The sound of footsteps filled the church as people spoke in hushed voices whilst taking their seats. Jal sat at the front along with Michelle (probably for a shoulder to cry on). Also in the front sat Chris's Dad, Step-mum and half brother Sammy. Chris's mum had also managed to turn up at last and she to sat at the front on the other side of Jal. Although Jal and Chris's mum had never met, Jal felt some sort of love towards her, after all she was the women who brought Chris into the world, just as she would be doing in six months time with her and Chris's baby. There were more people than Jal had expected, people she hadn't seen before and people who she knew very well. In the row behind her and Michelle sat Tony, Maxxie, James (Maxxie's boyfriend), Anwar, Kenneth, Sid, Chris's boss along with a couple of his other college and work friends. They all had smart black suits on and crisp white shirts. Cassie hadn't turned up. God knows where she was! Michelle and Sid had called her millions of times and left dozens of messages but Cassie hadn't seemed to of taken much notice of them, obviously.
Moments after everybody had filled their seats, the church became silent and the sound of the church bells began to ring. Jal knew it was time, time to say her last goodbyes to the only person she ever really loved. He was never going to kiss her lips or hold her hands again. He was never going to be there to make her laugh after a family row or an argument with Michelle. He was never going to greet her in the mornings with a big fry up or welcome her home in the evenings with a plate full of burnt eggie bread. And worst of all he was never going to be there to hold her hand and support her whilst she gave birth to their child. Jal could feel her throat beginning to close and she could feel her mouth going dry. Her belly was full of butterflies but not the kind you get when you're excited, the nervous type. Every time she closed her eyes she could see Chris lying there on his bed, eyes closed not breathing… dead. This brought tears to her eyes and she felt herself going red, she couldn't control herself for much longer. She opened her eyes again and bit down hard on her bottom lip, trying so hard to hold back the tears as usual. Just then she felt a warm cautious hand above her own. But it was not Michelle, it was Chris's mum. Jal looked to the left where she sat. Looking carefully at each other their eyes met. Jal could not help but notice that they were the same piercing blue as Chris's had once been. Her eyes too were full of tears. She leaned forward and whispered in Jal's ear
"You know, he would of made a great father?"
Jal sat up straight, a confused expression on her face. How did she know?
But before she could ask, Chris's mum answered.
"You're showing love, its not hard to see".
Jal looked down at her belly and noticed her bump showing more than usual through her black dress. She smiled, and looked back up at Chris's mum. Tears were rolling down both of their cheeks. Jal placed her free hand on top of Chris's mums as they watched the dark brown coffin being carried down the aisle towards them.
It had been 2 hours since the funeral, everything had gone to plan thanks to Chris's step mum. She had helped to arrange most of the funeral as Jal had not been up to it at the time. Jal didn't make a speech as she felt she could not express herself well enough, Chris knew how she felt though. She had always laughed to herself in the past when Michelle would come to her telling her she was heartbroken over Tony. 'Heartbroken' she used to think.. like any man could ever break a heart. It was just a word people would use when they were upset about something. But Jal couldn't think of a better word to describe how she was currently feeling. Chris couldn't of left her at a worse time, she thought. But that was Chris all over always failing to play the game! But that was why she loved him. Jal was sitting on the sofa in Chris's apartment with the fluffy rainbow blanket over her. People were gathered around her chatting happily about their memories of Chris. One side chatting about how him and Peter would stay up through the night playing superheroes and the other side chatting about the wild things Chris would get up to at parties. But Jal sat thinking to herself. She was almost sure that she was the only person Chris had truly cared about (along with Peter of course), the only person who he had truly loved. Jal felt a small kick from inside her stomach and smiled to herself, their baby must agree. Just then a dark haired lady sat down next to her, Jal recognized her straight away.
"Thank you for inviting me Jal, it must have been hard for you" said Angie.
"Yeah, well I did it for Chris, no matter how much I dislike you after what you did, Chris did have some sort of feelings for you.. once!" replied Jal.
"Yes, he did" said Angie looking down to the ground "But he was different with you, I could tell"
Jal looked up at her, she knew Angie was a phycology teacher but she sure knew how to mess with her head.
"What are you talking about Angie?" Jal said, snapping.
"When it.. you know when it happened something made him stop, he never did that. I'd never seen him like that before, never! He looked so guilty when he heard you calling for him..' she said.
Jal knew Angie was talking about the time Chris had cheated on her, but she didn't want to carry on talking about that, she didn't want to talk to anyone at all.
Getting up she left the room where the wake was being held, she slowly made her way up the stairs and into Chris's room. She hadn't been in there since she had come to see him for the last time. She locked the door behind her and went and sat down on the bed. The sheets beneath her were cold for the first time, she knew this was because they had not been used for over 2 weeks now. Tears were falling down her cheeks again and she felt weak and tired. Jal had not slept properly since Chris's death. Every time she did manage to fall asleep though she would wake up happy and would look around for Chris, only to remember after a few seconds that he was not there. This was the worst part of waking up in the morning, along with the morning sickness of course.
Several miniuets later Jal wiped the last tears away from her face and walked over to the wardrobe. Opening it she bent down and took out the box at the bottom and closed the doors again. She unbuttoned the sheets from the cold duvet and climbed inside it bringing the box with her. Opening the box and emptying the contents onto her lap she rummaged through some old photos and drawings of Chris until she found what she was looking for, grabbing hold of it she smiled and wiped the layer of dust off of it with her sleeve. There in her hands was a colourful book named ' The Very Hungry Caterpillar'. Jal sat and read the book over and over again, secretly hoping that when she came out of the covers life would be very different for her and in a way it was.
1 month later
Jal's suitcases were packed and sitting in the hall of her house.
"Lynton, Ace.. I'm going!" Jal called out to her brothers who were upstairs.
"COMING, SIS!" shouted Ace.
The two brothers came running down the stairs to say goodbye to their sister. Both of them hugged her and wished her luck.
"Thanks" said Jal feeling rather sad now "Tell dad I said bye for me?"
"No need.." Said Ronnie (Jal's dad) "Ace, Lynton go and take Jal's suitcases to the Taxi" he said.
"Dad?" said Jal confused now.
Her dad hushed her and put a hand on her shoulder "I may seem like I don't care and I know I don't ask you how you are. But I really do love you and I always will. Take care of yourself, Jal and my grandchild please!" he said smiling and pulling his daughter into a hug for the first time in years.
Jal couldn't believe she was hearing this, but she hugged back tightly and looked up at her dad.
"I'll call you when I get there" she said avoiding eye contact with him "And.. i love you too Dad"
She turned away and walked over to the Taxi. Once she was she waved goodbye to her family as the taxi drove down the road. Taking one last look at the house she'd grown up in and the family she'd grown up with she wiped away a single tear that had appeared on her cheek. It wasn't all bad.
Hours later Jal arrived at the Royal Music University, paying the taxi driver and grabbing hold of her cases she got out of the car and looked at her future home. She walked down the pathway watching the young adults talking out on the green and laughing with each other. After a bit of searching she found her room and knocked on the door. A dark haired boy opened the door and greeted her, helping her with her bags. There were two single beds on either side of the room. One was in use while the other one had not been touched. Jal went and sat on the free bed and put her bags down on the floor.
"Hi I'm Terry" said the boy holding out a hand. Jal shook it.
"I'm Jal" she replied smiling .
"So what instruments do you play?" said Terry trying to make conversation with his new room mate.
"Just the clarinet.. You?"
"Oh, I play the trombone"he said happily then looked around at the messy room "Oh and by the way you'll have to excuse the state of the room, i've been travelling for hours and haven't properly put my bits away yet, came all the way over here from East Anglia you know!"
Jal burst out laughing as she remembered what Chris had said to her a couple of weeks ago...
'You'll move in with some guy called Terry who's from East Anglia who plays the fucking trombone and you'll sit up through the night discussing you're blowing techniques!'
Terry looked rather confused as Jal had just about finished laughing.
"Sorry, the baby kicked that's all" she lied
"Oh so you are pregnant, is it a boy or a girl?" he asked excitedly.
"The nurse told me it would be a boy" Jal smiled proudly, resting her hand on her bump.
"Awesome.. Have you got any names in mind then?"
Jal fell silent for a couple of seconds and smiled.
"Yep.. Christopher" she said nodding"After his wonderful daddy"
And the pair sat up all night discussing how they got into the university and not each others blowing techniques!