It was a long and dreary night in Jerusalem. The women were being abused by Muslims, the goats were getting fucked, and ol' JC and V Mary (the dopest rap duo around) were horny as fuck.
"And then the lord said "Let there be CUM!" Jesus yelled as he ejaculated into Virgin Mary's sweet tender puss. It was her first time, and thus it was still a tight puss puss. "Oh Jesus Christ! You are amazing Jesus! Harder!" Mary was a newb when it came to sex, she had never laid her eyes on anything involving sex ever because her parents were a bunch of conservatist fags. Jesus had to explain the golden fact to her. "Sorry hun, but after a man cums he was to wait a bit for his boosack to recharge the boys" Jesus said to his mother. "Well shit nigger, how the fuck am I supposed to squirt tartar sauce from my pubes If Sister Satan isn't nibbling on my butthole?" Mary said very rudely.
Jesus wasn't gonna tolerate backtalk from his bitches. He pimp slapped that hoe across the face with a cross shaped dildo, then poured holy sewage water on her face, turning her into a Mexican. ¿que carajos me hiciste cabron? Chupame los huevos o te meto un leche lala por los ojos de tu puta madre." Maria yelled. Jesus was satisfied. His divine plan worked. He then got out some tweezers and slowly started to cut his nutsack off. It took a long time but it was worth it. Being able to see the inside of his nuts fall out was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen, and Jesus would've came had it been physically possible. Then he laid back, kissed Maria on the lips, spooned her for a bit until both fell asleep. It had been a successful night, and a good fucking.
Later that night Jesus had a night terror about magnets and shot Maria in the face with a shotgun, blowing her brains all over the farmhouse.