Author's Note: This story was written for the Holiday Stocking Stuffer Auction. Robinpoppins bid outrageously to win me, all to benefit , which made me feel both honored and intimidated. I hope this little story lives up to her generosity.
I had fabulous beta help from Filo and KinoFille, who zeroed in on the parts I was most concerned about getting right and helped me figure out how to make this story work.
Lorelai stood off to the side of the dance studio, trying to summon enthusiasm for the holiday gathering. The pageant and procession had been as entertaining as usual, the weather was unseasonably mild, and the annual semi-impromptu party at Miss Patty's was hopping, but she couldn't shake her melancholy mood.
She nodded and smiled when Taylor thanked her for helping with the costumes. She laughed brightly at repeated retellings of Kirk's dramatic stumble down the gazebo steps. And she playfully argued with Andrew over the last bloody spear tip cookie, but ended up settling for a more traditional Christmas tree.
Really though, she was plotting her escape, trying to determine just how soon she could leave without anyone noticing. A few more minutes, she thought. Once everyone had another round of booze, she would slip out.
Sighing, she leaned back against the wall and tried to figure out the cause of her funk – how could she be feeling so lonely when surrounded by people she thought of as her second family? There wasn't even anything specific she could pin it on. Her father was out of the hospital. She and Rory had made up. She and her mother had made up. Luke had proven yet again what a good friend he was by closing up the diner and driving her to the hospital.
In truth, though, her father's trip to the hospital had shaken her more than she wanted to admit. It was easier to harbor her long-held resentment of her parents when they seemed invincible, but seeing her father pale and weak and her mother terrified brought their mortality front and center. It made her realize how terrible she'd feel about the wall she'd helped build between them if she lost one of them now. She'd never regret leaving with Rory when she did, but she would regret not doing more to stay connected to her parents.
Lorelai pushed away from the wall, inching over to where she'd tossed her coat while deftly avoiding anyone who might try to extend holiday greetings into a full-blown conversation. She was about halfway to her destination when the studio door slid open.
Luke stepped inside and she grinned, realizing that her needling of him must not have fallen on completely deaf ears. In fact, it even looked as though he'd changed for the occasion. It was warm enough that he hadn't bothered with a jacket, and the flannel he wore was a plaid of deep blues and greens that she'd never seen. It was only the third or fourth time she'd seen him since giving him the new hat, but she noticed how nicely it complemented the shirt. It seemed ridiculous to wonder if the coordination was intentional, but the thought did briefly cross her mind.
"See something you like, honey?" she heard from beside her and looked over to see Patty eyeing her with a sly grin. "Or maybe someone?"
"Oh, I'm just…uh…waiting for the crowd at the punch to thin out a little."
"Right," Patty said knowingly. "Well you carry on, dear. We old broads will just have to continue to live vicariously through you pretty young things."
Lorelai gave a rueful chuckle. "I'm sure you're not missing anything, Patty. Things are pretty dull where I'm sitting."
"Dull?" Luke asked, coming up next to her. "Crazy, maybe, but never dull."
Lorelai glanced up to catch him smirking, and Patty said quickly, "Well, I'll leave you two to argue about that, but just remember I'm counting on you."
Luke's brow wrinkled in confusion. "Counting on you? What is she talking about?"
Lorelai shook her head. "You don't want to know."
"I'll trust you on that one," he said, nodding.
"So," she teased lightly, "you managed to tear yourself away from your dishrag after all. Or do you have it stowed in your back pocket?"
He narrowed his eyes at her, but then shrugged. "No one's at the diner anyway. They're all here."
"Yeah, because this is where the action is," she joked halfheartedly.
"Too many crazies all in one place," he said, glancing around the room. "I've probably got about fifteen minutes in me before I rip the stereo cord out of the wall."
"Ah, you and me both, my friend," Lorelai agreed, patting his arm in solidarity.
He eyed her with concern. "Are you okay? This is usually more your scene than mine."
Lorelai chuckled. "My scene? Now you've got me trying to imagine what 'your scene' would be." She shrugged. "I don't know, though…I just don't have the energy for this tonight." She pointed at him accusingly. "Maybe it's because someone only gave me one refill of coffee."
Luke scoffed. "Actually it was three, so it clearly isn't lack of caffeine." His tone softened as he cocked his head to the side. "Is everything okay? How is your dad doing?"
"He's fine," she answered, waving casually. "He's at home being pampered by the finest staff money can buy."
"And you?"
The unexpected show of concern took her by surprise and she responded automatically. "I'm fine."
"Okay." His eyes crinkled doubtfully, but he let it go, shrugging. "Just checking."
"It's just…" She shook her head slowly. "I can't seem to snap out of this funk."
"Is it Rory? You two aren't fighting again, are you?"
"No, it's not that." Lorelai pointed across the room. "She's with Dean, giving him the full history of the Star's Hollow Christmas Pageant."
Luke glanced around protectively, stopping when his eyes settled on Rory and Dean, who were huddled in a corner talking quietly. "I don't like that kid," he muttered.
"I'm still warming up to him myself," Lorelai said, "but Rory's crazy about him, so there's not a whole lot I can do."
Luke nodded with understanding. "How's she doing? After the whole…"
"Grandfather in the hospital scare?" Lorelai finished for him. He nodded again and she continued. "I think that it really freaked her out. She's just started to get close to them, and my dad, well…he adores her."
"Of course he does," Luke said matter-of-factly. "They must both be crazy about her."
Lorelai just nodded and said wistfully, "Yeah, I'm glad she's got that. Hell, I'm even glad she has narcolepsy boy over there. I just…it's a lot happening all at once."
"Must be hard," Luke agreed, his voice uncharacteristically gentle, "watching her grow up so fast."
"Yeah, it sucks." She looked up at him, shaking her head and giving him a reluctant smile. "Wow, Luke, you're doing a great job of cheering me up. Thanks."
"Oh, is that what I was supposed to be doing?"
"Well, if you were, you're doing a pretty crappy job."
"Thanks," he mumbled.
"No, I'm sorry," Lorelai said quickly. "I didn't mean it like that. Can we just change the subject to something other than my lonely, boring life? Tell me something funny."
He scoffed. "Right."
"Oh, come on, Luke. There must be a good diner anecdote. Or something Taylor did to piss you off today."
He sighed and stared at her skeptically, but to his credit, he paused to think about it as Lorelai watched him, smiling at his thoughtfulness. Before he had a chance to come up with something, however, Babette whirled by on Morey's arm. "Hey, Doll, you hafta get this handsome man on the dance floor."
Lorelai gestured toward him, laughing. "I'm not sure that's possible, Babette."
"Aww, that's too bad," Babette said sympathetically. "I was hoping to see the two of you out here."
Lorelai winked at Luke, then lifted one shoulder in resignation. "Well, what can you do?" she said to Babette, letting out a dramatic sigh.
She was still smiling broadly when she turned back to Luke, only to find him watching her uneasily. "You know," he started hesitantly, "if you really wanted, I guess we could…uh…" He didn't even finish the sentence, instead gesturing toward the dance floor with his thumb.
Her eyes widened at the suggestion, but she waved him off. "No, we don't have to. I know that would pretty much be your own personal version of hell."
He grimaced, stammering, "That's not…It wouldn't be...It might even be nice."
"Careful, or I might start thinking you actually want to dance with me," she teased.
Clearly flummoxed, Luke shook his head and reached for Lorelai's elbow, gently nudging her towards the dancing.
"Luke, we really don't have to-" she started, only to be cut off.
"Shut up," he whispered gruffly, taking a deep breath before he placed one hand gently on her waist and reached for her hand with the other. As she placed her free hand gingerly on his shoulder, she saw Babette almost spin out of Morey's grasp and sprawl on the floor in an effort to give Lorelai an enthusiastic thumbs up.
Lorelai rolled her eyes and let out a nervous chuckle at the intrusiveness. "What?" Luke muttered.
"I'm being congratulated for successfully dragging you out here."
"Jeez. Can't they just mind their own business?" He shuffled his feet stiffly as he moved her in a small circle, clearly uncomfortable.
She couldn't help but agree with him and was touched that he would put himself through this, seemingly just to lift her spirits. To lighten the mood she reminded him, "You were about to tell me a funny diner story."
It took a little prodding, but she was able to coax a Kirk story out of him, and then a Taylor rant, and before she knew it, the song had changed and they were both smiling, considerably more relaxed than they'd been just minutes before.
From across the room, Rory nodded toward Luke and raised her eyebrow, but when Lorelai lifted her shoulder in a tiny shrug, Rory shot her an approving smile.
The third song came and went without any protest from Luke, and Lorelai marveled at his patience. In fact, there was an ease in his smile and, if she wasn't mistaken, Lorelai thought that it seemed as if he were actually enjoying himself. While dancing. With her.
It was a surprisingly pleasant thought.
In the warmth of his arms, she felt comfort, safety, and even let herself consciously acknowledge the more-than-friends feelings she usually kept buried.
She looked up and gave Luke a shy smile. He was no longer holding her at arms length, but when he returned her smile he pulled her close enough that his forearm rested on her lower back and his fingers grazed her hip. Her hand had slipped from his shoulder around his neck.
Without warning, Taylor piped up beside them, "Oh my, Lucas, those dance skills are rusty." He gave them a patronizing smile. "Lucky for you that Lorelai doesn't appear to know any better."
Lorelai jumped to Luke's defense. "Lay off, Taylor. Who appointed you to be the seventh grade gym teacher?"
Taylor just sniffed officiously before walking away.
Luke had reacted by pulling back abruptly and reverting to the stilted and nervous movements he'd been making when they'd first started dancing. Lorelai fumed at the interruption that had pulled Luke away from her. More than that though, she was fed up with the insinuations and attention. It felt like a mockery of the quiet connection that had been building between her and Luke tonight, and she was suddenly determined to do…something to regain control of the situation.
Looking up, she grabbed Luke's hand and dragged him a few feet to the right where Kirk had erected a display to market mistletoe and accessories. Luke gave her a wary look as she placed her hands on his shoulders and leaned in to give him a kiss. Off-balance, she fell against him and he wrapped his arm around her waist to steady her. He responded to the kiss, his warm lips moving over hers; his other hand buried itself in her hair.
Sensing no objection, she looped an arm around his neck and lifted her other hand to his cheek, feeling his stubble prick her palm. She'd almost managed to forget where they were until Kirk yelled triumphantly, "It works! Mistletoe really does bring people together. Step right up to get your very own. I've got nine different varieties and a huge selection of accessories."
Lorelai couldn't even process Kirk's sales pitch, because Luke had stepped away and was looking at her, open-mouthed and breathing heavy. After a long moment of staring, he said in a low whisper, "What the…what the hell was that?"
She couldn't find the words to respond. Kissing Luke had been an impulsive action, something she couldn't fully explain. If she'd had to puzzle it out, she could trace the steps leading to it: the increasingly frequent 'what-if' moments, his kindness and concern, and how comfortable it felt to be in his arms. But those weren't things she could explain to him with an audience. And there was an audience, captive and waiting.
She looked around, nervously licking her lips before putting on a bright smile and suggesting, "Maybe it was time for us to actually give them something to talk about."
Even before the words were fully out of her mouth, she knew she'd chosen poorly. Luke's eyes narrowed and the muscles in his jaw tightened. Clenching his fists, he leaned in and said in a low growl, "Don't mess with me like that." Before she could respond he turned and stormed out of the studio.
The sound of the door sliding shut behind Luke echoed throughout the room. Everyone waited silently for Lorelai's reaction. Summoning up everything she had to cover her humiliation, she looked around and chuckled tentatively. "Huh. That didn't go over as planned. I guess I'll need to rethink the delivery."
Nervous laughter rippled throughout the room, but eventually the crowd turned their attention from Lorelai and returned to their personal conversations. She slowly made her way to the door and slipped out. Pausing on the top step, she pulled her coat closed more out of protective instinct than necessity.
She went down the steps and inhaled a sharp breath when she saw Luke pacing the sidewalk outside the studio. He looked up at her footsteps and his hard expression made her immediately indignant. "What the hell, Luke? You just leave me standing there?"
He scoffed. "You got what you wanted – a little show to entertain the masses." He rocked back on his heels and crossed his arms fiercely across his chest. "Just leave me out of it next time."
"God, Luke. Why are you so angry?"
He lifted his head, pinning her with his gaze. "Because I don't want to be a diversion. I don't want to be the way that you relieve your boredom." He took a long breath in. "I don't want to play games with you."
"Is that what you think," she demanded. "That this is how I get my kicks?"
His stubborn shrug felt like a kick in the gut.
"I can't believe you think that. That I would…I know I'm pretty much a relationship disaster waiting to happen. I won't argue that. But do you really think I would intentionally do anything to hurt you? Do you really think that little of me?"
By the end her voice was barely above a whisper, but in the cool, crisp air the sound carried and the final words hung in the air. He opened his mouth to speak and gestured toward her in the same motion, but the shrill tones of her cell phone rang out in the empty space between them.
"Rory," she said automatically as she pulled the phone from her pocket. Luke gave a small nod. "Hey," she said quietly into the phone as she turned to the side.
"Mom? Are you okay? Where are you?"
"I'm here. Outside. I just needed to get out of there." Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Luke stuff his hands deep into his pockets. He stared at the ground, his shoulders hunched over.
"Mom, you kissed Luke!" The words came out in a rush, as if her daughter had been physically stopping them up with a cork.
"Yeah, I was there."
"Did you mean to?"
"Did I mean to?" Lorelai asked in disbelief. "As opposed to accidentally colliding with his lips?"
"Mom," Rory admonished her, before settling into one of those silences that Lorelai knew would only end with honesty.
"I meant to," she admitted softly, both hoping and fearing that Luke was listening too.
"Are you sure," Rory started cautiously, "you weren't just messing with Luke, or feeling the effects of the punch?"
The implication stung, especially on the heels of the same accusation from Luke. "Is that what everyone thinks of me, that I'm some sort of trampy man-tease?" She heard a little shuffle behind her, as if Luke had started to step toward her and then reconsidered.
"No, Mom, that isn't…"
Lorelai voice wavered as she pleaded with her daughter. "It's Luke. You of all people should understand what he means to us." She drew in a breath and let it out before whispering, "To me."
"I know that." Rory's response was understanding. "But this is big. You kissed him."
For the first time since it had happened, Lorelai let the full knowledge of the kiss sink in. She let everything rush over her again – the sensations, the emotions, the reasons. With it came a genuine smile. "I know. And I want to kiss him again."
"Mom, ewww!" Rory protested.
Lorelai shrugged. "You brought it up."
There was another long pause, during which Lorelai knew that her daughter was processing this new information, figuring out how it fit into their reality. "So," Rory asked lightly, "is he standing right there listening?"
Lorelai glanced over her shoulder at Luke, who was ignoring her a bit too studiously, "Yeah, he's trying to pretend that he's not, but he is."
"Well, if he heard all that, I'm sure you'll have it all worked out soon," Rory said confidently.
"Maybe."
"It will be fine. Good luck, Mom."
"Yeah, thanks kid." Lorelai closed the phone slowly and slipped it into her pocket. She'd been fully aware of Luke's presence while she was talking to Rory, had even said some of what she'd said in the hopes that he'd hear it. It had been easier to admit to her daughter what she felt than to tell Luke, so now the prospect of facing Luke – of wondering what she'd see in his eyes - filled her with nervous anticipation.
She turned in increments, not lifting her head to his until she was completely facing him. When she was, he asked simply, "Really?" His eyes searched hers, full of questions, full of hope.
All she could do at first was give him a small nod, but she finally found her voice. "Really."
He didn't respond right away, just took a deep breath in and out; his voice was low and hoarse when he spoke. "C'mere." Reaching for her elbow, he drew her near, staring for just a moment into her eyes, then lifting his fingers slowly to brush across her cheek. He kissed her with infinite tenderness, cradling her head with his hand and running his thumb back and forth across her cheek. It was soft and gentle and warm, but hinted at something stronger, deeper. Before she'd fully absorbed everything there was to feel he'd pulled back, though his eyes remained locked on hers, conveying without words everything he was offering her.
Lorelai reached up and ran her fingers along his jaw, leaning in…and she was suddenly aware of Kirk standing next to them.
"May I interest you in some portable mistletoe?" He spoke quickly, eagerly. "I have all different kinds of mounting devices. These tall hangers have stakes so that you can plant them in strategic places. Or if you're looking for something more portable there are belt clips or headbands. I'm having a two-for-one spe-"
"Scram, Kirk." Luke's voice was firm and commanding, but he didn't take his eyes off Lorelai.
"But it looks like something is blooming here. I want to get in on the ground floor," Kirk ventured hopefully.
"Kirk. Go." Luke hadn't raised his voice, but the command rang sharper and deeper, and Kirk scurried off without hesitation.
After giving Lorelai the tiniest of smiles, Luke rested his forehead against hers. "I will buy you as much coffee as you want, and the most ridiculous dessert available, as long as we can get out of this town."
She grinned. "So, like a date?"
"As long as I don't lose points if the only thing we can find is a donut shop," he said, squeezing her shoulders gently before sliding his hands down to grasp her fingers.
Laughing, she interlaced one hand with his and let him lead her toward the back of the diner, where his truck was parked. "Oh, you ought to know by now that coffee and donuts would be my idea of a dream date."
Fin