#3- 525,600 Minutes (Soifon and Kisuke with a dash of Yoruichi)
Disclaimer: I don't own bleach or any of the plays mentioned below.
AN: Yo! This is another dabble of mine that got out of hand, so it went stand alone on me. A quick, but important warning though (since this will show up in another catagory of fiction): THIS STORY DOES CONTAIN A YURI PAIRING!! The slash is fem and between Yoruichi and Soifon. If this is not your kind of story, please exit the way you can. Thank you.
For the rest of ya: Welcome back (or for those of you who are new) Welcome to my fic! I hope you enjoy! (Promise, it's lighter than the last one.)
Yorusoi ^,^Y
"Kisuke is coming over in about fifteen minutes."
Soifon's eyes grew wide, and she nearly spit out her morning coffee. "What!" she yelled as her eyes shot across the kitchen table and landed on her girlfriend. Yoruichi was still calm as ever, sipping on her morning milk.
As if she hasn't just dropped a verbal bomb on Soi about three second earlier. "I said 'Kisuke will be over here in about fifteen minutes.'", Yoruichi lamented again as she glanced at the digital clock on the stove. "But now it looks like fourteen minutes."
Soifon's narrowed eyes shot daggers at Yoruichi across the table but she didn't seem to notice. "Why would he be coming over here this early in the morning?" It was eight o'clock in the morning.
Yoruichi blinked and looked at her lover as if to say 'duh'. "I called him and told him to come over", was her answer.
Soi's left eye twitched in annoyance. "Why would you go and do something like that? Don't you have to be at work in about twenty minutes?" she asked as she watched Yoruichi stand up from the table with her empty milk glass in hand. Her girl was dressed in a killer gray and brown pinstripe business suit and heels, so she figured that she hasn't called in sick today.
Yoruichi rinsed out the glass and turned to sit it in the dishwasher before turning around to eye the Chinese woman. Folding her arms she leaned back against the counter. "Yeah, I'm still going to work today."
"Then why would you call him over here if you aren't going to hang out with him today?"
Yoruichi grinned which in turn caused her girlfriend to scowl. "That's just it; I'm not hanging out with him today. You are."
"WHAT?!"
Yoruichi's grin grew wider. "I said 'y-"
Soi cut her off. "I heard you the first time! Why would you do something like that? You know I can't stand that man.", Soi growled.
Yoruichi closed her eyes, her grin still in place. "And that's exactly why I did it."
Soi's jaw dropped. "Wait, let me get this straight. You purposefully called the one man that I can't stand to come over today and to spend the day with me."
Yoruichi nodded. "Yep"
"You purposefully called the guy that yanks my chain to come over and bother me."
Another nod. "Right."
"On my day off."
"Correct."
If looks could kill, Yoruichi would no longer be attached to her head.
"I'm sorry", Soi gritted through her teeth. "Did I miss something?" She stood, stalking closer to her clueless girlfriend with fire in her eyes. "Is today 'Purposefully Piss-off Your Girlfriend' Day?!"
Yoruichi cracked an eye, peering down at her fuming woman. She couldn't help but to think how cute Soi looked with her skin flushed red in anger and wild bed hair. Her short stature didn't help either and the tanned woman had to bite her lip to stifle a laugh. "No", she forced between giggles, "that's next week. I can't wait to give you your present, it'll be priceless!"
Soi smacked Yoruichi's arm, but it only caused the woman to laugh harder. "That's not funny! I'm being serious Yoruichi! This is my only day off this month. Why would you think I would want to spend it with that annoying man of yours?"
Still chuckling, the catty woman wrapped her arms around Soi's petite waist and pulled the struggling woman towards her, pressing their bodies together. With another laugh of good nature at Soi's feeble resistance, Yoruichi leaned forward to place a kiss on the Chinese woman's forehead. "And it's for that reason, Little Bee, I do the things I do."
Soifon pressed her hands against Yoruichi's shoulders in effort to push her away, but only succeeded in just leaning backwards enough to see her face. "Explain", she gritted out.
Yoruichi opened her eyes, catching Soifon in a piercing gaze, causing the younger woman to stop her struggles and listen. Yoruichi was being serious on this. "That's the thing Soi, you find him annoying, but Urahara is a really good guy. We've been friends since diapers. I really want you to see the good in him."
"You can't make me like your friends."
Yoruichi sighed. "I know, but the least I could do is give them a chance to sway you."
"What makes you think I can be swayed?" Soi was serious as well. She found Yoruichi's friends hard to understand. The man in question was nothing but a slacker in her mind. Wasted potential who has no regards for rules or authority. And don't even get her started on Shiba.
"All I'm asking is that you give Kisuke a fair chance. I don't think you two have actually sat down and had one decent conversation in all the years we've been dating."
Soi looked away guilty. "Your point?", she mumbled.
The Goddess gently caught Soi's chin, turning her head so she could see her silver orbs. "Come on, just one chance. I think you'll like Kisuke; he's smarter and more motivated than he seems on the surface. And, believe it or not, he likes you, and he wants the same result." Yoruichi leaned in to place a quick kiss on Soi's lips. "Come on", she said kissing her again. "Please Little Bee, do it", she said with her lips brushing against her girlfriend's. "For me?", she finished sweetly.
Soifon sighed, leaning her forehead to rest against Yoruichi's shoulder. She couldn't think straight due to the constant assault on her lips coupled with the use of her pet name. She was also becoming increasingly aware of the arms wrapped around her waist and the heat of Yoruichi's body.
Soi groaned in defeat. Yoruichi could be very convincing when she really wanted to. "Fine, okay. I'll give him a chance."
"Yes!", the tanned woman hissed in victory. She lifted Soi's head and kissed her deeply, pulling away with a grin when the doorbell rang. "Thanks Soi, trust me you won't regret this."
'I don't know about that', Soi thought as Yoruichi hurriedly ran to let her best friend inside.
"Hey Kisuske! What's up?", Soi heard Yoruichi say in the other room. Soi sighed; she seemed to be doing that a lot this morning. 'Might as well get this day over with.' she thought.
After going walking through the door that led into the living room, Soi noticed that the other two occupants of the room were lost in deep conversation, their voices hushed. Yoruichi's back was to her as she faced the blond. Kisuke was nodding his head in agreement at something when his eyes glanced over his friend's shoulder, and landed on Soi. "Oh! Good morning Soi-chan!", he yelled happily, waving his hand at her like a moron, causing Yoruichi to turn around.
Soi's eye twitched again. Why was he yelling when he was only five feet away? A scowl started to form on her face before she quickly wiped it away. She promised Yoruichi that she would play nice today.
Yoruichi smiled at her girlfriend's effort.
Soi gave a small wave, "Morning Kisuke", she greeted weakly. "How are you today?"
Kisuke placed one of his hands on his beloved bucked hat and smiled. "Oh great, doing just fine thanks. And yourself?"
Soi shot a glance at Yoruichi. "Lovely", she answered somewhat dryly.
An awkward silence filled the room afterwards.
"Uh", Yoruichi started, feeling some tension. "I'm gonna go, I'm already running late this morning", she finished pointing towards the door.
"Right, you're working today!", Kisuke said remembering and waved her towards the door. "Well don't let us hold you up."
"Right", the catty woman answered grabbing her work bag. She walked over to Soi and placed a kiss on her lip. "See you later okay?"
"Yeah", Soi said, a small blush coloring her cheeks. "Have a good day."
"Okay, you too.", Yoruichi smiled then turned to leave.
"What", Kisuke taunted as Yoruichi passed him going towards the door. "No goodbye kiss for me?"
Soi's eyes narrowed as she opened her mouth to speak but Yoruichi beat her to it.
"Sure, here you go", Yoruichi answered before chopping the salesman on the top of his head watching her girlfriend grin across the room. "Bye Kisuke.", she waved walking out the door.
"Ow", the wounded man grumbled rubbing his head, while checking his hat for damage. Heaven forbid the bucket hat got creased. "I was joking."
Soi snickered causing the man to smile. "So, uh, what do you want to do today?", Urahara asked as he replaced his hat.
Soi's face turned thoughtful. "I don't know", she replied awkwardly. "I wasn't planning on going out anywhere today."
"I can see that", Kisuke answered with a smirk referring to Soi's current state of dress.
"Huh?", the petite woman said looking down at her clothes for the first time that morning. Her face turned tomato red in embarrassment as she took in her black boy short underwear and matching tank that cut off to show her midriff. "Oh! Yeeeaaah, Ima go and, uh put on some clothes", she said quickly backing up towards the stairs.
"Yeah, go ahead", Kisuke smirked as Soi ran up the stairs. "I'll just find us a movie or something", he called after her.
"Yeah, sure, whatever!", Soi called, already up the stairs.
Kisuke chuckled again as he grabbed the remotes, flicking on the TV and digital cable box before falling on the couch. He hit the guide button, quickly scanning through the movies playing on screen.
A few moments passed before Soifon came bounding down the stairs dressed in red and black sweat pants and a black shirt. "So, uh, did you want anything to eat or drink?"
Kisuke glanced back and smiled. "How about some popcorn? I found a musical marathon on Showtime."
Soi's brow softly creased. "Popcorn, this early in the morning?"
"Yeah, it'll set the movie atmosphere don't cha think?"
Soi shrugged. "Okay", she said moving towards the kitchen, surprised that the blonde followed her.
"Need some help?", he asked.
'Not really', Soi thought. "Uh, sure if you want", she said instead remembering her promise. "You get the bowls and I'll pop the corn."
"Sure!", Kisuke said hopping into motion.
Soi reached into a nearby cabinet to pull out a jar of kernel seeds and set them on the counter by the stove. Then she gathered the butter, salt, and frying pan.
"Oh great!", Kisuke said watching the Chinese woman gather the supplies. "I love stove top popcorn. I like it way better than that stuff you can make in the microwave any day."
This surprised Soi as she turned on the flame and started to prep the pan. Normally when others saw her make popcorn on the stove top, they found it weird. Even Yoruichi didn't care for the method, claiming that it took too long to make the snack.
Impatient woman.
"Yeah", Soi said pouring in the kernel seeds. "I perfer it this way too, the season and butter gets around better this way. I'm surprised that you like it this way too."
Kisuke nodded happily. "Yeah, that's right."
A small smile touched Soi's lips.
After the popcorn was made and the dishes washed (Soi hated for them to sit in the kitchen dirty all day) they made their way into the living room and plopped down on the couch. Soi stared at the screen in wonder before turning to Kisuke. "I didn't know you liked musicals."
Kisuke smiled back as Cats continued to play on the screen. "Yeah, I'm a man who enjoys many arts Soifon." He blinked and raised the remote. "But I can find something else if you want."
"No, no, no!", Soi shook her head quickly. "I love musicals, Yoruichi doesn't care too much for them, but I kinda make her watch them with me anyways", she smiled sheepishly. "I'm just surprised that you do as well." Huh, who'd a thought that they actually have some things in common?
Kisuke chuckled at the thought of his friend being forced to watch people singing in movies. He knew she would rather see things blow up on the screen. "Well that's good, 'cause they're going to be playing them all day."
Soi smiled. "Great."
Later that day.
"Hey, you guys got any sake?"
Soi blinked. "What, you want to drink?"
Kisuke rubbed the back of his neck. The day had been going so well, and it was a habit that he had fell into when he was enjoying himself. But after thinking on his words, he feared that he might of just ruined it. "Well, it's just…"
"Just what?", Soi asked dryly, but wanting him to continue. She too was shocked (and somewhat baffled) that she was enjoying herself and secretly hoped that the man wasn't getting ready to kill her good mood.
"It's just that I've never seen you cut loose before. You know relax."
"I relax all the time!"
Kisuke shot her a disbelieving look. "Uh, huh", he said dryly before nudging her with his elbow. "Come on, it's just harmless sake. Besides, I bet I could last longer than you."
Soifon didn't know whether it was her good mood or the fact that she had been challenged, but she accepted. "Okay, you're on."
"Really?" Kisuke asked, taken back.
"What?", Soi taunted. "You all talk and no walk Urahara? Afraid that you'll lose?"
"Hell no!", Kisuke said rising and moving towards the kitchen. He already knew where the alcohol would be. "You're going down. I'm not going to go easy on you just because you're Yoru's girl either."
"Ooohh, now I'm going to kick you ass Blondie." Soi answered with a grin. "Bring it."
Kisuke emerged from the kitchen with four bottles in hand and two shot glasses, slamming them down unto the living room table in front of them. "Consider it brought."
Somewhat later.
Yoruichi maneuvered her Jaguar throughout the rush hour traffic with ease, just as easily earning car horns and flipped fingers for her movements. But she paid them no mind; her thoughts were preoccupied with her girlfriend and her best friend.
She prayed that everything was alright between the two. She desperately wanted all the important people in her life to get along.
It sure would make her life easier.
The tanned woman wasn't able to pay her board members any attention in the meetings today because of her worries. But she figured that at least both, or rather Kisuke, were still breathing because when she checked with her secretary, she didn't have any messages from the hospital or the police. So that means that Soi didn't seriously hurt him.
She was relieved (and somewhat surprised) when she pulled into the driveway and found Urahara's car still parked out front. Maybe things were okay.
After unlocking the door, Yoruichi could already tell that something was strange. Why?
Well first of all, she smelt alcohol. Even though Soi could very much so hold her own, she wasn't one to usually pop a bottle.
Second, and probably the weirdest thing, she heard singing. "What the hell?", Yoruichi mumbled to herself as she dropped her work bag by the door and moved down the hall way towards the music.
Well, it was music if you consider the sound of dying animals music. It took a minute for Yoruichi to even recognize the tune because of all the off beat and strangled notes and slurred words.
She reached the doorway of the living room and cautiously peeked into the room. Rent was flickering on the big screen, but what caused Yoruichi's brow to wrinkle were the two occupants of the couch.
They were singing along with the song with drunken merriment, waving sake bottles in the air. Well butchering it was more likely.
"Five-hundred, twenty-five thousand, six hundred minutes!", Soifon and Kisuke sweaked out in unison about a half a second behind the characters on screen, all the while hoisting their bottles into the air.
"Oh, my, God", Yoruichi said to herself, the singing duo still not noticing her presence. She covered her mouth to stifle a shocked laugh. She couldn't believe it. They were piss poor drunk and singing show tunes.
No, you don't understand: show tunes!
Singing them, badly.
Piss, poor, drunk.
Yoruichi almost fell over when Soifon and Kisuke threw an arm over each others shoulders and started swaying to the song, their voices rising over the sound of the television. "…how do yoooooouuu measure, meaaaasuuure, a year? In daaaaylights, in sunsetsssss, in miiiiidniiiights, in cups of cooooffeeeee. In inches, in miles, in laughter, in strife. In five hundred, twenty-five thousand, six hundred minutes - how doooo you measure a year in the life?!"
Yoruichi almost couldn't decipher the lyrics. She chuckled as she climbed the stairs heading towards the bedroom, knowing that by the time that she came back down after changing that Soi and Kisuke would be knocked out.
She was glad that her plan of getting her girlfriend and her best friend to get along worked. (Hopefully it would last once the hangover kicks in.) Now, with that victory under her belt, Yoruichi felt that it was time to focus on her next conquest. She pulled her cell phone out of purse while kicking off her heels and quickly dialed a number.
"Hey Kukaku!", the tanned woman grinned into the phone, falling back on her bed. "What are you doing next month?"
Ha! You know what the really funny thing is? I have come home to find this exact scene in my living room. No lie. I don't know how, but my best friend has a knack for talking my girlfriend into doing some crazy crap. And being the loving person that I am, I recorded them and pull out the tape every chance I get! LOL!
Thanks for reading! Tell me ya thoughts!
Yorusoi ^,^Y