Why did you leave me?
The house was silent. The bright light from the fridge cast a shadow on my expressionless face as I looked for the food I had looked for several months before, still expecting the Player to return unexpectedly with the groceries. As I dug through the fridge, I found the last cup of yogurt my parents had left for me, before they tragically died of starvation. I refused to eat it, hoping they would eventually give in and share it. I once tried forcing them, but once I left the room they placed the dairy product back inside the cold, empty fridge, hoping I would eat it. I try not to remember the thought of opening my eyes yesterday morning, awakening up my parents to make me breakfast, although there was no food, as usual. Then, to only have them never wake up. I could recall tears immediately streaming down my face, screaming and crying, trying to grasp my parents last goodbye's to the Player, as the ghosts from their bodies arose into the air. I was angry. Scared.. Distressed. I knew the player couldn't do much to help my family, then. We still had collectibles in the yard, though. We had so much money. Dad was a rocket scientist. Mom was an engineer. We could have whatever we wanted. Instead, the player used the money on penicillin, sleeping pills, and baby boost shots. I had an older brother named Cyber, but the Player wasted our money sending him to boarding school when he turned 15. I think Mom's death affected me the most. She just had Soonania, my new baby sister. Being only a day old, she also passed away with my mom. I never knew the baby would pass away. I thought it would just lie on the floor, senseless and no knowing of what to do. I never thought she'd die. I had also, never thought if I would die, also. Would I die?
15 years later.
Fog filled the doorstep of the house. I shivered in my jacket, and turned the key to the old house. I was starving. I headed to the kitchen, hoping to find that the player placed some groceries on the kitchen table once the last generation had left. I was disappointed to find out the Player hadn't. I had always wondered what life was like after I left the house. I wondered if my brother regained his happiness after mom and dad died. I was never really informed how they died. I was always told they died of old age, so I stuck to believing that. I hadn't heard from Stepholo since we were little, and Mom wrote he was sad that I was gone, and that she missed me, too. The message only means so much to me, now that my parents are both dead and I haven't heard from my brother. I am still afraid my brother attempted to forget me, just how I tried to forget Mom and Dad. I didn't have much luck trying to forget my family, and hopefully Stepholo didn't, as well. Out of my daze, I looked around the house, noticing most of the rooms were remodeled, but the only furniture in the house was a single blue bed and a teddy bear. "This must have belonged to Stepholo." I thought aloud.
The sound of the computer making a ding sound startled me. I recognized the sound. I had received an e-mail. I walked to the computer, and answered it. It was a marriage proposal! I excitedly read who it was, and her name was Anna. Her job was the exact same as mine. She was a spammer. She said she definitely wanted kids, but I didn't want any. I didn't have much experience with children. I didn't know what I would do if I had to raise one. Although I accepted her marriage proposal, once I hit the button I found myself hitting it over and over again, but nothing happened. That was when I realized, it wasn't my choice. It was the players. The player chose for me to not marry the woman of my dreams. I was very disappointed, but I quickly forgot about it once I saw the bag of groceries the player placed on the table. I waved to the player, not for sure exactly where he or she was. Mom and Dad always assumed that the Player was in the sky, and I believed them. They always seemed to be correct. They were my guidance, but they were the ones who always told me that Dad received Mom's marriage proposal, and they were married a while later, because they loved each other and he accepted it. It was all a coincidence. The Player just happened to choose them to marry. I felt hopeless, maybe everything that happened to my parents before I moved away was also, a coincidence. I felt like pondering about this, until the Player made me put away the groceries. "Well, I guess it's a good thing that I have food, at the least." I said to myself.
Later that night, fancy, colorful birds sat on my windowsill. Annoyed, I shooed them away by tapping on the window. Although, there was no possible way of falling asleep, because I heard a loud crash in the kitchen. The sound of pots and pans came crashing to the floor. I felt terrified. I thought I was the only person in the house. Apparently not. I creeped down the staircase, with a board game as a weapon in my hands. I wasn't very skilled at keeping quiet, because the game pieces slid off the board and made a loud rattling sound. I winced at the noise, scolding myself for such stupidity. As I creeped down the stairs, I heard a tiny voice yell, "Ow!" And I immediately knew it was a child. I raced to the kitchen, hoping the poor kid was alright. It was a girl with curly blonde hair, blue eyes, and grinning pink lips. She immediately ran up to hug me, but I pushed her away, startled and confused. Tears swelled up in her eyes, and she ran into Stepholo's old room, the place where I had slept the previous night. I jogged after her, feeling a pang of guilt in my stomach. When I found her, she was faced to the corner of the room, and was sitting on the light-blue colored rug. She had the brown teddy bear clutched against her chest. She looked sad, and hurt that I pushed her away. I crawled up to her, and asked why she was in my home, and where she lived. She answered shyly, "I live here with you, Daddy." I felt like groaning. The player had adopted a child for me and I wasn't even married. I was ready to simply leave the house, and never return, but I didn't. I understood this little girl was now my responsibility. She claimed her name was Luce. I nodded to her and gave her a fake smile. I didn't love this child. I wasn't for sure if she loved me, either.
The same noise I had heard yesterday evening was going off again, and I checked to see who sent me an email. It was yet another marriage proposal, this time a woman named Caria, with bright red hair and a blue scrunchy. She was a shoe maker, and she definitely wanted children. Before I knew it, we were married. I never thought I could possibly love this woman. I did, though. We celebrated our marriage once we had our wedding, with Luce. Caria couldn't love Luce more than she did. I pretended to love Luce. I acted up when Caria was around us. Luce loved me. I could tell. Caria could tell. This made Caria want to have our own baby. I disagreed. I told her I wasn't ready for a baby. I lied to her, saying that the reason I adopted Luce was because she was not a baby. Although I was finally forced to give in, because the player bought a baby boost for Caria and wasted our money, even though I knew we would not have trouble having children if I wanted to have them.
Several days later, a red haired baby girl stared into my weary eyes as Caria lie on the bed, exhausted from childbirth. Luce was running around the house, excited about the baby. Caria smiled in her sleep. I wouldn't be able to sleep, still bewildered by the little infant wrapped in Caria's arms. She was named Zebra. She looked like Caria. Caria claimed she had my eyes to make me feel better, even though my wife and I have the exact same colored eyes. I slowly sat on the bed, afraid to awaken Caria, I stared at the baby, confused. I had never seen a baby girl before. My parents never had a baby girl, not one that I had ever heard of. Luce came running into the room, still very excited. "Are you sure it's not a boy? I don't see the difference, Daddy." She giggled. I smiled. I was finally starting to open up to her. Once I had tucked Luce into bed, I slept on the old couch the Player bought. It was brown, with some wear and tear. It was stained, but I could remember my dad sleeping on it when Stepholo was born, so that Mom could have the entire bed. I recalled sleeping with him on our nice sofa, bundled up in the quilts, bragging about how many collectibles I had sold that day, and watching him grin as he closed his eyes, while his shaggy, black hair would sweep in front of them.
The next morning, I woke up to Luce jumping on my bed, screaming, "Daddy there's something wrong with Mommy!" I got up from the bed, startled. I ran into the green carpeted room, to see my wife lying on the bed with our baby. I lied on the bed, asking her what was wrong. "The Player has these blue shots coming from the sky." Caria said wearily. She coughed into her arm. The Player must have thought she could help Caria's cough by giving her the shot. The Player was going to give Caria every medicine that he or she could buy until it finds the right one, or until we ran out of money. Caria was doomed. The baby was also, going to be in trouble. My family could lose all of our money. There was nothing that I could do.
I left the bed. I sat to down in the brown beanbag next to the bed. Caria coughed over and over again, until I decided to finally leave the room, hoping I wouldn't become sick. I began to work on my career in the kitchen, with the thought of my wife lingering in the back of my mind.
Later that night, I lie on the bed, my wife with her head sitting on my chest. Her eyes opened and she started coughing, after eating a mango and a banana, hoping it would make her a bit healthier. All of our money was gone. We had food, but it was like our house was filling up with furniture everyday. We could have used the money spent on our new couch to buy medicine for Caria. Caria wouldn't stop coughing. I told her to go get a drink of water. She didn't make it off the bed.
Instead, she lied back down and closed her eyes. I started panicking. She opened her eyes and put her hand on my cheek, and tears were in her eyes. She laid down her hand on the soft bed. I forgot about Zebra. She silently lied in Caria's arms, and she started to cry. Only Caria could hep her, it was just one of life's rules. Luce ran into the room, laughing. She stopped in her tracks and stared at her mother and the baby. She put both of her fists on her lips, and didn't move another muscle. I turned away from my daughter. Caria mumbled bye to me, and attempted to kiss me. She beckoned Luce to come to the bed. She kissed Luce's forehead, and said "Live your life to the fullest, do what feels good in your gut, and never forget that I love you." Caria then lied lifeless on the bed, and her ghost waved and vanished into the air. Luce screamed. I yelled. I wasn't for sure what I said, I was too caught in the moment of everything that was happening. These terrible things that were happening. My baby, my wife, my life. I knew it was gone, and now I was going to possibly die, too..
Luce sat in a corner. I lied in the place my wife passed. I looked at the narrow hallway that lead to the nursery. Tears finally fell down my pale face. It felt like gallons and gallons of salty water stained on my red, blotchy cheeks. The bed below my body was soaked in a circle at the top of it. Luce stared out the window, looking as if she wasn't alive, just like my late wife. Instead of the weather being the same as my emotions, gloomy and rainy, it was sunny. Tropical birds flew across the yard. It was like the perfectly imperfect day. My baby was born, but then died along with my wife. It was like building a gorgeous statue, then watching all of your hard work crumble to a million pieces as soon as it was completely built. I looked yet again to my daughter. I climbed off the bed, and walked across the green carpeted floor to Luce. I tapped on her shoulder, and shook the beanbag that held her body off the floor. I told her to go outside, and get some fresh air. She did nothing, which scared me. Luce really was gone. Her body and soul was there, but Luce wasn't.
Later, I sat on our couch with Luce with my legs crisscrossed and I faced her across from me. I told her everything would be okay, even though I didn't know if it would be. Was life nothing now? It seemed to be. The house seemed to be. The t.v was still turned on, I had been playing the same movie over and over again, trying to get my daughter to raise her spirits. Nothing seemed to be working. Then, I leaned over across the other side of the couch to Luce and asked her if she remembered what her mommy said, right before she passed away. She nodded her head, and sniffed. I then told her, "Go and live your life to the fullest. Go do something fun."
I grinned at her and she lead my hand to the playroom, where toys where scattered. Play dishes were scattered along the floor, and teddy bears sat in a circle, looking at each other. She lead me over to the bears, and I sat in a green beanbag directly in front of her. She waved the bears around, making them hug and run after each other. I smiled, under my exhaustion. It was now late. It was definitely past Luce's bedtime, but that was alright. I would allow her to play until she fell asleep. We had both had a hard day, and we each had earned some real closure. In an hour, my it turned into a nap in my chair, eventually with Luce ending up in my lap.
I couldn't breathe. It was two o'clock in the morning. Luce was gone, and I tried to stand up without being forced to sit down again to take a break because of the unbearable coughing I was struggling with. I walked down the hallway, hunched over like the Hunchback of Notre Dame with my arms crossed. My feet slowly slid one at a time across the hard wood floors. I peeked into Luce's bedroom, and she was pulling up the covers on her bed until it reached her chin.
I asked her from the door of her bedroom, "Why did you leave me?" "You were coughing really loud, and you woke me up." She said. I nodded, and put two fingers to my lips, kissed them, and pretended to blow the kiss to her. She put her hands up in the air, as if she were trying to catch it. We both smiled. I left the room, realizing I truly did love this little girl. Maybe, I always had.
I had made it halfway to my room, and I started feeling exhausted. I decided I needed to sit down for just a few seconds. I stumbled to the floor as quietly as I could, trying not to lead my daughter out of her room to check on me. I lied in the floor, with my head against the wallpapered wall. My eyes began to shut, and with all of the power I used to keep them open, I simply couldn't. I lied my head on my arm, and used the floor as my bed. I fell asleep.
I never woke up.