Fic & Tonic

Chapter One: A sickeningly realistic dream

This is not my bed.

Adrienne McAllister looked up at the dark-wooden ceiling of a magnificent-looking four-poster as she stirred under the warm blankets. A strong ray of sunlight poured on her face from outside the half-drawn hangings. It was what had awakened her, apparently.

But she didn't move. She was very scared. Last night, she had had a few drinks with her friends, downstairs in her living room, and then she had gone to bed. To her bed, a very different one. Or at least, that was all she could remember. Had she drunk that much? Was she... elsewhere?

"Hey, Parkinson. Malfoy's downstairs and he's starting to get pissed." A rough female voice called up somewhere outside. It was not a familiar voice at all. Adrienne had only started to wonder who this stranger was, and whom she was addressing to, when the hangings drew all open, and the blunt figure of a very wide girl blocked almost all the light from the window.

And she looked mad.

"Don't give me that deer-in-the-headlights look. Get your lazy arse up, dressed and downstairs right now!" The wide girl's voice was very threatening, and Adrienne did not dare to make a comment. In silence, she nodded and got up, quickly trying to remember something from the night before. It had happened before, after all. She had drunk that much in previous occasions.

The wide girl started walking around, apparently very annoyed about Adrienne's slept over, but at the same time, helping her find some clothes. And it was odd, too. Because this were not her clothes, and no matter where she looked, she could not find anything resembling even remotely what her clothing usually looked like. And why was this girl putting so much pressure on her? What time was it, anyway?

"W-What time is it?" Adrienne asked timidly. The girl rolled her eyes.

"It's nearly eight in the morning. Breakfast's been served already. Draco said that you'd be helping him with your notes on History of Magic, and you've already made him wait for ten minutes!" She answered sharply, pinning a gleaming silvery badge to Adrienne's weird clothes.

"I can't figure you out, really." She went on. "First you say you love him, with all your heart. You hang with him, you do his homework, you help him with the exams, you laugh at every one of his jokes, you... sleep with him. And now you act like this! Of all the girls in Slytherin for whom the only son of Lucius Malfoy means quite the catch, he picked you! And you start acting like this? Can't you see it, Pansy? You're going to lose him!" She ended, and started cramming a brown-leather bag with books.

But Adrienne had stopped moving. Her mouth did move, though, as though trying to force words out, but the sound would not come. She touched her face and then her hair. It felt different. And upon looking down, she noticed finally the Prefect badge on her chest. It caught the sunlight, shining beautifully.

Pansy? Slytherin? History of Magic? Pansy... Parkinson? MALFOY! In a single second, reality dawned on her. She was still fast asleep, and she was having a very weird dream about the Harry Potter world.

But it looked so real...

"Okay, Adrienne, you've got to wake up." She told herself, going back to the bed and lying down. "This has got to be a dream, and I'll soon wake up in my bed, in my house and with a humongous hangover. I oughta stop reading fan fiction while I drink, though..." She muttered, absentmindedly.

"Oh, and this... big-boned girl must be Millicent Bulstrode. Hello, Millicent." She smiled and waved at the girl, who had stopped picking up books and bits of parchment, and was looking down at her in utter astonishment.

But when Adrienne waved, Millicent caught her hand and pulled her up. Shortly after, she filled a glass with water and passed it over.

"You two were up till very late yesterday, heavens know doing what," she said, making her drink the water. It was a very realistic water, Adrienne had to admit. It even felt cold. "I have no idea what you were drinking, but sure it is what's making you act this strange." She finished, taking away the glass. Adrienne smiled.

"Oh, nothing uncommon. Just a few Baileys, and some whiskey. Oh, and Tony's Gin & Tonic. Damn, I knew I shouldn't've had that last one..." Adrienne answered. Millicent was pushing her towards the door. "Hey, let me go. I wanna lay down." She walked back to her bed, but did not count on Millicent losing her patience. She pulled her arm, hard this time, and made her stand in front of her.

"Look at me." She said, and without a warning, she slapped her square. And it hurt. A lot.

"Ouch!" Adrienne rubbed her reddening cheek. How could it hurt if it was a dream?

"Haven't you been listening? Are you really that thick?" She yelled at her. But sure enough, Adrienne wasn't listening. Her cheek felt hot. She looked at Millicent resentfully. If it was her dream, they why was this girl hitting her, and why did it hurt so much?

"Alright, alright, I'll come down." She said, grabbing the bag Millicent was offering her. "Probably when I get there, I'll wake up and everything will be over." She muttered, dragging her feet towards the door. "Curse this stupid dream..."

But once outside the door, a very shocking view made her forget her aching cheek. The torch-lit stone steps looked sickeningly realistic, and as she walked down and out to the common room, the rest of it did, too. The light of an iron chandelier at the ceiling projected dancing shadows to the stonewalls, and the leather-bound furniture was superb. A few more students were scattered around, all of them sunk on their notes. It was, by far, the most realistically detailed dream Adrienne had had in her life, and she was starting to wonder if it was really a dream. She looked around, curious about the Malfoy heir, when her eyes met the pale face of the silver-haired boy. Not half bad, she thought, even though a frown adorned his features, cut with paper-edged precision. He looked a huge lot like Tom Felton, but it was definitely not him. There was an overall regal air about him that the young actor did not portray in the movies.

And of course, his pet gorillas, Crabbe and Goyle were standing near, presumably egging Draco's anger about Pansy Parkinson's belated appearance.

"T'was about time!" He called, and walked up to her. "Where are your notes?" He demanded.

Adrienne glared at him. Okay, no matter what kind of wacky self-insertion dream she was having, she was not going to be talked to like that.

"What if I just don't lend you my notes?" She said, defiantly. Draco looked in surprise, and turned to Crabbe and Goyle, who didn't know what to do. It was just Pansy, after all. There was no need of threatening looks, Draco could handle it. He sneered at her, and at once, Crabbe and Goyle started to snigger stupidly.

"Ooh, look at the little tramp. Why so tense? You weren't like this yesterday," he said, walking closer to her. And before she could react, he had groped her arse. Crabbe and Goyle cheered and whistled to their leader.

Adrienne was beside herself with anger. Had he just suggested...? She raised her hand instinctively, to slap him on the face, but he grabbed her wrist. Now he was grinning widely, a look of sadistic delight in his cold eyes.

"We all know you're not very smart, but I'm going to act under the thought that you can understand a direct order. Give. Me. Your. Notes. Now." He said, putting pressure to her wrist. It was starting to hurt; Adrienne could not understand why. Was this a dream, after all? Her self-preservation instinct made her agree with Draco's request.

"Um, okay. But I think I..." she said, not knowing where such notes could be. "I think I left them upstairs."

"Then I suggest you go get them sharpish." He let go of her arm, and she walked back to the stairs. "And please, don't waste more of my time." Adrienne heard him saying, backed up with Crabbe and Goyle's stupid chuckles.

She ran back upstairs, to her room. Millicent wasn't there. She must have left the dungeon common room while Adrienne was arguing with Draco. Poor Millicent, she thought, it must be hard to go unnoticed most of the time.

But her problems were big enough to make her forget about Millicent in a blink. What the hell was going on? She found a mirror at her bedside cabinet and looked at herself. The face of an unknown girl looked back. How was this possible? If it was her dream, then Adrienne's face should be looking back. It was starting to worry her. What if it wasn't a dream at all? What if it all was... real? She looked at her hands, and fingered the Prefect badge on her chest yet again. It had the letters I and S at the bottom in small print. Inquisitorial Squad. The dreaded mini-army of Umbridge. Adrienne was shocked. Could this all be real, after all? And why was it happening to her?

Starting to believe she wasn't dreaming, Adrienne concentrated hard, trying to remember everything she had read from book five of the Harry Potter series. History of Magic. The last O.W.L. The one in which Harry had the dream of Sirius being tortured by Lord Voldemort. The exam was supposed to take place in the afternoon, did it mean that she had been given the morning to study for it?

Remembering she had to find her notes, she dumped her book bag on the floor and looked through her books, resisting the temptation of flipping their pages. Hey, if this is real, I'd like to take a look at the spells, she thought.

But no notes. Instead, something fell down her robes with a small clatter when she got up. Pansy Parkinson's magic wand. Adrienne looked at it in awe, as it rolled slightly to one side. She picked it up, and looked at its dark-wooden majesty. What kind of core it had? Could she... use it?

She aimed at one of the books on the floor. Remember the movie, Adrienne. Swish and flick.

"Wingardium Leviosa" she said, softly, and the book rose in the air, floating slowly. It felt so cool. Probably some of Pansy's abilities were still in her body, as Adrienne had managed to perform the charm at the first try. Probably all of them. They now only needed to be found out.

A shout from out her doors woke her up.

"Parkinson, move on! I don't have all day!" The drawling voice of Draco Malfoy echoed in the narrow staircase. Boys couldn't come up to the girls' dormitories. Adrienne smiled. She was safe there. But for how long? If Millicent came back...

"I'm coming! They're all messy, I'm fixing them up for you, Draco!" She shouted. And began to worry again.

Relax, you're a witch now. She told herself. There must be something you can do, but what?

"Oh!"

How did it not occur to her before?

"Accio notes!"

And a dozen or so rolls of parchment flew from across the room to her outstretched arms. These must be mine, I mean, Pansy's. She thought and read them lightly. The subject seemed to be History of Magic, although due to her ignorance of the magical world, it could have been anything else. But some spoke of troll wars and the Decree of Restriction on Underage Magic, and the Wizengamot. Yes, that must be it.

"Coming!" She shouted, and darted down, Pansy's books stored carelessly on her bag. Draco now looked very pissed off.

"Well, we decided to cooperate at last, didn't we?" He said, snatching the notes from her. Adrienne felt like slapping him again, but refrained. She still feared this new situation, even if Crabbe and Goyle weren't there. She wondered where they had gone.

"Okay, where do we start?" Draco said sharply, sitting on a leather armchair. Oops, someone help me, Adrienne thought while picking a roll of parchment at random from Draco's lap.

"Er... wherever you want. This one, uh, is about..." she read the first paragraph, "troll wars! Yes, troll wars. Do you want to start with this one?" She asked. Draco shrugged. "Whatever, bitch."

"Okay, I'm going to read it once," Adrienne said, her fingers fighting not to clench on the roll. There were a lot more reasons to hate Draco Malfoy than she had thought of, "and then you can ask questions..."

"Wait a minute. What about the Retentive Draught you offered me?" He said.

Adrienne stared back. What the hell...? "You don't think I'm going to actually study all this?" He waved his hand disdainfully over the rolls. "I have far better things to do than spending a whole morning locked in here, reading things over and over. Where's the potion?" He said, straightening up on the chair. Some rolls fell to the floor. He didn't seem to care.

"Oh, the potion. I must have left it upstairs," Adrienne said to an exasperated Draco Malfoy, who urged her to go and fetch it. She ran back to her dormitory, yet again, and prayed for the potion to be there.

"Accio potion!" she cried, fearfully. And a capped crystal flask with a transparent-looking liquid flew to her hands, knocking down a book in its way. Luckily, the fragile bottle didn't broke. Adrienne picked up the book absentmindedly and placed it onto Pansy's bed. And gasped in surprise when she noticed the title.

"Moste Potente Potions. Wow." She gaped at it, not daring to open it.

But time was the least thing she had. If Pansy had such book in her room, in the week of the O.W.L.'s, then it was obvious she had used it to make the Retentive Draught. Adrienne flipped through the pages, looking for the potion's description so she could be sure that the potion she had in her hands was the correct one, and finally found it.

The Retentive Draught: A very powerful draught. Gives the drinker the ability to retain information upon hearing it. Only ten drops are necessary to obtain the desired effects, but it only lasts from thirty to sixty minutes, depending on the drinker. It is said it wears off quicker on those with slow minds, but it hasn't been proved. Once recorded, the information stays clear in the drinker's mind for about twenty-four hours.
The draught shouldn't be used twice in at least a forty-eight-hours period. The overuse of it can cause from severe headaches to brain exploding, due to the brain's delicate information-storing method and capacity.
When correctly concocted, it should be odourless, tasteless and colourless.

"Trust Malfoy to cheat for exams." She said, pouring down one drop in her palm, to make sure it was odourless ("Odourless, check."), and then she tasted it with the tip of her tongue. ("Tasteless, check.")

I wonder if the teachers are aware of this particular book being out of the library in this time-period. Adrienne thought, and walked down the stairs. She hoped there wasn't any other colourless, tasteless and odourless potion in Pansy's room. She chuckled at the memory of a fan fiction story she had read the night before, in which Remus Lupin had gotten pregnant (yes, pregnant!) with a potion like that. Some people had no respect for intelligence...

"Here it is. Ten drops is enough, or else your head might explode." She said, wondering if his head wouldn't explode at five drops. It was already all swelled up with his ego...

Draco took it from her hands and was about to pour the drops on a small glass, when Adrienne had an idea.

"Wait. It says it only works if the drinker, means you, read aloud what they want to memorize. And it lasts only thirty minutes." She said innocently. Draco looked up to her.

"Then what are you waiting for? Leave me alone. And if you see Crabbe and Goyle, tell them to come in here." He said, measuring the liquid. Adrienne grabbed her bag and walked out the Slytherin common room, happy about getting rid of Malfoy. If Adrienne McAllister was indeed trapped in the body of Pansy Parkinson, fifth-year Slytherin student of the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, then there was some exploring she wanted to do. Or at least, find a reason for such an extraordinaire thing to happen.