Hello all! I don't own Sherlock, which in my opinion is a real pity because I'd have Season Three going already. This is an OC story. I've decided to (Sorta) Right it in a diary/blog form but if that isn't working I might switch over to regular story form. I hope you like it :)

Welcome to the blog of Hailey Black.

June 25

My therapist told me it might help. To write it all down. From the start. Every little detail I can remember. She said I didn't have to show anyone. Not even her, that it can be for me to look over and sort things out. But I don't want that. If she's going to put me through that emotional hell I'm going to put it out there for the world to see. For everyone to read and know the truth.

She said it might help me realize all my feeling, all my thought, and my emotions are completely understandable… But they're not. Not really. She—everyone keeps saying what happened was for the best. That it's easiest this way. They're fucking off their rockers. Nothing is ever 'easier' with Sherlock Holmes. Nothing.

Everyone keeps saying how I feel is acceptable considering I loved him and all that. And they tell me that eventually it'll get better and I'll move on because that's what he would have wanted. But you wanna know something? That's bullshit. Nothing you feel when loving Sherlock is acceptable. It's always wrong and messed up and it makes you head hurt and you want to cry or hit him. And that was the best part.

Because Sherlock Holmes is a hard man to love. I'd say impossible, but if that we're true… it wouldn't be like this. Sometimes I wanted to give up, I wouldn't to tell him relationship didn't work like this, or dates shouldn't end like that. I wanted to cry to him, tell him I didn't believe he even actually loved me. But I never did. I never had to. Because in his own little screw up way, he fixed it, and suddenly I knew. He loved me too.

And the whole 'It'll get better' thing? The 'It's time to move on. He would've wanted it' that's crap too. It won't get better. Ever. It's going to get a fuckton worse. Because I needed him. John needed him, and all of you, whether or not you ever even met him or even heard of him, you needed him too. Because Sherlock Holmes' was a good man. Better than the lot of you.

And moving on? That's not want he would've wanted, and if you ever met Sherlock Holmes you would know that. Ego the size of Big Ben, and a Mind Palace to match. When he walked into a room, he had an air about him, an air that you'd never forget. And he knew it. And it made him happy, and smug, and… it made him, him. He would've held on to this, to what he had, with every fiber of his being, even if he'd never admit it.

He killed for me. He paused the British government; he jumped out of a helicopter, and into the Thames, and blew up a whole building for me. And once he even killed himself. For me. For John, for all of us. But most of all, he swallowed his goddamn pride for me. Something Holmes' didn't do.

I saw him jump. I saw him land. But don't you dare ever tell me I saw him die. There's no amount of evidence in the world the can convince me that it was Sherlock Holmes' who threw himself off of St. Bart's.

I'd bet my life on a million other possibilities before I bet that Sherlock killed himself. Because if Sherlock was anything, he was a prideful, if not spiteful man, and the least boring man I've ever met. If he wouldn't let a million and one trained killers kill him. He sure as hell wasn't letting Moriarty do it. Once he said to me, "Suicide. What a boring predictable case it makes. I hate it." So Sherlock Holmes? Do something boring and predictable? I think no.

John might think you're dead, Sherlock. So might the world. But I don't. And I'll be waiting for you.

The address is 221B Baker Street.

The names Hailey Black.

And this is my story of murders, kidnappings, drug raids, a few government crashed, some love, and a whole lot of hate. But mostly. This is my tribute to him. The man who managed to steal my heart.

Moriarty was real. Long live Sherlock Holmes.

I hope you likes it! Sorry it was so short, I just needed a way to open it and such. Please review :D