Watching My Primrose
Author: Shima And Tempis
Fandom: War for the Oaks by Emma Bull
Couple: The Phouka/Eddi
Rating: PG-13 (or T) for sexual references.
Disclaimer: Do I look like Emma Bull to you? Or Fall Out Boy?
Note: Takes place during WFtO, so slightly AU, using the song "Sugar, We're Going Down" by Fall Out Boy.
Am I more than you bargained for yet?
I've been dying to tell you anything you want to hear
'Cause that's just who I am this week
The Phouka stood, as he always seemed to, by the window of Eddi's apartment, his hands clasped behind his back as if he were surveying his kingdom. Eddi had accidentally left her bedroom door open, again, so he could see her small form tossing and turning in her sheets. No matter how lightly he put the situation-or rather, the war-she still had nightmares. Seeing her wince and shiver made his heart hurt to the point where he was willing to tell her anything, even a lie, to make her feel better.
He had been nice enough to keep her mind off the first battle through sarcasm and the band—especially this week, which tended to be one rehearsal after another, sometimes two or three in one day. The phouka knew what she was doing-he always did-but he did not disapprove. Their façade of a normal life kept Eddi from having a nervous breakdown.
Lie in the grass, next to the mausoleum
I'm just a notch in your bedpost
But you're just a line in a song
There were even times when Eddi would just want to go out somewhere-sometimes with her guitar, sometimes without-and she brought the phouka with her. They once went to an old graveyard and sat in its midst, reading off names and making up songs about them. During those times, Eddi treated the phouka like a normal person.
Instead of treating him as the bane of her existence.
The appearance of Willy Silver had startled him extremely, as had the essence of glamour as he hit on Eddi. He knew Willy's true identity, even knew his intentions towards his primrose, and yet the phouka did nothing to stop him as he was pushed aside as a bodyguard only to be replaced by a magic-laced lover.
Drop a heart, break a name
We're always sleeping in but we're sleeping for the wrong team
What else could he do, anyway? Eddi, with all her magical ability slowly being discovered, could not resist the perfection that was Willy. She fell away from her easy-going sarcastic attitude and into a girl wondering how far her boundaries would stretch. Could she be alone with someone? Could she date, even experiment, without all of the Seelie Court breathing down her neck? And he let her stretch her wings, let her fly as far away from him as possible before silently reeling her back in, reminding her of her duty.
Is this more than you bargained for yet?
Oh, don't mind me I'm watching you two from the closet
Wishing to be the friction in your jeans
Isn't it messed up, how I'm just dying to be him?
An invasion of privacy may have been putting the phouka's observations of Willy and Eddi in the apartment lightly. In a way, the phouka had eyes everywhere that happened to be very hard to close. He let her think that she and Willy were fully alone, let her pull Willy into her bedroom and do whatever she needed to do with him.
But he did not stop watching her. He could not. It was his duty to be her bodyguard, even if the man who was now claiming her as his own was one of the most highly regarded members of the Seelie Court. It mattered not. So when she engaged in one of the most ancient rituals between a man and a woman, the phouka watched, his heart aching. Another man was touching her, being allowed to touch her, a man who did not truly love her, who would only hurt her—and the phouka did nothing but watch. She would hate him for it later, but while she endured the irresistible pleasure that came with glamour-induced sex he could do nothing.
And what hurt the most, more than the fact that she was being touched by someone who would most definitely hurt her, more than the fact that she was enjoying it, more than anything else that had hurt him in the past few months, was that he was just dying to take Willy's place and, even if it was only because of magic, be able to share that moment with Eddi.
I'm just a notch in your bedpost
But you're just a line in a song
Drop a heart, break a name
We're always sleeping in but we're sleeping for the wrong team
When they were done the phouka would become a dog in that muscle transformation he was so skilled at, and then he would hide quickly in the kitchen, hitching his breath so that the normally loud panting of his dog's voice could not be heard. They would spend as long as possible together, until finally Willy made his exit, turning down the idea of breakfast while getting dressed. Then he would disappear, and instead of coming for the breakfast she had so wittily suggested, Eddi would fall back onto her bed and revel in the things she had felt the night before.
It hurt more than anything else in the world, watching his primrose.
We're going down, down in an earlier round
And sugar we're going down swinging
I'll be your number one with a bullet
A loaded God complex, cock it and pull it
The first battle had been horrific in certain ways, and wonderful in others. While it was horrible to think so, still the thoughts of how things had turned out made the phouka smile on occasion. The way she had been tied to the battlefield was obviously horrible—it had always been horrible, no matter who the human was. But when she saw Willy, for what he truly was, the phouka almost wanted to jump into the air. However, the rush of the moment had pushed them onward.
And to return to his human form only to be in Eddi's arms—those sorts of moments do not happen by accident. It felt so good, and he knew she felt it too, and yet the moment was broken by battle all around them. Battle seemed to get in their way often—but maybe he was the only party who noticed.
Take aim at myself
Take back what you said
Take aim at myself
The phouka's prerogative had to be putting Eddi's life before his own. He would protect her, take a bullet-or anything else the Unseelie Court sent her way-for her, no matter what. But sometimes he just wished they had met under normal circumstances.
Normal. Funny. The phouka sighed, as Eddi emitted a soft moan in her sleep, obviously of sexual contentment. The shudder that went up and down the phouka's spine was one of a man, and not that of a Faerie or any other creature. The desire building in him every time he saw her was something that only humans could relate to. It was something beyond lust, which made him uncomfortable and yet pleasured all at the same time.
He punched a hand at the wall, leaning on his other arm that lay crooked above him, just above the window that he was now looking out of. Oh, what did it matter? It was Eddi before himself, always, even if it meant dying for her.
Now that she knew who Willy Silver was, knew what he had been doing to her, then all of this sacrifice and uncomfortable emotion just might be worth it.