My blood burns like fire, engulfing me in chaos. Feelings I know too well begin to boil under my skin, seeping into the gaping darkness of my soul. I am alone, and I am content. The breath escapes from my lungs as I'm crushed by rubble.
I will miss her. She was a different kind of woman, unlike any I'd ever met. Her polite monotone voice and composure snared me, and her cool, cute mannerisms intrigued me. Shizuru. Her flirts were subtle and poised. Strength emanated from her form. In a way she reminded me of my mother, but it was only in her posture, when a cigarette dangled from her lips or fingers she transformed into what I believed was my ideal woman. Her personality all to well complimented mine.
Yet, I chose to torment her beyond my impending death, giving her my onyx and gold lighter to remember me by. Every time she uses it, she will think of me and be reminded of the pain that I caused her. Pain I wanted to cause her because of my horrible nature, and yet I wished I could take it away.
Is this, what love feels like? I wanted to be with her, to be on her mind and in her heart. I didn't want it to end this way. The pain I caused her will last a lifetime, every cigarette she smokes will make her heart ache, the ache, an emptiness where I should be filling her life.
I destroy everything I touch, perhaps it's better this way, perhaps it's better than I don't ruin her. Perhaps I am saving her from even more pain this way. Her level headed composure will keep her grounded, will keep her sane.
I think...I think my mind is fleeting as I die, words don't feel as eloquent and strong as they used to. Bets and words had always been my wheelhouse and now, now, I regret my last bet. I regret not having her for just a little longer, not loving her before the pain. There was so much I wished for, but at least I had the chance, a brief moment to experience love. Love unlike the others I had felt. It's almost as though I can feel her lips against mine, tasting the faint taste of tobacco and mint.
I know I'm hallucinating, but I can feel her hair against my face as she cups my cheek, her delicate sweet lips leading me into the horrid after life I was sure awaited me.
I am content. I am free.
A/N: This was requested by an anon on tumblr. I hope you enjoy my speculation on Sakyo's dying thoughts. I probably could have expanded this a little more, but I have a slew of papers, reviews, and other stories to write. Please Review, this is my first YYH fic, let me know how I did. See you in the next story and follow me on tumblr (Michellekellyff) See you in the next story. Much love. XOXO