Hello to all, KL21 here, with a lil something for u guys. Another fic from Mind of Seddie

This one was inspired by the movie What Happens in Vegas, when the judge sentences the two main characters to marriage. So that is the main inspiration, along with a secondary inspiration from a convo I had with some friends involving pants.

There you have the ingredients of this story, I now give you the product. Please, read enjoy and review. Thank you.

All's Well that Ends in Pants

"That's it!" Carly had reached an unknown level of fury, "I have had it with all of the bickering, and the arguing, and the fighting!" Sam and Freddie stand there, mouths agape, as their friend goes on a tirade that neither of them had ever seen before. "You never agree… ON ANYTHING!! You fight… ABOUT EVERYTHING!! And I'm TIRED OF IT!!"

Sam opens her mouth to say something, "SHUT UP!!" The sheer shock of the situation causes Sam to close her mouth. Carly takes a deep breath, leaving everyone hoping that her fury had all been spent. "Now… I don't really care, anymore, if you guys become the best of friends. I don't care if you magically realize that you have feelings for each other and fall in love and live happily ever after, and then die happily in each other's arms at a ripe old age; leaving behind nothing but babies and memories." Sam and Freddie share a look of confusion but neither of the two dare to utter a single word. "But hear me when I say this!" Carly gives them a look that can freeze a lion in his tracks, "You guys are going to go without fighting for six… months!"

Freddie and Sam, in their moment of shock, forgot about the enraged Carly, "SIX MONTHS!?!" Both scream.

"SIX MONTHS!!" they were quickly reminded.

"I can't go six months!" Sam gestures towards Freddie, "Look at him! He makes it so easy!" Sam looks back over to Carly, "I don't know how you manage to do it!" This slight did not slip past Freddie.

He took the bait once again, "That's because Carly is sweet and kind, not counting this moment… whereas you, you blonde devil, have a heart that is filled with hatred and evil."

"You know what, Benson?" Carly's eyes stretch with disbelief, "Why don't you go across the hall and play with your, My Little Pony, Dolls!" Where they really about to do this?

Start another argument? Right in front of her? "Why don't you go rob a convenience store, you degenerate…" They really are about to fight. Carly can't believe it.

"ENOOOOOUUUGH!!!!" Carly had, once again, had it. They could see the window in the studio door shake. "NOW, you guys are going to go these next six months without fighting, or else: Sam, I'll make sure that this apartment… no, this whole apartment building never sees another ham… ever…" Sam felt actual fear for the first time in her entire life, "… and Freddie…" He had been staring at Sam as she slowly progressed through a mental breakdown at the prospect of a ham-less existence. He slowly looks at his friend, "… if you provoke her, I'll dump garbage all over you and tell your mother that you sneak out of the house at 2:00 in the morning to visit hobos at the city dump." Freddie's eyes almost popped out of his head.

"What!?! No!!" Freddie starts to panic at the prospect of how his mother would react, "I'll be on lockdown until I leave for college; I'll be forced to take showers and tick baths and delousing at least two times every other hour; She'll put a 41-digit code on my door at night." The gravity of the situation begins to press on Freddie as he starts to hyperventilate.

Carly was unmoved, "It starts in ten minutes!" She walks over to the studio door, "Get your shots in now!" She storms out of the studio, leaving Sam and Freddie to their fate, and introducing the world to its own fate, as it had never seen a Carly Shay as furious as she is now.

Sam and Freddie stand in the studio, unable to feel any sympathy for the world. For its newest tormentor had just stolen their most convenient means of communication.

"What… just…" Sam was at a loss for words.

"I… don't know." Freddie was unable to offer any assistance.

Sam quickly recovers, "Well, Fred-nerd…" she shrugs and puts on the best look of nonchalance that she can muster under the circumstances, "I can do anything for six months: I can go without jerky for six months, I can stay on the run from the cops for six months, I can… not wear pants for six months…"

"Sam, you can't justify being able to do something by saying that you can, not do something." Freddie decides that, since it will be six months before he can feel the rush of an argument again, he will, in fact, get his shots in.

"Whatever, nub…" He figured that Sam must've reached the same conclusion, "The point is, I can go six months without insulting you… easy." She wears a look of confidence. One would think that this wasn't a big deal at all.

On the inside, however, she was, indeed, terrified. How could she go six months without torturing Freddie… without even a tiny jib? Would she have to avoid being around Freddie altogether? No, she can't do that. They have to do iCarly. Maybe we could meet up in secret and argue for old time's sake. No, Freddie would never go for that. He is too afraid of his mother and letting down Carly. Maybe I could find someone else to argue with. That would certainly be easier… but would it work? Who will I find to take his place? Shane's too cute, Jonah's probably still an idiot, Reuben is definitely still an idiot, Pete's not enough of a nub, and Gibby's too… Gibby. Why is this school's male pool so shallow!?! The pressure starts to weigh on Sam. Could she really do it? Could she really go six months without cracking? She has to. Not for her sake, but for ham's sake and the sake of all in the apartment building that love ham. Why did she have to bring the ham into this? Ham has never done anything to hurt anybody… and now it could be taken down in the crossfire. Why isn't Freddie freakin' out about this?

Freddie on the other hand could only focus on one part of Sam's declaration. Who can go six months without pants? "Fred-nerd… Fred-wuss… Fred-drip…" Sam's, already thin, patience evaporates rather quickly, "HEY, MORON!!" Freddie stirs out of his reverie

"Huh?"

"Get outta your pervy imagination… dipstick…" she had gone from imaginative nicknames which involved his name to normal nicknames involving his self-esteem, "we gotta real problem here!" Freddie had regained enough mental capacity to smirk.

"I thought you could do anything for six months." Sam stomps over to Freddie and punches him in the shoulder.

He grabs his shoulder in pain, "This is serious, idiot!!" Sam sounded upset but Freddie could tell that she was freaking out.

Freddie regained enough mental capacity to, now, form his own sentences, "Sam, chill out. It's only six months…" his calm doesn't portray his true feelings, "… I'm sure they will fly by." He walks over to Sam and places his hands on her shoulders. He feels that he should try to stabilize his… his… he wasn't quite sure what she was to him but he still feels that he should try to help calm her down. "Take a few deep breaths." She closes her eyes. He feels her shoulders rise and fall. "We'll be at each other's throats again in no time." He feels her shoulders rise and fall once more, a lot less tense then a few minutes ago. She hears him ask, "All better now?" She opens her eyes and they stare into each other's eyes; each trying to read the emotions that lay hidden behind them.

The silence grows really heavy, really quickly and Sam figures that she never really liked reading anyway. Sam violently shrugs off Freddie's hands, in the form of her pushing him and making him trip over the bean bags, "Whatever, dishrag…" She can't help it… this is what feels most comfortable to her.

"Hey, demon! I was only trying to help!"

"You wanna help, Fred-turd?" All of this staring into each other's eyes is unfamiliar, "Stop bein such a nub!" right now, familiarity is her friend.

"How old are you? FIVE!?!"

"Six, nub, actually, I'm six!" this feels right to her.

"Real mature, Sam!"

"Well, I'm six, Fred-worm. What do you expect?" She suspects that he feels the same.

"I expect six year olds not to mess with people who are bigger than they are!" His smirk confirms her suspicions.

"Well then, Benson… I guess I'm a little bit older than six." There is, still, only one thing that could make this feel right… feel… perfect. She closes the distance between them and grabs him by the collar. Freddie braces himself for whatever he is about to receive from the blonde. Since it will be six months, he is sure that it will be something big, something that could sustain her over the course of six months. He steals a quick glance into her eyes once more and quickly shuts them as he sees her start to move… and then…

"STARTING NOW!!" The studio door slams shut, they were unaware that it had been open. Carly had re-entered the studio to inform the bickering duo of that their punishment had begun and quickly exited; failing, in her fury, to notice the close proximity of her two friends.

Their proximity was not lost on her two friends; however, as Sam releases Freddie's collar, "Talk to you in six months, Freddie." With those words, she left him standing alone in the studio. Sure, they would talk within those six months, but… it wouldn't be real… and they both knew that.

However, neither of them would realize that all of Sam's thoughts would be on Freddie.

Likewise, Sam would not realize that the only thing Freddie was thinking about was Sam… not wearing pants.

Well, there you have it. I would like to take a moment to acknowledge all of u who read and review my stories on a regular basis. Pigwiz, Tech-man, JamesTheGreater, axel100. Anybody I missed, I deeply apologize. I appreciate all of my reviews and everyone who takes the time to write them.

No other news and I don't feel like pluggin any of my other fics so, fictioneers and fictionistas, this is where we part ways… for now.
Until Next time,
Deuces
KL21