AN: This is more or less an overhaul of the previous version of my story. By no way is this canon to my other Total Drama story. That being said, I hope you enjoy.
Chris and Chef walked into the producer's office, again. Chris was more than nervous, or more accurately, fucking terrified of what the producer may tell him. After all, what could he have done wrong? The ratings were excellent and there was no way the producer wanted to tell him something that could possibly result in him being fired. Anything but that. Chris touched the knob and pulled it around, making a squeaky sound as the door opened. There it was, sitting in his seat, the unbiased, fair, kindhearted (obviously sarcasm) producer who scared the utter crap out of the Chris. This time, he looked like he was going to pop a vein, which meant that something was definitely off. Chris feared that he may lose his job, it was sin against nature! He'd rather die in a painful manner than losing the job that gives him privileges. Chef, however, couldn't care less. After all the hard he did for two seasons, he still didn't get his paycheck because of Chris's selfish, cheapstake tendencies.
They both took a seat and listened as the producer ranted.
"Mclean, I wanted you to make these teenagers hate each other. Not making Duncan and Courtney break up in the finale. They were our cash cow and now, because of you, the ratings are plummeting. Can't you do anything right?"
"But sir" Chris nervously stammered "It's not my fault, and I'm sick of that whiny little brat trying to sue the show!"
"May I remind you that she sued the show because YOU refused to let her participate!" he snapped "Her lawsuits cost us a whole lot of money. And we received s a lot of fan complaints about how their favourites, including Cody, Ezekiel, and Noah, weren't in the season at all! We would've become richer if you only let the others participate, but no! You chose to ignore my orders!" he screamed, pounding his desk with a fist, which made his lamp fall over the ground and break. Chris and Chef stepped away from the producer.
"You're the host, Mclean. I want you to make the teenagers be at each other's throats, because them being nice is boring! I want a new season and make even more money, or else you're fired!"
"Actually, I have a better proposition."
All three of them heard a deep raspy voice that none of them has ever heard of before. It was even deeper than Chef's. The host, the cook and the producer turned their heads to the opened door, and saw a tall, shadowy figure, probably the owner of that voice.
"Who the hell are you?" the producer demanded. The figure stepped out of the light to reveal himself. He was a tall man in his fifties, he carried a walking stick, and wore a dark blue greatcoat and had long brown hair, two small ears and had a brownish-orange skin color, a long face similar to a reptile's, and a above average physique. But the most striking feature of his were those exotic reptilian eyes, which had red pupils, which would resemble some sort of demon.
"My name is not important right now," the man introduced himself in a deep, yet suave voice, "But I am the new co-host according to the prescription your network sent."
"Prescription?" Chris asked dumbfounded, then it dawned to him, he fearfully turned to the producer "You're not intending to fire me, are you?"
"I am, if you don't find an idea for the new season, Mclean" he responded uncaringly.
"Actually sir, my idea is more of a plan," The mystery man said as he pulled some profiles and placed a set of sheets on the desk. "Well, there's this huge plane that opens up from the belly you see, and we can call it 'The Drop of Shame!'"
"What?" Chris asked indignant "That's MY idea, you thief!"
"Is it, Mclean?" the tall man asked rhetorically "Or just as long as our unbiased, fair, kindhearted producer believes you're still useful?"
That made Chris feel uncomfortable. The man smirked as he presented the papers "You see sir, my idea for the new season is a journey around the world, and the cast members will visit every possible location on the planet"
"But that costs a lot of money, and I hate spending money" he rebutted.
"Worry not, my company, MWF Industries will provide the extra services and conditions for the campers as soon as their teams are declared the winner. And this season and the previous one, the teams will be assorted according to their strengths, weaknesses, personality, etc."
"Okay, I'm liking it."
"But under one condition: this season will be played under my rules, we will send the campers a new contract that prevents them any chance of finding a loophole that would give them the chance to escape the show, like the old contract had."
"And?"
"The best part is that it will be a musical, so that the teenage population of the viewers can watch our show non stop. All of that will be possible if, you make me the new Chairman of the Board of Directors that own Total Drama."
That last part did it for Chris.
"WWWWHHAAAAAAAATT! You as the new Chairman? No way old man!"
"Ha! If it gets us more drama and ratings, I'm all for it Mclean" the producer scoffed. "Now, what else do you have to offer, Mister-?"
"Oh please sir, just call me Eminence. Everyone does"
"Okay Eminence, what other thing do you have in this plan of yours?"
"This" he reclaimed as he pulled a profile out of the blue and placed on the producer's desk "This profile belongs to a young man who promises will bring the drama in 'Total Drama'." He said while opening the file. The producer snatched it and read it. The more he read, the more intrigued he looked.
"I don't know what to say Eminence, but are you sure this kid will bring us the ratings?"
"But of course. He is a master manipulator and is capable of twisting delicate situations to his favor, like me. I assure you sir, this is the answer to all your problems. Not to mention that they will be joined by over thirty other new recruits that will take the drama off the roof."
"We have a deal," the producer immediately agreed as he shook his hand with Eminence. Chris, on the other hand, looked like he was about to collapse.
6 months later...
"Remind me why we are doing this?" A male boy said as he sat in the back seat of the car with two other kids. He had poofy black hair, bluish-green eyes, and sunshade skin. He also had bags under his eyes. He wore a contrasting blue hoodie with a yellow T-shirt underneath, blue jeans, and white and red shoes with black laces.
"Because Max," The man who had is hands on the wheel said, "I got these tickets cheap, and I felt it'd be such a waste if we didn't take advantage of this golden opportunity to go out and ." The man had a a long-sleeved, dark green T-shirt with a pine tree on it, rolled-up sleeves, and olive green shorts, as well as white socks, brown shoes, and a yellow t-shirt tied around his neck and a brown vest.
"Well then, tell me this David," Max stated, "Why did we have to take my car all the way to Toronto?!"
"That's because," a girl of a relatively short stature. She wore a mustard yellow shirt and red overalls rolled up to her knees. Her hair was turquoise with matching laced shoes. Her eyes were an unusual bright pink. She had two white band-aids on her left cheek and scratches on her right cheek, said from the back seat, "David's the only one who has a car."
"Fine," Max growled as David turned the wheel yet again in order to try to get through the traffic, "how are you holding up Neil?"
The final member of the four, another boy, had chestnut-brown curly hair, a mustard yellow, short-sleeved turtleneck, and dark red skinny jeans that are rolled up at the bottom. He also had white tennis shoes with baby blue laces and trim on the bottom. He had blue eyes with pale skin, "Fucking swell," Neil said with sarcasm in his tone. Making it clear that he wasn't too fond of this trip either. After several more moments, Max finally began to flip out.
"Why the fuck is the traffic this bad?!" he screamed.
"It is an award ceremony," Neil offered, though it did not seem to soothe Max. Suddenly Max felt a tap on his back, and Nikki pointed out a small alley to their left.
"Good idea," David suddenly pulled into the alley, "We'll just leave this here, and come back when this award show is finished."
"Are you sure this is safe?" Neil wondered aloud.
"Do you want to actually see this thing?" Max said sarcastically, before running out of the alley, "Now come on, we don't know how far this thing is, so we need to…oh, here we are."
By some strange coincidence, the alley was adjacent to the award ceremony. Max began to walk towards the crowd, only to hear a loud cough. He sighed, and ran back to the car.
"You weren't going to leave us here," Neil asked angrily as Max smirked, "Were you?"
"Survival of the fittest my friend," Max laughed, as the other two glared at him with David shaking his head in disapproval. They then walked over to the crowd. They began to fight to the front, not wanting to miss what was going on.
"What show are we here to root for again?" Max asked. The other looked dumbly at him.
"You mean you didn't even know the show we were here to see when you agreed to come with us all the way up here."
"I keep telling you that I never agreed to anything, David," Max growled, "You got me up at four in the morning and stuck the three of us in a hot car on five hours sleep and fifteen hours all the way to this reject of a country. Do you know what it's like to be on the road all the way from Camp Campbell to Toronto, Ontario in one day!"
"We're here to root for that hit Canadian reality show," Neil explained, holding up a magazine with a picture of twenty two teens, "Total Drama. It's kind of like Survivor, but with teens in it instead, and they had one season in an abandoned summer camp, and one in an abandoned film lot."
"I really liked that show," Nikki said with her usual enthusiasm, "Izzy's my favorite character!"
Max slapped his forehead, "Of course it's a reality show. And a Canadian reality show at that!" groaned loudly, "Why do I hang out with you guys?"
"Because we have been friends since last summer," Neil stated. They all watched as a young African American girl ran up to a young man walking out of a limousine. The young man was wearing a yellow sweat suit, with orange hair and sun glasses.
"This is Sierra with our first arrival," the African girl said, "Harold, aka, H-bomb!"
Somebody threw a book at Harold, knocking the H-bomb out.
"Guess we have some H-bomb fans in the audience today," Sierra giggled, before spying the next limo, "And here is reality's most famous BFF's, Katie and Sadie."
"Oh my gosh," Katie muttered, "Celebrity Manhunt! Ah, Josh, we love you!"
Suddenly, a giant bus pulled up in the front. On the side of the worn down vehicle, was a picture of an older, formal looking African American woman, and a younger African American man with a skull cap and a beard.
"I told you we'd be late, D.J.," the older woman complained as she climbed out of the bus, followed by her son.
"D.J.," the all turned to see Sierra running up to the two new honorees, "How does it feel to have it all, and lose it?"
"Um," D.J. shrugged, "No big."
"Okay," Sierra said, apparently hearing someone in her ear, "So D.J., who can't you stand from Total Drama. I mean, who do you-ow!"
Do you think I would ever raise my son to talk behind other people's backs," Momma D.J. asked, as the two walked back onto the carpet, leaving Sierra stunned.
Suddenly, two other limos pulled up, one with a young woman with tan skin, formal dress, and for some reason, a raccoon in her arms, and from the other, a punk with a green Mohawk and choke collar. As they argued, more and more cast-members filed onto the carpet, filling the whole walkway up.
"I call front seat," Heather shouted.
"Oh no you don't!"
Let's just say that lead to a pile up. As the main part of the cast attempted to right themselves, another limo pulled up, revealing an Indian boy in a sweater vest, with sunglasses, and a blue tooth. As he began to list out an order, he completely ignored Sierra, who had attempted to ask him a question.
"Not very good at the art of the interview," Max said, as she failed to cause a look of surprise on her last interviewed group, H-bomb, and the other members of his band, "Is she."
"Nope."
"No."
"At least she's trying her best,"
The four suddenly noticed that the crowd was moving inside the auditorium. They all smiled, as they began to walk in, Max noticed something, the members of Total Drama were being held up by a large African American man.
"Hey," the four stopped as he pointed out what was going on, "Why are they stopping them?"
They continued to watch as Chris Mclean, host of the show, walked up to them, and how Noah gave Chris a latte and muffin. Then, another limo showed up and out came a large group of people or… animals. The first ones to come out where strange in appearance. One was a fat man who had brown hair, glasses, and wore a white dress shirt, green pants, and brown shoes. His two companions were looked a lot weirder than he was. Another was a baby. Who was dressed in a yellow shirt and red overalls, what was weird about him was that he had a football shaped head. The third member was perhaps the weirdest of them all. That one was in fact a pure white dog who wore a red collar. As all three walked across the red carpet many looked in wonder at the baby and dog.
The next group was four nine year olds. The first one was apparently the most normal compared to the other three; He wore a blue skull cap with a red puffball on it, a brown jacket with a red collar, and blue jeans. The second had a weird green ushanka, wore an orange jacket and green pants. The third was very fat, in fact he was obese. He wore a blue and yellow skull cap and a red sweater. The final member was completely covered up in an orange parka.
Another person arrived; he too was strange in appearance. For some reason he had yellow skin, I mean it was actually yellow. He wore a white shirt, blue pants, and black shoes. When he ran across the red carpet, he tripped and fell flat on his face causing him to scream "Doh," but he quickly got back up and ran happily inside the auditorium.
The next three arrivals were kids as well but a bit older than the four nine year olds. The first was short, wore a yellow and purple polo shirt with a vertical red stripe on the right, and had three hairs sticking up. The next was tall and had a green jacket on over a red and white striped T-shirt, he smelled incredibly bad for some reason. The third and final member wore a ski hat, a red shirt, and purple shorts.
Another group had arrived. The first member looked the most normal. He had red hair and wore a white shirt under a red jacket and blue jeans. The second was a woman who had purple hair, wore a white tank top with black pants, and perhaps the strangest thing about her was that she had only one eye. The third member was the strangest of them all. He was in fact a robot with a cylinder body and an antenna on his head.
The next one to arrive was a anthropomorphic horse with brown fur and a black mane, with a white streak on his snout that begins at his upper lip and ends underneath his eyes, with a white diamond shaped mark on his forehead. He also has a pink spot on his nose and pointy ears near his mane. Wearing an unbuttoned gray jacket with a blue sweater underneath, cyan jeans and red-and-white sneakers.
After that, two more kids arrived along with an elderly man. They were African American. The first one was a boy with a large afro, who wore a brown shirt over a white shirt, and blue jeans. The second was another boy was slightly shorter. His hair was done in cornrows and he wore a white tank top and jeans. The old man had balding grey hair, glasses, and wore a green button up sweater over a white shirt and khakis.
The next two contestants did not arrive by limo but instead emerged out of swirling green portal much to the bewilderment of everyone else. They were a tall lanky old man and a young teenage boy. The old man had long legs and arms and is very skinny. He had a dimly tanned ashy complexion and grey-blue hair with a bald spot on the back of his head. He had spiky hair on his head and a unibrow. He wore a white lab coat with a light blue green shirt underneath. He also wore brown pants, a dark brown belt with a yellow buckle, and black shoes. The boy had short brown hair that he wears straight and neatly combed around his head. He wore a yellow shirt, blue pants, and white shoes.
Up next were two teenagers, One was tall and thin, and had short reddish brown hair. His face was freckled and he wore a sweater-vest over a button-up shirt with trousers that were slightly too short for his height. The other boy had short blonde hair, and wore a white long sleeved shirt, brown pants, and a blue neckerchief.
The next group had arrived. They were probably the strangest out of everyone that had arrived previously. They consisted of living fast food items. One was a giant milkshake cup with purple bendy straw and yellow hands; the next one was a living box of French fries with his box having eyes, a mouth, and a goatee, the last one was pretty much a giant ball of meat with eyes and a mouth with only one tooth. The former campers just stood looking incredulously at the living fast food.
The next person actually looked normal for a change. He was a middle-aged man wearing blue sweatpants, a white tank top, foam-green flip flops, and a golden chain around his neck. He also had a mustache and was overweight, balding, and had hair all over his body, even on the bottom of his feet.
The next three weren't even human in slightest. They were in fact three squids. One was green and wore a red and white trucker hat that had the words "Booty Hunter" on it and the second squid was a lighter shade of green and had long red hair and freckles for no apparent reason. The third was a purple elderly squid with glasses, who hung from a walker for unexplained reasons.
Two more animals arrived,The first one looked like a humanoid orange feline wearing a black jumpsuit with blue straps and orange gloves. His face seemed to be stuck in a permanent expression. His companion looked like a humanoid praying mantis wearing a blue costume with yellow gloves.
The second to last was another person with yellow skin, he was a 10-year-old boy with spiky hair, yellow skin and wearing an orange shirt, blue shorts and blue shoes.
"Come on in my peeps," Chris greeted.
"How are they famous?" Gwen asked.
"They're the stars of my new reality show, Total. Drama. Dirtbags!" Chris informed.
"Huh?!" everyone gasped
"A bunch of nasty jerks living in a huge mansion getting all bored and back stabby," Noah explained.
"I'm nasty, that should be me," said Heather.
"These guys are up and coming not down and going, I.E. you losers. Besides some of these guys are complete monsters," retorted Chris.
"Excuse me," said a voice as a young Latin man as he moved alongside everyone rudely knocking Cody down on the red carpet for no apparent reason.
"Alejandro, buddy, how's my next biggest star?" Chris greeted but Alejandro just walked past him, causing Chris to frown in irritation. Chris drank his latte then spat in out in Noah's face.
"Ugh, this latte's cold! You're fired!" shouted Chris as he shoved Noah to the other contestants.
"Well guys, I'd say later but uh…there isn't gonna be a later so…" Chris shut the doors, leaving the cast, and the four bystanders outside, with the spotlights going out.
"Wow," Neil muttered, "That's harsh."
"What," Max said, "That former stars who had fifteen minutes of fame are forced out of the spot light while the host turns it into a successful career," his two friends and guardian stared at him, "Well, let's get inside, we might as well go see the show we drove this far to see."
"But," Nikki said, "We don't care about the other shows. We're only fans of Total Drama."
"Hey guys," Sierra addressed the cast, "We have to find a way in."
"Leave that to me," Izzy stated, as she suddenly ran into the nearby alley. After several seconds, Izzy appeared again, this time from inside. As they all smiled, the door closed behind her, locking them all out once again.
Suddenly, the T.V. came blazing on. On it, Alejandro, the handsome Spaniard from earlier reveal that the gang had lost to "Old People in their Undies" for best cast. And then, when Chris received his best Host award, and then forgot to mention them, they were all furious.
"Tomorrow," Chris continued, as the T.V. that had been showing him was in thoroughly bad condition, "I will be announcing my newest reality show, Total Drama Dirtbags on the Oprah Show in New York."
"Dudes," Geoff groaned, "You heard the guy, were nobodies again."
"At least I'll be able to survive on the streets," Duncan said.
"Me too," Ezekiel commented, as some random hobo suddenly stole his wallet out of his back pocket.
"And I'll go back to being just another pretty face," Justin moaned.
"And pecs," Katie marveled.
"And abs," Sadie marveled.
"And Butt," Owen giggled, eliciting several horrified stares by those who were listening.
"Did not need hear that," Neil slapped his forehead.
As the Total Drama Cast walked away, Sierra and the four travelers stared in shock. Well, Max was actually trying to get into the building, which was locked, but the others were standing in shock.
"What's a matter with you guys?" Sierra shouted, "No one deserves to be famous more than you!"
"Walter Payton!" Max shouted out, causing all those there to stare at him, before he shrugged, "Just saying."
"Do you have any idea how many millions of fans you have out in the world!" Sierra continued.
"Well where are they?" Duncan asked angrily, "Everyone abandoned us so they could follow Chris Mclean!"
"Not those guys," Sierra pointed to the four travelers, who waved. Max crossed his arms angrily.
"You suck!" Neil hit Max in the head, causing the boy to fall down.
"Pain!" Max screamed.
"I have been watching, blogging, and PVR-ing you since the first episode," Sierra shouted, "We have fan sites about each and every one of you! We know everything about you, and we're rooting for you! We know about your eating habits, your hopes, your fears…YOUR DENTAL RECORDS!"
"Stalker," Heather whispered to Harold.
"Stalker," Max groaned as he stood up, and his friends and even David could not help but nod.
"You can't let us down now," Sierra begged, "What do you say?"
"What are we supposed to do?" Owen asked.
"Well," All turned to see Neil holding his chin, "If you beat those other contestants to New York, where that announcement is being held, you might be able to win fan support and get yourselves back on the show."
"Yeah!" Nikki agreed, "Besides, America has your biggest fan bases. Heck, they've even made Ezekiel of all people popular."
"But how are we supposed to get to New York by tomorrow afternoon?" Harold asked in frustration.
"I think I have a way!" Izzy shouted.
"Yeah," Max and Noah said at the same time, "This should be interesting."
"Okay, Cody," she pointed at the geek, I need you to gather up assorted pieces of lumber."
"Um," Cody said with unease, "Right now?"
"Owen," she turned to the ton of fun, "I need you to get a medium sized boat motor."
"I'm on it."
"Noah!" she turned to the egghead, "I'm counting on you for the gallons of diesel fuel."
"Right," Noah laughed, "I'll get my unicorn to bring it here."
"Perfect," Izzy laughed, before she heard a honking noise.
"Hey guys," D.J. asked as he stood on the stairs of the bus, "Are you going to get on the bus or not?"
The entire crowd cheered, before Momma D.J. stuck her head out of the window. "But wipe your feet first," she chided, causing them all to groan. As they began to pile on the bus, David, Neil, Sierra, and Nikki followed them.
"Wait guys!" Max shouted with irritation, "Don't tell me your going along with this half-baked scheme."
"Why not?" Neil asked, "When will we ever have a chance to become famous again?"
"Well so long," Max said. "I'm heading home."
Suddenly, the damaged T.V. blared on.
"Oh look, the Total Drama Dirt Bag bus is leaving right now!"
Suddenly, the T.V. showed a bus coming out of the studio through the alley. Along it's way, it was blocked by a car. The driver, not wanting to turn around, simply drove the bus over said car, totaling it. Max just stared at the T.V. with his eyelids half covering his eyes.
"That was our car wasn't it?" Max asked with disinterest. Neil, Nikki, and David quickly held each other in fear.
"Those fucking assholes just ruined our only ride home!" Max suddenly jumped on the bus, and hit the gas. As the Total Drama cast cheered, they ignored Max's cries of revenge.
Of course, this was only the beginning.
"Welcome back to Celebrity Manhunt," Blaineley smirked as she sat in her desk next to Josh.
"We have breaking gossip news," Josh stated.
"This is Total Drama Comeback!" Blaineley announced, before adding, "Not to be confused with the author Kobold Necromancer's story.
The screen switched to a picture of a shadow of a helicopter following a bus. Suddenly Chris McLean's voice blared onto the screen, "They will do anything to claw their way back to the top. Cheating, shameless self-promotion, sabotage…I love those kids!"
"You said they were washed up," Chef accused.
"That was before they set off on an unforgettable come back adventure," he then wiped a tear away.
"But wait," Blaineley asked, "Who are the mysterious four assistants who are joining them on their quest."
"Oh yeah," Chris suddenly pulled out several files, "The originally won your contest to come and see the Gemmy awards. Since they wanted to see the TD crew win, they stuck around after we left them out in the cold, and they stuck around to help them."
"Chris!" Blaineley shouted, "We have just have gained a feed from inside the bus!"
"I told you that these guys were gossip worthy," Sierra said, as she walked by sleeping cast members. Somehow, Danielle had managed to find a seat net to D.J., leaving her with a very large smile for some reason. As Sierra walked back, it showed many more cast members still sleeping.
"Doesn't this jalopy go any faster?" Courtney screamed from the driver's seat.
"Um," David muttered, "Don't you think you should let someone else drive?"
"Who, like that new guy?" Heather asked. Gwen pointed to Max, who was currently throwing darts at a picture of the members of Total Drama Dirt-Bags. The fact that he had accurately hit the crotch of every single member did not help give him a sane appearance. He giggled when he landed his second on Alejandro's crotch, before the giggle became a full blown cackle, causing the five in front to stare at him. While Duncan, Gwen, Courtney, and Heather moved away in fear, Izzy grinned for some reason.
"Oh now," Beth groaned, "I think I'm going to be bus sick."
"Not on my new upholstery!" Mama shouted in anger, while Leshawna marveled.
"Wow Mrs. M," the gangsta laughed, "You are something else!"
Mama suddenly looked up at Owen, who was stuffing something in an overhead compartment. "What are you doing boy!"
"Um," Owen mumbled, "Nothing."
He was proven to be a liar when suddenly a large pile of caramels fell out of the compartment.
"What are you doing with those caramels," Momma asked irritably, "Is my food not good enough?"
"I just keep a stash for after workouts," Owen explained.
"Hey guys," they all turned to see Bridgette looking out a window, "I can see the Dirt Bag bus!"
"Get closer!" Harold ordered, "I learned some battle tactics at summer camp."
"So what first," Max asked in a frenzy, "Cut out their gallbladders, or tear out their fucking hair!"
All those in the bus just stared at him with strange looks.
"Neither!"
"Aw shit," Max sat in his chair quietly.
Courtney stepped on the pedal, allowing them to overtake the Dirt Bag bus. When the Cast cheered as they got in front, Harold thought about phase two.
"If only we had a catapult," Harold offered, "Like a bra."
"Yeah," Noah chuckled, "Brilliant."
"You have any better ideas?" Gwen asked in anger.
"Here's a bra!"
Suddenly, a large pink bra was thrown onto Noah's head. The others turned to see Leshawna fixing her shirt.
"What,' the large woman asked, "Haven't you ever seen a big bra before?"
Gwen then ran to the back of the bus, and opened the back door. At the same time, the bra was tied down so it formed a slingshot. Tyler quickly placed several pounds of caramels in the bra, which they fired at the dirt bags, causing the opposing bus to skid out of control.
"Whoa!" Chris marveled, "It looks like our heroes are launching caramel flavored cannonballs!"
"Chris," Blaineley asked in amazement, "In your entire career, have you ever seen something so underhanded?"
"No," Chris said, again wiping a tear from his eye.
Suddenly, big foot stuck its head out the window in anger, only to be hit with caramels. After a few more volleys, the second bus began to slow down, giving the original cast an insurmountable lead. As they began to cheer, they were knocked over by turbulence. They all turned, and saw Duncan and Courtney had begun to make out. While this in itself was not a problem, Courtney had accidently let the bus drive off the road.
Courtney desperately tried to regain control of the bus. This accidently caused the wheels on the bus to fall off, meaning that regaining control of the bus was impossible. This was even worse than usual, because they were headed towards a giant cliff.
As Chef and Chris watched from the helicopter, Chris pulled out a giant pack of legal forms.
"Total Drama Inc. is not responsible for the sudden and brutal demise of their cast," he said quickly.
"Told you those would come in handy," Chef chuckled.
"We're going to die!" D.J. screamed, as the bus went over the edge.
"So Noah was Chris's assistant," Izzy finally realized, as Max slapped his forehead.
The bus plummeted down the canyon, gaining speed as they almost hit the floor of the canyon. Just as they were about to crash, they stopped. Everyone looked at one another for a second.
"Huh," Izzy giggled, "Out of gas."
"It doesn't work like that," Neil moaned, trying to wiggle out from under Owen, who had landed on him. Then, they began to feel the bus being lifted upward; they all looked up to see what had saved them.
"I hope Leshawna doesn't need her bra back," Gwen moaned, as the continued to fly into the sky. Before long, they were experiencing zero gravity, causing them all to float throughout the cabin.
"Being weightless is awesome!" Owen giggled.
"I feel like this all the time," Izzy cackled.
"I bet you do," Max said, when suddenly a pile of vomit hit him in the face.
"Who did that!" Momma D.J. asked in irritation.
"I couldn't hold it any more," Beth explained, when suddenly, they began to fall again. This time, they were caught again near the bottom by the bra. Duncan skillfully climbed up the seat to the back door, and cut the over stretched piece of underwear. This caused the bus to finally land, before turning over and landing on its roof.
"I'm alive!" Owen shouted, getting up, "I'm alive!"
Noah, who had replaced Neil at the position under Owen, could not say the same thing. His body had been crushed when they had landed.
"Hm," Chef said with amazement, "they're not dead."
"Yeah," Chris admitted, "But they could be hurt."
"Should we send for some help?" Chef asked.
Two seconds later, they both burst out laughing, flying away from the crash sight.
Back on the ground, the cast members had all escaped the downed bus. Geoff looked around, peeved at the situation.
"I came here to party," Geoff explained, "And this place is seriously lacking the partying vibe. I'm going to go get help!"
Geoff plus Trent, Justin, Beth, Eva, Katie, Sadie, and Momma DJ all went to go look for help while everyone else stayed in the canyon. David, being the good Samaritan that he was, didn't want these teenagers going out in hot baking desert without any adult supervision, decided to go with them as well.
"I'm sure that Chris saw what happened, and is sending someone to rescue us, as we speak," Max said with confidence. The cast members just looked at one another for a moment.
"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" they roared, holding their sides.
"He hasn't watched the show," Gwen asked Neil, "Has he?"
"Nope," the boy said, "But he does bring up a good point. It is safer for us to just stay here, so no one should go out on a rescue party."
"So," Max said as he looked around, becoming annoyed, "Are we really in New York, because I don't ever remember New York State having a desert."
"Don't blame me," Courtney growled, "I was just following the dirt bag bus!"
It had already been a whole day since the bus had crashed into canyon. They had all slept over night, and attempted to rest. Many were getting agitated, and since it had been a day since Owen's last meal, no one liked the look he was giving them. Suddenly, a wonderful smell overcame them, and they were D.J. cooking a bowl of something.
"Alright," Owen shouted, "Time for some grub!"
"It's made from tumble weed," D.J. explained, as he poured some into Owen's mouth. This caused the fat boy to cringe.
"You don't like it?"
"No, no," Owen said, before vomiting back into the pan.
"I would kill for a hamburger right now," Max moaned.
Suddenly, they heard the sound of a chopper, and turned up into the sky, to see Chris and Chef lowering a giant magnet onto the bus. As it clinked to the bus, lifting it several feet off the ground, the group cheered.
"I'm not called the best reality host ever for nothing!" Chris declared, as they began to board the bus. As soon as everyone had loaded up, the bus was lifted out of the canyon, and into the wild blue yonder.
After three hours of flying, they had landed at the set of Total Drama Action. They were sitting in the mess tent along with the Dirtbag contestants, waiting for Chris to explain what was going on. Suddenly, Alejandro came out, and placed a giant plate of pancakes on the table, which were all gobbled up by the delicious food stuffs.
"I have an announcement to make;" Chris said, "Now we all know that no one does drama like you guys."
"Duh," Heather shouted, "But what happened to Total Drama Dirt Bags?"
"It was a trick!" they all turned to see Alejandro seething, "There never was a Total Drama Dirt Bags!"
"This douchebag lied to us!" said the boy with the blue skull cap whose name was revealed to be Stan.
"It was all a plan to get you guys back on the show!" exclaimed the dog whose name was Brian.
"Is that true?" Heather then asked the host.
"Well mostly," Chris said, "I did come up with the name."
"The name was awful!" Max shouted.
"Quiet you!" Chris then turned back to the rest of the cast, "I needed to find out if you kids still had it."
"What about Alejandro?" Gwen asked irritably.
"A dupe, just like the rest of you," Chris said, while noggying the Goth, "I needed someone on the inside. But, to make it up, I told him he and the other Dirtbag competitors could join you all on season three."
"What season three?" Noah asked.
"A race around the world in one giant jet," Chris laughed.
"After all the crap you have put us through," Gwen said with irritation, "What makes you think we'll come along for another season."
"What about five million dollars?"
The entire group cheered, until they heard a cough. Max was standing next to the exit o the tent.
"Okay guys," Max said, referencing his friends, "time to go."
"What," Nikki asked, "Why?"
"We can't go," Max pointed out, "We have no contracts, no way to tell our parents where the hell we are, not that mine give a shit anyway, and we will probably not win, thus meaning we will humiliate ourselves for nothing. Besides," he looked down in anger, "We still need to find a way to fix the car."
"How about this," Chris said, "If you go, we will contact your parents, and fix your car."
"Come on Max," Neil said.
"Please," Nikki said while getting big Bambi eyes. This finally melted his stance, and he sighed.
"Fine," he said to his friends, "We can play."
"Hell yeah!" Neil and Nikii shouted.
Neil: Alright, I have a chance to win five million dollars! And don't worry my fellow men of science, I will dominate this game, and use that money for something useful. Like college…or Notre Dame season tickets.
Peter: Uh…so what show is this again?
Ed: Butter Toast!
Harold and Leshawna: (Harold puts his arm around her) get your hands off of me! (She shoves Harold to the floor.)
Harold: I thought we can form an alliance, check it! (He then beatboxes)
Stan: I got the feeling that signing up for this show was the biggest mistake I've ever made.
Double D: Oh dear. I'm not so sure about entering this contest.
Brian: A million dollars does buy a lot of beer.
Riley: What's up my n*bleep* s!
Stewie: Winning this contest will finally achieve my plans for world domination.
Eddy: Five million dollars, here I come!
Bridgette: (crying)I miss you already Geoff, wait for me shmoopy-boo, I'll win it for both of us! (Continues crying)
Master Shake: This game is mine losers!
Meatwad: I don't get it, what I'm supposed to confess about?
Frylock: This was a mistake, I just know it.
Homer: WOO-HOO! I can't wait to eat all that exotic food!
Gwen: You know what they say, third time lucky! This could be my season,
Duncan: Hey I'm game, bring it Chris!
Bender: I'm gonna win this meatbags!
Cartman: These assholes won't stand a chance against me.
Huey: Why did Granddad make us sign up for this show again?
Nikki: Oh yeah! A new adventure!
Alejandro: Watch out Total Drama Nerds, (he points to himself) the new guy is going all the way to the top.
(Suddenly, the door opens)
Max: (Outside) Excuse me, were you the one who ran over our car?
Alejandro: Yeah?
(A baseball bat suddenly swings down and hits him on the head)
Max: (Sitting in front, with an unconscious Al sitting propped up against the wall.) That is what happens when you piss me off. (Turns back, and his eye's widen when he sees the camera) Oh crap, they were filming this! I really need to watch the first two seasons. But there is one thing that this asshole over here said right, a new guy is going to the top, but that new guy is me!
Chris was walking next to a large plane, one twice the size of a normal plane. Not only did it appear to be in bad shape, but it also had Chris's portrait on the side.
"Fifty-two contestants," Chris began, "A trip around the world for five million dollars. What else could you ask for?"
"How about music?" Chef asked, dressed in a flight attendant's outfit.
"Yeah," Chris thought, "Everybody is doing the music thing now."
"Yeah!" they heard Max shout, "And suck at it! Damn you Zach Effron!"
"Sure, and music," Chris said happily, "see you next time on Total Drama: The Musical!"
"That name sucks balls!"
"Quiet you!" Chris shouted, "Okay, how about Total Drama World Tour!"
"Better!"
"Everybody's a critic," Chris said, as the screen faded.
AN: Well here it is the end of part one and it's only the beginning. I plan to make many changes throughout the season and it will affect how it ends. I'll try to keep the characters in character as much as I can. I hope you all have enjoyed this story as much as I have. I hope you realize that the added campers mean more places to stop, so please also look forward to such locations as India…Brazil…and even Area 51. Also I like to point out that "Eminence" is not an OC, but he is from a certain cartoon. Can you guess what it is?
Until next time, sayonara!