Gai/Kagome
Why does Gai wear that green spandex outfit?
I don't own the characters.

Goddess

Gai strode youthfully down the street alongside Kakashi on his way to meet their students at the training grounds when someone called his name. Turning in the direction of the voice, he spread his arms wide just in time to catch the small woman who was barreling toward him at a rapid pace.

Kakashi thought about continuing on his way and leaving Gai behind, but he had to admit he couldn't tear himself away whenever Kagome was around. Not only was she incredibly beautiful, but she was also rather sweet and adorable, not to mention kind, smart, strong, and one of the best cooks in the village. She also had a delightful sense of humor. When she moved to Konoha a few years ago, she had befriended everyone who crossed her path. There was something charismatic about her cheerfulness which just made everyone around her feel that way, too. To top it all off, she had even bought him the latest book in the Icha Icha series for his birthday and highlighted the passages she thought he would find particularly interesting. She was definitely one of a kind, a goddess. Really, when he thought about it, she honestly was the perfect woman. Or she would be if it weren't for one flaw. And the fact that she was Gai's wife.

"Well, if it isn't my little peach blossom! Your smile puts the sun to shame!"

"Aren't you sweet?" she laughed as he lifted her up and twirled around with her in his arms. "You forgot to tell me what you want for dinner. Hello, Kakashi!"

The copy nin nodded slightly to acknowledge her greeting.

Still holding her off the ground, Gai proclaimed, "How can I possibly think about food when I'm in the presence of your radiant youth? Whatever you fix is bound to be spectacular, my sweet apple dumpling."

Kagome giggled and wrapped her arms around his neck. "You may say you can't think of food in my presence, but your endearments get increasingly food-related when you're hungry. Are you sure you don't have time for lunch?"

Setting her feet back on the ground, but keeping his hands on her waist, Gai gave her a wistful look. "Honeybun, I wish I did have time for lunch, but I wouldn't waste that time on something as mundane as food. I would exercise my youth instead, if you know what I mean," he said, waggling his eyebrows at her.

Seeing the blush on Kagome's cheeks, Kakashi sighed and discreetly stepped back a few steps, looking around to see if anyone else was nearby. He had been around them enough to know what was coming and he would clear away any spectators if he had to, though he thought he had taken care of the problem. No one else needed to know about the one incontrovertible flaw in his perfect woman, his goddess.

"I'll be sure to fix you something nice and sweet for dessert," Kagome whispered as she reached up and cupped Gai's face in her hands and playfully kissed the tip of his nose.

"The only thing I want for dessert is you, my little sugarplum," her husband declared, lifting her in his arms again and kissing her passionately. Kagome responded by locking her arms around his neck and wrapping her legs around his waist.

And there it was. Kakashi sighed again. For some inexplicable reason, his goddess' brain always turned to mush when Gai kissed her. It didn't matter where or when it happened, either. It was like someone flipped a switch and the sweet, adorable little woman became an insatiable, lustful wanton. She would be Kakashi's dream come true and he would gladly tolerate her flaw if her lustful intent were focused on him instead of his would-be rival.

The first time he witnessed this bizarre phenomenon, they had invited him to dinner. He and Gai were already sitting at the table when Kagome brought them something to drink. When she handed Gai his glass and sat down next to him, he had thanked her and leaned over and kissed her. The next thing Kakashi knew, Kagome had straddled Gai's lap and pulled his shirt over his head. He thought they were playing a prank on him at first, until the chair tipped over and she started kissing her way down the man's neck. He had dived out the window. He wasn't sure what was worse—the shock of seeing that his goddess really was the woman of his dreams and knowing she was permanently out of his reach or having Gai smile and apologize for their youthfulness with a wink the next day. Whatever the case, he knew he couldn't let anyone else find out just how incredible the other man's luck really was or they might start thinking Gai was actually way ahead in their rivalry.

And so, he hung around to open closet doors for them to stumble into or have a clone create a diversion whenever the need arose. He had even had to shove the couple into his bathroom and usher the rest of their friends out of his apartment at a Christmas get-together because someone had tied some mistletoe up in his living room. Gai had merely leaned down and kissed his wife gently and the next thing Kakashi knew, she had backed her husband up against a wall and started unbuttoning his shirt. Kakashi had quickly told everyone else to evacuate because he smelled smoke. That was when he knew what to give Gai for Christmas. It was a few years later now, but he still got a bit of perverted satisfaction out of his gift.

He heard a low, feminine growl of frustration and was relieved to see Kagome unwrap herself from the man in green. Heaving a large sigh, she grumbled, "Do you have to wear that outfit?"

"Ah, my little buttercup, you know it was a gift from Kakashi, signifying his eternal admiration and respect for our rivalry. I will forever honor our friendship by wearing it," he declared.

"I know, and it was really sweet of him, but it's impossible to get it off of you," she pouted.

Kakashi smiled to himself.

"I'll tell you what, to make it up to you, I promise to make you shout my name six times before dinner tonight. If I can't do that, I will let you ride me for two hours before I find my own release. If I can't do that, I will pleasure you with my tongue for three hours. If I can't do that, I will take you over and over again until you can't walk tomorrow."

His smile fell. That might explain why she was always so cheerful. Well, he supposed he would just have to take solace in the fact that while everyone agreed that Gai was one lucky guy, they had no idea just how lucky he truly was.

The next day, he saw Gai carrying Kagome through the marketplace. She really was a goddess.