No one understood how he felt, how, even now when his brother and sisters had got good jobs, why he still studied at 23, earning in the meantime to pay for his degree by cleaning, café work and the millions of bawling, puking babies he had sat to earn enough. They had forgotten, as they grew older and hardworking: Peter, so serious that he was the finest Met. Police Inspector that they had seen for a long while. Susan, so high in society (well, modelling society), Lucy, the youngest who had just finished her course to become a nurse. She would be good at that he thought- she was caring and cheerful, and always had a kind word and a shoulder for everyone.
He was too busy studying to go to their birthdays, too busy fighting for the underdog in that case, that he didn't go to Susan's wedding. She said it didn't matter, but he could see the hurt in her eyes as she told him of her honeymoon.
He couldn't begin to explain to them how their visit (more like lifetime) in Narnia had affected him, how the fact that he betrayed them and Aslan and was forgiven made him so determined that other people should get that chance. How being a king had made him more responsible for others and himself. How, when they left he felt that they could never go back, and when they did, was overshadowed by his brother and sisters, like he was in real life. How he learnt to care for others, and when he finally managed to use that in this world, he had been deserted by them, and when he became a lawyer, they had left him to celebrate on his own. Even when he sent them all a telegram saying he now had his own offices; only the professor had sent a brief one back, saying "congratulations".
They didn't want to notice him anymore, as they were so wrapped up in their own life, that they had completely forgotten that he existed.
Why couldn't he be noticed and valued by them, noticed for him and not their deeds?
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It was Christmas. Rain was sleeting down the windows of the professors house (well, it was England), where the entire Pevensie household was gathered ever since the war, which still affected people. Their father for example, now had a permanent limp from the wounds gained in the D-Day assault in Normandy nine years before. All of them that is, except for Edmund. The same it had been for the Christmases of the three years before, just a pile of presents with a note on how he was doing as a lawyer and wishing them a happy Christmas. Happy Christmas! How were they supposed to have a happy Christmas when he wasn't there? When he ignored them as he had done for the last three years, their weddings, Susan's twins' christening, birthdays, while he was studying, or fighting for people who weren't his family? How the fact that they read about him and his cases in the newspaper made it harder to accept the fact that he never talked to or saw them anymore …
It was subdued in the sitting room, the twins were falling asleep by the pile of wrappings from the presents, Peter, his father and the professor were by the fire in the overstuffed chairs discussing the rugby a week ago. Susan, Lucy and their mother were discussing how nice Bing Crosby's singing was, and when they had heard for the first time, Susan was off to America. Just as the climax of "White Christmas" was coming up on the wireless, there was a quiet knocking on the front door, which was just heard by Lucy, as she was nearer the door. She got up, stepping over the twins and the wrapping paper, and made her way through the hall, stopping briefly to check that her hair was pulled back into her neat bun, and that her dress was non-creased in the mirror that had held her attention the first time she had seen it, when her brothers and sister first arrived when they were evacuated. She unbolted the door, and then stared in shock as she looked at the stranger who stood in front, ginger hair flopping over his brown eyes, hands shoved into a dripping greatcoat. Then to the stranger's amazement, she jumped him. As he staggered under the shock, she yelled at the top of her voice while hugging the stranger so fierce he feared that he would lose consciousness: " He's here! He came! Oh God! Edmund's here!"
In the sitting room, Peter and everyone heard these cries, and everyone else stormed to meet Edmund, even the professor hobbling slightly on his stick, while Peter sat there in shock. "He came?"
As Edmund stepped into the room, greatcoat hung up in the hall, tie and shirt slightly crumpled from the many hugs he had been given, he saw Peter standing by the fire, and he stepped closer, until brother's – alike only in the determined look that sat on their faces when a difficult case was on, that was seen by the people in their respective jobs, yet different in so many other ways- stood almost eye to eye, Edmund being a few inches taller than Peter. The room was filled with an oppressive silence that seemed to grow as the rest of the family came in and stood around the two brothers, waiting for their reactions. Peter was the first one to break the silence:
"Finally deigned us with your presence did you?" he said sarcastically, "after seven years of us repeatedly trying to get through the wall that surrounded you and your precious work as a lawyer? Susan got married- you didn't even turn up- Work! - was written on your gifts. The same on mum and Dad's retirement parties, our birthdays, the twins christening!" he gestured to the twins who were sitting on Susan and her husbands' hips, gazing in astonishment at Peter angry.
" Why did you forget us Ed? Couldn't you see that we just wanted to talk to you, just you, not see the hotshot lawyer who defends the underdog, listens and gives judgement fairly, but can't see that his own family are being neglected! We even don't want the king of Narnia who was a military campaigner, negotiator and judge? Just you!" the last words yelled at the silent Edmund, who through the entire speech stared straight back at Peter while the rest of the family echoed in silent agreement in their heads what Peter was saying.
" Peter.." Lucy started to say, but Edmund stopped her with a wave of his hand.
" It's alright Luce. It maybe true, but why do you think I did this? Why do you think I fought for people who couldn't, while my family was being left? Because I was trying to prove that I wasn't following in your shadow like I've always been, even as a king of Narnia, it was the High King who was adored, while I was left in the shadow of the throne. I just wanted to be out of your shadow, but I'm not allowed to do that am I?" This was said so quietly that the twins turned to their mum and said: " what did he say mummy?" Susan shushed them with a look that had quietened many boyfriends when they interrupted her phone calls.
Peter put his hands on Edmund's shoulders, and pulled him into a hug.
"Ed, you were never in it, you just needed to see that. Welcome home Ed. Welcome home."
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