Disclaimer: I do not own Sam, Dean or any of the characters of Supernatural. I only play with them.
Warnings: Character death and swearing
Rating: T for Teen (Just to be safe)
Author's Note: This is a companion piece to Never Made It To Stanford. Both can be read as a stand alone piece though. The only characters that I own are Annabelle and baby Sam. This is un-beta so all spelling/grammar mistakes are mine. Please rate and review, it helps me improve as a writer. Other than that enjoy the story.
When John Winchester found out that his youngest son was dead, he was fighting the demon that killed his wife. It was a warm summer's day when John found Azazel. He didn't so much as find the demon as much as the demon was waiting for him. The demon was sitting in a meadow filled with wild flowers when John found it. It sat there in that flower filled meadow like it didn't have a care in the world. John had spent nearly twenty-nine years trying to hunt the thing down and there it was just sitting there.
"Hello Johnny-boy," the demon drawled.
"Azazel," John barked out. He stood there with the colt aimed at its' head.
"Finally here to kill me? It took you long enough. I was so sure I was going to have to send you a card for a time and place for us to meet."
"Shut up," John yelled.
"Temper, temper, Johnny-boy. I would so hate to have to kill you. You were the most entertaining of all the sheep. I mean the way you effectively destroyed your family, I couldn't have done it better," Azazel said.
"What are you talking about?"
"What? You don't know? Fascinating, I figured little Dean would have been running to daddy about how little Sammy died."
"You're lying, Sam's safe with Dean."
"Keep telling yourself that Johnny-boy. Though I can't wait for the mugger to come to hell. I'll have a lot of fun with him; after all he did ruin my carefully constructed plans."
"What plans?"
"The plans for all the blood fed children. Sammy was always my favorite; too bad he died. Such a wasted life, much like his mother." At the mention of Mary, John raised the colt and fired, killing the demon instantly. Demon's lie, John thought, Demon's lie and Sammy's fine. He repeated that over and over in his head as he disposed of the corpse. The whole time he couldn't seem to shake the feeling that he needed to find his boys and he needed to find them now. As soon as he finished salting and burning the body, John Winchester got in to his truck and went to search for his boys.
John first tried calling Dean only to find that the cell phone had been disconnected. He tried calling Sam's cell phone only to find the same thing. He started to worry when he couldn't reach his boys. One of the first lessons he ever taught his sons was to never be unreachable. For the first time in his life John Winchester was alone. He had never truly been alone before, he always had someone as back up whether it was Sam and Dean, one of his old hunting buddies, and before she was killed, Mary, he always had someone to rely on. Now he was alone.
After two months of searching for his boys with no results, John decided to visit a man that swore he would shoot John if he ever showed his face on his property again. It was time for John Winchester to talk to Bobby Singer. He dreaded facing the old hunter again. Not only was he sure that Bobby would fulfill his promise but he would do so while lecturing the whole time. John thanked every deity there was for the four-day trip. It gave him time to come up with a plan to get the old hunter to help him.
His truck rumbled as it drove down the dirt road that lead to Bobby's house. God I miss the Impala, John thought. Dust and small rocks were kicked up in to the air as the truck came to a stop outside of an old rundown house. There were signs posted everywhere. The largest sign said "Singer Salvage Shop"; the smallest said "No Trespassing." There were old, rusty cars and car frames in the front yard and a high fence that hid the back yard. John got out of his truck and barely took a step towards the house when the front door slammed open reveling an irate Bobby Singer.
"You son of a bitch, you show up now!"
"Bobby?" Bobby didn't hear him. He marched down the flight of steps from the porch until he was nose to nose with John.
"After all that time you show up now? You're a god-awful son of a bitch, Winchester. Now get off my property 'fore I shoot you full of buckshot."
"Bobby I need to find my boys," John pleaded.
"I ain't gonna help you."
"Goddamn it Bobby, they're my boys."
"Haven't been your boys in a long time Winchester," Bobby grumbled.
"Bobby please—"
"Not gonna work this time Winchester. You had a lot of chances, too many then you deserve, to make it right with your boys and you screwed up on all of them."
"It's different now."
"Really, how so?" Bobby said his voice full of sarcasm.
"It's dead. The damned yellow eyed demon is dead."
"Well good for you, idgit. You put that boy through too much now get the hell off my property 'fore I shoot you full of lead," Bobby grumbled as he marched back in to his house.
"What do you mean by boy? What happened to Sam?" John shouted. By then Bobby was inside his house and pretended not to hear John. John stood outside the house in a daze as he tried to comprehend what just happened. All John knew was that Bobby wasn't going to help him. Fueled by anger, John got in to his truck and drove away. Bobby was inside listening for the roar of the truck before he dialed Dean's phone number. A half-awake Dean answered the phone.
"Boy I just talked to your father."
John Winchester was flying down the dirt road. Dirt and small rocks were flung in to the air as the monstrous truck skidded to a stop near the highway. John took a few calming breaths as he tried to get rid of his anger. He needed his boys and he needed them now. He drove for a few hours on the highway before he decided he would stop for the night. He needed a plan on how to get his boys back and being exhausted wasn't helping him. He found a dingy bar and order himself a beer before he headed to the hotel. Without checking his phone he fell asleep on the bed still fully clothed.
The next morning John decided he would go to the Roadhouse Bar. He had a feeling that Ellen would know where Dean and Sam were, he just hoped she wouldn't shoot him the moment she saw him. He and Ellen Harvelle went back to the beginning days of his hunting career. He and her husband, William Harvelle, had been hunting partner once upon a time until a bad hunt happened. John returned and William did not. She had eventually forgiven him but he doubted that she would ever forget. He traveled for three days to get to the Roadhouse Bar.
He got there before the bar opened and decided it would be best to get all the arguing and fighting out now before the other patrons show up. He figured the patrons would help Ellen if a real fight broke out between them. Steeling himself he went and opened up the door. It took a moment for his eyes to adjust to the darkness of the bar. Once they did he saw a young man sleeping on the pool table. He hardly took a step when he heard the cocking of a shotgun. He turned towards the bar and saw Ellen aiming a Remington 870 shotgun at his head.
"Hello Ellen."
"John Winchester about damn time you showed up," Ellen snapped. She still had the shotgun aimed at John.
"Are you going to lower the shotgun," John asked.
"I'm still thinking about it." John shrugged and sat down at the bar.
"I need to find my boys."
"That you do Winchester."
"I need help finding my boys Ellen."
"Now that is a problem cause I ain't helping you."
"El please, I need to find my boys," John pleaded.
"You should have thought of that before you left them."
"You don't understand El! I found and killed it. The demon, I killed it."
"Well good for you John Winchester but that don't mean I'm gonna help you. You left that boy all alone Winchester and you don't deserve no ones help in finding him." John stared at Ellen and realized that she meant what she said. No way, no how was she going to help him.
"Is this guy bothering you mom," a voice from behind John spoke up.
"No Joanna Beth, he's just passing through. Isn't that right John?"
"John. John as in John Winchester?"
"Why do you want to know?" John snapped, turning around. Behind him stood a pretty young girl with blond hair, who was clearly related to Ellen. She smiled sweetly and tuned a bit as if she was leaving before she turned and punched John right out of his seat.
"That's for Dean you son of a bitch," the girl screeched.
"Joanna Beth Harvelle you go and stock that stock room right now," Ellen shouted. Joanna glared at John before she stomped off to the stock room. The man who was asleep on the pool table was now awake and looking around.
"Sorry about her, she gets her temper from her father."
"I'd say she gets her temper from her mother," John grumbled. Ellen glared at him but the glare had a more friendly feeling to it then the one Joanna gave him.
"What do you say Ellen, will you help me find my boys?"
"You already know my answer John."
"These are my boys Ellen. I need to see my boys."
"I'll help you," the man who once occupied the pool table said.
"Ash," Ellen warned.
"It's all cool. Dean already knows he's looking for him. Called yesterday and said I could tell him." To John the man sounded like he was drunk, high, or both.
"Well?" John prompted. He wanted the information and he wanted it now.
"He lives in Logan Colorado," Ash answered.
"Thanks."
"No problem. And good luck." John gave a slight nod towards Ash as he turned to leave.
"Hey Winchester," Ellen called. John turned and looked at her. "Don't ever come back here again." John scowled as he barged out through the door. As soon as John's taillights were out of sight, Ellen went to the phone and called Dean.
"He's on his way, honey."
John spent most of the night driving before he found a small hidden away motel off the highway. He rented a room for a night and thought of what he learned that day. He finally knew where Dean was. But what worried him was that no one spoke about Sam. He hoped that his youngest son didn't do anything stupid. It had been nearly two years since he last saw Dean and six years since he saw Sam. That night he dreamed of chasing both Dean and Sam. In his dream he would get so close to his two sons but then they would just slip away.
The next morning John woke up and ate at the local restaurant before he headed to off to Logan Colorado. The waitress was kind enough to give him a free cup of coffee before he headed on his long trek. For the next five days John drove hard to the Colorado border. A day later he arrived in Logan. The following day he tracked down Dean. He found his son working at the local garage shop the same way he used to when Mary was alive. He followed his son to his house. He saw a pretty woman holding a baby greet Dean. He watched as his son gave the woman a kiss and ruffled the baby's nearly non-existent hair.
John sat in his truck for a good hour before he decided to face Dean. He got out of his truck and walked up the porch stairs. He hesitated for a moment before he rang the doorbell. A few moments passed before the door opened reveling Dean.
"Hey son it's been awhile," John said.
"Yeah, it has been dad."
"Babe, who's at the door?" the woman's voice called from with in the house.
"It's my dad, Annabelle."
"Well have him come in. I always wanted to meet your family." Dean stepped aside letting his father enter his home. John entered the house and realized how homey it felt. Dean found himself a new family and for a moment John was jealous. He was jealous that his son moved on while he searched for the monster that took away his mother. That took away his wife. It was a nice house with a large foyer that led to the large kitchen in the back. On his left was a small parlor room that held a couch and two chairs. It had light blue walls and a wood floor covered by a lilac rug. The room connected to a dinning room that also had the same wood floor. The room had golden walls along with a golden rug that covered most of the floor. There was a large table that sat up to ten people. There was also a liquor cabinet as well as a china cabinet that displayed liquors and fine china.
The dinning room connected to the kitchen had light blue, flowered linoleum floors. The walls were painted a soft green that went well with the cabinets and kitchen appliances. To the right of John was a staircase leading to the upstairs as well as a carpeted room with a couch, a television, a coffee table, and a lazy boy chair. The room was also littered with baby toys. The room was painted a light blue like the parlor room. John walked forward and noticed a small bathroom under the stairs. When he got to the kitchen he noticed a closed door, which he assumed led to the basement of the house. Annabelle had finished setting an extra place for John to eat. She pulled up a chair and asked whether he wanted milk or water.
"Water," John answered. She was a pretty woman with dark chestnut hair and dark green eyes. The baby was strapped in to the highchair and was busy drinking his bottle of milk. Dean came in and ruffled the baby's hair.
"Hey champ, how was your day?"
"He had a wonderful day, honey. He helped mommy with cooking and cleaning and reading," Annabelle answered.
"Did he miss daddy?"
"Of course he did. He cried for good hour after daddy left." John studied the babe and could see the mix of Dean and Annabelle in him. He had Annabelle's hair and nose but Dean's green eyes. Annabelle noticed John studying the child and decided it was time for grandfather and grandson to meet. She went to the baby and lifted him out of the highchair.
"John would you like to meet your grandson. His name is Samuel after his uncle." John felt his eyes start to sting with held back tears. Unable to talk, John simply nodded. Gently Annabelle handed the curious child to John. He held the baby and couldn't help but think of when Dean and Sam were born. The baby was so small yet so strong. John was so entrapped by Sam that he failed to notice Dean mouthing thank you to Annabelle. After dinner was finished Annabelle took Sam upstairs to get ready for bed, leaving John and Dean alone.
"Do you need to stay the night," Dean asked.
"No Dean I don't. I rented a room at a nearby hotel. So are you and Annabelle . . ."
"Yeah. She's my wife," Dean answered the unasked question.
"For how long?"
"Almost a year now." As John looked around the house he noticed that there were no recent pictures of Sam.
"It's been awhile since we last talked but have you seen Sam?"
"Yeah. We can go visit him tomorrow," Dean said. John failed to catch the sad tone in his voice.
"That's great. It's been a long time since I've seen him. I wonder how much he's grown? Ah well, guess I'll be able to see tomorrow," John said as he walked out the door. "What time should we see him?"
"We can visit at four."
"Thank you son," John said as he made his way to his truck. Once he vanished from sight Dean went back inside to find Annabelle standing in the living room.
"Everything okay honey?" Dean didn't say anything and just wrapped his arms around her and cried.
The next morning John awoke bright and early. Today he was going to see his youngest son. Today he was finally going to see Sam again. It had been six long years since he saw Sam walking out the door. And for those six years he wanted to apologize. Now that Azazel was dead, he wanted to be a family again. He wanted to hold his baby boy and say how proud he was of him and Dean. He wanted to tell Sam that he was sorry for forcing him to choose between Stanford and family. Most of all he wanted to see both Sam and Dean happy.
The whole day was spent in anticipation of meeting Sam. He went over and over in his head how he would say sorry. He prepared himself for rejection but hoped that it wouldn't come to that. After he got breakfast he went to the local bookstore and searched around for the perfect book for Sam. It was a law book that he thought Sam might need. He also went and looked for a book on car mechanics for Dean. He couldn't wait to see the surprise on both of his boys' faces. Finally three thirty rolled around. He drove to Dean's house and found Dean in the front sitting on the hood of the Impala.
"Ready?" Dean called. John got in to the car in response.
"God I missed this car," John said as Dean started the car. The two men pealed out of the driveway and headed out of the neighborhood. John and Dean sat in silence as they drove to the edge of town. John frowned when Dean turned in to a cemetery. The night guard said "Back again Dean?"
"Yeah," Dean said. He drove through the cemetery until he came to a maple tree. He parked the car and got out. John watched as he walked over to a gravestone. Feeling dread fill him, John quickly got out of the car.
"Dean? Dean where's Sam?"
"Right here dad," Dean answered. John walked over to Dean and read the grave. Carved in granite stone: Sam Winchester; Born May 2, 1983; Died August 2001; for all those who are unremembered.
"What is this Dean? Is this some kind of joke?"
"No joke dad. Sam's dead. Been dead for six years now."
"How?"
"A mugging gone wrong. At least that's what the police report says. Didn't even make it to California. Two restaurant workers found him in the ally behind the restaurant. He didn't have any ID on him and no one was looking for him. A pastor from the local parish started a donation for a headstone. It was to remind the people of those who don't have family or a home. It was for all those unremembered. He never did make it to Stanford."
"How—"
"When you went missing I went to bring Sammy for the ride. When I got there no one knew who he was. It took me two years before I found him. I met Annabelle while I was looking for him. When I found out that he was buried here, I went to the local pastor to see if I could change the headstone. I changed the name and gave his birth date and death date. I kept the rest though, it seemed fitting."
"How is for all those who are unremembered fitting?" John shouted, a few tears falling down his cheeks.
"Because he was unremembered for four years," Dean said quietly. "No one knew who he was, whether he was a good person or a bad person. They only had a body."
"So it was telling the truth," John mumbled.
"Hmm?"
"Before Azazel, the yellow eyed demon, died it said that Sam was killed in a mugging. I didn't believe him at the time. I thought he was just trying to keep me from killing him. But he was telling the truth the whole time."
"So you finally killed the thing that killed mom?" Dean asked not sounding remotely interested.
"Yeah, a few months ago."
"Good for you dad. Too bad your revenge destroyed the rest of your family."
"Dean?"
"Sam died alone because you couldn't accept that he wanted something different, something that didn't involve hunting."
"What about you Dean?"
"I called you dad. Almost everyday I called you. I begged you to come back. Pleaded for you to help me find Sam. You never answered. When I found Sam it broke me. Lucky for me Annabelle helped me through it all. She told me of her own past and how she lost her little sister and how she had to keep going. She helped me a lot."
"Does she know about hunting?"
"Yeah. I saved her from a ghost once and she demanded that I teach her. I told her that it was dangerous but she just said 'so is everything else in the world' and that teaching her would protect her more."
"Do you still hunt?" John asked as reality set in. His baby was dead.
"On occasion. Nothing too dangerous or too far away. Annabelle was accepted the hunting way of life but refused to allow me to become obsessed with it. She makes sure I take vacations away from hunting."
"Dean hunting—"
"I don't want to hear it. I don't want to be you. I don't want become so obsessed with hunting that I can't see what I already have. And I don't want Sam to grow up like I did; living in motel rooms, always scared that dad might not come home tomorrow."
"I'm still your father."
"No you gave that up the moment you left. I've had enough of hunting. It killed my mother, killed my brother and took away my dad."
"Dean—"
"No dad. This is goodbye. The yellow-eyed demon is dead. I don't need a reason to continue hunting. I have a family waiting for me. I have a loving wife and a son who needs a father and not a hunter. Have a good life dad, just don't count on me being in it a lot." John watched as Dean got into his car and drive away. The two books fell from his hands on to the cold, hard ground. He fell to his knees in front of Sam's grave crying. He realized that he lost both sons that night.
Eventually he would stop crying. He would stand and pick up the two books that were for his sons. He would walk to the guardhouse and call for a cab. He would be driven though Logan and into Dean's neighborhood. He would get in to his truck and drive away. He knew that he wouldn't see Dean for many years. But for now he just kneeled in front of his son's grave a cried. He cried for Sam, for Mary, for Dean and he cried for himself. John Winchester knew that Azazel was right. The demon might have killed Mary that fateful night but it was John Winchester who destroyed his family.
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