Curly's Love Potion

Curly, in a final effort to discover where Rhonda's heart lies, ingeniously develops a 'love potion' that makes its drinker unable to resist their deepest desires for their true love. However, when things go wrong and half the class manages to take the potion, things get a little crazy!

A/N: Just a fun little idea that popped to mind! Clearly, no potion like this exists and no brilliant scientific calculations of such truly exist (not that I'd know though, considering I failed science miserably throughout high school)... but, hey, it's a cartoon so 'suspend your disbelief' for me, would ya?

Disclaimer: I hereby solemnly swear upon my favorite pair of jeans, and these delicious raspberry lollies I am eating, that I do not posses ownership of Hey Arnold. I offer my sincerest, and heartfelt, apologies to anybody who thought otherwise. Thank you.

Thaddeus Gammelthorpe, better known as Curly to most, had no time to stop at the zoo this afternoon. It must be understood, that Curly was never one to miss unlatching the tigers enclosure without very good reason. And today, he certainly had a good reason.

"Hey kid."

Curly glanced up at the eccentric, and slightly overdressed, older woman standing among an array of potions and shiny objects, in the small store on Vine Street. Sounds of bells chiming signaled that the door had closed behind him.

"Afternoon, Madame Blanche." he responded, bowing dramatically before scampering past her and down the small set of stairs to the basement space.

Curly had met Madame Blanche years ago, as an eleven year old boy, in the very noble search for a tougher acid to use on the newly upgraded padlocks at the City Zoo. Acids were not her primary forte, however, and as years passed he trained with her in her fine 'art' of spells. Of course, it hardly took long for him to discover that they were largely a collection of mind tricks and soda pop, but there was a hint of valuable scientific formula.

Blanche's basement space, an overcrowded location filled with her latest vials and strangest ingredients, now served as Curly's 'lab'. Upon the far bench of lay his pride and joy, a bubbling substance still confined to a test tube. Proudly, he had called the developing tonic 'Curly's Love Potion'. It had been months, almost a year in the making, but this very potion was the one way to finally determine if Rhonda Wellington Lloyd truly did love him, deep down.

Precisely eleven months had passed since he originally began his calculations, and with some help from an unsuspecting Phoebe along the way, he had been able to develop his greatest accomplishment thus far. He had even been clever enough as to trick Miss Heyerdahl, Hillwood High's brightest mind, into believing that the strangely complicated chemical formulas he presented her with were simply his science homework. Although, admittedly she had been a little confused in regards to his teachers penchant for such advanced studies.

Curly approached the simmering green liquid, which after being left to rest for a painstaking six weeks in light of one final calculation issue, was about to receive its final ingredient. Frustratingly, after spending nights in the library, slaving over chemistry books, and bugging Phoebe mercilessly for her assistance, it had turned out that all the potion had needed for completion was a good old dash of lemon juice.

Immediately upon contact with the zesty lemon liquid, the bubbling green settled and transformed to a glowing amber colour. Curly grinned with delight, his precious formula was ready for trial. Reaching for his eyedropper, two small vials were filled with the potion and, with the lids screwed tight, Curly dropped one into his school bag and one into his coat pocket.

"Madame, I think you'll find I'm done with my use of your basement." Curly announced happily as he climbed his way back into the colourful shop, "Give me three more days to clean up and I'll be out."

The older woman raised an eyebrow, "I'm glad." she said in that typically mysterious tone of voice she enjoyed portraying, as though she held mystical secrets that she probably did not, "Now, as payment for your usage..."

"How much did you need?"

Madame Blanche frowned, and shook her head, "No monetary payment, boy." she insisted, "I simply want a vial of your potion."

He wondered briefly why she would want such a thing, but rather than continue to entertain thoughts of old Madame Blanche having a love interest, he simply decided to honour her request. "Sure, but I need to test it first... to be completely sure of its accuracy."

"How do you plan to do that?"

Curly motioned toward the nearby alleyway, shrouded in shadows in the afternoon sunset, "Use it on a stray cat."

"Alright." Blanche shrugged, "If it works, I'll have a vial and that shall be all the payment I require."

Happy with such an affordable compromise, considering that missing shifts at the family business to work on this potion had rendered him rather low on cash, Curly nodded and exited the shop in the direction of his chosen alley.

Thankfully, he quickly happened upon a large group of stray cats, all rummaging their way through the trash cans and hissing at each other in their fight for food. Sneaking silently, a skill he had mastered during years of zoo break-ins, Curly approached a puddle of water nearby the felines and dropped one small portion of the liquid into the murky water.

Scruffy Tabby, as he immediately decided to name her, came to lap up some of the water just moments later, taking her time to drink in the refreshing hydration along with the essence of lemony love potion. Curly eyed his watch the moment Scruffy Tabby's tongue hit the water's surface, and he sat back and relaxed, in twenty minutes or less the mixture would hopefully begin to work its magic.

'Curly's Love Potion' neither altered nor took anything of its taker, its single and only effect was to liberate the understanding and passions as to ones true love. Really, Curly felt that overall, his creation was somewhat of a public service. After all, years of wasted time, denial and holding back could be eradicated with one quick sip. Not that he intended mass distribution of his serum, at least not right now, his only goal at the present was to administer it to his darling, his princess, in the hopes that she felt for him, what he had always felt for her.

Fifteen minutes later, a loud meow drew Curly from his musings, and Rhonda fantasises, to look up at Scruffy Tabby, who had now made herself very friendly with a tom cat in a trash can. Tom cat, Curly observed, seemed rather pleased by these advances and had begun to purr. Grinning, Curly pulled Scruffy Tabby away, placing the feisty cat by different male, some three feet down the alleyway. To his delight, the cat in question was having absolutely none of his meddling, and simply returned to the tom cat by the trash can.

Curly was pleased, delighted even, and with one final move, a long journey to an alley some four streets away, filled with other cats, he would have his definitive result.

"Show me what you got, Scruff."

Scruffy Tabby was noticeably not happy with her new location, and after staring at Curly for a few moments, and sniffing her new surroundings briefly, she stalked off down the street. She wasted no time, and took no detours, in her journey back to the original alley, and back to her favoured companion, who had looked a little lost and lonely in his trashcan before she jumped on in for the third time.

Cackling with happiness, something he hadn't done for quite a few years, Curly lifted his radiant amber creation to the skies. His potion worked, it ignited a passion for ones true love, and disregarded all others. After patting Scruffy Tabby and her new lover farewell, he scampered back toward Madame Blanche's, full of excitement.