Thanks Given
by firesideteller
Note: What if Tessa had cornered Mariah when she and Noah brought Faith over on Thanksgiving? (Spoilers for all episodes up to 11-22-17.)
But rather reason thus with reason fetter,
Love sought is good, but given unsought better. - Twelfth Night
Noah: Hey, kiddo, I was about to come looking for you. Tessa and I, we're supposed to take Faith over to her mom's house.
Tessa: Are you guys ready to head out?
A quiet Thanksgiving at the ranch was just what Mariah needed. Sharon looked at her daughter as Mariah squeezed out the sponge and put the last of the dishes away. Her daughter's eyes were shrouded in heartbreak—a look Sharon knew too well. But Sharon also knew that, in time, the shadows would diminish. She was immeasurably proud of Mariah for finally living her truth. It would be hard it first, but it would get easier.
"Are we having a moment right now? You're looking at me like I'm a prize-winning pie at the fair."
Sharon smiled. Mariah had a direct but charming way of saying how she felt.
"I was just thinking about mom stuff. It's not important. Speaking of pie, do you think the pumpkin pie is finally cool enough to cut?"
"I hope so, because I love me some pumpkin pie."
Sharon brought the dish over and motioned with her head for Mariah to bring the dessert plates to the table. "Grab an extra," Sharon reminded her, thinking that Faith would be here soon, and just then there was a knock on the door.
"Happy Thanksgiving!" Noah shouted as Sharon opened the door. "Hey, you guys," Sharon said, walking over. She had thought that Scott would be the one bringing Faith over. "Noah," she added as she kissed him on the cheek. She smiled at Tessa, who she noted was standing a little farther back than necessary. Sharon didn't want to be unkind to her. "Hey, Tessa. Come on in. Mariah, why don't you get some more pla—" she started, but stopped. Mariah was no where to be found. Guess Mariah thought Scott would be the one bringing Faith over too.
"Is that your incredible pumpkin pie, mom?" Noah asked.
"Yes it is and I think that means that you want some."
"Why don't we take a couple of slices and give you and Faith some mother-daughter time?" Tessa suggested.
"Nonsense," Sharon answered automatically. "There is plenty for everyone. Why don't you sit?" She knew it was awkward for Mariah to have Tessa there with Noah, but Tessa had been through so much. And Sharon didn't want Tessa to think she wasn't welcome in her home.
"If you insist," Noah grinned.
"I do." Sharon busied herself setting out extra plates and chatting with Faith about dinner at Faith's grandparents. Noah cheerfully described the food and conversation they'd had earlier and explained that Scott had stayed but promised to call. Tessa looked at the hallway leading up to the second floor, where she assumed Mariah had gone.
"I'll be right back," Tessa said, starting for the hallway. Noah and Faith kept chatting, but Sharon tuned them out as she watched Tessa's retreating back. Look out, Mariah, she thought to herself. Noah too, for that matter. Sometimes it was really hard being a mom. But her children were adults and could handle their own lives. She turned back to cut the pie.
Tessa knew it was risky to go find Mariah. The last conversation they had had did not go well; Mariah had been icy cold to her in Crimson Lights about breaking up with Devon. Tessa had tried to talk to Devon about it, but he hadn't been too interested in saying much. She had to know what Mariah had told him. At least, that's what she told herself.
"Hey," Tessa said, spotting Mariah sitting at the desk in her room.
"What are you doing here? You don't live here any more," Mariah spat. Tessa took a deep breath and froze in the doorway, but didn't leave. She deserved that. "I heard from Devon that you and he broke up. I wanted to know how you are doing."
"You wanted to know if I told him anything about you and me," Mariah corrected. "Well I didn't. Your secret's safe with me," she laughed sarcastically. "Now go back to dessert."
Tessa squared her shoulders and prepared for the worst. "No." She saw Mariah close her eyes and turn away, but took her chances anyway. "Mariah. It's Thanksgiving. And I don't want you to think that I'm not thankful for how honest you've been with me."
Mariah's eyes welled up but she didn't say anything. Tessa took that as a sign to continue. She took a few steps into the room. "You asked me if the kiss in San Francisco meant something to me. I told you that it was wonderful. And I haven't been able to stop thinking about it since you brought it up again at Halloween."
Mariah's tears were falling openly now. If Tessa was about to break her heart again, she thought to herself, so help me….
Tessa took a few more steps until she was close enough to put her hand on Mariah's shoulder. Mariah shrugged her hand off and stood up to get away. "Please, wait," Tessa pleaded, stopping Mariah with her voice. "Can you just stand still?"
Mariah was shaking, but didn't move away. And then Tessa was kissing her—right there, in her house, like Mariah dreamt she would the whole time Tessa was living at her mom's. Tessa's hands were woven into her hair, lifting her head to bring her closer, and they were kissing. Mariah wasn't sure if she could breathe or stand on her own. Tessa seemed to know and was holding her up, and Mariah felt so safe and so warm and so loved. And she didn't understand.
Tessa pulled back for a moment to look at Mariah's face. The coldness in Mariah's eyes had melted. She looked at Tessa so earnestly, so unguarded, that Tessa couldn't help but smile, relieved. "My past be damned," Tessa whispered, looking at Mariah's eyes and lips. "We have both done things we aren't proud of, whatever we had to do to survive. But the worst thing I have ever done is to make you feel like you don't deserve to be loved. No one should make you feel like you're their second choice." Hearing her say that again brought Mariah back to the moment she first realized she was falling. For a woman. For this woman. In an instant, she relived that moment, and all of their memories, all over again.
"You mean that?" Mariah finally heard herself say, as if from far away. Mariah dared to smile through her tears. "Be with me?"
Tessa's answer was another kiss that made Mariah doubt her ability to stand.
END