Summary: Hawke's been getting way too close to the Knight-Captain for Anders' peace of mind. How can he convince her to get away from him before she winds up in the Gallows, or drives him insane?

Disclaimer: Aria is my spin on Hawke. Other than that, nothing is mine.

Queen's Quornor: There are several Hawkes that I've enjoyed playing, but aside from Phaedra I had one other mage whom I remember fondly. Aria made it her mission in life to try and find a balance between mages' freedom and the templars' authority, which meant she did a lot of talking to certain persons in the Gallows. However, with those she cared about she enjoyed getting under their skin. In other words, Carver was more than glad to join the templars, and he never once deigned to acknowledge that the crazy apostate chatting it up with the Knight-Captain was in any way, shape, or form related to him. This woman loves to needle people. But as you can tell, if you read "Love and Mercy," she does have a soft side reserved solely for Anders.

Staking his Claim

"Are you crazy?"

She glared at him, her violet eyes sparking. "I'm serious, Anders. Why shouldn't I go with Cullen? He's a nice man, and decent enough."

"He's a bloody templar! The moment you're away from us, he'll shut you up in the Gallows so fast you'll think you imagined it!" Anders paced the length of his clinic, digging his nails into his palms in an effort not to shake her until her teeth rattled.

"He's not taking me anywhere near the Gallows, you moron! There's a coven of blood mages he's been tracking on the Wounded Coast, and he needs my help to nab them. His templar abilities won't help much against a damned nest of naughty robes." She crossed her arms under her breasts, unintentionally lifting them a bit higher in the low-cut shirt she wore. Anders grit his teeth and forced himself to look away. Aria was a gorgeous woman, but sometimes he wondered about her sanity.

"How do you know he isn't making this up?"

"Because there are far easier ways to get me into the Gallows than tricking me into an ambush. That aside, we've seen their handiwork, Anders. Remember those blood sacrifices we found while we were tracking that new group of Tal Vashoth?" He nodded reluctantly, his mind conjuring up images of the broken bodies piled at the bottom of the cliffs below the trail, each of their throats slit wide open and their unfeeling flesh as pale as seafoam. A lone blood mage could not claim that much power in such a small amount of time. "He wants to root them out himself, since some of the other templars have been questioning his authority based on his Ferelden heritage. He figures that with my help, he should be able to handle them and prove he is capable enough for his position."

"You can't go with him!" Anders snarled, glaring at her as he stalked by.

He felt the burn of her eyes on his back. "You would forbid me?" she asked, her voice dripping scorn. "Let's get one thing straight, Anders. You're my friend and I value your opinion, and I enjoy your company. But you don't own me." Her tone softened, some of its edge lost as old hurts surfaced anew. "You made it quite clear that you don't want to."

His heart squeezed, because nothing could be further from the truth. He wanted her so bad it was often a physical pain, but he couldn't let her in. The last thing he wanted was to hurt her, and with Justice in his head that was almost an inevitability.

But neither would he let her doom herself to the life he had fought so hard to escape. He would sooner blow the whole damned building sky-high than see her in the Circle. "I don't trust his motives, Hawke. Why would a templar, especially the Knight-Captain, need an apostate to oust blood mages? You're a powerful woman, but surely he would choose a Circle member instead of outside help? It just doesn't make sense."

"If nothing else, it'll be a chance to spend some time alone with a handsome man."

That stopped him short. "Repeat that."

"If nothing else..."

Anders turned to face her, keeping his distance. In his mind, Justice was roaring at her seeming betrayal. "You can't be serious."

Aria's eyes were chips of cold amethyst, her heart-shaped face utterly devoid of warmth. "Why shouldn't I view it that way? I'm a healthy young woman - I've got needs. And templar or not, Cullen is a very attractive man. It'll be fun getting to know him, even if we are hunting blood mages."

"If you're only interested in that, you'd be safer just going to the Blooming Rose. The skewering done there isn't fatal," he growled.

"Why should you care?" she snapped. "What does it matter to you if I spend some time with another man? At least Cullen treats me like a woman, and not some fragile jewel. He always makes time for me when I go to visit him."

"You visit him?" Anders reared back as though slapped, her words robbing his breath. He'd had no idea she had been making friends with the enemy. "Maker's breath, why not just offer yourself up on a silver platter? One day you'll go for a visit and find yourself Harrowed by nightfall!"

"He's not as bad as the others! Cullen's nothing like Ser Alrik!"

"Oh, I think he'd enjoy turning you into a drooling idiot all the same. Templars love it when spirited mages become docile Tranquil and they can do whatever they want to them."

His head whipped to the side with an audible smack! He rubbed a hand over his stinging cheek; he'd never seen her move from her place across the room. Aria looked a little startled herself, but she held her ground, daring him to retaliate.

"I'm going, Anders. Don't even try to stop me," she said lowly.

He nodded sharply. "If you're that certain about clipping your own wings, then I won't stop you. But please, just think."

Aria whirled around and snatched her staff from its place alongside his on the wall. "I have thought, Anders. And I think I should get out of here before I electrocute you."

Anders turned his back as she strode from his clinic, knotting one fist to his heart in a futile attempt to keep it in one piece.

\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

Bodahn peered again into the entryway where he sat, the dwarf's eyes filled with curiosity. Anders ignored the servant, far more concerned with what he was going to say to Aria when she arrived. After their fight, he hadn't been able to focus on anything else. All he wanted was to make sure she was all right, that the Knight-Captain hadn't taken advantage of her trust and dragged her to the Gallows, or worse.

If Cullen had laid a finger on her, Anders would obliterate him. He had no claim on her, but...

Maker, why continue the charade? She meant the world to him, try though he might to deny it. Even Justice thought highly of her, in spite of what she had said. The spirit's only objection to her was her effect on Anders, how her mere presence usually calmed his inner turmoil and made him think of something other than his revolution.

Anders buried his face in his hands. If something ever happened to her, he would lose himself entirely to Vengeance. The entire world would drown in blood and fire, would know his anguish at losing her, the woman he -

A soft jingle of metal sounded outside the door and Anders froze. The noise was soon replaced by the harsh clink of impact on stone, and a muttered curse in a voice so familiar he would know it anywhere. The key finally scraped in the lock, and the door swung open, admitting a redhaired woman in a short leather skirt and cuirass, her staff slung across her back with her pack. She kicked the door shut behind her and turned to set the lock. Her violet eyes widened as she caught sight of him.

"Anders," she breathed.

"I had to see you," he hastened to explain, rising to his feet. "I was so worried about you, I couldn't think straight."

"Well, as you can see, I'm fine." She spread her arms, inviting him to look her over. Aside from the usual amount of dust and grime, and a few new scratches and scorch marks marring her leather garb, there was no sign that would say she had been in a fight at all. "Those blood mages really did a number on Cullen, which is why we were gone so long. I had to heal him. Obviously, he refrained from admitting me to the Gallows afterward," she added with a wry smirk.

Anders felt a very heavy weight lift from his shoulders. A part of him would never trust Cullen, but at least the other man's honor had been proven. "I'm glad you're safe and free, Hawke. If anything had happened to you, I..."

"You would what?" she prompted, watching him with a measured gaze.

"I would kill them all," he confessed, his voice heavy. "Everyone who had a hand in harming you. I would do anything to keep you safe, Aria. Even fling myself headfirst into the Void, if that's what it took."

He chanced a glance at her, and was surprised to note that she was standing utterly still, her violet orbs wide. "What did you just call me?" she breathed.

"I called you Aria. You know, your name?" he replied, stepping closer to her. She made no move to stop him.

"Nobody has called me that in a very long time," she whispered, looking down. "Not even Mother. Since Father died, I've only been 'Hawke'."

He dared to cup her cheek, lifting her face so the moisture gathering in her lovely eyes caught the light. "Do you want me to stop?"

Aria drew in a shuddering breath, closing her eyes to tilt her head more closely against his palm. "No. You're the only one I want to hear it from."

Justice tried to remind him that taking this any further was sheer folly. Anders told the spirit to mind his own damned business. "Can we discuss this elsewhere?" The last thing he wanted was to chance Aria's mother interrupting them, or worse, Sandal.

She looked into his eyes, then nodded and took his hand. Bodahn cheerfully greeted her as they emerged from the entryway, and she acknowledged him with a nod and a smile. Her mabari, Boudicca, started to get up from her favorite spot before the fire, but Aria stopped her with a quick gesture. Anders was pleased at her foresight; he and Boudicca had never exactly been the best of friends, given his preference for cats and the hound's love of sticking her nose in strange places at awkward times. The mabari whuffed indignantly, but nevertheless flopped back down on the rug as her mistress led him up the stairs to her room.

He cast a quick look at the door he knew to be Mistress Amell's, grateful that it was closed. Maker be praised, she had already retired. Hopefully she would not overhear what he planned to do to her beloved daughter.

Anders managed to keep his hands to himself while Aria closed the door behind them, instead preparing himself for something he never thought to do again. None of his previous conquests had ever affected him him the way she did, and he certainly had not cared for them to this extent. It had always been about mutual fun and pleasure, before he was conscripted into the Grey Wardens and met Justice. This was something entirely new and different, not the game he was used to playing in and outside of the Circle.

But that was all right. He was beyond ready to share this with her, because he did love her. Even if she had been with him, after tonight she would hunger for nobody else.

"Anders?" Her soft call broke through his reverie, drawing his attention to her. She had set her staff and pack by the desk and stood before the fire, awaiting him.

"You have no idea how long I've waited for you," he confessed, going to her. "In the Circle, mages only experience a shadow of love. It's all the templars will let them have. But every one of us grows up hoping to find the one person who can make the pain vanish, and bring us the happiness we crave. I've spent the past three years aching for you, but I dreamed of you long before we ever met."

He wrapped his arms about her, burying his face in her soft red hair, feeling her clasp him in turn. "Please don't let this be another dream, Aria. Tell me this is real, that you're real."

"I'm as real as you are, Anders. I've waited for you, too." She squeezed him, just hard enough for him to realize she was not teasing this time.

He breathed deep, inhaling her familiar scent of vanilla and cinammon and the metallic tang known only to those who practiced magic. "We were always ordered not to love, and punished when we did. It was the one rule every mage feared to test, because the templars could take our love away so easily."

"Nobody's taking me away from you," she promised, lifting her head so her eyes met his.

Anders smiled, feeling the final shackles dissipate into nothingness. "I've broken a lot of rules, Aria. But this is the one I'll enjoy breaking the most."

He lowered his head to hers, caressing her lips with his own before joining them in a deep kiss. She answered by holding him tight and pressing her hips against his, grinding with just enough pressure to make him groan low in his throat. In response, she pulled back from his embrace and once more took his hand, tugging him towards her bed. Anders willingly followed, squashing Justice's silent protests; he had wanted a woman like this since the day he realized girls were not as disgusting as little boys thought, and he was not going to let the spirit keep him from her any longer. They had lost enough time as it was.

Aria settled atop the blankets and he let her pull him down atop her, though he shifted his weight to the side so he only partially covered her. From there he could kiss her to his heart's content and still explore her body, thus satisfying them both for the moment. She seemed absorbed in their current duel of tongues, and he took the opportunity to undo the laces of her leather cuirass and skirt. She managed to kick off her boots when he pushed her away long enough to help her out of the armor.

She glanced down his body then flicked her gaze back to his face, her eyes eloquent. He brought her hands to the buckles that held his robes together and she eagerly began sliding leather through metal. Within minutes he was also in his smalls and her hands skated along his naked chest and sides, mapping the newly exposed planes. As for him, he focused on tracing the soft flesh just beneath her breast-band, kissing her all the while. She shivered at the attention given to skin so near, yet so far from the areas she wanted him to tend, and he smiled against her lips when she voiced her desires with a quiet whine.

Finally he slid his wandering hand to her back and, before she could react, rolled her onto her front. Aria started to raise herself but he rested a firm hand between her shoulders. "Wait, sweetheart," he murmured. "Be still for me."

She grumbled something indecipherable, but complied nevertheless. Anders swung himself atop her so he straddled her thighs and brushed her hair away from her neck, leaning forward to lay a hot kiss against her nape. She shuddered. Pleased, he began pressing a trail of kisses along her spine, undoing the clasp to her binding while she was good and distracted. That done, his lips traveled along her arms to her hands, where he sucked and nibbled each slim digit in turn before returning along the underside of her limbs. She could not help moaning at his attentions.

Anders moved back down the bed, kissing his way down her body. Her hips raised beseechingly when he reached the small of her back and he was obliged to hook the waistband of her smalls as he continued along the curve of her rump, sliding them down her long legs until he reached her feet, where the small scrap of cloth was deposited on the floor and he focused on her sensitive arches.

"Sweet Maker," she moaned into the covers. "I had no idea..."

"...that I was this good?" He returned to blanket her with his body, having doffed his own smalls at the foot of the bed. "Sweetheart, this is only the beginning."

"I may not survive this," she whined, grinding against his naked length.

He laughed darkly, pinning her and rolling them so she lay atop him. "If you don't, I will raise you. We can continue where we left off."

Her arms rose to clutch the pillows above them as he turned his attention to readying her further with one hand slowly massaging her breasts and the other delving between her wide-spread legs. "You really would do that, wouldn't you?" A helpless laugh quickly turned into a strangled gasp when he nipped the side of her neck.

"You're not getting out of this so easily, Aria." He soothed the bite with a long lick, enjoying the way she was beginning to undulate her hips against him. "I'm going to make up for all the time I spent trying to be noble, and when the morning comes everyone is going to know what you've been doing." He sank his teeth delicately into her shoulder, where he knew her armor wouldn't hide the mark. Let the templar see that.

She groaned as his fingers swirled between her folds, spreading the moisture throughout her cleft. Anders kissed the sensitive spot he knew lay beneath her ear and pulled her thicker lips wide, exposing her hidden pearl to his longest finger. He rubbed it softly, and she bucked her hips hard against his hand, the movement rolling her body in a wave against his. He smirked. "Sensitive, aren't we?"

Aria drew in her breath, trying to say something, but the air exploded from her as he rubbed her again, harder. "So responsive, and all for me," he growled, holding her steady with his free arm. She continued to rock between his hips and his fingers, throwing her head back against his shoulders as her moans came faster. How long had she been without a man? It must have been some years, for her to be this sensitive. Pressing an open-mouthed kiss to her neck, he slid his hand further between her legs and plunged one finger deep.

He froze, astonished, when he felt the tight ring of tissue gripping his finger. At the same moment, Aria winced and hissed out something other than pleasure.

"You're a virgin?" he questioned, his eyes wide.

She nodded. "I told you I waited."

He had thought she meant since meeting him, not all her life. Anders mentally kicked himself for not realizing her meaning sooner. "Oh sweetheart. I'm sorry."

"This...doesn't happen but once," she tried to explain. "I didn't want it to be meaningless. Not that it really matters or anything, but..."

"Aria, it does matter." He slid out from beneath her, laying her on the bed and stretching out beside her with one arm draped across her midsection. He propped his head in his hand and sought her eyes, noting her sudden shyness. "It means you want to feel something for your first lover, cherish the experience. You don't want to throw your virginity away for a quick tumble and move on to the next man. There's no shame in that."

"You're not disappointed?" she asked, unable to hide the slight tremor in her voice.

Anders favored her with a tender smile. "Sweetheart, I could not be any more honored to be your first."

He leaned over her, guiding her into a deep kiss. At length her arms closed about him, and he took it as a cue that she was ready to pick up where they left off. Knowing she was a virgin, he would modify what he originally had in mind for this encounter. An experienced woman would know what to expect, but Aria might not. He would save his best tricks for later, when she was ready for the full force of his passion. As timid as she was acting now, that meant his lips were going to remain above her mons this first time. Later she would find out just how good he could be.

He skimmed his hand down her body, sending his other arm around her shoulders to hold her close. Her legs parted willingly at his touch, and soon he was caressing her as intimately as before, patiently avoiding her entrance. When she began rocking again, Anders reached up to unwind one of her hands from his back, guiding it down the line of his side. "Touch me," he breathed against her lips, between kisses.

She was slowly becoming less nervous about her imminent defloration. Under his guidance, her long fingers carefully trailed down his stomach and lower, skating quickly up the length of his shaft and down the other side. He groaned loudly, encouraging her, and returned to stroking her cleft. Aria's touch gradually became more confident as she took him in hand, running her fingers along his hot skin with something more than virginal curiosity.

At last it became too much. Her arousal was progressing well, but he was getting too close to his end. He gently disengaged her hand and distracted her by stroking into her mouth with his tongue, coaxing her into similar play. Once she was sufficiently wet, Anders drew back from the kiss and slid further down the bed, kneeling between her thighs.

She watched him, her eyes dark with desire and the timidity only a maiden could know. He sucked on one of his fingers and ran it down her slit, slowly pressing it inside her body. She cringed a little, but did not stop him. Knowing that was a good sign, he slowly stroked his finger in and out of her, getting her used to the intrusion and the feel of something in that particular area. Aria's eyes closed and she tilted her head back against the pillows, beginning to gather the covers within her fists. After some minutes of this, he added another finger, pleased that she did not respond with more than a pleasured moan. Carefully he scissored the digits, which did make her hips draw away a little, but he did not force her too much and the unwelcome pain was soon forgotten. Maker willing, the same would be true for what was to come.

Anders kneed closer to her. Holding her hips steady, he took himself in hand and closed the distance, letting the head of his shaft slip between her folds. Aria rose onto her elbows, watching him and biting her lip. He stroked her for a time, acquainting her with his size and feel, and then nestled himself against her entrance. He looked up at her. "Trust me, sweetheart."

She breathed deep, then let the air out slowly. "I love you."

His heart swelled at that, and her declaration was followed by the slightest twitch of his hips into hers. When she did not draw away, he held her gaze with his and pressed inside, slowly.

She gasped at the pain, but Aria did not ask him to stop. He watched the emotions chase across her features, her nervousness and hurt replaced by realization and desire. He witnessed her final transformation from a maiden into a woman.

The last barrier he had placed around his heart crumbled, and he knew then that he never wanted to experience this with anybody else, ever again. Come what may, he loved her and wanted to remain beside her.

He lowered himself atop her, drawing her into another kiss as he began moving. Aria's limbs climbed around him, trying to keep him as close as their flesh would allow. The pressure, the friction grew and she called out her passion between kisses. Anders kissed her wherever he could reach, smoothing his lips down her neck and shoulders to tongue her breasts, marking her tan skin wherever he could but always returning to her sweet mouth. Her nails dug into his back, leaving long scratches as he worked to take them both higher.

How could he have lived without this for so long? He knew the answer to that; he had been tired of meaningless conquests, of laying and leaving. Now that he knew firsthand the difference between sex and making love, living a chaste life was no longer an option. If his Aria's cries were any indication, she wholeheartedly agreed with him. This was better than anything he could remember experiencing before.

She broke her mouth away from his on a gasp when he hit something especially sensitive within her, and he reclaimed her kiss in time for her to tighten around him inside and out, convulsive ripples stroking him as the climax overtook her at last. Burying his face in her neck, he gave in to her silent demands and ground deep into her, letting his body take over until he lacked the strength to move.

They stayed locked together, but Anders rolled onto his back, taking her with him. She lay with her legs on either side of his hips, her arms around his neck, and he stroked her sides and back in the afterglow. At last she raised her head to look at him.

"I meant what I said. About loving you."

He gazed into her purple eyes and let himself smile. She was truly his, and this was no dream. "Then you should know that I love you, too. I've known it for some time now, but I couldn't tell you before."

"You thought I should choose somebody else, somebody who isn't an apostate." She sighed, her lips curved upward. "I think loving illegal mages runs in the family. Maybe not yours, but definitely mine."

Then we will make sweet magic together, he thought, drawing her head down to rest beneath his chin. "Sleep, sweetheart. I'm not going anywhere yet."

She snuggled against him, curling her arms beneath his shoulders so her hands lay beneath him. "Don't ever leave. Stay, with me."

"Do you really mean that?" He looked down at her. This woman was full of surprises. "You're willing to risk the knight-commander finding two apostates living under the same roof?"

"For you, I would risk anything," she replied sleepily. "Let me protect you."

Stunned, he leaned his head back to stare at the bed's canopy. Nobody had ever sheltered him without some kind of ulterior motive before. Even Kionalil, the Dalish Warden-Commander of Ferelden, had only protected him from the templars so he could join her ranks. That Aria was willing to tempt fate by letting him live with her was a humbling and exhilarating thought.

He held her until she fell asleep in his arms and their bodies disengaged on their own, dreaming things he had never thought possible in his dark, lonely clinic. With Aria's love, his hopes were infinite. At last, despite knowing she could not hear him, he gave his consent to her proposal. "So long as I can protect you, sweetheart."