Summary: Inspired by a Three Days Grace song, named after the song. It could be so easy for him to be like The Master, and for a few moments, he was slightly like him. Yes…it could be so easy, only he refused. After WOM, before EOT.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything; not the characters, the programme, or the song, okay?
AN: I was listening to this song the other day, and I thought it might work. The Master's obviously not alive, and equally obviously…it's the tenth Doctor. Yeah, so the first four or so lines, as you probably notice are quotes…well, The Doctor's thoughts, him flashing back. No slash…sorry guys
Warnings: Angst, sadness, maybe a bit of self loathing, maybe a bit of loathing someone else.
/
You thought you were standing beside me
You were only in my way
You're wrong if you think that I'll be just like you
You thought you were there to guide me
You were only in my way
You're wrong if you think that I'll be
Just like you (Just like you)
You thought you were there to guide me
You were only in my way
You're wrong if you think that I'll be
Just like you
/
"It's taken me all these years to realise the laws of time are mine! And they will obey me!"
"The Time Lord Victorious!"
"…The Time Lord Victorious is wrong!"
"That's for me to decide."
The fragmented flashes of his and Adelaide's conversation floated around The Doctor's head, repeating and smashing against his soul mercilessly. That day…was when he went too far, when he'd overstepped the mark. He remembered it well, unfortunately. He'd been filled with this arrogance, this victory, and a sense of superiority. And looking back on it, with a shudder, he was reminded of The Master. He leant against the console despairingly and shook his head. It was a startling comparison, but it was true. For most of his life, he'd prided himself on being different than The Master, on having a sense of right and wrong, of doing good in the universe, of knowing when to stop. He'd had a few slip ups, but never had it been as bad, never had he gone as far as he had done on Mars. Never. And he was ashamed.
When they were children, and friends, back on Gallifrey; he and The Master had been the best of friends, and he'd looked up to him. And as they continued to grow, he'd strived to be like the other Timelord, he'd wanted to be just like him. However, when the drums took control and The Master's madness came to the fore, he'd fought against his earlier wishes, and became the completely opposite of his insane, former friend. He'd had to, because he saw himself as the only one able to stop him, he saw The Master as his responsibility.
And now…looking at it, he saw how easy it would truly be, for him to allow himself to become like The Master- minus the drums and madness, of course. But for him to hold his attitudes…to carry out his acts. He'd destroyed the Timelord's, he'd ended the Timewar, their planet and their race…and for that, he'd always be in constant guilt, in constant self loathing. Who had given him the right to do that? Who had bestowed the power upon him? Who had permitted him to do everything that he'd done after that? Yes…he was the last Timelord, but he was just one man, and one man shouldn't have us much power as he'd taken from the universe.
The Doctor sat down on the floor and repeatedily ran his hands through his hair. He'd needed to stop, he needed to stop all of this, because he'd lost control so many times…but what was to stop him really losing control? Commiting Genocide, again? Maybe….maybe he should just let go, embrace the darkness and power inside him, because it would be so much easier. He gritted his teeth and shook his head, forcing these thoughts from him.
"No," he growled determindly, shaking his head once again. He'd never liked doing things the easy way, because in this sort of case; that often led to disaterous actions. He stood up and straightened his suit jacket, he turned around faced the console. Without deciding on a destination his hands started to fly, pushing buttons, pulling levers and flicking switches in a variety of complicated combinations. He wouldn't allow himself to become like The Master; he refused. He was The Doctor, and he knew…he knew what was right, but most importantly; he knew that the universe needed him, and he knew that he needed to be ready to The Master once he returned.
And he would do it…many things set them apart, and The Doctor's refusal, his resistance was one of them. He would stop The Master, but he would also stop himself.