Hey guys!
As you may (or may not) know, my first language is French and this story is translation of a fanfiction I initially wrote in french. It was quite hard since it was only the second time I tried to translate a story from French to English! Besides, this one is kind of long, it was a real challenge for me!
Soooo, there are mistakes in it, a lot I guess. I hope you'll be indulgent and will read anyway. I'm really sorry about that, I'm still learning. Forgive me!
Don't wait for me
As the two suns of planet P3X-501 were setting, SG1 team was approaching the Stargate. Their exploration had been quite boring and calm. Except the fight between Sam and her defective electronic devices, there had been nothing to report, no threatening animals nor spirits, Daniel was still alive, Jack had not been attacked by an ancient library… In short, a real easy ride for the best SGC team.
These missions were by far the favourites of Jack O'Neill. Of course he liked being put into mortal danger and running for his life, it was thrilling. But he had to admit that he loved as well the quiet walks through a friendly world from time to time.
He was looking forward to go back home and enjoy his two days off, well deserved after 3 weeks of intense battle against Goa'ulds. He would go to Minnesota and would invite Carter, as he always does. And as she always does, she would politely decline. He knew she would say no but he loved asking her anyway, to remind her she would always be welcomed. Besides, she always wore this cute smile that revealed her true desire, that were screaming that yes, she would love to join him to his cottage.
In fact, everyone in the team was looking forward these few days off. Teal'c, who was away from his son for too long, had decided to go to Chulak to visit him. Someone trained enough, could even detect some signs of delight in the behaviour of the Jaffa. And God knew that was rare.
_What time is it? asked Daniel, confused by the two suns of the planets.
_Well Danny boy, it's all relative, here it's around 7pm, in Chulak it's… Jack said, asking the Jaffa by a sign of head.
_Where Ria'c lives, it's 4am O'Neill.
_...4 am, on Abydos, it's noon. On… he continued, very amused.
_Jack! Daniel said visibly very annoyed.
_What ? I didn't say anything wrong !
The archaeologist, who was desperate about Jack's behaviour, turned to Sam for her help. The concerned seemed not aware of his distress.
_The hours Sam, for God's sake!
_Oh! On Earth I suppose? she finally said.
Daniel sighed in front of the goofy smile of Jack.
_Yes, on Earth…
_Well, it's all relative Daniel, she said watching her watch, it's currently 6pm in Paris, 9am in Vancouver, 1am In Sydney,…
Recovering from the surprise to hear Sam joking, Jack couldn't help but laugh out loud when he saw the pouting face of his friend.
_Honestly, I grow tired of both of you! growled Daniel.
Sam smiled to her CO when their friend walked away from them. Then, she felt guilty about it and ran after him.
_I'm sorry Daniel, it's 1pm at Cheyenne's Mountain, she said teasingly.
He glared at her, muttering thanks. If he wanted so badly to know the time, it was because he too, wanted to enjoy his weekend as much as possible. He planned to go to a scientist meeting about something that Jack could have called a dusty and ugly piece of crap. For him, it was like Christmas.
Sam slowed her pace so she could walk next to her CO again.
_You're too gentle with him, he said.
_I know, but at least one of us has to be, don't you think?
_Fair enough, he said smiling.
XxXxXx
The gate was only 2 miles left when Sam, who was thinking about the results she got from her experiences earlier that day, had the awful feeling she had forgotten something. She froze, dropped her bag on the floor and searched furiously in it. She cursed herself, because yes, she had forgotten the 10.000$ worth material into the cave they explored earlier that day.
_What's the matter Carter? Jack asked, wondering what the hell she was doing.
She hesitated, and then she added shyly:
_I think I might have forgotten the material into the cave…
_You mean the cave that is 20 miles away? he rumbled.
She slowly nodded. Jack rubbed his hand over his face, an obvious sign of his irritation.
_I guess we can't just lose this material?
Sam shook her head. Her CO sighed heavily, he would not enjoy his weekend in Minnesota after all.
_For crying out loud Carter, he growled, you had to realize that when we are only one miles left from the Gate!
She lowered her head, feeling sorry and guilty.
_Daniel, Teal'c you go back to Earth, tell General Hammond we go back to the cave.
It would have been selfish to ask Daniel and Teal'c to stay with them since they had something really important planned for the weekend. Jack didn't want to ruin their days off if he could prevent it.
_You sure it's a good idea Jack ? We could ask another team to bring back the material.
_I forgot it Daniel, nobody has to make up for my mistakes, Sam said.
_We will have to stop for the night, so we should be back by tomorrow evening. This planet is uninhabited, we'll be fine.
_Well, be careful you two, the archaeologist said with a gentle smile.
_Major Carter, Colonel O'Neill, nodded respectfully Teal'c.
Jack and Sam watched their friends moving away. When they disappeared from their sights, Jack turned to his 2IC. She glared at him, waiting for his orders.
_All right major, let's go, we have quite a walk ahead of us.
XxXxXx
They had only walked half the way to the cave when the suns completely disappeared behind the horizon. A shining blue moon took place in the sky. They set the camp onto an open field and had the bad surprise to discover that their sleeping bag were in Daniel's backpack. So they started up a fire to find a little warmth in this cold night.
They didn't talk a lot during this evening, being once more far away from home did nothing to brighten their mood. Besides, when it was just the two of them, the situation was always kind of tricky. They never lost control of it, but sometimes they just got too close to the border that was delimiting their complicated relationship. It wasn't much, just a significant word or a glance, nothing forbidden. But if they allowed this kind of things, it would be too hard to restrain themselves later, to pretend there really was nothing more than a deep friendship between them. The most they got close, the most they backed away from each other. They knew they always get hurt in the process but they kept doing it anyway. As if they were dependents from each other.
And of course, talking about that was out of the question. They would never admit having this kind of thoughts. They became master at lying about their feelings.
So they just laid on the floor and fell asleep without a word.
XxXxXx
The lights of dawn waked Jack up. He sat and stretched lazily. He yawned, thinking about his bed in his house. It seemed like he hadn't sleep in it for years. He glanced toward his second, and smiled tenderly at the sight before his eyes, she was still asleep at the other side of the campfire, looking like a little girl that would have sleep in the open for the first time. Her hair was messed up around 1-her pouting face. He didn't dare to wake her up, so he put things in order around the camp, hoping she would awake by herself in a few moments.
But she didn't. He was surprised, was it because she was exhausted or because she felt safe with him that her soldier's vigilance was off? Normally, all soldiers in the USAF were always on the edge, ready to fight in a second. It had even become an extinct. But Sam definitely didn't want to follow this rule today.
Being able to really watch her so closely was so rare that he took a moment to do so. He would never dare to observe her like this if she was awake, he respected her too much for that. But he could really just glance at her for hours, watching her forms, her face, wondering how it felt to touch her delicate skin.
Did Daniel and Teal'c really think the shifts order was decided randomly? Why would they think Jack always had his shift before Sam's if not to watch her sleepy face before waking her up by a small press on her shoulder? He loved watching her blue eyes opening to meet his own. And every single time, she was affectionately smiling at him before standing up. When he was closing his eyes, to rest after his shift, it was always thanks to this smile that he could fall asleep peacefully.
Well, Danny boy and T sure weren't aware of that, but there was another reason Jack wanted this particular shift order. He was always waking Sam up 10 minutes late. His time, it was the only thing he was allowed to offer her.
He remembered the conversation they had a night about that specific topic, just when he had woken her up. He wasn't sleepy so he just joined her next to the campfire.
_Why do you always wake me up late Sir? She asked.
He faked to be surprised when he took a look at his watch.
_Beg you pardon Carter? Oh yeah, I guess my watch is a bit late, he said.
_Well, fix it up then.
He just shrugged, looking annoyed.
_That's an old watch, always ends up late.
_Yeah the watch the boys and me offered you last year is quite old sure, she pouted absolutely not fooled.
He glanced at her for some minutes, cursing himself to be such a moron and cursing her to be so damn observant. When she turned to him with a teasing smile, it was clear she thought she had won the battle.
_Yeah well, not my fault if the gifts I receive are defectives ! Anyway, good night Major! Don't forget to wake Space Monkey up in 2 hours, I can hear him snoring from here, he said before walking away from his second who was quietly laughing.
Before he entered his tent, he turned around and saw Sam smiling brightly at the stars above her. She was looking like an angel.
That night, he slept like a log.
That was at this exact moment Sam woke up. And, as she felt the teasing glance of her CO, she did what she had always done: she smiled tenderly at him.
_Lemme guess, your favourite animal is the sloth! He said while she sat up.
Her smile grew larger, for the happiness of Jack.
_I prefer by far the lioness, they seem lazy at first sight, but just wait to see them hunt their prey down.
And with that she walked pass him, he could see the spark in her eyes challenging him to say anything.
He decided to let her win, for now.
XxXxXx
The journey to the cave was long and painful, because with no warning, the clouds darkened and it began to rain so heavily that they were completely wet. The wind was blowing so hard they could barely walk against it.
When they thought the situation couldn't be worse, they heard thunders. A storm was approaching them. The sky was so dark they could think it was night. Nature was not in the mood, and they had nowhere to hide from it as the nearest shelter was the cave that was still 4 miles away. The gate was far too away to even think about it, so they just prayed they could reach the cave before the storm reaches them.
They fought for more than an hour against the Nature's anger when they eventually let themselves fall onto the floor of the cave. They were exhausted, soaking wet, shivering but alive. They arrived just in time : the thunderstorm was just above them, lightning were tearing up the sky in a bright flash. Thunders were so loud than the walls of the cave were shaking.
They made eye contact and sighed tiredly.
_Nice place! Haven't you said the weather was great in this planet? Jack bitterly said while he took off his wet jacket.
_I'm not meteorologist, she mumbled sharply.
He groaned. The good mood of the morning was gone with the nice weather. They stayed a long time sitting in the floor, saying nothing. The thunderstorm was not ready to leave yet, it was even worse.
Tired of doing nothing, Jack stood up, took his flashlight and walked further into the cave under the indifferent eyes of Sam.
Then, his voice seemed to come from the deep down of the cave.
_Carter, I found your damned things!
Sam rose, with all this mess she had completely forgotten why they were here in the first place. She joined her CO and immediately realised they had come back for nothing : the electronic devices had been destroyed by an avalanche.
She let out a growl of frustration.
_No need to bring that back to the SGC, it's unfixable, she groaned.
Jack watched her in shock.
_You mean you made us walk through a tornado and lose a day off for nothing? He said harshly.
Sam frowned at her not-so-subtle CO's reproach.
_It's not a tornado, it's a thunderstorm, she corrected snappily.
They faced each other. He was taller than her, but she wasn't afraid of a challenge. None of them wanted to lower the eyes.
_Yeah, great, tornado or thunderstorm, same thing to me. We're still trapped in this stupid cave. No weekend for us because of you.
_I'm sorry, I sometimes forget how extraordinary your weekends are, fishing in a pond what an awesome activity! Moreover, when there are no fish in it!
_Lake Carter, it's a lake! And at least I have an activity; I don't lose myself in my job!
The atmosphere was becoming more and more tensed with time passing through, the wrath of one was feeding the other's and they finally reached the point where they weren't thinking about what they were saying anymore.
_Science doesn't wait, I work to find solutions to the world's problems! She defended herself.
_Aah sciences, what best excuse than science? You always have some stupid experiences ready to use as a pretext to hide yourself, don't you Carter?
Her eyes still locked on his, she thought this fight was not about a stupid tornado anymore, it was about settling scores.
_Hide from what?
She immediately regretted asking this question, she knew the answer but she wasn't sure she could hear it from Jack's voice. But it was too late to back up.
_From life Sam! He shouted, losing his self-control.
She stayed still before she couldn't help but lower her glance. She was hurt, he could saw it. Jack closed his eyes and breathed deeply, trying to calm himself
_Listen Carter, I didn't mean to… he said in a murmur before being interrupted by her 2IC who raised her hand.
A bitter smile appeared on her face and Jack never felt so bad and guilty to have talked to her like that.
_You think I live only for my job, don't you? You think I don't have a family, no friends except the ones in the SGC… Well, you're right, absolutely right, she said with an assurance she didn't feel, and you know why?
He met her eyes and got lost in the ocean he found inside them. She was like an open book to him, he could see the distress in her eyes. And the fact he was the cause of this pain was a thought he couldn't stand.
He shook his head.
_Cause I'm waiting… she whispered.
At this very moment, he was the one who wanted to look away. He didn't want to see the sadness he was causing to the woman he was thinking all day long.
_Who are you waiting for?
_You know it all too well.
Of course he knew. Did he want to hear the answer out loud ? He wasn't sure.
_You're going to wait a long time, he replied feeling sorry.
_I will wait as long as it takes. And if the moment never comes, then I will have no regrets. I prefer waiting all my life than giving up and always wonder if things would have been different if I had done things in a different way.
He didn't know if it was because of Sam's word or the cold that he shivered. They were facing each other as they did on this special mission, the one that changed everything between them, when Sam was trapped on the other side of a magnetic field. They had to deal with their feeling, admit them in front of everybody. But today… today she was just inches away from him.
_Carter, I…
A loud thunder that cracked just above them interrupted him. Next thing they knew, the ground was shaking. The walls were vibrating furiously. They watched each other for a moment. The noise was becoming louder, some rocks were falling from the ceiling around them.
With no further thinking, Jack grabbed his 2IC by her neck and tackled her on the ground. She let out a moan more of surprise than pain when her back hit the floor. She hadn't had the time to realise what was happening. He was protecting her as much as he could by making his body a shield.
Sam screamed something that he couldn't hear. He was too focused at staying alive. Seconds were like hours to them, the earthquake seemed to never end and the rocks falling around them were always bigger.
Suddenly, Sam felt all the weight of Jack on her, she screamed his name when she finally understood he had collapsed, probably hurt by a rock.
And then, she saw a big stone coming from the ceiling, directly at her. She hadn't had the time to even feel the pain, she joined instantly her CO into the darkness.
The ground was still shaking, impassive.
XxXxXx
When Jack opened his eyes, the first thing he felt was the intense pain all over his body. He didn't dare to move, the pain was far too much to handle. Breathing had become a challenge which was burning his chest at every inhalation.
He then realised the weight that was laying on him and were preventing him to move. He found the strength to look up and memories came back in a flash when he saw the entry of the cave completely blocked by rocks. And then, he saw Sam, still unconscious.
His heart skipped a beat when he saw the blood on her forehead. She was badly hurt. He fought against the pain to free his hand trapped under a big stone. He gritted his teeth and restrained himself from screaming when he finally freed his arm.
His trembling hand approached Sam's face, he tried to wipe the blood away of her cheek but only managed to add more of his own. He forced himself to breathe deeply, to find a normal cardiac rhythm back. He gently shook his 2IC.
_Carter! Wake up ! For crying' out loud wake up !
He tried a few more time but Sam didn't open her eyes. He let his head drop in the only place he could : in the crook of Sam's neck. He stayed a long moment like this, at the limit of consciousness. He knew if he gave himself to sleep, he would probably never wake up. He knew how bad his health condition was, the fact he had difficulties to breath was due to some broken ribs that caused a lung perforation. His left leg was also broken and he had a terrible headache. Well, saying that he was not in a good shape was an understatement.
To not lapse into a coma, he decided to occupy himself and began to remove the rocks away from them. The pain he was feeling was terrible but at least, it kept him awake.
After one or two hours, he had no ideas, Sam coughed weakly before opening her eyes. She moaned and met Jack's eyes.
She seemed completely disoriented, Jack's smile reassure her.
_Hi… she said in a hoarse whisper.
_Hi, he replied happy to hear her voice.
She tried the best she can to smile before turning her glance around them.
_Sir, where are we?
_You don't remember ?
She slowly shook her head.
_Well, I remember the thunderstorm, the earthquake but I have no idea why we're here.
_Doesn't matter Carter, he whispered.
Then, she took the time to evaluate their situation. Bad was the only word she could think of. She took a worried look at Jack, she could perfectly see he was suffering, his breathing was irregular and hard, he had a bloody wound on his head. No need to be doctor to know he was in a really bad shape.
Jack was following the worried eyes of his 2IC on his body.
_Carter… he whispered without gaining her attention, Carter! He said louder.
She looked up at him. She wanted to say something but he spoke first:
_I'll be okay.
She swallowed before nodding.
_How are you? He asked.
Sam closed her eyes and focused on her own body. Adrenalin had shut the pain down but now that she was calmed, she could feel every part of her body hurting like hell.
_My left arm is broken and my head… My head hurts so much, she moaned.
_Ok, can you move your right arm ?
She wriggled a moment, groaning from pain but eventually managed to free her right hand.
_Good, help me to put these damned rocks away from us.
She nodded and they began to free themselves.
XxXxXx
Soon enough, the top of their bodies and their heads were freed so they could move a bit.
They realised how bad was their injuries, Sam had an ugly open fracture. With time passing through, she had presented some other curious symptoms. She couldn't stand the noise anymore, it was like her ears had become extra delicate. She passed out two or three times. Not for a long time but Jack was still very worried about it. And once, she had had some difficulties to express herself and to make a correct sentence.
Jack's state was still the same, hard time to breathe. Recently, he had spitted some blood and was feeling weaker than ever. Despite the closeness with Sam, his body was drastically cooling down.
It was impossible to say which one was the most badly hurt, but it was crystal clear they were both at death's door if rescue didn't come soon.
_Sir… whined Sam, fighting against sleep.
_Carter, don't fall asleep. Rescue is coming, just hang on, he replied slowly.
_The time they will need to set up a… she was searching her words, a rescue mission, she eventually sighed.
Jack waited for the end of her thought but it never came. Sam seemed to just have forgotten her sentence.
_Carter, you haven't finished your phrase.
She looked at him, stunned.
_I think I have a brain concussion Sir…
Jack sighed heavily.
_And that means…? He dared asking.
_That I won't see the cavalry coming to save us.
He looked up at her face and locked his eyes to hers. He could see she was exhausting, desperate and had lost courage.
_I refuse to hear that Major.
She closed her eyes, shaking her head.
_My memory lost, my… super… extra sensitiveness to light and noises, my difficulties to speak, everything lead to brain concussion, she said with hesitance.
Jack thought that none of his injuries was as hurtful as seeing Sam having to focus as hell to just form a correct sentence.
_Hang on Carter, it's an order, he just said.
He tenderly touched her cheek and smiled. He didn't even want to think about her dying in his arms.
They had to do something, anything, they absolutely had to stay in movement. So they kept putting away the rocks which were trapping their legs. With a bit of luck, they would forget for a time their desperate situation, they would forget the death angel prowling around them, wondering which one of them he would take first.
XxXxXx
After a short moment, Jack was just tempted by discouragement and exhaustion. He had neither the strength nor the will to do anything. So he just let his head fall into Sam's neck, who closed her eyes. Why fighting? They were trapped in that cave anyway. It was no use.
They were going to die. They better face the reality. They were at death's door, he could just knock on and all of that crap would be over. He didn't care, he was giving up.
With his lips, he could feel Sam's pulse and he thought it was the most beautiful thing he had ever felt. The regularity of Sam was like a lullaby, he could close his eyes just now, and he would fall asleep forever. It was as simple as that.
Nothing mattered at that moment. He was going to die in the embrace of the woman he loved. The only wish he still had, was closing his eyes before he felt Sam's rhythm shutting down, closing his eyes while feeling her pulse, closing his eyes before she does it.
That was selfish, he realised it but with a bit of luck, she had fallen asleep too.
When he was about to fall into unconsciousness, a voice brought him back to reality.
_Sir! Don't fall asleep, please, she sobbed.
She sighed of relief when she felt her CO moving his head and his irregular breath against her skin.
_Can't even die in peace in here… he groaned.
_Sir, I remembered something. I have some tretonin in… my bag.
He looked up at her, knowing what she was implying. Of course, the tretonin she always had for Teal'c in case he needs it. It would make them survive until the rescue comes. Hope again. Humans were amazing. Just a word, a glance, a move could change everything. All they needed was a hope.
_Where?
_Just promise me one thing, she said.
He frowned.
_Carter, for crying out loud!
_You go take the bag and you use the… the tretonin on you, she whispered.
Jack's heart skipped a beat. Just one dose of the magic potion… In other words, she was asking him to live and to let her die.
_No way Carter, you need it.
_I'll be fine, I'll wait.
He swallowed hard, she was lying. He knew it, and she did too.
He took some times to think about it before nodding.
_Promise? She asked.
He said nothing, refusing to promise something he couldn't fulfil. She raised an eyebrow, he knew she wouldn't take no for an answer. He then looked away before giving his word.
She told him where the bag was. Fortunately it was only feet from them, thanks God. He worked even harder to free his legs and threw his last strengths into the battle. He was spitting his lungs, his T-shirt's neck was covered by dark blood. But he didn't care, he had to reach this bag, even if it was the last thing he did.
Worried about Sam's health, he tried to bend on his knees without hurting her too much. But his leg was broken and he fell down on his side, groaning in pain.
_Sir…
He coughed heavily, spitting some blood on Sam's shirt. He managed to rise up. He had in mind just one thought: reach the bad, find the tretonin. The hope of life was stronger than any pain.
Nothing is more powerful than an idea, who said that? He didn't remember, he would ask Daniel if he had the chance to.
Inch by inch, he eventually reached the bag and freed it from all the stones, it was the last effort he would have to do. He almost screamed of triumph when he opened it. He first found a bottle of water and immediately drank half of it, happy to get rid off this disgusting blood taste. He then threw the bottle to Sam.
_Carter! He panted, I found your bag!
His heart seemed to stop for a moment when he heard no answers. He swallowed hard, he was scared. She couldn't have left him while he was away, she had no right. Jack called her again. And then, a low voice came to his ears.
_Take the thing in… the right pocket I think…
Relieved to know her alive, he followed her instruction and found two syringes. He couldn't help but smile brightly.
_Carter! There are two syringes! He said full of hope.
_One of them is just a sedative… she said, sad to ruin the moment.
Jack closed his eyes, he had hoped so much… The distress of their situation hit him in the face. One of them was going to die. Their condition let no doubt about that.
He was angry at the SGC, they were so slow! What were they doing? They had had the time to reach the cave, had stayed unconscious and had waited for hours now. They should be here! Nobody is left behind at the SGC! Rage was flooding him, they were suffering so much, the pain was terrible for both of them, and they were all alone! One of them was going to die and was going to leave the other for ever. This situation had to happen to them, it was always them anyway. They both had a hard life, a life dedicated to other. They were in love, and yet, they couldn't admit it to each other. Life was so fucking unfair. As not being able to love each other was not enough anymore, life had to separate them.
_Daniel, Teal'c, anybody, please… he implored.
He quickly pulled himself together and breathed deeply. One dose of tretonin? Didn't matter, back to plan A. It changed nothing.
He took the two syringes and crawled toward his 2IC, who had moved to get closer to him. Even wounded to death, Sam wanted to be in action.
_Why the hell did you move, what does it change exactly? He asked.
_It changes that you have one foot less to do, she replied with a smile.
She knew she was going to die, but knowing that Jack was going to live made her happy, and this idea eased the atrocious pain. She was watching him, covered by blood, exhausted, weak and her heart ached to see him like that. But she could also see all his courage, all his determination. And that was what she liked about him, this spark into his eyes, the one that were defying death itself.
She gently put her hand in his neck. She smiled tenderly at him and kissed him shyly on the cheek.
_Which one is the sedative? He asked.
She focused and chose one of the syringes. He opened it and took a rapid look at her.
_Sir… I'd like you to know that…
She stopped when her CO rolled onto her and found back the position he had left some minutes ago.
_I know Carter, he whispered in her ear.
He felt her shivering under him.
_Tell Cassie I'm sorry, she sobbed.
Jack closed his eyes, enjoying the last moment of closeness with Sam. He breathed slowly, his nose buried in her hair. Her smell gave him the courage he needed to execute his plan.
_You tell her for me… he sighed.
He didn't give her the time to think. Without trembling, his hand which was holding the syringe went down on her thigh. He quickly pushed the medicine inside her body.
When she felt the needle penetrated her skin, Sam moaned. She understood too late, how foolish of her!
She wanted to get out of his embrace and struggled against him with a strength that even surprised her.
_Stop it! Sir don't!
But Jack was pinning her down and refused to even hear what she was asking. When he felt Sam's assaults easing, he looked up at her. The sedative was beginning to work its way to her. Sam was fighting not to close her eyes, she was shaking furiously her head to keep her away from sleep.
He couldn't do that, he had promised her. She didn't want him to leave her.
He opened the second syringe, the tretonin one, the one that was going to make her survive until rescue.
When he was about to lower his hand a second time on her thigh, Sam's hand grabbed his. He wondered how someone, already close to death, under sedative, could be so strong. And then he remembered this someone was called Samantha Carter.
_Don't do that Jack… she said.
He made an effort not to look away. Her gaze was saying all her determination, all her courage. All her love.
_I'm sorry Sam, I don't want you to see me dying… he replied.
_Then let me fall asleep and take this syringe, you promised Jack… she whispered.
_I'd rather die myself than losing you, I already told you…
Sam shook her head, she couldn't hold her tears anymore. Jack's heart skipped a beat when he saw her crying. He swallowed hard when he continued his movement.
But Sam was still resisting, she was pushing his hand back while sobbing.
_No ! Jack please ! She screamed in despair.
_I have to Sam! Stop fussing around for crying out loud! You really think I'm going to let you die? You would do the same for me so stop it!
He didn't realise a tear was running down his own cheek. He laid down on her and put his other hand on her wet cheek. She was still fighting him, but he wouldn't let her win this war.
As tenderly as he could, he laid down his face to put his lips on hers. It was just a kiss that mixed their tears up. Just a kiss, tender and passionate that screamed his love for her. Just a kiss that was telling their story, their passion for each other. Just a kiss, where he was showing all his despair, but also all the hopes he had for her.
A kiss to offer her his life.
He didn't know if it was the embrace or the sedative, maybe both, but the grip of Sam's hand decreased. And without bouncing back, he put the needle into her tight and injected the tretonin.
She moaned against him when she felt the needle inside her, but he kept kissing her all the way down before leaning off. She was still awake, her azure eyes met his, for a last time. She told him by her glance all her feelings. And Jack was relieved to know she would live another day. Her gaze was like a promise. The most beautiful promise of all times.
He let his head dropped into the crook of her neck and before closing his eyes to meet the reassuring darkness, he whispered into her ear :
_Don't wait for me anymore.
XxXxXx
When Samantha Carter opened her eyes, she needed some minutes to get used to the bright light. Her senses came progressively back, her ears were buzzing. And then the strong smell of medicines and disinfectant made her head dizzy.
When the fog that was floating in her mind cleared up, she looked around, trying to know where she was. A small smile appeared on her lips when she realised she was in the SGC, in the infirmary. Home. Alive.
She then saw Daniel talking with the doctor. He took a rapid look at her and his face radiated with joy. He let the doctor talk with the wind as he was running to her.
_Sam! Thanks God, you're awake! He said while sitting on her bed.
He hugged her with infinite precaution, careful not to hurt her.
_Do you remember what happened?
She opened her mouth, but was stunned to realise she had no idea why she was there. She frowned, searching for any memories of her last conscious moments.
She gave up, shook her head and sighed. Daniel smiled gently at her and told her the whole story.
_So we let you two alone and I came back here with Teal'c. The next day, we had no news from you as you were supposed to be back by this time. We could not make contact with you so General Hammond set up a rescue team but when we arrived on the planet, the weather conditions were terrible. There was a gigantic thunderstorm, wind was blowing up to 180km/h, we couldn't do anything in these conditions. We had to wait for 10 hours before being able to cross the gate.
The thunderstorm, the earthquake… They had been trapped into the cave, wounded… The tretonin…
_Then we finally arrived to the cave which was completely buried. We managed to get in it and we found both of you, unconscious.
_Jack! She screamed.
The story of Daniel had been like an electroshock, all her memories came suddenly back, all the details. The image of her CO falling on her made her panic. She had a lump in her throat, she was scared, imagining the worse that could have happened.
_Daniel, where is he ? she impatiently asked.
He gently put his hand on her shoulders and made her lie down.
_Listen to me Sam.
Tears were about to run down her cheeks. He couldn't have left her, not like this, not because of her.
_Jack was in a really bad shape when we found him…
_Daniel, tell me there is a but… she begged.
Her friend smiled tenderly.
_We brought him back here, he had to be operated twice. It was two very heavy operations Sam, we weren't sure he could survived it.
_He's alive, she whispered close to tears.
He smiled even brighter and took the curtain that was separating the patients from each other. He opened it and she saw him. Colonel Jack O'Neill, unconscious on a hospital bed. He was breathing with a medical aid and didn't look very good, but he was alive. He was alive…
_You know how he is, when he had decided something, nothing can stop him, he laughed. And I personally think he had decided to see your smile once more, he teased her.
Sam's azure eyes were shining with tears but her smile was larger than ever.
She really thought she had lost him this time. It was a close one. But once again, he proved her how wrong she could be. He had made the right choice, he has saved them both.
XxXxXx
When he woke up, the first thing Jack O'Neill saw, was the radiant smile of Sam. He had fought for this moment. What made him hang on to life was this precise smile. It was thanks to this smile he had defied death. He got lost in her eyes. He was home.
He took off the oxygen mask and threw it away, he hated these kind of things. Then, he realised Sam wasn't alone, there was Daniel and Teal'c by her sides. Obviously, he was too focused on Sam to even notice them. What irony! He was the one used to wake her up when they were on exploration, and today it was the opposite. But he thought this was the best awakening of his life, even if the pain he was feeling in his body was atrocious.
He smiled brightly. Here they were, all reunited. SG1, his team, his friends, his family.
They shared some words, happy to be all together. Being with their friend, receiving the congratulation of General Hammond,… it was all these things that brought them back to reality and to the true nature of their relationship. Being alive meant they had to put the distance between them back.
They had to face it, now that they were both out of danger, life was continuing. They were two soldiers, subject to the USAF's rules.
Soon enough, Daniel and Teal'c left them alone.
A heavy silence floated between them, only disturbed by the noise of the medical devices. Back to the status quo. The leopard cannot changes its spot.
_Do you remember anything ? Sam finally asked.
_Do you?
_I asked first I think, she retorted simply.
He looked up at her, trying to find a correct answer to this question. Their relationship could totally change from what he was about to reply.
_Nothing, he whispered.
Sam lowered her head, split between deception and relief. She met her gaze and smiled gently at him.
_Good, she said, me neither. Guess we will never know what happened down there…
She stood up as lightly as she could with her sling arm and head off to the door. Before getting out, she turned around to look at him a last time.
_Get well soon, we're waiting for you.
And then she disappeared from his sight.
Did she really believe him when he said he didn't remember anything? Probably not. After all, he knew she lied.
But anyway, it was for the best. They wouldn't have to face each other, wouldn't have to face their feelings. They would just have to get back to their normal life.
Of course, they would never forget what happened or what had been said, as they never forgot their other misadventures. But by mutual agreement, they would never talk about it.
Take one step forward and two backward. That was what they had always done after all.
Another adventure to place under lock and key, one more.
The End
Here we are, please forgive my mistakes and feel free to leave a review, advices are always welcomed! Tell me if I should keep trying to translate my stories in English or not.
See you soon, I hope!