The Diary of a Storm Trooper
Dear Journal,
It's been a couple of days since my registration into the Imperial Army and I STILL haven't written about it. When I registered I met Lord Vader, he actually welcomed me aboard his ship!
I also met my captain and he told me that I had a lot of down time because Lord Vader captured one of the leaders of the Rebel army and says that she is hiding the stolen plans for the new battle station, the Death Star. At least that's the term everybody's been kicking around the office. I'm still not exactly sure what the technical name is, and since I'm new, nobody will tell me.
Anyway, after a squadron landed on Tatooine they followed the tracks of two droids and went on this huge trek after them. From what I heard through the transmitters, they found the Jawa's trade vehicle and we blasted it, making sure that they made it look like Tusken Raiders attacked the convoy. Then they went into one of the local villages and tried to find the droids that escaped the starship. They questioned a few people in a speeder but theirs weren't the droids they were looking for. Then a few of them walked in a local bar and questioned the bartender, he mentioned that someone pulled out a blue saber and chopped a guy's arm off! I wish I'd been there, that ship never would have gotten away if I had been there.
I know the armor is supposed to protect us, but jeez, couldn't they have designed a more comfortable suit? I guess nobody thinks about this when they design protection. I think I should design a suit, I'd be so much better at it. I'd design a suit that had a cooling system. But then again, with so many of us storm troopers, it'd be really expensive to have cooling suits for everyone. Maybe one just for me, I won't die like the other storm troopers, they're not very good fighters. I, on the other hand, am an Expert.
I think I should be promoted to squadron leader, I'm skilled and resourceful.
Okay so something really odd happened during my rounds of the ship, everyone started panicking and ordered every storm trooper to their station. I was paired with trooper #3312 and we had no idea as to what was going on. We patrolled the area by the tractor beam areas for a little then went back and made sure that nobody got on the ship, I think somebody called it the Millennium Falcon but I'm not sure. Anyway, then through the window I found Lord Vader fighting a Jedi! Okay…well I didn't find him, five other troopers and I were guarding the ship and we spotted them mid-duel. I saw two of my squadron-mates die today.
Skirmishes are great. I love to fight. I'd love even more if it weren't for the hot and itchiness of the suit. Every time we changed shifts today I ran to the locker room and put on some regular clothes. It may have been a pain to change every couple of hours but I'm not the only one. Whenever I go to the lounge on the third floor with the other storm troopers and most of us are always in regular clothes. Darth Vader is so strict, he only allows us to be on the third floor when not in uniform, Lord Vader says that he doesn't want to see anyone looking like an outsider or in a relaxed state. Personally, I think it's because he wears such a formal armor. At least, I think it's armor… I think I'll ask one of the guys about why he wears armor all the time.
Anyway, I forgot to tell you this one amazing thing that happened. Okay, so, I was having lunch in the trooper lounge and I was eating my disgusting cafeteria food (I think they just take the most edible stuff out of the garbage shoot) and some of the other guys told me that they'd found Vader's diary! "Oh man, Vader has a DIARY!" they said. I would've laughed too, if a diary wasn't the same thing as a journal to them. Really, it's not; diaries are for girls and Darth Vader, journals are for guys. So, they started reading entries and in one of them, he says that he had mistakenly believed that we were planning him a surprise birthday party. He wrote that he was getting a weird vibe, like we were up to something or planning something. Oh I remember that party, it was the day that I got to the Death Star! Henca Cacal turned 26. It was his second year without accelerated development, he had really good cake. So yeah, he walked in and just stood there looking all confused-- at least that's what I thought although you can't really tell from his mask-- and then he just walked out.
After we read that diary entry, the shifts changed and it was time for me to suit up and patrol the corridors. Soon after, Vader called my squad to attention and told us that we were looking for intruders on the ship and that they were not to be killed but to be brought to him. Then he dismissed us; I stayed. I wished him a happy birthday. He said thank you…I wonder if I'll get promoted.