Dumbledore's Beard
"Potter, your fans are back." Severus glowered, peering through the drapes, his prominent nose sticking out between the two pieces of cloth; Harry made an illegible grumble behind Severus, while scratching his belly.
"Tell them to leave immediately. They're giving the house bloody moony eyes again." Severus scowled, his nose disappearing from the crack in the drapes.
The man dressed head to toe in black, grabbed his stocky lover by the shoulders and positioned Harry in front of the drapes. "It's your fan club. Get rid of the little imbeciles."
Harry sighed and gave his beard a good stroke. Squinting his eyes in preparation for the morning sun, Harry flung the drapes open, exposing his beautiful morning self and Severus to all.
"EEK!" One girl with pigtails jumped back, her 'I LOVE HARRY' sign falling dramatically to the ground. The two girls standing beside her shielded their eyes with their hands, while one of the other disillusioned females burst into tears.
"You're not Harry!" A girl with braces shouted.
"He looks like Dumbledore!" Another screamed.
"She does have a point," Severus drawled, behind the bearded man.
Harry looked down at his facial hair, which was evidently tied with a beaded clasp. "I thought it looked nice." A girl with a stubby nose fainted as he stroked his beard lovingly. "Perhaps a bit long..."
Severus snarled, bringing a hand to Harry's shoulder. "Tell your pupils to leave Headmaster. There are plants that need to be cultivated by noon. No silly half-brained nitwit and his fan girls are going to make my potions off-white."
"Where did my Harry go?" One of the crying girls cried, Severus' grip tightening on Harry's shoulder.
Harry tugged on the elastic band of his black sweat pants, turning to face his lover. "I know how to get rid of them..." He wrapped his arms around Severus' neck, his beard ticking the older man's chin.
"Will you at least shave that blasted thing after?" Severus pursed his lips, his arms circling his lovers waist.
"Perhaps." Harry smiled as Severus' lips descended on his, two girls emitting a large wail; another fainted, and one ran screaming, her ponytail bobbing in the wind.
By the end of the two men's long winded kiss, only one girl still stood -- one of her eyebrows arched, and an odd little smile spread across her face. She mouthed the word "nice", and gave a thumbs up, her eyes raking over Harry's, hairy body.
"Oh merlin." Severus groaned, drawing the drapes together.
"There's a slash fan in every bunch Severus. But now that most of them are gone or too busy crying... why don't we...?"
Smirking, Severus gave Harry's beard a tug and lead him towards the bedroom, a razor and shaving cream tailing behind them.
END