A/N: If you wanna know what happens if you leave a nerd alone for an hour with ABBA running in the background - well, you are completely at the right place. I am so happy about how this turned out. I hope it's not too much chemistry I tried keeping it simple. Enjoy :)
Jane had been in the middle of cleaning up the packaging of the take- away that had been her dinner – since Weller was away in D.C. for some meetings this week and she still hadn't managed to cook something resembling food – when the doorbell rang. Glancing towards the clock she frowned slightly, not knowing who to expect at 11 in the evening.
When she opened the opened the door and her bubbly blonde best friend all but fell into her arms, well, that didn't help clearing up anything. Except that, obviously, Patterson really needed someone to talk to – or not talk to because right now she was a sobbing mess in her arms. Not being the best in these kind of situations Jane simply shut the door while pulling her friend closer to her chest, stroking her hair helplessly and trying to sooth her a little bit.
She managed to maneuver them to the couch without breaking their embrace and for a while they just sat there – Patterson weeping into her shoulder and holding on for dear life. After about 7 minutes – Jane had caught another quick glance at the watch – the blonde had gone over to just breathing heavily.
"Need a tissue?" Jane asked softly, rubbing her friend's back in a comforting manner, only breaking contact shortly when she felt her nod against her chest to reach for the pack of tissues they had stashed on their couch table. "Here."
Patterson sat up taking the handkerchief being handed to her and wiped her eyes before blowing her nose loudly. Her face puffy, Jane realized, like she had been crying for quite a while now and she pulled her friend back into her arms, leaning back on the couch herself. She moved the blonde's head onto her lap, continuing stroking her hair gently.
"Wanna talk about it?" The answer was a shrug and a quiet snuffling. "Okay. Just talk when you're ready."
And then they sat there. Patterson curled up on Jane's lap who was caressing the blonde locks, having closed her eyes as well.
"It's our second year anniversary" the usually happy woman explained miserably after a while. "I hadn't thought it would.. I don't know .. Affect me this much, I guess" she sighed faintly "The first one was bad. But he had prepared this crazy scavenger hunt" she laughed bleakly feeling the tears well up again in her eyes "And in some way, he was still with me then. I thought I had said goodbye to him... apparently I haven't."
She raised her head from Jane's lap reluctantly, leaning away a little and sitting upright to look at her friend. "I think he was my soulmate… And even if he wasn't… I just don't want to ever forget him. He was-" She swallowed "He was everything, you know?"
"I know" Jane whispered taking her hand and rubbing her thumb across it – a motion she had found always helped calm the blonde down. "What do they say? He's never really gone. He'll always be in your heart and in your mind."
That brought out the first genuine, although small, smile in her the whole day "Who knew that making you watch all the love stories with us would come back to bite me in the ass one day?" She groaned rubbing her eyes with her hands and leaning her head against Jane's shoulder again, looking straight ahead this time at the dark TV.
"You're right. Of course. Sappy love movies never lie" she said thoughtfully "But I feel like that's not enough. I want something permanent that will never let me forget him. Something happy. Something that'll make me remember all the good things. As a sign of hope or something, I don't know.." she trailed off and Jane didn't know what to reply to that so she simply stayed quiet.
Suddenly Patterson's head jerked up, taking the other woman by complete surprise, and she looked at her expectantly – a mischievous glimmer in her big blue eyes – "I want a tattoo."
Jane almost managed to choke on her own spit and simply stared at Patterson as if she had gone crazy. "You want a.. tattoo?" she repeated weakly "Isn't that something you think about for a while and not just decide out of the blue?" Not that she would know anything about that, she thought to herself wryly.
"Yes. No. I mean" the blonde rambled, now completely excited and sitting up straight on the couch, crossing her legs "I guess I've been thinking about it for a while now. I've never wanted a tattoo when I was younger… I always thought it was stupid to get something on your body permanently. Not to speak of how the color goes straight to your lymph nodes and just kinda stays there forever. Sorry" she added seeing Jane's horrified look "It's not that bad. Promise."
"Not that it would change anything now, would it?" she gave back "But hey that just gave me so many more options on my list on how-am-I-going-to-die-eventually. Gee. Thanks" she laughed.
"Nooo Jane that's not what I meant. You're not gonna die because of your tattoos. Well" she thought about it for a second "At least not because the color wandered into your lymph nodes."
"And you're sure you want a tattoo? Do you even know what you would want as a tattoo?" Jane said changing the topic again looking at her friend thoughtfully.
"I'm not sure" she furrowed her brows "What kind of tattoo would you get.. If you had to choose one for yourself?"
Jane cocked her head to her side thinking about the question "I think I like the bird on my neck" she said finally "But I don't think it's very meaningful – except for those Russian mafia guys we caught with it" she grinned at her own joke "I would get something that has a connection to something important – but nothing anyone could just notice and understand right away."
"Like a puzzle!" Patterson's eyes were sparkling again when she looked up at Jane again "A neurotransmitter with 8 letters" she exclaimed scrambling from the couch and looking around in her bag searching for something.
"A neurotransmitter. With 8 letters." Jane repeated stupidly "Okay. I'm out. Please explain yourself."
"Oxytocin" Patterson grinned and pulled out the notebook she always carried around with her along with a pen "It's a neurotransmitter. Neurotransmitter are substances that forwards signals from one neuron to the next. It's like a huge chain so everyone knows what's going on."
"Okay. What's that got to do with anything?"
"Well, Oxytocin is a hormone that functions as a neurotransmitter in the brain and regulates social interaction. It also plays a big role in maternal- infant bonding and practically any relationship, as well as empathy and orgasms" she smirked "It's also known as the cuddling hormone."
"So you wanna get a tattoo of a hormone?" Jane wanted to know "How does a hormone even look like? Do they even look like anything" she was completely out of her depths here but the blonde seemed to find it amusing, having completely caught fire.
"That's the thing. You can draw molecules in a lot of different ways. The most common way to write down the structural formula is called the 'skeletal formula'"
"Sounds like so much fun" Jane muttered under her breath but watched Patterson draw loads of lines and letters in her notebook, knowing all of it by heart apparently.
"The skeletal formula is shorthand version of the molecule so you have a rough idea where everything is. It's a layout of the substance. It's really practically for those huge molecules because it saves you some time drawing the stuff."
"I can see. This is huge!" Jane exclaimed taking the paper and studying it "So it basically consists of a lot of O's, N's and S'?"
"No. Well, yes. But see, every corner you see on there is actually a Carbon atom. But chemists just kind of shorten it. Also they save the Hydrogen atoms because they're lazy. The O's are oxygen, the N's are nitrogen and S stands for sulfur."
She took the book from Jane again eyeing it critically "What do you think?"
"I think it looks really clinical" Jane replied examining the chemical drawing over Patterson's shoulder. "It doesn't look like something you would get to remind yourself of an important person, you know?"
"You're right, I guess" Patterson's shoulders slumped "Maybe this was a stupid idea." She was about to tear the page out of the book but Jane's hand stopped her. She couldn't stand seeing her friend this defeated.
"I might have an idea. May I?"
Patterson let her have the paper and pen and watched the other woman giving the molecule a scrutinizing look. After a moment in which Jane seemed to be completely absorbed into the drawing she got up abruptly.
"I'll be right back" she called over her shoulder and practically ran over to her and Kurt's bedroom where she had kept her sketchbook over the time he was gone. She grabbed it along with two of her favorite pencils and a rubber before returning to the living room where Patterson was still sitting on the couch looking at the Oxytocin molecule.
She sat back on the couch again, her sketchbook in her lap, giving the blonde an encouraging smile "I think I might have an idea. Just give me a minute."
They went quiet after that. Patterson was watching Jane and Jane was highly concentrated, always looking up to take a look at the lines Patterson had drawn. She blanked out everything around her completely, focusing on the matter at hand and after what where more like 10 minutes she sat back up giving it a last approving look before turning it around to show it to her friend.
"It's just a rough sketch. But I think this way it would have more of your personality in it. It seems more alive. What do you say?" she wanted to know nervously. She wasn't in the habit of showing anyone – except for Kurt maybe – her drawings. "If you don't like it that's find. It's just a drabble. And if you want I can help you find another motive for a tattoo. Or-"
"I love it" Patterson interrupted her, staring at the drawing with tears in her eyes "Jane this is perfect."
Her eyes moved over the whole molecule slowly, taking in every little detail her friend had added. All nitrogen, oxygen and sulfur atoms had been replaced by small, delicate flowers. Every atom had their own flower. The two sulfur atoms for instance now where filigree dandelions while the N's had been replaced by daisies. The third type of flower for the oxygen she couldn't quiet place and maybe it wasn't an actual flower at all but it fit the rest of the picture perfectly. Along the lines that symbolized the chemical bonds Jane had drawn small leaves and branches.
It was all in so much detail for such a short time but nowhere near being too much. It was the perfect amount of kitsch and she almost wanted to start sobbing again but instead she threw herself in the arms of her lost- looking friend hugging her tighter than ever.
"Thank you so much. I love it. I love you. I wanna get this tattooed" she whispered losing her battle against the tears, this time happy ones.
Jane had fallen in some kind of rigor and wasn't able to do anything except pat her friend's back awkwardly. "You… are you sure? I mean I would still work out some details. Make it a little more tattoo-able… I mean it's gonna be permanent after all… But I guess I could do that?"
"Yes. And tomorrow we're going to start researching about tattooists in New York and you're going to help me find out which one's the best and then I'm going to get this special ink on my body. And we're not gonna tell anyone, deal? They are never going to believe this!"
Jane just watched her friend making all the plans, telling her what they had to look for in a good tattooist, all the while clutching her drawing to her chest and grinning so brightly like she hadn't been all week.
Strange, she thought, that since she had come into this world for a second times – covered in tattoos – she had never seen any sort of ink make anyone this happy. Maybe tattoos weren't all so bad, she decided keeping an eye on Patterson and returning her smile happily.