A drop of sweat fell from Hannah Rutherford's straining face and landed on the thin white material of the hospital gown covering her massively pregnant belly. The dawn's pale light filtered through the blinds of the hospital ward, glittering on the woman's sweating forehead and she heaved and panted.

'Push!' urged her boyfriend, Lewis Brindley, who was standing by the bed, his hand trapped in Hannah's vice-like grip. The doctor stooped at the foot of the bed, peering deep into Hannah's nether regions, a surgical mask barely containing his large squidwardian nose, eyes bulging as he inspected her every, slimey dilated inch. 'The head is burgeoning!' announced the doctor. Hannah and Lewis' expressions intensified as their child was emerging into the world.

A small, determined face was looking through a small window in the door leading into the ward, trying hard to get a glimpse of the birth, she squashed her face into the window trying to see.

'I can't see anything! Put me down!' said Kim angrily. She was wearing her corgi onesie and being held up to the window by Simon.

'Oh dear Mandrew!' said Simon, he turned to the small crowd of people waiting outside the ward, 'Mandrew can't see what's going on! Oh dear!'. Sjin and Minty were sat in some waiting chairs, their arms draped over one other, and exchanged a look of worry. Sips and Duncan were also draped over each other and also exchanged a worried glance. Everyone in the room was thinking of the birth.

'And there we have it! A beautiful, healthy baby!' exclaimed the doctor as he wrenched the child free from Hannah's mucused loins. The doctor's name badge read 'Doctor. Testificate M.D.', and he held the child high in the air swinging it over to the far side of the room where he swirled a blanket a around the baby. Lewis half sat on the bed, next to his beloved girlfriend, who was exhausted from labour and as eager to see her baby as he was. He put his arm around her as the doctor approached the bed with the bundle of blankets; excitement and love fluttered inside the pair. But before either could set eyes upon the babies' face, the doctor suddenly stopped and turned away.

'Oh? What do we have here?' said the doctor, his face suddenly wrapped with interest.

'WHAT!?' exclaimed the couple, shocked.

'Well, it's just. There's something strange about this baby'

'What? What?' Lewis got up and strode over to the doctor, pulling the doctors shoulder back with his hand. As he gazed upon the baby's face, he stopped dead and turned pale.

' Lewis! What's wrong with our baby!?' yelled Hannah from the bed, 'Bring it over, I don't even know if it's a boy or a girl yet!'.

But what Lewis saw confirmed that it was neither a boy nor a girl. He felt numb as the realisation set in. The baby, swaddled in blankets, tiny in the doctor's arms was ... An owl...

It was one week to the day that Lewis had found out about Hannah's affair with . Hannah had denied it at first, of course, but the evidence was right there.

'Hannah, how can you deny it. THE BABY IS AN OWL!'

'I never fucked that fucking owl!' replied Hannah.

'Then how did a baby owl get into your pussy then! Hm?'

They argued again and again, each time becoming more angry and venomous. Eventually they decided to split. Hannah was woken one morning by the door slamming hard, where Lewis was supposed to be sleeping in the bed beside her, she found only a note: 'I've gone to live with the only person who truly loves me, Simon. If you're lonely why don't you move in with , bitch? From Lewis. kiss kiss'.

Simon opened the door of his flat to find a dishevelled Lewis with two suitcases of shit on his doorstep. 'I'll put the kettle on' he said knowingly and slinked inside. Lewis sat at the kitchen table and laid his head flat, his world crashing around him.

'I can't believe Hannah would cheat on me with ... I just can't believe it. I would never cheat on her'

'I know you wouldn't mate' chided Simon as he dropped teabags into cups.

'I wouldn't even cheat on her with Strippin, and he's fucking HOT'!'

'Very handsome. Very handsome. Yes'

'I mean, he's just so hot! Capital 'H' handsome! I totally could have gotten with him if I wanted..' said Lewis.

'Alright, don't be stupid now' said Simon. The kettle whistled shrilly as it came to the boil.

'What do you mean?'

'Well, I mean, you're alright looking, but Strippin is way out of league, mate'

'That's really what you think?' asked Lewis, indignant.

'Well yeah' said Simon, 'I mean, sorry to break it to you, but you're no Simon Lane. You couldn't get a Sam Thorne'

'Oh I could get a Sam, it's you who couldn't get the Sam!'

'Oh yeah? Put your money where your mouth is, why not? I propose we have a little competition and make a gentleman's agreement that whoever wins will get a prize'

'You're on. Whichever one of us can fuck Strippin by the next full moon will win!'

'You got it!'

'What's the prize?' asked Lewis.

'Hannah' said Simon, 'The winner gets Hannah!'

The yogboys spat on their hands and shook.

Raising a baby alone is almost impossible, but raising an owl baby alone is an absolute piss-take. When the feathered bugger popped out, she had been reasonably surprised, but she was winded awfully when Lewis left her. With only a note to remember him by. That and his clammy nerd smell on the sheets, and in the fabrics of the flat's sofas and cushions; that scent she had never particularly cared for, but now he was gone, she inhaled it with a longing. When the owl cried in the night, Hannah knew it was always her turn to feed it, because there was no one else. And the thing about owls is, they're nocturnal! She flinched at the sight of her reflection in the mirror, her usually peachy skin had turned a deathly white, with dark bruise-like shadows beneath the bloodshot eyes; her blonde locks had turned to straw. She couldn't remember the last time she had slept. She was glad Lewis was gone, he couldn't see her like this.

She flipped up her laptop and booted up youtube. A new video was in her sub-box, a new video from Strippin! Hannah always loved Strippin's videos. She hurriedly combed through her sock draw until her fingers felt the long smooth shape buried beneath the socks. After laying it on the coffee table beside her laptop, which was loading the latest Strippin Says, she rushed to the bathroom to retrieve a small vial of viscous fluid. Now that the video had loaded, and she had her dildo and some lube, all Hannah needed to do now was close the curtains. She felt better already...

Lewis and Simon arrived at yogtowers early the next morning to find Martyn sorting through fan mail as usual.

'Martyn, did you even go home last night?'

Martyn's neck slowly rotated, eyes unmoving.

'No' he said, in an unfathomable tone, before slowly turning his head back to continue sorting. Simon and Lewis walked down the hall, both watching each other's movements carefully. I wonder if he's forgotten about our competition, thought Lewis. I wonder if he's forgotten I'm wearing his underwear, thought Simon. Simon released a silent but deadly poot, and giggled with devilish glee.

Their fun was over when they opened the door into the kitchen to see Hannah curled up asleep on the table like a cat. Simon whispered to Lewis: 'What's she doing here?'

Lewis said: 'She's got a lot of gall to show her face here again after what she's done'

'Too right' said Simon, 'Right, let's shift her, you get the arms I'll get the legs'. With a heave they managed to move Hannah from the table. She was limp like a rag-doll, still fast asleep with the baby owl stuffed down her top like a feathery third breast. As she was hoisted across the kitchen, her head hung back exposing her face, she was slobbering and had dark makeup smeared over her eyes. Lewis glanced at Simon, 'She's a mess isn't she?'

'Poor lady.'

'Yeah, I still hate her though..' said Lewis, 'And I hate too'

They deposited Hannah on the couch, where she lay snoring loudly, quite oblivious.

'In fact, I'm going to give that a piece of my mind!'

'Revenge is like swallowing poison and waiting for the other person to die...' said Simon, wisely. But Lewis was already halfway out the door, in desperation Simon yelled another proverb after him: 'Winter's coming! And so am I!'

It was a few hours until Strippin arrived at Yogtowers, and when he did, Simon was ready. God only knows what happened to Lewis, he went to talk to and that's the last Simon had seen of him, but that was good because now Simon would have no competition to seduce the bodybuilding games-journalist, Samuel Thorne. Simon's thoughts were interrupted by the creak of the kitchen door opening. The silhouette in the doorframe was so tall and muscular it HAD to be Sam.

'Hello big boy 3' drawled Simon.

Strippin's mouth fell open as he looked upon the scene. There was the thirty-seven year old, balding youtuber Simon Lane lying like one of your french girls naked upon the kitchen table. He had evidently showered himself in Jaffa-Cakes- the evidence was all over the kitchen, and they formed a large mound around his secret area, concealing his manhood behind a pile of the Mcvities treats.

'Simon what the fu-' began Strippin.

'SH- Baby! No words can be applied to US! Join me!' Simon made a kind of bird's nest out of Jaffa-Cakes and sat fully naked in it, patting the space next to him, inviting Sam to join. He squawked like a sexy mother bird. Sam's nostrils flared as he watched Simon wiggle his (slightly flabby) bottom into the cakes, the chocolate melting off them and smearing across his skin and squelching and bubbling in his butt-crack.

'Simon, fuck off'

'But darling! Hark! Can you resist my feminine charms..?' Simon rolled over onto his front, relishing every moment. He kicked back his legs in what he thought would be a girlish, merry movement. His ass was in the air, and his neck was bent round to watch Strippin. Simon reached back to lay a chocolate smeared hand on his bare ass-cheek, squeezing slightly so as to pull the cheeks apart. Sam was covering his eyes.

'Simon fuck off' he turned to leave but something darted out of nowhere and sunk its teeth into Sam's leg.

'YEAGH!'

The pain was intense, Sam looked down expecting to see some kind of rabid dog. He was half-right. He saw the furious little face of Kim in her corgi-costume, her teeth like a dozen pearly needles tearing into the muscle of his leg. Her face was so squeezed and contorted, she hardly noticed Sam's fist before it collided with her tiny filipino face. The miniature woman was sent flying back through the air with a canine yelp. She thumped against the opposite wall and landed flat. Her body shaking she got to her feet and struck a pose that said 'I'm ready to do battle!'. She roared and ran at Sam both hands wide and claw like. Sam simply extended one of his long muscular arms and placed a hand on her forehead. She swiped her claws but her arms were too short to connect and she couldn't get closer because of Sam's hand.

'Kim why are you attacking me?'

'I need you to fuck Simon!'

'Why?'

'Because.. because he said if I help him to fuck you, he'll... he'll'

'He'll what Kim?'

Kim slowly calmed down, letting her clawed fingers fall limply to her sides, her gaze was on the floor but she looked into Sam's eyes and reaching inside her corgi-onesie. Sam bent to look, and Kim pulled out a long metal chain, and Sam could see it was connected to a bondagey leather collar which was fastened tight around Kim's neck. Kim was a bondage bitch.

'Kim...'

Kim sniffled, 'I know, he.. he.. makes me live as his dog...'

'Kim that's horrible. Let's beat him up, together' Sam smiled that weirdly handsome crooked smile of his and extended his open hand. Kim took it, and the pair was suddenly energized with newfound strength.

Simon was still squirming deeper into the piles of Jaffa-Cakes on the table, his pale body smeared with dark-brown chocolate and slick with the orange jelly. He looked like ginger sticky jabba the hutt. His eyes were closed in ecstasy as he simply wallowed. Sam and Kim approached him, he was on his back, and his dick was pointed up in the air, though neither of them noticed it at first because it was so small.

'Ohhhhh' groaned Simon, oblivious. Suddenly he ejacualted a jet of hot cum that flew right into Strippin's open mouth. He spat it out immediately but he couldn't help but accidentally swallow some. It tasted like sour milk. As if he wasn't angry enough already! Now Simon would pay!

When Hannah awoke, hours later, she could hardly believe her eyes. The kitchen looked like a room from a survival-horror game funded by Mcvities. The floor was covered in a layer of smushed cake and chocolate with sticky blobs of orange jelly everywhere, the mess was splattered up the walls and on the ceiling. The table lay on it's side, dripping with slurry. And there in the midst of the dark chocolate was a pale body. It was almost camouflaged as it was smeared all-over with brown chocolate, orange jelly and something dark red. Blood?. What has happened here? Nervously she got up of the sofa and walked across the sludge, tip-toing so as to avoid contact as much as possible. She nudged the body with her foot. It stirred weakly. She booted it one and it rolled over. It was Simon, but he had lost his gamer's-pallor. His entire chest and belly was dark with blue and purple bruises, brown with chocolate, orange with jelly, and red with congealing blood. His face was messed up (more than usual) as his eyes had swollen shut, and his lips had puffed up like engorged red worms. He looked a sorry sight, and yet his lips twitched as if to indicate a smile. Tears leaked from the slits of his eyes as he choked out: '...he did it..'

The man clapped his hands meekly, 'He did it! He swallowed my cum... I won'. Then Simon passed out, and fell back onto the floor with a wet thud. Hannah did not want to know what the fuck was going on and decided there was no way she would be the one cleaning this mess up, so she better disappeared so someone else would be forced to do it.

Hannah had been unable to sleep the night before, and so she had come to yogtowers to get some work done, but then been too tired to actually do any and so she collapsed on the kitchen table. She had dreamt of Lewis, of his pasty white body and mysterious lack of body hair, and of his smaller-than-average penis... She missed that smaller-than-average penis so dearly... Yesterday when she had masturbated to Strippin's video, she was actually thinking of Lewis, and about halfway through she stopped using her dildo and instead used the smallest baby-carrot she could find. In reality she was just a girl shoving a diminutive vegetable in her pus-puss, but in her head, it was Lewis' thing, and she was his girlfriend again. Damn that owl, she thought. If only she had had time to explain! Explain that she hadn't cheated on him. Explain that one night while she was working late at yogtowers, had made some unwanted sexual advancements on her... She shuddered at the memory of how the owl-plush toy had slid a feathered hand up her thigh. Of how she said no and she thought it was over but that was when the sexual-harassments began... When she bent over the photocopier he would pinch her bottom. When she went to the bathroom, he was always watching, perched up on the cubicle wall looking down at her with those soulless sewn-on owl eyes of his. And, not many people are aware of this fact, but when a woman gets pregnant off an owl-plush toy, the pregnancy only lasts about two days... Lewis should have known something was wrong when she woke with a heavily pregnant bulging belly when she was a size 2 the day before. That fucking owl. I must tell him how he's hurt me, I must tell him. She scurried to the room where she knew resided, and opened it. What she saw within made her shit her pants.

Sam and Kim were chatting in the kitchen (the other kitchen, yogtowers has two. Didn't you know?). Beating Simon Lane to a bloody pulp really takes it out of you, so Sam was making himself and Kim a nice pot of tea; Kim sat quietly to the table fiddling with the chain of the BDSM collar that now lay, open on the table before her.

'So, how on earth did he get the collar on you in the first place, Kim?' asked Strippin as he fiddled with mugs.

'Aha. Well, it's a long story' her thickly lashed eyes were fixed on her fingers, only flicking up to look at Sam when he sat down beside her, holding two hot cups of tea in his hands.

'We've got all day' said Strippin, giving her that weirdly handsome crooked smile again, Kim couldn't help herself but to smile back and blush faintly.

'Well, one day, Simon asked me if I liked bondage. You know, chains, whips, domination, that kind of thing. I said, yeah I do. So then he just clamped on the collar and I lived as his puppy for about a year...' Kim's voice trailed off as the tears came.

'If you liked bondage ... it wouldn't be so bad would it?'

'Yeah well he didn't let me finish. I like bondage from the master's perspective. I like being dominant NOT submissive!'

'Oh..' said Sam as he understood.

'I'm a bit surprised you're a dom, Kim... You know, cause you're so little.'

'Hmpf. I could dominate the shit out of you, Sam. I'm quite the dominatrix I'll have you know' Kim winked devilishly. 'In fact... why don't we give it a go?' Kim's expression had turned from sadness to one of pure evil, and Sam turned pale as he understood what she was suggesting.

'Uhm... I don't know about tha-ACK'

Kim had clamped the collar tight around Strippin's neck; it fastened automatically rendering him unable to breathe. The world went dark and fuzzy as his brain ran out of oxygen. His body thudded on the kitchen floor, his tea spilling everywhere, tragically.

When he awoke he felt tight leather straps binding his body. Around his thick neck was the collar, which was now adjusted to allow him to breathe, at least. On his wrists were tight shackles of black leather, with a shiny metal buckle on each, he wore a matching pair of cuffs on his ankles. His legs and torso were bare, exposing the sculpted six-pack he had worked so hard on. The only thing concealing his dignity was a very tight, form-fitting pair of orange speedos. He looked down at them and saw that an image of a corgi's face was printed on the bulge of his penis. He felt sick. Sam was lying on his side, and he sat up to try and figure out where he was. The room was dark and his head was still spinning. How long had he been out? It must have been longer than a day surely.. The room was small, like a cell, and he noticed the floor was concrete and very cold. His pair of speedos had the back section remoted, exposing his beefy butt-cheeks to the cold, hard floor. His hands touched his face and discovered he was wearing a small mask over his nose, he felt the shape of it and realised it was a corgi mask! This is Kim's doing. Nanosounds has kidnapped me and intends to make me submit to her dominatrix ways and become her little sex corgi!

Sam shuddered fearfully in the little dungeon. He heard a distant sound, a distant 'clip-clop', getting closer and closer. The door to the dungeon creaked open letting in a little light, the silhouette in the door made Sam's blood run cold. It was unmistakably her, though not as he had ever seen her before. Usually a modest dresser, Kim wore a leather bikini with chains for straps; with two long metal spikes protruding from her nipples, and more spikes on her thigh high leather boots. She wore what looked like some kind of policeman's hat, made of leather adorned with yet more spikes and the phrase 'I is a bad bitch'; her eyes were hidden behind some wicked cool sunglasses, and she looked pretty badass as she smacked a pony-whip against her hand, testing it. As she approached Sam, lying on the floor, her 12 inch high heels made the clip-clops he had heard before.

'Hello, Mandrew...' she drawled.

'Kim, why are you d-' The pony-whip cracked hard against his face.

'Mistake number one, Mandrew. Corgi's don't talk'

'Kim please...' said Sam weakly. Another thwack with the whip.

'Mistake number two. You do not wanna know what happens when you reach three... I suggest you decide to be a good little puppy from now on, Mandrew. Hm? Yes, why don't you get onto all fours now? Okay? Yes, there's a good doggy. Now bark like a dog!'

Sam felt humiliated and very scared. The cracks of the whip stung red across his face, and made his eyes well up with tears. Surely, he wasn't really going to have to bark like a dog... was he? Kim laid the end of the whip softly on Sam's bare ass cheek and rubbed it threateningly.

'Bark you fuckin dog.' she whispered.

Sam made a quiet doggish noise. Kim planted a stinging lick of her whip on his bare behind, making him yelp and jolt.

'That's not a bark! BARK PROPERLY YOU LITTLE DOG!'

And so Sam barked like a dog, and wished he was dead.

The first thing Simon Lane was aware of when he woke up was that he was completely naked. The second thing was the gooey brown substance all over him, between his toes and butt-cheeks. For a moment he wondered how on earth he had gotten into this state until he remembered: the seduction attempt. The seduction attempt which had not gone as planned: he had not been able to fuck Strippin exactly, but if memory serves, Sam had gotten a mouthful of Simon's semen, so in a way it had been successful. Surely, firing a load straight into his mouth would be enough to win him the competition. Unless Lewis had actually been able to fuck him. Simon decided he needed to check, and so got to his feet and walked about yogtowers, still butt-ass nekkid, covered in jaffa slurry.

He found Lewis in the sitting room, with Hannah. The two were engaged in what looked like a serious conversation, but Simon winning the game was probably more important than whatever they were talking about.

'Lewis! Leeeewis! I have something to tell you, Lewis! Lewis, I've won the game, Lewis! Lewis!' Lewis was sat on the couch in a very odd position, and he was wearing a large, baggy overcoat. His face was a little pale, and his eyes wide, as if he had had a fright. The continued use of his name made him look at Simon.

'Lewis, Ive won. I've won the game, Lewis. I splurged and Strippin ate it all, Lewis! He swallowed my cumshot Lewis, I win!'

Neither Lewis nor Hannah reacted. Their faces were both grave.

'Don't you care, Lewis? You've lost Lewis!' Simon was euphoric at his victory, and did a little happy-dance. His small penis wagged pathetically as he danced, but no one noticed because his pot belly concealed it.

'Simon..' Lewis said slowly, 'The competition is off. Hannah and I have been having a little chat and. Well, I've realised things weren't as they seem.'

Simon was crestfallen: 'What?'

'Hannah has told me what really happened, she didn't cheat on me at all. It was that blasted ! I wouldn't have believed her but-' Lewis stopped speaking and groaned, clutching his belly, which was hidden beneath the coat.

'Hannah, oh my god, Hannah!' Lewis was in agony, he clutched Hannah's hand.

'Lewis' said Hannah, 'It might be time! Simon! Give me your mobile!'

Simon reluctantly reached into his butthole. It was easier to get his hand in than usual because the jaffa slurry served as lubricant. He pulled out a nokia mobile phone, and handed it to Hannah. Hannah wiped it thoroughly on the arm of the couch before dialing.

The yogscast were back at the hospital where it all began. In the same room where Hannah gave birth, she was there again, but this time with the roles reversed.

'Push!' she urged. She clutched tight onto her beloved's hand. She had explained to Lewis how had had his wicked way with her, and how when a human falls pregnant to an owl plushie, the pregnancy is super fast. Lewis would never have believed her if the same thing hadn't happened to him! Apparently he had gone to 'give a piece of his mind' when had fucked him too, and by the next day he looked nine-months pregnant, and now he was giving birth!

'Push, Lewis, push!' A drop of sweat fell from Lewis' brow, his face contorted with the intensity.

Outside the labour-room sat an odd assortment. There was Simon having a cheeky snack of jaffa-cakes; he had not bothered to get dressed, so the sight of a chubby man covered from head to toe in congealed blood and crushed jaffa-cakes was sure to catch a few eyes. He waved creepily to old women who balked as they walked passed him, appalled. At his feet was a dog, sound asleep. Except it wasn't a dog, it was Strippin. When he heard his master's clip-clops returning he woke up and started panting with his tongue out. He had a dildo with doggy tail on the end of it inserted into his ass, so he was able to wag his tail at Kim, who was approaching with a dog bowl. The sight of a three foot filipino woman with a bob and full on bondage gear drew a few eyes as well, but whenever she caught anyone starring, Kim gave them a little whip on the bottom, which sent them running, ever so slightly aroused. She put the dog bow which was full of water, on the floor for her little corgi, Mandrew, to lap up. As he dipped his face into the bowl, Kim walked over to the window. She no longer needed anyone to hold her up as her massive heels made her almost the size of a normal human. What she saw she would never forget.

Doctor Testificate MD inserted two fingers into Lewis Brindley's anus.

'Anal birthing can be very painful for the uninitiated' he said, wisely. 'But it looks as if we have no choice. Nurse, get the lube!'

'Doctor, we're all out! We used the last of it to make a slip and slide in the hospital corridor!' shrieked the nurse.

'Damn' said the Doctor, 'Well, they don't call me Doctor Testificate MD for nothing! I know how to improvise!' Doctor Testificate MD burst through the door, almost knocking Kim over. 'LUBE, WE NEED LUBE AND FAST!' he yelled!

'Doctor Testificate MD!' said Kim, 'I just gave my dog here a bowl of water, but he's just finished it!'

'No matter, bring him in anyway!' And so, Kim dragged Strippin by the leash into the labour room.

'Now, what we need to do Kim,' began Doctor Testificate MD, 'Is make your dog throw up the water!'

'Okay,' said Kim, 'We can poke the back of his throat! I've got the perfect dildo right here!' Kim pulled out a menacingly thick black, leather dildo.

'No, that will never do!' cried Doctor Testificate MD, 'I need your dog to throw up the water directly into Lewis' anus! Which means we need a double ended dildo, one end will go up Lewis' ass, and the other will poke the back of your dog's throat so he can deposit the water directly into the anal cavity, thus lubricating the birth!'

'I see, Doctor. But I'm afraid I have no double ended dildoes!'

The whole room was deadly silent for a moment until Hannah spoke up.

'The puppy tail! That's half dildo, half tail! It will work!'

'Of course!' cried Doctor Testificate MD, 'The tail!'. Strippin yelped as the puppy-dog tail dildo was wrenched free of his butt-hole with a pop. Doctor Testificate MD held it high in the air.

'Okay, now everyone needs to lick the end of it so we can get it into Lewis' ass in the first place!'

He handed the dildo around; Kim took a nice big lick, Hannah licked it gingerly, the Nurse licked it hungrily, Lewis licked it sleepily, Strippin licked it eagerly, Simon licked it suggestively and Martin licked it tiredly before turning to continue sorting through the endless piles of shit people post to the yogscast.

'Martin, where did you come from? No matter'

Doctor Testificate MD pressed the dildo into Lewi's anus. With a schloop! It went in. The good Doctor grabbed Strippin's head by the hair and forced it down. The good Doctor's hand was a fist full of Strippin's dark hair, pushing forward and pulling back ward as he forced the sexy corgi-boy to give rough fellatio to the dog tail end of the dog-tail dilo poking out of Lewis' ass.

'Keep your lips clamped firmly around the anus! Theres a good doggy!'

Strippin was already retching, Kim put her fingers tightly around his lips, keeping them joined to the anus. Finally, the contents of Strippin's stomach came gushing up his throat, through his mouth and straight into Lewis' bowels. And then again, he vomited buckets right up Lewis ass. When there was no more puke to puke, Doctor Testificate MD and Kim released their hold of the former games-journalist's head. He now looked quite bedraggled and dishevelled. Lewis' belly had grown a few inches now it was full of not only an owl baby, but also Strippin's vomit.

'UGG! IT'S COMING!' groaned Lewis, eyes tight shut. The sight was beautiful. Like a volcano erupting, a long stream of shitty vomit plumed from Lewis Brindley's ass, splattering the floor and walls. He heaved and vomit jetted out of him. Suddenly, something blocked his ass, stopping the shots of sick. Lewis screamed and pushed, and he managed to shit out what looked like a big chunk of vomit with another gush of puke. The entire room was covered in the splatterings. Hannah, Simon, Kim, Doctor Testificate MD and the Nurse wiped the vomit from their eyes. The brown chunk quivered on the floor, 'hoo' it said.

Later that day, the yogscast opened the double doors of the hospital entrance and stepped out into the world. Hannah pushed Lewis' wheelchair. Lewis had an owl baby on either knee, he wore only his hospital gown, which let his balls hang free in the wind, the way it's meant to be. Beside them walked Simon, smeared with orange jelly and chocolate just like the majestic beast he is. Kim was on the other side, her 12 inch heels making a racket on the pavement, she looked happy as she watched her dog. Strippin hadn't liked the idea of living as a dog at first, but either he got used to it or his little soul had been broken by Kim's horrific sexual torture. Either way, he looked happy now, bouncing all around the carpark chasing pigeons in his little corgi speedos, wagging his tail-dildo, with his tongue out. It seemed like everything was going to be alright.

'Hey wait up!'

The group turned to see who had spoken. It was Martyn! He was wheeling out a girl in a wheelchair. 'Kaeyi's finally out of hospital!' said Martyn.

'Hi guys' said Kaeyi. She was beautiful.

'I never heard what was wrong with her. What was up with her?' said Hannah.

'I destroyed her pussy' said Martyn sheepishly.

'Oh okay' said Hannah. The group had gotten going again when another voice called.

'Hey slow down!'

It was Zoey this time, her red hair flying in the wind as she tried to catch up with the group. She was in a wheelchair too, being wheeled by a woman no one recognised.

'Hey guys! I'm feeling better too, so I'm finally out of hospital! This is my girlfriend Fiona! Fiona this is everyone!'

'Hi Fiona' said everyone. Hannah said:

'I never heard why you were in hospital either Zoey...'

'Oh, I destroyed her pussy' said Fiona sheepishly. Zoey paused drinking her chocolate milk for a second to nod.

And so the yogscast returned to yogtowers where was charged with two cases of rape, and multiple cases of sexual assault. And they all lived happily ever after... Except who was sent to prison where he learned the meaning of the word rape. Every night.

The end.