Wake up. Go to school. Come home. Do homework. Go to bed. Wake up again the next morning. That's my life for you. Just like everybody's life, it's an endless circle, never seeming to end. It's never broken and never failed. It's been this way for years now; ever since I can remember. But I'm not complaining; I like it this way. Nothing ever changes too much, so I can focus on what's important instead of the small stuff. But after my fifteenth birthday, everything seemed to change. I've been having these strange dreams. I have no idea what they're about. All I know is that I'm in a virtual town. I'm being lied to constantly, the only one not lying to me being this red-haired guy. But thing is, this same guy goes to my school, Twilight Academy. But this time… it's not a dream. Or at least I don't think it is… Is it?

It happened so fast. I barely know what was happening… Everything was practically just a blur; these past few days. In the last six days left of summer, I managed to fight this weird white thing, meet Naminé again, realize that the whole town and my life was fake, fall off a clock tower, and so much more. Even I can't remember everything that had happened. And don't get me wrong; I have a great memory. But it just seems like my whole life just won't come to me anymore. The life in Twilight Town, I mean. Everything I remember is of a land outside of this town, far away from here.

And suddenly…I don't know myself at all. I don't know who I am, why I exist, who my real friends are, nothing. I feel empty, as if there's nothing left to live for anymore. Even my so-called "friends" don't even see me anymore. Hayner even passed right through me as if I weren't there… I wasn't there; at all. I just… don't know. Maybe I wasn't supposed to belong after all. I began to doubt myself and my existence. Even the town's existence I began to doubt.

A few days before the last day of summer, I began to shut myself out from my friends because of everything that has happened to me. They couldn't see what was happening. I was the only one who could. I felt alone. I have never felt so alone and singled out before in my life. It seems that everyone's out to get me and I'm not one to be paranoid. Before I knew it, I was standing in front of a large, white egg. Inside, I knew was a boy; a boy around my age. His name was Sora, someone I had never met before in my life as a Nobody. But somehow, I felt like I knew him. Not just his name, but knew him as if I had lived his life.

I couldn't help but to just stare up in awe. The feeling was… it was just horrible; the feeling that I would never be able to move again; the feeling that I would always be trapped, never to be free. But it wasn't an emotion. It didn't feel like it. It felt like part of my mind was just screaming at me, telling me to get out of there; telling me that I would never live my life again. I would live his life. And I would have no say in the matter. That feeling… was just the most saddening thing I could possibly think of. I would never see anyone as… me; ever again. And that… it made me sad almost… But I don't feel; I can't feel at all. I'm void of all emotion. Still, as I looked up at the sleeping brunette inside of that egg, I couldn't help but feel a pang of loneliness and despair.

And though I hated myself of it, the only thing that I could say as I looked up at Sora was "Looks like my summer vacation is… over…" I had no other words. I could hardly speak. But what happened after that… I would never expect. I thought that I would surrender peacefully, but I guess somebody had… other plans for me.

At first, I felt nothing. I only let out a small grunt and stumbled forward, my hand instantly holding my stomach. I didn't even notice the sharp metal spike protruding from it. A warm crimson liquid seeped through my shirt and onto my fingers, dripping onto the pure white floor, tainting it. I pulled my hand away, my focus fading in and out as my breath became more forced. Then the pain came. I let out a scream of agony and fell to my knees, falling forward only to have my right hand reach out to support me. I clenched my teeth tightly as I closed my eyes, my whole body shaking. I coughed a few times, the pain coming even more and more to the point where I could hardly stand it. It felt as if my body had been ripped in half.

I let out a weak cry as something slid out of my body before I fell to the floor completely; curling up though it hurt to even do that. I shook in pain, tears pouring out of my eyes as I lay partially spread out, lying slightly on my side. I forced my eyes open, my vision blurring then focusing only to start a small cycle. I couldn't tell who was standing a few feet away from me; all I could see where black boots. I closed my eyes and coughed, feeling a coppery-tasting liquid coming up as well. I didn't need to open my eyes to see what it was; I knew by the taste. I forced my eye open once more, clenching my teeth as I saw who it was. There, next to me, was a tall lanky figure with spiky red hair, two circular objects by his side. One was covered in blood; my blood.

He dismissed his chakrams before slowly strode over to me calmly, crouching down in the pool of warm liquid, not caring that it soaked into his cloak. His emerald eyes looked into my blue ones, examining. They held no emotions, though this seemed to be a mask. I didn't know how, but I could see that deep within, there was an unbearable sorrow and regret. I flinched when he reached out and stroked my bangs. "I'm sorry, Roxas," he spoke, his voice filled with sweet sorrow, though he still showed no signs of such emotion. He sighed softly, the soft sigh fluttering across my face. He closed his eyes for much longer than a standard blink as he continued to stroke my hair. No matter how much I wanted to swat it away, I couldn't. He opened his eyes once more when he pulled his hand away, finally showing signs of regret. "I can't go against my orders."

With that said, he stood up. I watched in horror and anger as he summoned his chakrams once more. He looked down at me with cold eyes before he swung one of them down towards me. I could only close my eyes as tightly as I could, my breath hitching. I could merely just lay there and wait, wait for the chakram to come in contact with my neck.

I quickly sat up in bed, breathing heavily. Sweat ran down my forehead and matted my bangs to my forehead, the comforter tightly in my hands. I struggled to breathe, my eyes wide and my pupils dilated. I took ragged, uneven breaths that echoed throughout my otherwise silent room. My eyes quickly darted this way and that, my head turning with them. I soon found out that I was safe in my room; I was safe. I calmed down as quickly as I could before falling back on my pillow, not caring that the covers only covered half of my body now. It was a dream… Just another dream. But this one… This one seemed so real, as if I really did go through all that.

I let out a deep sigh and closed my eyes; the back of my left hand on my forehead. I lay there for a moment. I didn't want to move. I felt too weak to do so despite how much sleep I had gotten. However, it didn't last; I knew it wouldn't. I heard the door open then footsteps walk over to my bed. I opened my eyes to see my brother leaning over me, examining my face. "What do you want?" I asked in almost a sour tone, though that was only just my morning attitude coming into play now that I was calm and no longer scared to death.

The brunette smiled brightly at me, something he usually did. Wait… he was awake? Just how late was it? Usually I was the one who woke up before he did… I sat up, pushing him out of the way. Of course, I didn't push him hard, but he still backed up for he knew exactly what I needed to do. It was that twin telepathy thing we had going on almost all the time. Before I could even glance at the clock, he spoke up.

"You were having a nightmare. I couldn't sleep. I've been awake since five this morning 'cause I was afraid to see what you were dreaming of," he said. Well, that made sense… He would always know how bad my dream was and sometimes, the nightmare would be transferred to him in turn. So we would dream of the exact same thing, but our places would be switched. No matter what, the both of us were always in the dream; it never failed.

I sighed then got out of bed, wearing nothing but sweat pants. I gave him a stern look. "Good. Never go to sleep when I'm having my nightmares. You know how bad they get now," I said, pointing a finger at him as if I were lecturing him. I then smiled and punched him softly on the arm before walking over to the door. "Now c'mon, Dufus. Let's not linger on the topic for long. I'll tell you everything about it once I'm able to sort it all that," I added before walking out of the room.

I heard the soft padding of footsteps against the wooden floor, but I knew it was just my brother following me. I came to the stairs and walked down, one hand on the handrail as I found myself on the outer part of the living room, the dining room right next to me. I trailed my fingertips along the wall gently as I made my way through the dining room and into the kitchen. I knew exactly where I was going, though I knew my brother had no idea where he was going. But then again, when did he?

I ignored my thoughts, knowing very well that my brother could read my mind – literally. He always knew what I was thinking, no matter what; even if I tried to hide it. It was like he could just tap into my mind and read my thoughts right as I thought them. I continued to the fridge, once again shoving my thoughts aside. I opened it and crouched, my eyes searching for anything edible. Sure, there were a lot of things I could eat, but would I? Of course not. Almost everything in here was ingredients for dinner or random snacks my mom loved to make. Speaking of my mother, here she comes…

"Don't forget, hunny, you have school tomorrow," he spoke. Oh yes… School… Oh how I adored school. Not. I hated it completely. Everything about it, I hated; the teachers, the students, the packed hallways, the books, the homework, everything. I couldn't stand it. How could anybody love school? No. Scratch that. Who could ever love school? Oh. That's right; Sora.

Sora loved school. Unlike me, he absolutely adores school. But that's only because he can see his friends during lunch and because he's so damn popular! We may be twins, but that doesn't mean that we have the same social status. He was popular; loved among all. I was the emo, angsty brat; picked on by all. Hey; it's not my fault Bruce started those stupid rumors about me being gay! Just because of that, I became the school's punching bag. Hell, even Kairi scratches me when nobody's looking! And nobody believes me. "She's a little angel." 'Little angel' my ass.

There was only one person that never even came close to hurting me, the only person who actually helped me when the others turned away. But I'm not gonna tell you at this moment. Right now, I might want to answer my mom before she gets on my back about it. Though, instead of speaking, I made this small grunting noise that showed anyone that heard it that I wasn't particularly happy. Damn Bruce and his-

"Roxas is thinking bad thoughts again!"

Oh hell… Why do I even bother with thinking? I should just kill myself now and get it over with to avoid all this torture and- Ow! That hurt! I glared up at my mother, holding my head where she had hit me. Let's just say this; never glare at your mother! She will hit you ten times harder! And she did just that. I let out a yelp as I was hit on the head – again. I stood up quickly, but the back of my head just so happened to find the open freezer door. Wait… That thing was open? Since when? Nobody ever tells me these things!

I let out a small grunt and sunk down slowly. Of course, like every mother I know, the woman standing next to me went from angry to completely caring in 0.052 seconds. Yes, that fast. You did not read that wrong; 0.052 seconds flat. God, I can never understand women, let alone girls… How could they change that quickly?! Anyway, she went from glaring daggers at me to hovering over me and kissing my head and asking if I was okay. Of course, I just waved my hand dismissively and said "Yes, yes, I'm fi- OW! God Damnit, Sora!" only to have another hit on my head. Hey! He stepped on my toe! It wasn't fair that I get hit for yelling at him for stepping on my toe! He's the one with shoes on!

Ok, yeah… I like my dream world way better than there. At least I'm killed and I don't have to put up with this kind of torture. I sighed and closed the fridge as I CAREFULLY stood up so that I didn't hit my head on the freezer door. Luckily, no freezer door came flying out at me. Spoke too soon… I soon found a freezer door shoved in my face. And of course, it was opened by none only than my twin brother, Sora. Damn, this family must hate me or something… Or maybe it's just a bad day. I'm pretty sure I have never been hit that much before in my life.

I grumbled and pushed the freezer door away from me a bit so that it didn't hit anybody anymore and quickly walked out of the kitchen before a kitchen knife could even begin to fly towards my head or any other body part of mine. I gulped as a kitchen knife came flying at my head and implanted itself into the wall RIGHT next to my head. I could see the reflection of ONLY my eye on the blade! Ok, yeah… if I stepped forward not even an inch, I'd be pretty much dead right now. I slowly turned my head to my mother, who was looking around for the knife.

Finally, her eyes laid on me and looked from the knife to me then to the knife again. She barely had to move her eyes. Yeah; the knife was that close to embedding into my head and not the wall. I'm just glad it was the latter. She soon ran up to me, but instead of giving me comforting words, she took the knife out of the wall and walked back to the kitchen. "Sorry, Roxas. It was stuck and wouldn't come out. So I tugged as hard as I could and it slipped out of my hands," she said.

Yeah… Comforting words… I merely rolled my eyes and quickly ran upstairs. Luckily, I didn't trip over my own feet or a random stair. As I slammed the door closed, I knew that I was safe and sound in my room; nobody was going to come and kill me. I sighed then walked over to my bed, falling down onto it. I buried my face into my pillow and just lay there for a moment, listening to the cicadas' calls through the open window. Wait… Open? I left it open?

I lifted my head and sat up, crawling along my bed until I was at my open window. It wasn't that far, though, so I just barely moved. I looked out and around at the streets, but saw no sign of anybody climbing up the tree next to my window. I shrugged and pulled it closed before sitting back and just staring out it. I heard a noise behind me and I instantly turned only to feel lips collide into mine. I didn't need to examine the face so close to mine; I knew those lips too well. Ok, so maybe Bruce was right with the rumor… I am gay. But not completely! Only for one person!

So it was only natural for me to wrap my arms around him and pull him closer as he backed me up against the corner. My eyes slid closed as he reached up to put his hand on the back of my neck. It no longer sent shivers down my spine when his tongue ran along my bottom lip; I was used to it. And every time I would feel that, I would part my lips to accept the invite, like I did just now. We never let it get too far, though his hand would always find its way underneath my shirt to caress my chest. Though because I didn't have a shirt on, he already had access to my chest and his hand roamed freely and without hesitation.

But this time, things were different… He broke the kiss and instead of opening his eyes and just looking at me like he usually did, he gave small butterfly kisses along my jawline and his hands massaged every inch of my chest and stomach, sometimes playing with the strings of my sweat pants. His lips moved to my neck and I felt my cheeks heat up. He led a trail of kisses and nips to my collar bone then down further. Suddenly, I realized what he was planning to do.

"Hayner…" I whispered, pausing for a moment to see if I would get a response. Nothing. "Hayner, Stop." Still nothing. I began to wriggle, trying to get out from my pinned position against the wall. No use; I was trapped. "Hayner, I mean it. Stop it," I said sternly, glaring at him the best I could without having it falter on me. Finally, he listened. He stopped just a few inches from my belly button before pulling away, his hands no longer massaging. I continued to glare at him, silently telling him to stop what he was doing. Hey; I'm only fifteen! I'm not gonna lose my virginity just yet!

He looked at me for a moment before sighing and leaning forward to press a small kiss against my lips. Of course, I didn't press back. I was pissed at him. Why would I? Sensing that I was pissed at him and wasn't going to kiss back, he pulled away a few seconds after the kiss had begun. He crawled away and plopped down next to me, about half a foot away. "Sorry, Rox. Didn't know what I was doing," he finally said after a moment of silence.

And for the first time in forever, I actually felt naked. I had never felt like that before, but I knew exactly why; I didn't have a shirt on. Sure, I've gone shirtless when he was around plenty of times, but now… it didn't seem right. I sighed and got off the bed, walking over to my closet. I pulled out a white T-shirt with grey sleeves, slipping it over my head. Once I had it on, I looked at him with a straight face and walked over to the bed, sitting down on it again, though I didn't dare venture to the corner. If I did, I would be pinned again. I knew my boyfriend more than anyone.

He wouldn't hesitate to take control. There was only one time he had gotten close. But luckily Sora had just gotten home just before I had lost my virginity; we were only in our boxers at the time and he had my hands tied to the end table. Hayner wouldn't stop apologizing for months until I finally told him to stop and forget about it, despite the fact that even I could never forget how many bruises and cuts I had due to the fact that he had beaten me up a bit that night. Ever since then, I had been a little more careful around Hayner, giving him what he wanted as long as it wasn't sex and I was always staying on his good side.

"You're thinking about it again," he suddenly said. I turned my head, surprised to see that he was looking straight at me. When I didn't answer, he looked out at the room with his elbow on his knee, his foot flat against the bed. He leaned back so that the back of his head rested on the wall. "About that night a year ago, I mean. You told me to forget about it, but every time you get that look on your face, I can tell you're thinking about it. If you want me to stick to my promise, then you better make yourself one and forget about it as well," he finally explained. I knew exactly what he was talking about now.

I sighed and nodded, looking away. He was right; I needed to forget about it. But I had. Until now, that is. Just because of what had happened just now, I remembered it. It wasn't something very pleasant, but it always haunted me in the back of my mind. I couldn't truly forget about it, but at least I could pretend. A long silence fell over us, the only sound being the cicadas; the sound of summer. Luckily, someone had broken that silence. I looked up as the door opened, seeing my brother standing in the doorway. He was glaring at Hayner.

---

The rest of the day was uneventful. Hayner left soon after Sora burst in, using the window instead of the door like he always had. I didn't go outside at all today; I had no will to. It was way too hot, despite the fact that it was supposed to cool down. Besides, we were getting ready for school the next day. That night, I lay down in my bed and just closed my eyes. My alarm was already set, but I was afraid of going to sleep. It was the dreams I always have. Finally, though, I was able to drift to sleep around 11 or 11:30 PM.

But these dreams have been continuing. And every time, they're of the same time. I often get them confused with reality, especially when I'm in my dream state. I forget all about my real life and plunge into a whole other world where my dream self takes over. I'm still Roxas, the same Roxas I've always been. But my family is different, my friends aren't even real, it's always sunset. I can't help but wonder when these dreams would ever leave me alone.

~*I find the answers aren't so clear. Wish I could find a way to disappear. All these thoughts, they make no sense*~