Of Christmas Trees and Santa Claus
An Axis Powers Hetalia fan fiction by Sir Psycho Sexy
A/N: This is a humorous, Hetalia-ized version of England's and America's borrowing of German Christmas traditions in the early 19th Century. I hope you enjoy, and happy holidays!
-SPS
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"O Tannenbaum, O Tannenbaum..."
Germany started singing as he hung ornaments on his evergreen tree, the way his ancestors had brought in evergreens for the solstice celebration to remind them that ife would still prosper in the dead of winter, and, after their Christianization, started hanging apples on them to represent the purity of the Garden of Eden; these particular ornaments, however, were made of glass, and Germany struggled to put them on the branches in an order that was both pleasing and would not break the ornaments themselves. He looked around his parlor for a bit, and found some small candles; he carefully lit them, and placed them on the tree, in places whre it would be least likely to catch fire.
Upon completing his decoration, he breathed a sigh of relief, and then sat down to have a glass of his favorite beer.
Unfortunately, he heard a knock at the door; he placed his beer upon the floor, being extra-careful not to spill it, and answered the door.
"Hey, Germany, I see you've got a Christmas tree! I guess my customs are getting pretty popular around here, huh?" England started taking off his coat and his hat, and placed them both on Germany's coat stand.
Germany glared at him. "I beg your pardon, but the Tannenbaum is my tradition! You only have it because my boss' son married your boss' daughter!"
"You must be joking. I've always had a Christmas tree. It's as traditional as Christmas pudding!"
"Give credit where credit is due!" Germany howled at him. "You have only had your trees for ten years!"
As England shut the door, another knock could be heard.
"Huh?" Germany gasped. They both quickly turned around, only to see America carrying a bag of chestnuts.
"Hey! I see you got a Christmas tree!" he said. America had just realized that this was not his idea, and decided to acknowledge it. "Oh yeah...Germany, some of your relatives taught me how to make one."
Germany smiled smugly.
England, however, was very annoyed. "I beg your pardon, but the Christmas tree is my idea...You must have been inspired by me, right?"
"Oh, bull," said America. "As if I'd ever adopt one of your lame ideas."
"Hey now! I raised you!" England was definitely starting to get angry.
"And I cut you off and kicked your ass."
"Don't you bloody remind me!" England hissed. "You can be so insolent sometimes, I swear..."
"Stupid limey!"
"Damn Yank!" At this point, America and England started to get into a fistfight.
Germany, being a lover of the rules, decided to break up the fight. "Come on, you two..."
"Hey!" yelled England. "I want to get after this bloke!"
"I will not let you," Germany barked. "Christmas is about peace and goodwill towards your fellow man. And I'll be damned if you two ruin it for me!"
America and England both sighed. "All right..."
America, by now calmed down, opened up his jacket pocket and showed Germany a drawing. "Hey, this is someone I came up with for Christmas! His name's Santa Claus, and every night, on Christmas Eve, he visits good boys and girls and give them presents!"
Germany's jaw hung open. "He looks...he looks like the Weihnachtsmann..."
"The who now?" America looked rather puzzled.
"The Weihnachtsmann. He puts candy into good children's shoes, and his demon companion puts coal in the shoes of naughty children, and then gives them a hearty spanking..." His voice had lilted upwards in glee by the time he had gotten to "spanking".
"Never heard of him." America looked even more puzzled than he had previously.
Germany breathed in to calm himself down, but was not immune to his characteristic yelling. "You know, you too should give credit where credit is due! My relatives told you about the Weihnachtsmann, and you re-invented him!"
"No, no, there's this guy called Clement C. Moore, and he wrote this awesome book about Santa Claus...You know, ''Twas the night before Christmas' and all that..." America was about to get a manuscript of said book out, when Germany had decided he had had enough.
"GET OUT! Both of you!" He shut the door behind them.
"I hate to be exceptionally rude, but what an arse," whispered England.
"Yeah, let's keep on with Christmas trees and Santa just to spite him!" America agreed as the both of them walked outwards into the snow.
Germany returned to his chair to admire his tree, his dogs by his side, and his beer in his hand.
He let out a sigh of relief, and mused that the best Christmas he could have would be one where he would be left in solitude.
-FIN