Chapter 1 Influenced

Clare POV

"Eli I'm sorry it's just….not going to work ok? It was great while it lasted but I can't handle this anymore, I can't handle you." I said wiping away the tears that had begun to form in my eyes. Alli had made a point. I was constantly around Eli every second I wasn't sleeping he was there. She'd been persuasive enough. It was warm for late March I was at the end of semester dance. Eli and I had been fighting for weeks now at first about small things, if we were going to the dot or not, then about larger things like he wasn't over Julia.

"YOU PROMISED ME DAMMIT CLARE YOU PROMISED!" I heard his angry reply. His words stung and hurt me more than anything had ever before.

"I know I did it's just…I have to do what's best for me now. Eli I wish things were different. You need to get over Julia, and I need to get over you. I NEVER know what you're going to do, you scare me you honestly scare me. I worry every day I'm going to do something I'll regret, something that'll push you too far. That's why I called Bullfrog the other day after I saw the gun, that's why I wanted you to walk me to my locker. I'm so so sorry." I said ignoring the tears that were now pouring out streaking my face and smearing my makeup.

"I can't believe this. YOU RIPPED MY HEART OUT CLARE YOU FUCKING TORE IT TO SHREDS!" he hollered into the phone. I held it back away from my ear, it was that loud.

"Eli I'm sorry!" I replied sobbing hysterically now. I was desperate, for him to take this easier than he had, for him to not do something stupid, for me to be able to get over him.

"So am I," he replied simply.

"What do you mean?" I asked confused.

"Eli? ELI ANSWER ME!" I screamed into the phone but there was no answer except for the dial tone.

"Oh no," I said closing the phone. I had a bad feeling he was going to do something stupid that one of us was going to regret. I pulled my phone out again and texted Adam.

Eli is gonna do something stupid. Not sure what, he hung up on me very pissed. I'm worried. Meet me out front.

-C

I stood in the doorway worried. Adam came first looking like I felt.

"I told him we were done and that I was sorry and he said so was he and a bunch of crap about how I ripped his heart out and then he hung up," I said starting to cry again.

"I'm going to kick his ass if he tries to kill himself," he replied.

"This is all my fault," I said in a whisper. My phone began to ring.

"Hello?" I said anxiously praying it was Eli. It wasn't.

"Is this Clare Edwards?" The voice on the phone said I didn't recognize it and I automatically knew what this call was about.

"Yes this is why?" I said nervously.

"Ms. Edwards I'm sorry to report that your friend Elijah Goldsworthy was in a car accident and is being transferred to Toronto Memorial Hospital."

My voice cracked as I said "Is he okay?"

"Mr. Goldsworthy was driving under the influence of sleep pills, he was intoxicated." The voice said simply. I heard a click and the dial tone began to play.

"Let's go," I said to Adam as I hurried in the direction of the hospital.

Eli POV

"Eli I'm sorry it's just….not going to work ok? It was great while it lasted but I can't handle this anymore, I can't handle you." Clare's words rang clear through my head. Could she honestly be saying this to me? Now after all we'd been through?

I was mad. Acting on impulse I reached into my tote bag in the passenger's seat and pulled out a container of sleeping pills. Pouring several into my hands, more than I should, I tilted my head back and dumped them into my mouth swallowing. Clare's excuses were poor I couldn't believe that she thought I wasn't over Julia.

The pills began to take their effect quickly, perfect. Before I knew it I was groggy "So am I," I replied to Clare trying to make my words sound clear and not slurred like they seemed to sound to me. I hit the gas and Morty accelerated. My head fell backwards into the seat as I lost consciousness. The last thing I remembered was the sound of car horns and the squeal of brakes before the sickening crunch of metal. The one thing I was sure of was that tonight either I would be with Julia, the girl who really loved me, and Clare would know how it felt to lose someone, or that I would come out alive and my life would be heck.