Heavy Load
Disclaimer: I don't own CSI.
A/N: This is rated T for the subject matter. This contains mentions of rape and abuse, as well as suicide. Despite the hard-hitting subject matter this is still a Snicker story, and I hope that the fluff will outweigh the sadder parts of this story. Enjoy.
"You should divorce me," Sara stated, pulling back the bedcovers.
"What?" he asked, raising an eyebrow as he climbed into his side of the bed.
"You should divorce me," she repeated.
"Why would you say that?" Nick asked, getting comfy.
"Because I do nothing but moan and complain," she insisted, getting into bed next to him but staying sat up.
"Isn't that what wives are suppose to do?" Nick teased.
Sara gave him a look. "I'm being serious here. I'm always complaining."
"Not true," he shook his head.
"It is true," she argued. "There's always something; I've always got something to complain about. If I'm not complaining then I'm crying about work or latest case. It's not fair on you."
"What's brought this on?" he wondered, giving her a curious look.
"Nothing really," Sara answered. "I've been thinking about it for a while now. I never think about you when I go on about whatever is wrong, and it's not fair on you."
"I really don't mind," he insisted, shrugging a shoulder.
"But I do."
"Why?" Nick gave his wife a look.
"Because you give so much to this relationship and get hardly anything back," she told him, speaking honestly. "You have given me so much and you get nothing in return."
Nick shook his head, rubbing his hand up and down her back. "You're over dramatising it. It's not as bad as you say it is."
"It feels it," Sara crossed her arms over her chest. "You're always forced to be the strong one and be there for me, when we should be there for each other."
"You make it sound like this is relationship is all one sided. But it's not," he maintained. "I get plenty out of this relationship. You for staters, and that's more than enough for me."
Nick grinned as their eyes met, and Sara couldn't stop the smile that spread across her face in return.
"Plus I get our gorgeous girls," he continued, making reference to their two daughters, Kimberly, three, and Ella who was nearly one. "And then of course there's our amazing sex life to consider."
Sara rolled her eyes at him as he let out a low chuckle.
"In all seriousness, it really isn't as bad as you make it out to be. I know that you're always here for me to talk to should I ever need to."
"I never wanted to be one of those women that spent all there time nagging their husband. But that's exactly what I've become. And here I am, complaining about complaining," she exclaimed as she lay back on the bed.
Nick smiled, chuckling lightly at her persistence.
"But I'm always doing it," Sara let out a frustrated sigh. "I've always got something to whine about. It's generally work related because I can't stop myself from taking it home with me. And I normally always end up taking it out on you. You must be sick of it."
"Not at all," he disagreed. "You know I love listening to anything you have to say, and I always will listen. It's good that you're not keeping things pent up inside anymore, and that your saying what's on your mind."
"Well, why don't you do it?" She questioned.
Nick looked a bit lost for words and he stuttered over what little words he did have.
"Come on, talk to me," she insisted, looking up him.
"Why?" he shrugged.
"I need to make it up to you some how," she frowned slightly.
"I could think of other ways...," he waggled his eyebrows.
"Nick," she warned. "Stop messing around."
"What do you want me to talk about then?"
"Anything, anything at all," Sara stated. "Talk to me, Nicky."
Nick sighed, though a smile slowly took over his face. He could never win when she was as determined as she was at that moment. Though he reasoned he could hardly ever win at all when it came to arguing with Sara, his wife of 4 years. She was stubborn and for as much as it did annoy him greatly it was also one of the reasons that he loved her.
"I... I don't know...," he furrowed his brow and looked thoughtful.
"There must be something," she smiled, pushing herself up a little. "What about your case today?"
Nick suddenly went tense and looked away from her. The atmosphere between them had quickly changed.
"Okay, so today's case seems like a good place to start," Sara stated. "What happened?"
"Not much," he shrugged. "Just… a father, abusing his daughter. I never use to understand how anyone could hurt their own child long before we had our girls, but now it just makes me feel sick."
Sara nodded in agreement, placing a hand on his forearm and gave it a little squeeze for reassurance.
"He'd been raping her since she was 10," he continued, looking straight ahead. "She was terrified of him. Imagine that, being terrified of your own dad. Parents are suppose to look after and protect their children, not use and abuse them."
"She's safe now though, right? That's all that matters," Sara offered.
"Only after she failed to kill herself. Her younger brother found her and called for an ambulance. She had tried to tell her mum what had been going on but she thought she was just being an attention seeking brat. But she wasn't. She was a terrified little girl who wanted to be saved. She should never have needed saving," Nick insisted, clenching his fist so tight his knuckles turned white.
Sara sat and dutifully listened to him, watching as the pain and anger filled his eyes.
"I could never even entertain the thought of doing… anything like that to either Kim or Ella, ever. How anyone can is beyond me. Why would anyone want to hurt someone they love? I just don't understand it. The poor girl will probably be affected by her fathers selfishness for the rest of her life. She can't trust anyone, she won't go out; she's 17 and she's tried to commit suicide 3 three times. He did that to her, to his own flesh and blood. How could he?" Nick wondered aloud, his voice thick with emotion.
"Some people just shouldn't ever be parents," Sara stated, hoping to offer her husband some comfort.
"Damn right. This guy should have been castrated at birth. The fact is that he didn't have any previous for abusing children, didn't even have any indecent pictures of kids on his computer. And yet he chose to rape his own daughter. At first she wouldn't even speak to me, she wouldn't let any men near her; she screamed when the doctor came to check on her. It was one of the nurses that got her to open up and eventually convinced her to speak to me. But you're right, he's in a holding cell waiting to be transferred to a prison where he will spend the rest of his miserable life. It's going to be a living hell for him, even bank robbers and serial killers don't like kiddie fiddlers. And his daughter has gone to live with her aunt in Montana because she doesn't want anything else to do with her mother," Nick explained. "Her childhood was stolen from her, but she vows to not let him ruin her."
With such an emotional and provocative subject it took Sara a great deal of effort to keep her emotions in check. As it did with Nick too. Cases of a similar nature always stuck a chord with them now since the birth of their two daughters.
Nick let out a long sigh. "So today was just a bit depressing really. At least it was, until I saw your gorgeous face."
Sara cast him a sceptical look as she pursed her lips.
"Hey, you're beautiful," Nick insisted, lifting her head up a little more. "I tell you it so many times. And I'm not the only one who thinks that. I just wish could see it."
Sara merely rolled her eyes at him, knowing he wanted to go back to there more light-hearted conversation.
"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Isn't that what they say?" Nick grinned.
"Well, I think you need your eyes tested," she insisted playfully.
"Nah, I've only got eyes for you."
"Stop it," she blushed.
Nick shrugged. "I could never lie to you."
"You know I love you, right?" she wondered, looking up at him with a slight hue of pink still in her cheeks.
"Of course," he exclaimed, wrapping his arm around her.
"Because I do you know, I really do," Sara insisted.
"I know you do," Nick smiled, gazing lovingly into her eyes. "And I love you too."
"I love you even more for talking to me," she stated.
"I always talk to you," he argued half-heartedly.
"You know as well as I do that you don't always talk about work," she maintained.
"Sometimes it's best to it leave there, shut it away inside the evidence box," he let out a low sigh. "At the very least I always try to leave it at the door before coming home."
"I know you do, Nicky, but you don't have to," she lay her hand down on his chest. "If there is only one good thing about us being married and working together is that we both understand what it's like and both know that it can get too much."
Nick nodded.
"And surely if there is one thing I can do for you -and I'm talking as your wife here- it's listen to you and understand that work gets on top of you too," Sara insisted, her voice soft and calm. "Despite the fact that you would have us all believe you can handle everything by yourself."
"I don't not talk about it...," he looked away.
"I just want you to know that this isn't all one sided, that I'm here for you too," she reiterated.
"I never thought otherwise."
"We need to do this more often," she insisted. "We need to talk, get things off our chests."
Nick nodded. "Yeah, I think it helped. Now I know why you do it so often," he smirked.
Sara scowled at him before lightly hitting him on the chest.
"But seriously, it was good to say it out loud," he stated.
"Why don't you do it more often?"
"I don't want to burden you...," he began.
"What, like how I burden you?" Sara's face fell.
"No, not at all," Nick shook his head. "But you have your own things to think about and worry about that I don't want to add to them."
"But that's what marriage is all about," Sara protested. "We're supposed to talk, share things."
Nick smiled. "You're right, as always."
"We're equals, Nick," she continued. "We're equal in every way. But things aren't equal if you won't talk to me."
"I will, I'll get better at it," he promised.
Sara snuggled into his side as she looked up. "A heavy load is lighter to carry with two."
Thank you for reading. Think this was a good story? Let me know in a review.