A/N-I blame sleep deprivation for this.
Disclaimer-If you recognize it, than it's not mine.
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Poor Jonathan. Here he was, king of Tortall, all mighty and powerful, who had unlimited power to gold and silver. And he was bored.
Stupid Scanrans. There they go, not fighting, just co-operating nicely with each other. No progression, no balls, no fighting. Nothing.
He wanted to kill something. Some villagers would do nicely.
"Thayeeeeetttt," he whined, "can I pleasssee go down to downtown Corus and kill some people?"
"No, honey. You did that yesterday, remember?"
He pouted. Both of them were in the throne room, staring at the wall. He stared even harder, as if to try and get something to appear. Then he slouched against the throne.
"Please?"
"No."
"Can I pleassssseeee go and start a war?"
"No, you've done that too many times already."
He sighed. Women were so difficult!
"Can I pleasssssssseeee go to the bathroom?"
Thayet just gave him a sick look.
"George, I'm bored."
"Lass, I realize that."
The Lioness and her husband stood on one of the guard towers, scanning the distance for enemy armies. Or really just something. Anything. Nothing was moving in the distance. Actually, nothing was moving at all.
She put her spyglass to her eye.
"George! What's that?"
"What?" he took the spyglass.
"There! In the top left corner!"
"Lass, that's your fingerprint."
"Oh."
Daine and Numair sat on a log. They were on the road, finishing their mission assigned from Jon. It was to find a cure for boredom. So far, they had none.
"Maybe…" Numair muttered.
"Maybe what! Maybe what!" Daine shouted.
"If we all spent out time wondering how to cure being bored while we're bored, maybe that will cure boredom!"
"But if we are trying to find a cure for boredom while we're bored, and that will just make us more bored, since it is pretty boring looking for a cure for boredom."
"But," Numair said, taking a deep breath, "If we all are looking for a cure for boredom, maybe that will be boring, but yet it won't be boring because we have something to do, and therefore it won't be boring looking for a cure for boredom!"
"But then if that happened…."
"Meathead, you're a healer. It won't hurt that much if we practice just once more!"
"Kel! We've been doing this for the past month!"
She sighed and tossed her practice sword aside. They were standing in the practice courts, doing…nothing. Just standing there, too bored to do anything.
"Maybe if we talked to Jon we can start a war…something. Maybe a food fight war! Yes, we can fill the catapults with vegetables! Then they'll eat them!"
"Kel…are you…sane?" Neal asked.
A glint filled her eyes.
"Me...want...cookie...tired...of...vegetables..."
She picked up the practice sword, and started walking towards Neal in a zombie-like way.
Neal screamed and ran away.
"It is not a fingerprint!"
"Lass, yes it is!"
Alanna sighed.
"No, George, it's an invading army."
He was just about to retaliate that armies aren't big fingerprints when a scream interrupted them. It was Neal.
Alanna grabbed the back of his shirt.
"Squire! Why are you screaming?"
He paled.
"Kel…"
"What about Kel?"
"Kel…wants cookie!"
"No!" Alanna gasped. Even George looked shocked.
"We must stop her! Once you have a cookie, you will never eat vegetables…again!
"Mithros, no!" George shouted.
"Let's split up. I'll take her room, George, the kitchen, and Neal, wherever you won't hurt yourself."
Then they ran off, in search of Kel.
A/N-This was written for pure enjoyment for me. I had fun. And yes, there will be a second chapter.
Please, no flames, I am highly aware of the stupidity content. Based on Jamie August's fic 'To Seek Out New Forms of Entertainment', especially the spyglass part.
Please review!