JEWEL BUGS
by ardavenport
Obi-Wan Kenobi was warm under the hood of his robe.
Not quite too warm to take it off. Not quite.
Next to him, Qui-Gon Jinn sat up straight in his seat as well, his arms folded before him. Their thighs were pressed close together on the cushy seat, expansively wide for a single diminutive native of this world, but only just wide enough for two adult Humans from a Core World of the Galactic Republic.
Their car thrummed rhythmically with their forward motion on the elevated rail it traveled on, the low rumble of the transport, slightly audible through the soundproofing, felt through the body just as much as the ear. And the Force.
Obi-Wan felt his Master's presence most strongly, like the shared body heat where their robes, legs and arms touched. There were no stray thoughts between them, just the Force. It flowed through them, like the breath of life, renewing their travel weary bodies. . . .
Obi-Wan opened his eyes, immediately aware that they were finally approaching their destination. Qui-Gon stirred, his posture shifting very subtly from inner hyper-aware contemplation to the more ordinary attention to the senses of the body. The air in their traveling compartment suddenly felt more confined.
Pu Pyoodles slept in the seat opposite Obi-Wan, gentle snores escaping from the small, full-lipped and pink-painted mouth resting on his bare, protuberant belly that was squashed next to his gifting box, in the seat opposite Qui-Gon. Gentle fluttering sounds came from the side air holes of the box, emblazoned with large yellow and green inspection and certification labels.
Outside, the sky above the plains below shimmered with greens, purples and pinks with the fierce interactions of stellar particle bursts and the atmosphere and the planet's unstable magnetic field that made floater transports sometimes unreliable on his world. Ahead of them rose a mountain, half natural rock, half ancient city, a gaping tunnel entrance ready to swallow up their long transport train.
They had nearly reached their final destination.
Obi-Wan flexed individual muscles in place, reviving circulation after sitting in place for so long. The seat, though comfortably padded, was too low to the floor and his knees stuck up though not as badly as Pu or Qui-Gons'.
Qui-Gon tensed. More than he needed to.
Looking all around him, Obi-Wan tried to identify what had alerted his Master. Qui-Gon leaned his head toward the wide windowpane of their compartment.
"We're coming in too fast," he said. Their transport bounced too strongly under them in confirmation; the sound of it increased, reverberating off the walls of the terminal they had just entered.
Standing, Obi-Wan turned toward the door opposite the window, but knew immediately that there was more danger in leaving than in staying.
"Hunh!" Pu Pyoodles squealed when two Jedi threw themselves over him and his box, his mouth trunk squirming and trying to poke out from the folds of Obi-Wan's robe.
The huge thump and jolt forward struck at the same time. Lights flickering, their safe transport instantly became a cell of too close padded walls, slamming into them from every direction.
"Aaaaaiiiiiiieeeeeeeee!!!!!"
Pu's mouth found its way out from under Obi-Wan's clothes and filled the compartment with a terrified scream. The Pa'lowick's skinny limbs flailed while Obi-Wan tried to keep his flabby body in place, but a sideways jolt broke them loose. They slammed into the padded ceiling over the door and then the sharp edge of a box jabbed into Obi-Wan's side before Qui-Gon's weight landed on him.
Whoooosh!
Obi-Wan stared up at a moving wave of glittering green and blue, spattered with glowing sparkles that was amazingly similar to Pu's formal loincloth. But it was moving, flowing, twisting in the air, blocking the light from the window above.
"Oh, no!" Pu's mouth exclaimed next to him.
Their compartment had stopped moving, coming to rest on its side. The Pa'lowick immediately began to thrash his way up from under the Jedi whose fall he had cushioned, but he hardly seemed to notice.
Two eyes scanning in different directions and waving a hand device, Pu scrambled to the opened box while its contents swarmed around them. Crouching, Obi-Wan tried to pull up his hood to protect himself from the large insect bodies pelting him. Some of them stuck, grabbing onto his clothes and hair with tiny pincers while other crawled down his neck and tried to get their flat oval bodies into his collar. He scrambled to get them off of him.
"Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no! Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaase don't damage them! They won't hurt you! They're just decorative!"
Now Obi-Wan was struggling with the Pu's hands, trying to stop him from grabbing and pulling the crawling bugs off.
"Obi-Wan, stop!"
Obi-Wan froze, his Master's hand firmly clamped to his shoulder. In the sudden silence, the bugs still crawling under Obi-Wan clothes continued their quest from something to grab onto.
"Oh, thank-you, thank-you, thank-you!" Pu Pyoodles fell to his knees, righted the box and activated a control. Immediately the insects still fluttering in the air, swerved and dove back into their sanctuary. Pu sealed it and snatched up Qui-Gon's discarded robe and began plucking glittering bugs from it with his hand tool, transferring them to a side door of the box.
One bug pinched the loose skin near Obi-Wan's left armpit and stopped moving, apparently happy with it's new perch. Obi-Wan twitched. Qui-Gon's fingers tightened on his shoulder.
"Control, my young Padawan," his Master instructed sternly.
Forcing himself to relax, Obi-Wan sucked in air while another bug explored his right armpit before clamping on. Control, control, control. Obi-Wan had learned to easily suppress his tickle reflex when he was a youngling. When he was prepared for it. But a Jedi Knight was always aware, prepared and disciplined.
His legs curled under him, his Master standing over him, Obi-Wan watched Pu finish removing the strays from Qui-Gon's robe and reached to remove the bugs hanging from the long strands of Qui-Gon's hair.
They were beautiful, their bodies shiny oval jewels of shimmering green and translucent blues glittering with random sparks of light. Yellow and pink with a few flashes of white, orange and red. Pu swiftly scooped lines of them off from Qui-Gon's hair. Their delicate wings only briefly appeared from under the outer shell as they were displaced but they obediently reattached themselves to Pu's hand tool and then disappeared into the box.
"Thank-you, thank-you so much," Pu gushed as he worked. "These jewel zemets are so expensive. They're bred to be very hardy. Very, very hard to squash, but the Tudan's are so picky about any little damage at all. I sometimes wonder if it is really worth it to keep this trade franchise. It's so isolated and so far from the Core and the Tudan's are so difficult to please," the Pa'lowick babbled, repeating many of the same things the two Jedi had heard from all the other delegates, traders and dignitaries attending the gathering of the Elders of Tude, who felt that their five-thousand year history of peaceful governance was ample excuse to disdain everyone else.
Qui-Gon peered up out the window. They were within the shielded terminal complex. Rescue floaters whizzed by overhead, but otherwise their view was limited. Obi-Wan sensed much fear and shock, upset and some pain, but no death. All the compartments in their transport train had appeared to be well padded and despite of their hosts' arrogant pride in their world, Obi-Wan wondered how common this type of accident was.
Obi-Wan focused on his own distress. One bug had worked its way forward and was crawling down his chest.
"Thank-you so very much. I'm so grateful for your help," Pu continued. "These are our best and so expensive to breed."
Pu finished with hair and beard and, with Qui-Gon pointing out each bug, gathered the ones clinging to the Jedi Master's outer clothes before being redirected to begin on Obi-Wan.
"They are very prized for the Tudan's gardens, but its become fashionable to wear them to outdoor parties as well, so these are specifically trained to cling to Humanoids," the trader explained. Obi-Wan noted that not one of them had attached itself to Pu's mottled, flabby flesh though his loin cloth, his only clothing, had been chosen to compliment the insects. He saw none of them clinging to any surfaces inside their compartment.
Finishing with the outside of Obi-Wan's robe, Pu carefully pulled the hood back, exposing the ones in his hair. His Padawan's braid was one long string of blue-green jewels. Qui-Gon helped him take off his robe as he stood. After a thorough examination it was put aside on top of Qui-Gon's robe.
Control, control, control. Obi-Wan kept his breathing steady and calm as the bug on his chest under his tunic clamped onto his left nipple while Pu once again reminded them about how expensive his gift bugs were.
The Pa'lowick very efficiently collected the clinging bugs from Obi-Wan's hair, ears and outer clothes, his lips moving, darting from bug to box, silently counting them.
Qui-Gon's head jerked upward.
Their compartment groaned and the floor they stood on, which was actually the door and side wall, began to tilt.
"Oooh!" Pu snatched up his box and hugged it to his body while the two Jedi on either side of him guided him back toward the real floor as the incline increased. Machinery thumped and bumped as the rescuers outside righted their compartment. The two robes slumped down into a corner.
"Uungh!" Pu fretted.
They now all lay together on the floor between the seats with Pu's mouth trunk raised high. "Oh, pleeeeease don't let them open the door yet! They usually stay attached but too much excitement could make them fly away. I just can't loose any!"
They got up with Pu Pyoodles who even more furiously plucked bugs from Obi-Wan and put them in the box. He was short, his eye level coming only up to Obi-Wan's chest and he began patting the young Jedi's body looking for more hidden in his clothes. Obi-Wan held his lightsaber up away from the probing, keeping Pu from touching it. Thankfully his belt had kept the bugs from getting down any lower into his clothes.
"I'm still missing a few. Do you have any more?" the raised pink lips asked Obi-Wan to his face.
"Um, yes. Under my tunic."
Voices and a loud groaning sound came from door, filling their confined space, but it did not open. Pu jumped.
Qui-Gon went to the door and pounded on it. The noise outside stopped. Then it started again, louder. Obi-Wan began to remove his belt and obi from his waist.
"They won't be able to hear from inside here," Qui-Gon said, taking out his comlink.
Obi-Wan took off his tabbards and Pu snatched them away looking for strays before putting them in the pile of other things. Then he froze in the middle of unwrapping his tunic when he saw eyes staring back at him from outside the window.
Their compartment had righted itself facing an unused tiled wall of the terminal, but now rescuers had come around to peek inside. They were all the local, short Humanoid species with stiff black hair and pale golden skin native to Tude. Blue and green eyes looked back in shock at the partially disrobed Jedi and hovering Pa'lowick trader. Obi-Wan finished removing the tunic and Pu was rewarded by finding two bugs clinging to the inside sleeves. They went into the box.
Qui-Gon came over to the window and began pantomiming that the Tudan outside should stay out, but they did not seem to understand. More came to look in and began pointing when Obi-Wan removed his undertunic revealing the bugs tormenting him.
"Ah!" Pu gratefully snatched them up. A little too abruptly for Obi-Wan, but the trader did not draw any blood. Two more were retrieved from one sleeve of the under tunic before Pu turned to Qui-Gon, mouth opened.
The door gave one huge groan and then heaved aside letting in the cooler outside air and noise. The lower half of the portal was filled with agitated rescuers, the tallest of whom barely came up to Obi-Wan's waist. Even lower on Qui-Gon.
"What is going on here!" the lead woman in gray coveralls stomped in, her icy blue gaze raking over all three occupants. She especially looked disapproving of Obi-Wan's bare chest. He hastily gathered up his clothes and lightsaber.
"They were just helping me! They were just helping!" Pu clutched his box before him for protection. "My trade gift escaped from the container in the crash and they were just helping retrieve them, and - - - oh!" Pu suddenly started, mouth moving with no sound coming out, his two eyes fixed on the controls of the box.
Obi-Wan could not see the box's indicators, but he had a strong intuition that the bug count was still short. He scanned the room but his eyes settled on his Master who still hadn't had his inner clothes checked. But there was no hint of any discomfort as Qui-Gon joined Pu in explaining what they had been doing.
Control, control, control, Obi-Wan thought.
"Enough!" the lead woman finally shouted. "Out, all of you! Escort them to the overseer."
They were hustled out into the terminal.
Considering the violence of the stop, the damaged seemed to be well contained. There were many transport cars on the rails at the platform, all their doors open, and only a few displaced like their own. Emergency workers scurried over them and drove machinery up and down the terminal. Groups of agitated dignitaries still stood about, some wrapped in bright yellow coverings.
They ended up at a crowd at the far end of the platform. They heard shouting.
Obi-Wan recognized some Republic officials along with representatives of some of Tude's major trading partners.
"You arrogant little poodoo," a tall, broad-shouldered tusked Dylek bellowed down at an affronted Tude woman in maroon robes flanked by angry-faced aides in simple dark blue tunics. "We have been cramped into those ridiculously small car to get here, you crash us into the walls and now you're complaining about having to start the proceedings late?!"
"We have apologized for the inconvenience - - "
This was interrupted by some outbursts from the off-worlders and much grumbling about what an 'inconvenience' was. The maroon-dressed Tudan official's expression darkened.
Their gray-coveralled escorts thrust the three of them forward, distracting the overseer from the angry crowd. Embarrassed, Obi-Wan stood behind Qui-Gon with his clothes clutched to his chest.
"These. . . .persons were trapped in one of the displaced cars and they were. . . ." one flustered Tudan escort sputtered, unable to find words for what they were doing or what was precisely so upsetting about it.
"Ah! Overseer. I am Pu Pyoodles, Senior Trade Minister of the Bychek Consortium." Pu bowed as well as he could over the box he still clutched to his rotund and nearly naked body.
"Jedi Master Qui-Gon Jinn, and my apprentice Obi-Wan Kenobi," Qui-Gon continued the introduction smoothly, gesturing behind him. Obi-Wan smiled and bowed as well, still holding clothes and lightsaber to his chest.
"I've brought a very valuable gift of jeweled zemets, a token of our good trading relationship, but some of them got out of their container and my friends here were just helping me retrieve them."
The Tudan official's face frowned with disapproval.
"Your gift was damaged, Minister Pyoodles? Do you propose to gift us with damaged goods?"
"Oh, no, of course not!" Pu's mouth trunk lifted high over his head. "No damage at all!" Ha patted the box reassuringly. "We would not ever consider such a thing! But. . . ." he frowned, his trunk lowered, his pink lips turning down sadly. ". . . .we haven't quite retrieved them all."
"Ah but we were about to, Overseer," Qui-Gon interjected. "The last. . . . " Qui-Gon glanced at the indicator on the box and reached under his tunic. ". . .six are here. They merely need to be returned to their containment."
Horrified, Obi-Wan took a step away as his Master dropped his pants and pulled up his tunic and tabbards, quite admirably displaying to the Tudans the kind of pain control and bodily discipline that separated the Padawans from the Masters.
In the complete silence that followed, Obi-Wan saw a little flutter of wings of one of the now exposed jewel bugs where the cluster of five hung. The sixth was clinging to his Master's backside.
A single large pair of hands began clapping. Very quickly all the other off-worlders joined the Dylek in his spontaneous applause.
"Oh!" The sound shocked Pu into action and the Pa'lowick hurried to retrieve the last strays he could see. But he looked worried when he finished. "Only five," he frowned.
Obi-Wan grit his teeth.
His Master obligingly turned around, flipped his tunic up and bent over, allowing Pu to collect the last bug.
The applause increased to a roar with some loud hoots of approval.
Obi-Wan sat back in the plush seat. It was still too low, and the backrest was too short to be comfortable, but an added pillow on top of it helped. Qui-Gon faced him. The transport began to accelerate out of the terminal. They were alone in the compartment.
The Jedi Council had told them to return to Curoscant as soon as they politely could remove themselves from the formalities, but nothing else. They apparently had not decided how to deal with simultaneous praise from the Republic delegates and condemnation from the Tudans.
"Master," Obi-Wan began. "Was it necessary to . . . . offend the Tudans like that?"
A small smile on his lips, Qui-Gon sighed.
"It was an opportunity that I felt should be acted upon."
Obi-Wan grimaced.
"Pu Pyoodles was ejected by the Tudans," he pointed out.
"And several other delegates offered him compensatory trade negotiations before he left. And the Mon Calamari delegate purchased Pu's refused gift before he left. He did not appear to be unhappy to leave the planet.
"You disapprove of my actions." Qui-Gon stated, obviously unconcerned about approval from either apprentice or the whole Jedi Council..
Obi-Wan tucked his hands into the sleeves of his robe. Their transport exited the city, the shifting magnetic storms above the atmosphere shimmered even brighter in the night sky.
"No," Obi-Wan replied.
Qui-Gon raised his eyebrows, surprised by the denial, and waited for more.
"I'm concerned that you don't seem to care that you upset the Tudans," Obi-Wan finished.
Qui-Gon opened his mouth but said nothing, then he looked out to the shimmering lights in the sky above their comfortable, lighted compartment. Lowering his eyes, Obi-Wan pressed his lips together, holding back his smile. It was inappropriate, Obi-Wan knew, to feel such satisfaction that he had seen so clearly a point of diplomacy that his Master had so badly missed. But he did.
"I would not say that I did not care about upsetting the Tudans," Qui-Gon said to the window and the sky display outside before turning his dark blue eyes back to his apprentice. "I would say I enjoyed it."
Obi-Wan's suppressed smile quirked at his lips.
"I would say that the other delegates enjoyed it quite a bit. But, it wasn't very . . . diplomatic."
"No," Qui-Gon agreed with a sigh. "It would seem that I still have much to learn. You have come to be much more the diplomat than I, my young Padawan."
They settled into silence, but something bothered Obi-Wan. . . .some detail. He looked up at the waves of color washing over the night sky for a time.
"Qui-Gon, you said that the Mon Calamari delegate purchased the jewel bugs from Pu Pyoodles?"
His Master opened his eyes. "Yes."
"The Mon Calamari are not Humanoid."
"No."
"They're from an aquatic world."
"Yes."
"And the delegate took custody of the zemets from Pu?"
"I believe so, at a considerable profit to Pu, who did not leave with the containment box."
"What would the Mon Calamari delegate wish to do with them?" Obi-Wan asked puzzled.
Qui-Gon apparently considered this, but his calm expression was curiously similar to the look he'd had when Obi-Wan saw him bend over to present the last jewel bug to the Tudans. His eyes looked back toward the city.
Suddenly alarmed, Obi-Wan turned his head back to look, as if he could see a swarm of vengeful jewel bugs descending on the Tudans with their off-world guests cheering them on.
"I thought it would be more diplomatic," Qui-Gon finally said, "not to ask."
=== END ===
first posted on tf.n: 7-Sep-2008
Disclaimer: All characters and situations belong to George and Lucasfilm; I'm just playing in their sandbox.