Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight; it all belongs to Stephenie Meyer.

A/N: I'm currently going through the earlier chapters and rewriting them. I don't want to take the story down, rewrite, then put it back up. So I apologize for any errors or confusion.

High School.

Just thinking those words made me cringe. I still often wonder how I made it through three years with my sanity still intact. But there I was, in my senior year of high school, not knowing how I was going to make it through one more year of teen angst.

Sure, I had friends. They helped a lot with the whole "brightening my day" crap, mainly Alice.

My friendship with Alice was questioned on a day-to-day basis. No one really understood how two people, who were considered polar opposites, could even function in a friendship. But neither of us gave a shit if other people got us. I liked wearing clothes; Alice liked buying clothes. I liked playing my clarinet in my spare time; Alice liked playing with Jasper's dick in her spare time. That sounds like enough common ground for a friendship to me.

Alice's boyfriend, Jasper, moved from Texas to Forks during the middle of freshmen year. He had P.E. with us and, luckily for Alice, she wasn't a complete klutz like I had been (everyone has their awkward phase). So when a softball almost hit a distracted Jasper in the jaw, Alice quickly caught it before it made contact. Once they looked into each other's eyes and heard violins playing – as Alice claims – there was no chance of separating them after that.

Just my fucking luck.

Whenever Alice wasn't with me, she was with Jasper. At first it made me feel slightly bad that I was keeping them from sucking each other's face off twenty-four seven, but Alice assured me that being apart made it all the better to see each other again.

It was the first day of school and, according to Alice, I promised her she could dress me once a month, including the first day of school. I must have been on some imaginary crack that day because I couldn't remember making that alleged promise, but Alice insisted that I had.

Well how bad can it be? That had to be the bullshit question of the year.

Just as I finished taking my shower, I heard my rarely used cell phone go off; playing the ringtone I specifically set for Alice. It was that horrendous song "Barbie Girl". Most people would probably find it cute that I had set that song for her. Honestly, I had chosen it because I knew that song annoyed the shit out of her.

I quickly ran to pick up my phone, knowing Alice wasn't known for her patience.

"Hey Alice," I said as soon as I flipped open my phone.

"Wow, you're actually out of bed already? I thought I'd have to climb up the side of your house and jump through your fucking window to get your ass up. Now come open your front door, it's starting to rain out here!"As she spoke I heard her banging on the front door downstairs.

"Hold your goddamn horses, I'll be right there."

Since I was in nothing but a towel, I hastily pulled on my sweatpants and tank top, sans any undies, and made my way downstairs. As soon as I opened the door Alice's face turned into a look of pure disgust.

"I hope you didn't plan on wearing that to school," Alice said as she passed me to let herself in.

"Sure, Alice, come on in. Would you like a cup of tea?" I spoke sarcastically.

Alice just frowned at me, not pleased.

"No, Alice. I just threw something on to answer the door," I sighed.

"Good. I know you don't like getting too dolled up but that doesn't mean you should go out looking like a train wreck."

"Thanks Alice. You're the greatest best friend a girl could ask for,"I said, laying on the sarcasm.

Alice simply smiled and head up the stairs to my room. Once she was inside, she sat on my bed and held up a black duffel bag I had failed to notice.

"What's in the bag?" I said suspiciously.

"Oh just I few things I need to help get you ready today," she said innocently.

I immediately saw through her fake innocent act and walked over to unzip the bag.

Alice snatched the bag up and ran to the other side of my little room.

"Alice," I said in a warning tone.

"Bella just promise you won't freak out okay? It all may look overwhelming at first, but it's really not as bad as you think." She was backing away from me slowly, like I was a predator and she was my prey.

"Okay, Alice, I'll stay calm just show me what's in the bag," I said unenthusiastically.

"Alright." Alice slowly unzipped the bag, revealing the contents.

I took a step back as I saw the deep red fabric fall out of the bag along with a pair of black strappy heels. Alice carefully lifted out a chrome box, her make up kit that I had seen many times before.

Alice set her kit down and picked up the red fabric, which I could now see, was a dress. Oh no, it wasn't just any dress, it was blood red with a black ribbon right under the bust where it poured out into flowing fabric. The straps were awfully thin and the back had small buttons instead of a zipper. If I was being honest with myself, I had to admit that the dress was gorgeous, but did she really expect me to wear this shit to school? Who wears a fancy dress to fucking school? The ridiculousness of the concept just screamed Alice.

But instead of voicing my thoughts of how I didn't want to go to school looking like a podunk fashionista, I kept my mouth shut. I knew I could get over wearing the dress, as idiotic as it was, but with every positive in my life there had to be a negative. The negative, in this case, would be the black heels still lying on the floor. Alice's insanity shone through at that moment; because insanity is the only excuse she could possibly have for expecting me to wear those.

"Alice, are you insane?!"

A hurt look flashed upon Alice's face. "What? You don't like it?"

"No, Alice, the dress is fine. I just hope you have another pair of shoes in that magic bag of yours," I said, eyeing the black bag.

"Bella, please? You promised I could dress you. I know they might look intimidating now, but once you put them on you'll love them," Alice said while picking up the heels and handing them to me. "Go on Bella… just try them on."

I glared at her as I went to sit on my bed, knowing that if I tried to put them on standing up I would end up with my face meeting the floor…which wouldn't be the first time.

The heels fit perfectly. It took me a minute to figure out where all the straps went but Alice assisted.

"Okay Bella, try them out." Alice looked much too excited. If she wasn't my best friend I'd swear she was forcing me in them just to see me fall on my face for a good laugh.

I slowly got up, using my nightstand for support. I began taking a slow step but my foot began to wobble and I hastily sat back down on my bed.

"Alice I really don't think this is a good idea. I don't want to go to the hospital on the first day."

"Bella just give it another try. This time think more about walking and less about trying not to fall."

She extended her hand to help me get up. I grabbed it and she pulled me onto my feet, which must have been difficult since she's a full head shorter than me.

I managed to walk across my room a couple times, and Alice seemed to think that was enough reassurance and began working on my hair. Once I had a head of flowing brown curls, Alice helped me get my dress on.

By the time we were ready to leave, it was pouring outside.

"Alice, how the hell am I supposed to not only walk in heels all day, but also do it in the pouring rain?"

"Don't worry Bella. I'll hold an umbrella over you while we're outside. I'll be your own personal umbrella holder like celebrities have," Alice said with a laugh and a huge smile. She was actually excited about this shit. I swear she purposefully made sure that all the attention was centered on me any chance she got. I suppose it was sweet in some annoying I-want-to-punch-you-in-the-ovaries way.

Surprisingly, we managed to make it to the school in one piece. Alice's parents were obnoxiously loaded –why they lived in Forks was beyond me – and had bought her a canary yellow Porsche for her sixteenth birthday. Ever since she got it she would hardly ever let me drive my old Chevy pick up. I loved my truck but Alice always complained that it didn't look good when a pretty girl got out of an ugly car. I always had to refrain from rolling my eyes at that one.

Alice drove her Porsche, which definitely wasn't a common car you see around town, at about double the speed limit. I used to tell her to slow down, being raised by a police chief and all, but she always told me to shut up and enjoy the ride. As we walked into the main lobby, Alice closed the umbrella and shook her short black hair.

"I hate the rain, it always makes my hair frizz," Alice complained as she combed her fingers through her hair.

"Alice, stop it. You look great." I smiled at her.

She returned my smile and looked me up and down. "Well if I look great then you look fucking gorgeous."

I felt the blood rush to my face and was sure that it was now matching the color of my dress. Just as Alice was about to say something, Mike Newton popped up next to her.

"Damn Bella, you been eating your Wheaties! What have you been doing over the summer? You look like a whole new person," Mike said as his eyes wandered all over my body. It was pretty sickening, considering Mike was the little pervert that your parents always told you to stay away from.

"I…Uh...Well…" I couldn't seem to form a full sentence. Mike was still looking at everything but my face.

"God, Mike! You're so disgusting!" Alice yelled at him. This immediately pulled his eyes away from me and onto Alice. Mike looked at her with what can only be described as a hateful glare.

"Hmm, looks like you haven't changed a bit, Alice. You're still a nasty little thing."

I wasn't surprised by the instant hostility between Mike and Alice. I was fairly positive they had never gotten along. It looked like this year wouldn't be any different.

"Mike Newton, you better back the fuck up before I shove this umbrella right up your-"

"ALICE!" Jasper came running up frantically. Most people would probably doubt that Alice would actually hurt anyone, and she wouldn't...unless their name was Mike Newton.

Jasper must've clearly seen how threatening Alice looked with her umbrella raised in the air and Mike Newton being in perfect shot.

"Alice, please give me the umbrella." Jasper held out his hand and gave Alice a stern look. It was almost cute how he would more or less scold her like a parent would.

Alice pouted her lips as she handed over the umbrella.

"Jazz, I was only going to hurt him a little bit," Alice said while pouting her lips even more.

"Yeah, right. You could never do any damage to me sweetie," Mike said with a smug look on his face.

"Oh you don't think so?" Alice said as she grabbed the umbrella out of Jasper's hand and started to move towards Mike again.

Jasper swiftly grabbed her around the waist with one arm and yanked the umbrella out of her grasp with his other hand. "Alice, please stop this!" Jasper begged.

Alice huffed and immediately settled down.

Mike glared at her. "Yeah, tame that little beast of yours."

I could see Jasper tighten his grasp on the umbrella, his knuckles tearing white. "I am only going to say this once so listen up. I'm not going to put up with your bullshit this year, Newton. Stay the fuck away from my girlfriend or you're going to need this umbrella surgically removed from your ass!"

Wow.

Jasper had to have been really pissed off because he never, being the southern gentleman that he was, threatened people or used expletives. Mike seemed to realize this and quickly turned and walked away, tail between his legs.

Jasper turned back to Alice and handed her the umbrella. "Jeez, Alice, only you could take an everyday object and turn it into a weapon. What am I going to do with you?" Jasper looked down at her, a smile playing on his lips.

She smiled up at him and they began to snuggle into each other's arms adoringly. I took that as my cue to leave.

"Hey guys, I'm going to head to class. Thanks for saying something Alice, Mike creeps me out so much I didn't know what to say."

Alice's focus turned to me, noticing it was my first time speaking since the fight had started.

"Oh, Bella, don't worry about it. You're my best friend; of course I'm going to protect you from vile creatures like that sick basta-"

"Alice…" Jasper said cautiously, reminding her to stay calm as he rubbed soothing circles on her back.

"Sorry Jasper. I'm calm, I promise." She gave him an apologetic smile.

I couldn't help but laugh at how silly she was acting.

"Ok, so I'll see you guys at lunch," I said as I was about to turn and leave. "Oh, and Jasper…?"

He turned and looked at me.

"Keep that little devil out of trouble please," I said with a smile.

Jasper laughed and nodded his head while Alice giggled and kissed him on the cheek.

I made my way to my first class. Fortunately, my friend Angela was in it and offered to sit by me so I didn't have to worry about having to sit by myself.

Angela was a pretty girl, just slightly above average looking. She had been friends with me since sixth grade, when we both started band together. We bonded because we were both late starters, everyone else had started in fifth grade, and we both played B Flat Clarinet. Angela and I also shared a passionate love for anything having to do with band or music in general.

"So Bella, what did you do this summer?" God, how many times was I going to have to hear this today? "Did you have fun?" Angela was honestly curious. She was sweet like that. If you ever needed someone to really listen to you, without judgment, she was the person to go to.

"Um, I didn't really do much. I hung out with Alice and Jasper a lot." Yeah, I spent my summer being a freaking third wheel. Alice kept pressuring me to find a boyfriend. Ha! As if it was that easy! Like I could go outside and see a cute guy, walk up to him and say "You're my new boyfriend. End of Story." That definitely was not going to happen.

"Oh yeah, I hung out with Jacob quite often too," I added, remembering the many late nights we had of hanging out… and how they all came to an abrupt end.

Jacob was my second best friend, if I were to put them in order in a "Top Friends List". He lived down in La Push about fifteen minutes away and went to school there on the reservation. Jake and I had been friends since we were toddlers. He was the only one of my friends who knew everything there was to know about me. He knew my likes and dislikes, my facial expressions, he understood the joy I got from having a mouth like a sailor, and he was my only friend who had ever met my mother.

The last time I saw my mother was in seventh grade. She used to pop in and "check" on me and my dad, Charlie. I guess you could describe my mother in about two words: flamboyant and crazy.

She never really was one for having a "home life" and my dad told me she could hardly sit still while she was pregnant with me. Charlie and my mother, Renee, met when he rescued her after a motorcycle accident. Maybe he should have realized how crazy she was from the get go. But he loved her and she claimed she loved him, though now I'm not sure if he doubts her sincerity or not.

She got pregnant with me about two weeks after they met. They never got married and eight days after she had me, Charlie woke up and she was gone. She would call now and then, asking how I was doing, and sometimes she would just show up about every six or seven months. Soon she just stopped showing up.

Her last visit was when I was in seventh grade. I came home to find her sprawled out on the lawn drinking a coke. She said she had just come from Egypt and was just stopping to freshen up before she went to Florida. She wasn't kidding about just freshening up because after she spent two hours in the bathroom, she kissed me on my cheek and left saying a simple "See ya later kid" over her shoulder.

Once I realized she was gone again, I called Jake and he rode his bicycle all the way to my house. He let me cry on his shoulder and just talk and talk until Charlie finally came home from work. That night I could swear I heared my dad crying himself to sleep in his room.

But Jake was there for me when everything was tough and I needed him the most. This summer was no different. Whenever I didn't feel like imposing on Alice and Jasper's relationship, I would call him up and we'd find something fun to do. That was until last weekend.

Jake and I were hanging out at his house watching Dirty Dancing, when he suddenly turned to kiss me. I was taken off guard, to say the least, and didn't have time to respond in any way. When Jake stopped and looked into my eyes, he said "I love you."

I panicked and started to fidget. Sure I loved Jake, but not in the way he was hoping for.

"Bella, I said I love you." He stared at me expectantly.

"Jake I… I don't know what to say," I said honestly.

Jake leaned closer to me, making me lean back into the armrest of the couch.

"Bella it's okay. I know you love me too. We are made for each other, destined to be together. We shouldn't fight it anymore." He looked deep into my eyes.

I couldn't even being to comprehend what was happening so I said the first thing to bubble to my oh-so-stupid mouth.

"I don't love you, Jake." The moment I said it I wished that I truly could somehow take it back.

Jake's face turned to such a potent red that I almost feared he was suffocating.

"WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN YOU DON'T LOVE ME?! THAT'S NOT POSSIBLE! I KNOW YOU LOVE ME, BELLA, I KNOW YOU DO! DON'T LIE TO ME!" Jacob was yelling at the top of his lungs. For the first time in all the years I've known him… I was really scared of him.

"I'm sorry, Jake," I whispered at almost an inaudible level.

"Bella…" I looked up at him, hoping he would tell me it was okay and that we could still be friends.

He turned away from me and said "Get the fuck out."

I was frozen. I couldn't believe that he was angry with me for not loving him. It broke my heart to get up and walk out his door, knowing that I had just broken his as well.

I hadn't seen Jake since then and it had been about a week. Everyday, I would debate whether or not I should go to La Push and tell him that I really was in love with him, for the sake of our friendship. But I know it would be wrong to lie to him like that just so I could have my friend back. I was selfish at times, but I could never be that selfish.

Once I was pulled out of my thoughts, I realized that I had been through four classes and was on my way to lunch. I was actually managing to walk in the heels Alice had forced me into. I was more than happy that my ankles were still functioning at this point. Upon entering the cafeteria, I spotted Alice and Jasper at a table, whispering and staring at each other, and made my way over.

"So Bella, how's your day going so far?" Alice said with a smile. I was almost positive they were just having one of their "vocal love making" sessions. They said it was their way of having sex in a crowded room. I don't ask questions.

"Um, I guess it's going okay. I don't really remember much. I feel like something's going to happen soon, I just don't know what."

Ever since talking to Angela this morning, I had a weird feeling like something life changing was going to happen today. You know that feeling you get in the pit of your stomach that makes you go insane? Yup, that was it. I was anticipating it so badly that I had blanked out through all my classes. For all I knew, the major thing had already happened and I was too busy thinking about it to notice.

"Well something is going to happen soon, Bella," Alice said knowingly.

I stared at her, confused.

"You have band class next period Bella!" Oh yeah. "You've been waiting all summer for band. Aren't you excited? I heard there's a new director."

"WHAT?!" I nearly screamed.

There was no possible way there could be a new director. Our old band director, Mr. Bean, had been at our school since it opened forty-five years ago.

There was no way that he would leave now. He lived for band, just like me and everyone else. Our band motto was "Eat, Sleep, Breathe, and Feel the Music." Sure it's a little cheesy, but it was true.

Mr. Bean was the one who came up with that motto and no one who makes a motto like that, and also truly lives by it, would just up and leave.

But I guess the true reason I was upset was because I had spent the last three years of my life kissing that man's ass. I wanted so badly to sit in the front row, in which the top players of the clarinet and flute sections sit. By the end of last year I knew I was a shoe in to be in the front row this year.

So where the fuck is Mr. Bean!?

"Alice, this is terrible! What am I going to do? I spent this entire time kissing Mr. Bean's fat ass and now that fucker leaves! Just my goddamn luck," I ranted.

Alice and Jasper stared at me wide-eyed.

"Oh, sorry guys… I guess I got a little carried away," I apologized with a smile that I'm sure didn't look natural in the least.

Alice reached across the table and rubbed the back of my hand.

"Bella it's going to be okay. I've heard how good you are and there's no way this new director can't see that. I'm sure you'll be first or second chair," she said with a smile.

"Yeah, Bella, Alice is right. You are going to be fine. I heard he's a pretty good guy from one of my friends on the drum line," Jasper tried to comfort me.

Jasper's attempt to comfort me actually worked a little. I knew the drum line had already met this new guy because they start practicing for marching band two weeks before school. The rest of the band had our first practice scheduled for afterschool today.

As lunched ended, I made my way out of the cafeteria and started walking towards Spring Hall. Our school was more like a community college campus than a high school. It was split up into two main buildings and then a smaller one, Spring Hall, which was just for Art and Performing Arts classes.

As I made my way down the main hall of the building, I spotted Angela for the second time today. I walked over to her locker as she pulled her shiny clarinet case out.

"Wow Ang, get a new clarinet this summer?" I was in awe as she opened up her case to make sure she had reeds.

My clarinet was the same one I'd had since sixth grade, when I started out. My dad couldn't afford to buy me a new one. It was hard enough buying reeds all the time and I knew asking for a new clarinet would be completely out of the question.

"Yeah, it's wooden! She plays like an angel," Angela laughed. "I still have my plastic one for marching band. I wouldn't dare take this beauty outside," she said with mock horror and laughed.

"So did you hear we have a new director?" I asked bitterly.

"Oh yeah, I did. I heard he's something."

"What do you mean something?" I was completely confused now.

Angela smiled. "I heard he is a total hottie," she giggled.

I did not care if this guy is cute or not. If I wasn't in the first row this year, I promised myself I would quit band and take another class, or go home early since band was my last two classes. My schedule was missing one class and trying to be the total suck up; at the end of last year I told Mr. Bean I would be a teacher assistant for his seventh period. There was no actual last period class, but I would be busy sorting music and things like that.

"Angela, I don't care what he looks like. I'm going to end up having to kiss his ass double-time so I can get in the first row."

"Don't worry, Bella. I know you'll be in the first row with me." Angela gave me a comforting smile.

There was no doubt that Angela would be in the first row. She was ranked second in the county and was in All State Band, which is a big fucking deal.

I returned her smile and we began walking towards the band room doors. Right as we entered, I saw him.