Chapter 1 - Right On The Edge

Bella Pov

I stood on the edge, debating my choices. I could either go back to the ways things were or I could sort out my own problems.
Edward had left me because I wasn't good enough for him. I should have expected it as he is a god in comparrison to me. Who would want a Plain Jane if you looked like a supermodel. My sun had left me, after promising to never do what HE had done. Jacob had healed my heart by being there for me, after Edward had left me in the woods and his family without so much as a 'fuck you', but his unexplained dissapearance had torn the stiches, breaking my heart again.
Everytime I thought of them, my head and heart would scream in pain, I couldn't function, I was losing everything about me. I, was my problem and I needed to sort it out.
My solution would hurt no one. All my old friends had left me to rot, to fester, in my depression, deeming me a lost case. The Cullen's, my 'family' wouldn't notice, they didn't say bye and by now they will have forgotten about me. My Dad, Charlie, will be fine without me, he's been seeing someone so they will make sure he doesn't do anything stupid, but truely it's for his own good, my lack of attention and all the screaming at night has taken its toll on him, he's getting ill and it's all because of me. Renee will be fine, she's got Phil after all and it's not as if she took her mothering role seriously, I still love her though even if she's a little hair brained. Jake had obviously found something better to do than babysitting a heartbroken wreck.
I took a deep breath to centre myself and pushed the pain to the back of my mind, instead remembering the fun I've had. I smiled as I remembered the first time I saw him and his family in the cafeteria. I loved the family more than I loved Edward, which was quite frankly saying something, except they all left me here, alone without a goodbye. My life didn't revolve around Edward as much as he would have liked, it revovled around all of the Cullen's and thinking about them all hurt more than just remembering Edward.
I remembered the letter that had been pushed through my door. It was from Alice, stating that Edward was never my mate and that I was just a play thing to them all. But in the rage of almost loosing his singer, Edward had slaughtered Jasper, my true mate.
I don't know what hurt me most the fact that I had been lied to by them all or that my true mate, my other half, was killed by my clumsiness. I had always loved Jasper, something had always drawn me to him, but Edward and Alice had always dragged us apart for reasons I still don't understand.
My beau was gone forever and I knew I couldn't survive this cruel world without him by my side.
I took a tiny step forwards, my Converse clad toes were over the edge and had only air and salt water spray supporting them. Taking another deep breath, I closed my eyes. I was peaceful for once, and I stepped off the ledge. The drop was quick and exhilarating, but the cold of the sea was a shock to system, yet I liked it. I smiled as the current pulled me under, dragging me away from shore. I didn't fight it, why would I; it was helping me with my problem.
My weak body surcomed to the lack of oxygen and I happily gave into the darkness knowing it was what I wanted, remembering the only thing my one true love had told me.
'You are worth it.'