Listen to PXL8 - Kirby: 0² (Zero-Two) while reading.
People left in solitude for too long often experience the following symptoms: weight loss, insomnia, lethargy. Less commonly, people experience hallucinations... Gijinka AU (because that's the only thing I'm somewhat competent at writing.
CHAPTER X.
"...I...I exist?"
I look out to the empty, vast, expanse. It's quiet, silent, still, whatever you wish to call it. It may not look like it at a first glance...But I was just born. What am I? I don't know yet. Why can I formulate my own thoughts and display sentience? That remains to be seen. All I know is that I'm incredibly intelligent, and I am all by myself. It doesn't suck. I have all the time in the world to think to myself.
I quickly learn how to properly use my body. I can create things...I can give them life too. One would think that with these convenient skills I should do something. So I do. I create beings that look like me. A bit vain and narcissistic, but I find it a good way to occupy my time.
The first one turns out all wrong, however. It's all black and has weird yellow rounded blobs jutting out. I discern the gender of my creation to be female. She blinks at me too, once, twice. She, no, it is nowhere as flawless as me. I prepare to dispose of it, but before I could commit to the deed, it's eye curled up as it gurgled happily.
"...H-Hello!"
I hesitate. It has displayed a capability to speak. Perhaps...There was something salvageable from it. Wait, what is this feeling welling up within me? Is this...an emotion? In a sudden twist, I decide to not only to let it live, but also let it serve under me. I will allow it to grow up besides me, while trying to perfect my ability to create. I liken myself to a king, or even perhaps a god who presides over this grand and empty domain.
"Hello...Child. I will hereby watch over you."
"...Because we're a team?"
"No...You're my underli-"
"Partner! We'll be partners forever!"
The little lout dared compare itself to me? It, who had but a fraction of my power? I'd crush the imbecile...If it wasn't for the innocence and naïveté.
"Fine. We'll become these so called partners…"
I draw out the last word especially slowly to express my distaste. She does not take notice, instead happily humming to herself and looking around. Partners...Didn't that mean we were friends? I speak out loud to myself as I begin moving forward, my companion trailing behind.
"Friends…Huh."
It was a good thing my emotions were easy to hide, otherwise I think the little runt would get giddy over seeing the edge of my mouth curl upwards.
CHAPTER IX.
Another failure. And another one. I watch one after another scurry off to populate this world. I sigh and bang my head against the wall of my laboratory. Why can't I make anything look like me? What had initially started as a fun time waster had evolved into an obsession. Was I this inept?
"Why don't you take a break?"
"Let me try one last time."
"You said that ten days ago."
"Well, it just so happened it took ten days to try."
"That doesn't account for, how many, 24,001,495 me's out there."
Sighing, I decided, completely by my own judgement mind you, that perhaps a breather would be best. I glance over at my…"buddy". A good amount of time has passed since both of our initial conceptions. I've populated the world with a bunch of failures, and frankly, just seeing those failures makes my face heat up in embarrassment...That is, with the exception of my first one. I've decided to name them Dark Matter, for the sake of naming. I've also created a very loose structure for civilization and other basic conventions such as measurements. It should be enough for now.
"Hey, let's play a game!"
I stare at my companion, who latched onto my arm and began dragging me away. Leading me towards a group of Dark Matter, I prompted a query.
"What is a game?"
I had never played a game, and I certainly didn't intend to.
"Don't sweat it, you'll enjoy it!"
"I appreciate your offer but-"
"Indulge in me or I won't talk to you for ten days!"
"..."
I arched my brow and examined her pouting expression.
"...You made me wait that long!""
Well, look at the cute little thing trying to coerce me. Well…
"Alright, fine."
It...It worked.
"I'm going to hide in this group. You have to find me among all of them~"
I watch the blobs converge on my servant, run around a bit, and then disperse. They line up, creating a row of black blobs. Each one looks exactly identical, and I begin to feel increasingly irritated.
"I give up!"
"You're not allowed to give up!"
I whirl around, smirking at the one who spoke.
"Aha, it's you!"
"No, it isn't."
Taken aback, I search through the masses to find the right one, but to no avail. After what seems to be a very long time one of them begins to shudder quietly. I quietly make my way to that one, and I nod.
"It's this one, isn't it."
"Ah, you found me!"
It had taken a while, but I was at last victorious. The Dark Matter around me begin jumping around joyously, as if celebrating. This feeling of euphoria isn't so bad to experience every once in awhile. However, one thing kept nagging my mind. Her facial expression had not improved. Instead, it had seemed to have gotten worse.
"It took you so long to find me! I thought we were partners!"
I had been confounded by that as well. They simply all looked way too alike. Why did they all turn out the same? Were they not failures...But instead…
"Hey, I know what you're thinking. Maybe what you consider to be your weakness might in fact be your strength. You ever think of that?"
"...No...I haven't. That's strangely...Perceptive of you."
"...We should go have fun every now and then."
"...Maybe. But for now, I'm going to find a way to distinguish you from the others."
My underling...No, my friend, chortles. Her eyes seem to sparkle, as if she knew an inside joke.
"I'll always be able to find you, it's only natural you can do the same for me."
"...It's not hard to distinguish me from the others."
She smiled, and the others around us looked on, perplexed at our banter.
CHAPTER VIII.
I open my eyes. The sky above is dark as usual, with dimly lit stars oscillating every now and then. I make to get up, but a foreign object pushes up against me. Looking to my side, I see that my companion clad in a visor, robes, a necklace, and a scarf has snuggled up against me. Registering this, I suddenly realize the enormity of the current situation. Physical interaction? With me? I make quick plans to get up, but before I can execute them, the sleeping swordswoman murmurs in her sleep, and nuzzled my body.
Try as I may, I cannot seem to get away without disturbing its rest. Resigned, I slowly come to accept it. Wait a minute...Accept it? What a preposterous notion. Why should I accept something that my...My friend has burdened me with? Could it be that…
"I'm changing."
The words are lost to the wind, carried away to the skies, to the stars above. Ever since I brought life into this planet, I've found that there's so much more than just looking out for myself. The others around me, though they all look identical, have developed their own individuality, have built incredible bonds, even have begun thinking for themselves. Even this little one, this one has shown a knack for fighting, and has shown more devotion and loyalty to me than any other all the while maintaining a sense of wit around me. How could somebody like me have created such a flawed yet flawless being?
Lost in my own ponderings, I had not noticed that she had awoken, and was staring up to me. She gave a light chuckle, to which I respond with the same. As I turn my head up, I realize that for some reason the stars seem to shine a bit brighter.
CHAPTER VII.
"Lord Zero, we've made quite a startling discovery."
I cock my head to the side, my interested piqued.
"What seems to be the matter, Dark Matter #03-15-18-14?"
"After extensive research, we've figured out that there are other life forms in this universe who happen to be very close by."
I cock my head to the side, tapping my foot and thinking.
"What are you suggesting?"
"I suggest we make contact with them, perhaps establish friendly relations?"
I nod slowly. It sounded like a good plan.
"Sounds solid. I'll bring a team of Dark Matter to accompany me. Thank you for your work."
"As you wish, Lord Zero."
I leave the premise, in search of something. Minutes later, I find it. It seems my partner was doing something on the ground. I sneak up from behind and proceed to ask a question while poking her back playfully.
"What are you up to?"
She almost fell forward, and looked at me.
"Look what I found!"
I look at what she has cupped in her hands, and instantly recoil. On inspection, it was some kind of lifeform. It was very small, had wings that looked frail and brittle, and had two long, droopy antennas.
"W-What is that...thing?"
"I discovered it! I'm going to name it… Bronto Burt!"
"What kind of name is th-Nevermind, listen here."
I shoo away the insect, much to her dismay.
"Listen, we're going to go on an expedition out there, to the stars, to meet others. I'm going to bring you with me, alright?"
"..."
She doesn't answer immediately. For the first time since meeting her, she seems to hold reservations.
"Hey, what's wrong?"
"Listen...I don't think this is a good idea."
"And why not?"
It's hard to conceal my agitation, but i do my best.
"They...We might not be well received. They might be really different."
"How would you know that? You've never been out there, much less taken an interest!"
"Because you've never been there either! You made me, and you made all of us! What's to say that the creatures out there aren't different? What if they're different colors? What if they're much smaller or bigger? I've thought about this before...I just...I don't know what to do if something went wrong."
I stood there, speechless. It was hard to retaliate, with her standing there, seeming so exposed. No...What was this stupid emotion? I don't need some inferior being telling me what to do!
"If I say it's a good idea, it is, alright? Come on!"
"No!"
"Why not?"
"You already asked that! I don't want to go!"
"We can make a difference though!"
"No means no, now stop it right now!"
My chest started tightening, and I felt something hot boiling within me. This emotion hurts, it hurts so much. Terminate it, begone! I don't need this emotion. Something hot slides down my cheek.
"Why...You! Fine! I'll go without you! I don't need you!"
"Fine! Go yourself, idiot! See if I care!"
I swivel around, and make a dash for the opposite direction. I run until I feel like I reached the other side of the planet. To my right, I see another one of those puny insects flutter by my peripheral vision. Without hesitation, I crush it with my hand. I run back the conversation in my head, and realize that for the first time, we were yelling at each other, and even insulted each other. This wasn't happiness, or pride, or contentment. This was something foreign...Something nasty growing within me. They must call this anger. Watching a pale green pus dribble down my clenched fist, I strengthen my resolve. I would go without her.
Chapter VI.
How did this all go wrong? I watch another one of my precious Dark Matter get vaporized by a beam. The origin? The inhabitants called it a clockwork star. Damn them, how could they destroy my precious work like that? How did all of this fall apart?
When we had made contact, it all seemed fine at first. They had seemed to accept our negotiations, and even let us touch the surface. Was that all a ploy? It must have been, considering they then proceeded to jump us and fire these damned shiny creatures at us without so much as a word.
I fire shards towards the weapons to draw their attention to me. It's just about as good as throwing a pebble at a giant wall. I resort to smashing myself into them between the intervals where they fire beams, sending some out of orbit to god knows where. Something burning suddenly hits me from behind. Was this another emotion? No...This was actual, physical pain. I screech in pain, and double over. In agony, I try my best to assess the damage, but to no avail. Was this the end? I should have listened…
In front of me, each clockwork stars suddenly separates into two, exploding shortly after. In front of the explosions, a single silhouette was on its knees. I slowly crawl towards it, each movement sending a new burning sensation coursing through my body. I finally reached her, barely catching her as she collapsed into my arms. All around us, fighting raged on. She rasped weakly.
"I got worried..."
I restrain myself from freaking out. She came for something so simple? I was about to berate her, but she continued on.
"...I'm...I'm sorry."
My mouth gapes open slightly. Why was she apologizing?
"The fight was stupid. I should have gone with you. This wouldn't have happened otherwise. I suppose bringing everybody to help should do for an apology."
"You didn't have to apologize. We need to get you patched up."
"I don't think I'm going to make it."
"You can't be serious, You look perfectly fi-"
My eyes trail down to her abdomen, where a giant gaping hole existed where something should have been there.
"You can't be serious…"
She closed her eyes.
"Hey...I hate it when you make that look. Come on...It's not like I'm not unreplaceable."
I struggle to clear this lump in my throat. I want to tell her that she's wrong, that I could never replace anyone who's met their doom today because of me. Slowly, black particles begin detaching themselves from her, rising into the air and turning white. She seems to accept it, and gives me a forlorn smile.
"Haha...I'm afraid I won't be able to return...with you..."
I grit my teeth. What the hell?
"You're not allowed to leave me! I forbid you! We're a team, remember? Have you lost your head?"
"It's a promise...I won't be able to keep."
"...You're really...You're really done for, aren't you."
"It's strange...I don't want to sacrifice my life like this. I want to just...Spend more time with you, you know? Get to know you a little better…Forget about it. Forget about me, and live."
"I can't forget about you. I won't forget about you. It was supposed to be you and me, me and you, partners in crime and everything. You shouldn't apologize, you shouldn't feel guilty at all! It's all my fault...Please…Don't go…"
I realize at that moment I was talking to thin air. All that was left in my arms were the garments she had worn, and her blade. My chest tightens, but this kind of emotion isn't anger. I feel much more empty. Again, something warm drips down from my eyes, but this time I can't control it. My nose congests, and my vision blurs. And I cry, bawl amidst the chaos, clutching the meager rags at the loss of my compatriot. I don't stop crying until my tear ducts shrivel away, and my tears are replaced with blood from the veins in my bloodshot eyes.
That day, I drove The Ancients extinct.
CHAPTER V.
Emotions, what are they good for? They give me the most blissful pleasure, yet also give me the most agonizing torture.
"Lord Zero, a moment of your time?"
It was probably another report of a successful conquest. I decide to carry out the ritual, making my way to whichever puny Dark Matter dared to disturb my thoughts.
"Alright, what's the deal? Make it brief."
"Yes sir. We've subjugated the…"
I tune out the incessant droning. Life was miserably dull. Every day was spent in monochrome black and white. Ever since I lost her, I've been dulled to everything. I have not built, nor have I bothered regulating order. Frankly, my subjects organize themselves, there's no need for me. Not a day goes by where I wonder perhaps I should stop bothering with existing.
"And that ends the report."
I wave off the Dark Matter.
"Yes, yes, thanks."
A strange, yet not completely foreign thought pops into my head. Why don't I just make another one? I could just make it in her likeness. She might not be the same, but perhaps I could move on. But then, it felt wrong.
I soon found myself back in my laboratory, now decrepit from disuse. Her belongings gathered behind me on a table, I prepare myself. I had not created Dark Matter in a while, and needed to brush up.
Then she was done. She looked exactly the same in every way. She was perfect. I smile, and greet her.
"You're back!"
"Greetings."
My smile falters. Only too late did I realize the error of my ways. We didn't share memories, nor did we have anything in common anymore. She wasn't the swordswoman I knew, she was completely different. And it was completely unfair for me to try and impose myself on this new youngling.
"Ah...Yes...Excuse me. You're free to do whatever you want."
I leave the laboratory, clutching my chest. These emotions...I've decided. They're good for nothing. They only impeded progress. I don't need friends...I don't need a partner. I don't need emotions. I will cease feeling these emotions. I will damn them, and I will meet these ends, even if it means tearing my heart out.
CHAPTER IV.
"How goes the subjugation of Popstar?"
"I'm afraid we're going through some difficulties, Lord Zero."
I look down at the swordswoman, kneeling respectfully towards me. She had taken the garments the previous one had and used it for herself. I did not say anything against it, but every time I saw her something twisted in my gut.
"What seems to be the issue?"
"We've met with an adversary whose strength is not to be underestimated. Defining physical traits include a small stature, a large mouth, a pink complexion, and an amoebic form of a body shape. The residents call him Kirby."
"Exterminate him. Got it?"
"Yes, Lord Zero."
With that, she left. I turn around, examining a map of the galaxy. When I looked back, perhaps my conquests had an underlying reason. I hated places that exuded positive thoughts. Why did they have that, yet I couldn't? But...This reason had been lost in the translation the moment I forsake my own thoughts. I still pursued the quest for domination, however. Nothing could stop me. But even with all this power...I felt incredibly lonely. There was a glaringly obvious hole in me, no matter how much I tried to ignore it. I was lonely without her. Nothing could satisfy me, and I'll suffer endlessly.
This was why I have to be alone.
In darkness…they denied my happiness.
And now I shall return the world to zero, to nothing.
Because if I cannot feel joy…
No one ever will.
CHAPTER III.
I throw waves after wave to exterminate the puny pink ball. My breath is ragged, and my energy is near depletion. So this was the monster that had slain her doppelganger. How could something so innocent...How could something so pure...Defeat me? Deep down, something dark terrifies me. I knew why he was this powerful...I just didn't want to admit it. It was something more sinister than I could ever hope to be.
I cry out in agony as a barrage of hearts rip into my flesh, causing blood to pour out. In a desperate counter attack, I fling the gore in front of me to serve as a smokescreen. But it's useless. He barrels through the layer practically untouched. His brilliance was blinding. With a swift lunge, he jabs the end of the accursed stick into my eye, and mercilessly wrenches it deep.
"Aa-!"
I feel him pull out his weapon along with my eye as I screamed. I clutch where emptiness now replaced where my eye should be. With my other eye, I take a glance towards the wretched creature crushing my eye. To have such conviction combined with that purity...It was dangerous indeed.
Swinging back, he bludgeoned me over the head. I begin losing altitude rapidly, the clouds parting ways as if to say they were unwilling to cushion my fall.
As I went, every second seemed to grow longer as I got closer to the ground.
It gave me a lot of time to think about all the events that made my life.
And a lot of time to feel my body cripple as I hit the bottom..
But for some reason I was...Happy in a sense.
After all, I get to stopped suffering.
…
He kind of reminded me of someone.
CHAPTER II.
"..."
"..."
"..."
"So...Will you open your eye?"
"Don't you mean eyes?"
"You're missing one, silly."
"Fair point, you got me."
"Of course! I notice all the little details. Honestly, where would you be without me?"
That was enough to rouse my suspicions. I crack open an eye.
"...Is that you?"
In front of me she sat on her knees, dressed in her garments. Her sword laid by her side, sheathed. With a small tilt of the head, she gave a small smile.
"I wonder, is it-"
I cut her off, wrapping my arms and pulling tight. Even though she squirms and tries to push me off, I hold her there.
"Hey, what's the sudden change in attitude?"
"I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry…"
I couldn't help but think I was fortunate enough to see her one last time at that moment. It was too good to be true. But it was a short lived moment. She pries my arms off of her and looks at me sternly.
"Listen, I need to tell you something important. You're not dead."
"I...I'm what? Then how could I be able...Able to meet you?"
She cracked a grin.
"What do you mean? I never left you to begin with."
"B-But…"
She punched me in the chest.
"I'm right here. You made me, remember? I'm literally a part of you! And not just that…"
I stood there awestruck. Of course I never thought of that. Then again, she always pointed out those small nuances to me.
"Also...We're connected by more than just physically. We've got these things called memories, no?"
"...Please don't…Stop…"
"Why?"
"These memories...these feelings are the reason for the demise of fools. And a fitting end...Those who feel emotions deserve to kick the bucket."
"So...You're saying that my death was inevitable?"
"..."
"...Zero. Do you feel guilty?"
"..."
"I never blamed you, you know."
"..."
"It's okay to have emotions. It means you're alive, no?"
"I-I just…"
This time she laces her fingers into my hair and brings me down into her lap, stroking the side of my face gently.
"You've worked hard, huh?"
"...Yeah, but you probably have an idea...Since you're a part of me."
"Aw, you're no fun."
But she smiled and brought her forehead to my bloody eye. A warm feeling rushes to my cheeks and forehead, but it's gone as soon as she distances herself. As I watch her look at me, I notice she had one eye closed. With her thumbs, she slowly closed my eyelids.
"Goodbye, Zero."
"See you later."
And I'm awake, my eyes looking up to the stars. I bring up a hand to my face. My eye had regenerated. A miracle? I doubt it. I instinctively stretch out my wings. Wait, wings? I had sharp white and red blades jutting out of my back, but not physically attached. Above my head a halo encircles it. It feels light, just like the inside of my head. My stomach felt like it held weights inside. This feeling...What was it? It wasn't something as awesome as happiness nor something as devastating as anger. It was a bittersweet feeling. To be denied what I wanted most...
So this was true suffering.
CHAPTER I.
As I sat on a pile of debris, I gingerly touch my bandaged eye. Even though it worked, I wanted to keep it in good condition. A throbbing sensation was taking over it. I knew that this respite of mine won't last long. It looks like my final battle was almost upon me. And I know he's coming to take me down.
Sometimes I wonder if all of this was just a hallucination of my imagination. Did I really leave such a large mark on this galaxy? Why was I even conceived? How was I even conceived? Did I even exist to begin with? Questions like this tormented me every day. Was I really this powerful? Honestly, with a gift like this...I could have done anything I wanted. So why didn't I?
I know it was because of her.
But was she even real to begin with? What if I'm absolutely delusional? Did I even really talk to her in death? Did she even die? Was I really just hugging thin air? How could a Dark Matter develop so much character, so much individuality? Why was she so different? Maybe it was because she never existed at all in the first place. I can't even remember her voice or her smile…
I know it doesn't matter either way.
I'll find out when I cross to the other side.
Here he comes now, accompanied by a fairy.
"Ah, so you've made it."
"You'll release me from this nightmare, won't you?"
He says nothing, but brandishes his gun and points the barrel at me.
I spend the next couple of hours having my eye repeatedly gouged out. I fight as hard as I can, but I know he's impossible to overcome.
Maybe he's also some kind of figment of my imagination as well.
Stab.
I mean, how can something so cute and puny beat me?
Stab.
I don't care if I'm delusional, narcotic, or crazy..
Stab.
Pain is only temporary...I can be imagining it.
Stab.
It's a construct, just like society.
Stab.
I'll...I'll see her again…
Stab.
...Right?
Stab.
CHAPTER ?.
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ZERO
I walk endlessly, searching.
In the distance, a black speck taunts me.
She calls to me, ridiculing me with her voice.
It is playful, mischievous, beckoning me nearer.
The question is, was that also all a conjuration of my imagination?
An imagination that most likely does not exist anymore?
The figure in the distance smiles, and I return it hesitantly.
What does it matter if it had actually happened?
It was my reality, and real to me.
And that would be enough.
Author's Notes:
Romans did not have an actual symbol for zero. They did however use the concept of "zero" through "nulla", which means "none".
He breaks the fourth wall, as he narrates in the last chapter "ZERO".
Reading it last chapter to first chapter doesn't make sense. (MAY CHANGE)
I'll probably write up a more polished version, as I suck ass at writing.
I contemplated shipping, figured to keep it platonic in the end.
The question of whether it was actually all an illusion is unanswerable.