It had been a rather peaceful morning in the Arkham Asylum of Gotham. It was a beautiful spring scene, much different than the usual melancholy weather, where now the leaves and grass were a fresh shade of green and the vivid sky was complimented with a cool breeze. It all really was beautiful - besides the few inmates who had to be tranquilized after coming or the fellow who broke the glass panel in the cafeteria. But outside was beautiful, and even the insane criminals were beckoned by the colorful strands of it that happened to inch their way from the boarded-up windows.
Of these inmates were a closely-knitted group of rogues. It consisted of Pamela Isley, Edward Nygma, Harvey Dent, Harleen Quinzel, and the Joker. They had notable aliases of Poison Ivy, The Ridder, Two-Face, Harley Quinn, and...well, the Joker.
Pamela situated herself on the grass the moment they stepped outside. She spent most of her time delicately brushing every strand and gently whispering things to them. What she said was incoherent to the rest of the rogues, but it wasn't like any of them were listening. Harvey was in yet another debate with himself and was furiously disagreeing with his halves in the background. Edward busied himself with a riddle book - not a surprise to anyone - and Harley was all too busy chattering to an oblivious Joker, who was listening to Harvey's discussions and giggling about something.
This session between the five rogues was interrupted by a figure getting thrown out from the building and onto the grass nearly a foot away from Pamela. Just then, two guards emerged from the doors, wearing their usual black getup despite being in the middle of such hot weather. They looked abnormally angry, which really must've been undeserved because Jonathan wasn't the worst villain being held there at the moment.
"Cause another wreck like that, Crane, and you'll lose your outside privileges!" One of the guards exclaimed.
The figure briefly moaned something into the dirt before turning back to the figures and scoffing loudly. "-You monstrous louts! Dull-witted plot-less of uneventful life bums! Flagrant, miserably-ill mannered cavemen!"
As Crane bickered sophisticated insults to them, the guards turned around and went through the doors, shutting them roughly behind them as they left. Nearby inmates listened to the sound of the locks enforcing from inside. Crane's lanky figure went to his feet as he dusted off the remnants of dirt and bugs from his uniform.
"DOCTAH CRAAANEEEE!"
Without any warning, Harley went forward and jumped onto Jonathan, knocking him down the ground and completely disregarding his work on cleaning his clothes just a few moments ago. The wind was knocked out of him as he fell. He then found the cheerful blonde on top of him grinning wildly.
"Hello, child..." He greeted softly.
"What'd ya' do this time?" She tilted her head to the side curiously. "Did ya' try an' break out? Steal somethin'? Leave yer' cell?"
"I was merely trying to acquire some chemicals for my toxin," He replied dryly. "That is, until I realized some idiot forgot to put his stuff away and I knocked nearly all the components onto the floor..."
The Joker chortled in the background. "Leave it to YOU to make a fool of yourself, Crane! This guy makes 'checking your surroundings before you steal things' sound like disarming a bomb, huh?"
He looked around for approval from the other rogues, who were too invested in what they were doing to acknowledge him. The clown huffed and turned back to Harley and Crane. He noted that she was still situated on top of him. Harley's hips were placed on top of his crotch with her arms on both sides of his head, leaning downwards so her chest was a mere few inches away from his face. Crane must've noticed that the Joker was staring(smart man) and started urging her off from his figure.
"While I'd love to sit here and complain about the unenlightened individuals who threw me out - I'd prefer to sit alone in silence."
"Aww, yer' lyin'!" Harley went on her tip toes to poke his cheek. "I know ya' want company, Doctah Crane! You may act like ya' don't, but you just want a buddy!"
His brown eyes traveled over to the Joker, who was watching them with an intent smile. The maliciousness of it never failed to unsettle him. It gave the Scarecrow the message that being alone with Harley at that time probably wasn't the brightest idea.
"I'd highly prefer some solidarity, child." He tried to motion her off yet again.
"Riddle me this: What is the difference between a school boy studying and a farmer watching his cattle?" Edward asked from the background. He looked up for a response but found that, much like the Joker realized, no one was really listening.
"Oh! Ooh! That's a good idea!" Harley started dragging Crane over to the group. "Why don't cha try an' solve Eddie's riddles?"
Seeing the sight of Nygma made Crane groan. "Is it really necessar-"
"Why, of course it is!" The Joker interrupted, extending his pale arms out before resting one on his knee. "Let's bring that big brain of yours for a little test."
Even though he was chained down to that bench(for the time being), he still found ways to be horrifyingly expressive. Harley sat down next to his figure and motioned Crane on the other side of her. He shifted himself uncomfortably as his eyes darted over to the Joker again. He nudged his glasses to the bridge of his nose and turned back to the Riddler impatiently.
"Is it that one is stocking his mind while the other is minding his stock?" He asked.
"Oh, so you've heard of it." Edward sighed.
"I haven't!" Harley held her arm up. "Gee, you sure are smart, Doctah Crane!"
"Call me Jonathan." He turned to her abruptly. "And these riddles don't necessarily require intelligence - more of thinking outside the box, per se."
"Then riddle me this:" Edward's finger traced a line of text. "Marking mortal privation, when firmly in place. An enduring summation, inscribed in my face. What am I?"
While clinging onto the side of Crane's body, Harley placed a finger to her lip in thought and gazed at the sky. The Scarecrow had stopped thinking about it at this point and simply rested his head in his hand, glancing at Harley and waiting to see if she had the answer. The Joker was also staring at her from the other side - presumably with the same idea at hand.
"Is it a clock?" She asked. "I'm pretty sure they have faces."
"Wrong," He interrupted. "What about you, Jonathan? What's your answer?"
"Without any thought whatsoever, I am going to say, 'a tombstone'?"
"Correct!"
Harley whined and crossed her arms. "These are always too hard! Don't cha' have any easier ones, Eddie?"
"I'm afraid I'd lose my place if I skimmed to the beginner ones." He flicked the page. "If you both want, I can keep going."
"Please, no." Crane begged.
Harley shot up at the idea. "Oh, would you!? I just love thinkin'. Erm, when it's not about somethin' hard..." anyway..."
"You discredit yourself far too much, child." He turned to her sharply. "You were once a colleague of mine. And you own a PhD, correct?"
"Yes I do." She nodded proudly.
"Then why act like you don't understand?" He pushed. This issue had bothered him for awhile now, and he figured getting the answers now was a good time as any.
The Joker cut in. "If she doesn't want to act smart like you, straw-face, then she doesn't HAVE to! That's the beauty of acting, don't you see? It's what MAKES theater! What sparks the show! Pretending you're someone you're not is simply an accommodation."
"Eyup!" Harley agreed.
"I don't get what's so funny about acting like a dimwit." Crane said dryly.
"Mistah J's just revealed this part of me I didn't know existed." She let go of his arm and went onto the Joker's, resting her head on his shoulder and brushing his green hair. "If it weren't for him, I'd still be boring."
"Is that what you call it? Boring?"
"You've got to admit - she has a point." Joker shrugged. "It's much more fun to be in a show than it is dilly-dallying with those chemicals of yours. It's no wonder why you're never the main show, Crane - you're behind the curtains far too much."
"Yeah!" She agreed again.
"I stand by my point." Scarecrow stated firmly. "If you convince yourself you're dumber than you actually are, child, then you'll become exactly what you're envisioning yourself to be."
"How can I be dumb if I have a PhD?" She shrugged her shoulders. "If it weren't for YOU Doctah Crane, I wouldn't have had it to begin with!"
This got the rest of the rogue's attention. Pamela glanced up from the grass, Harvey stopped arguing with himself, Edward shut his book, and the Joker's eyes widened with interest. Crane noticed right away they got attention - and felt a slight crimson shade burning on his cheeks now. Blasted sun! He should have snuck a hat while he was at it...
"What was that, again?" Joker placed a hand to his ear. "He helped you with what, Harl?"
"My PhD!" She repeated happily. "Ya' see, I was a little short on credits one year because I was failin' my classes. Had ta go n' do something 'bout it! And Doctah Crane over here was one of my professors at the time, and he-"
"That's enough, Harley." Crane interrupted.
"No, no, I want to hear the rest." Pamela came over and rested her arm on the bench. "He was your professor?"
"Sure was!" She grinned cheekily, much to Scarecrow's protest. "Chemistry 101. Or, uh...maybe it was the second year I had 'em? Anyway-"
"Why don't you tell us another riddle, Edward?" Scarecrow pointed desperately to his book. "I change my mind about-"
"Let her speak!" Harvey exclaimed from the background. "I flipped, and the coin decided we hear the story. Say something again and I'll bash your head in on the bench you're sitting on, 'Crow!"
This made Crane go quiet. Harley passed them both a look before continuing her story, crossing her legs and clinging onto the Joker's arm.
"-So I came ta' Doctah Crane after class one day, n' I said, 'Mr. Crane, I really need these credits! Please, I'll do anything for a better grade!' An' at first he was really causin' problems with me tryna' get my grade up...so I had ta' convince a lil' before he raised it."
"What changed his mind?" Edward leaned forward, rubbing the bottom of his chin with interest.
She let go of the Joker's arm and went back to Crane, now resting her body on his and squeezing her arms protectively around him. He cringed and made a noise at the sudden pressure. He looked as red as a tomato by this point, which was embarrassingly visible on his normally-pale skin. A slight blush came to Harley's cheeks as well, but it was gone as soon as she came.
"Well, let's just say that I learned Chemistry that night!" She squeezed him harder. "I worked hard, he worked harder, n' I woke up the next day with a passing grade!"
Everyone's eyes widened. Scarecrow ushered her off from him and consciously scooted to the edge of the bench. He held his face in his hand. Secretly, he was trying to cool himself off - get rid of this damned hotness on his cheeks. He could feel everyone's stares on his back as he sat there breathing heavily under his fogged glasses.
"You slept with Crane!?" Edward asked aloud. This caused a few inmates to look from the background.
"Eyup!" She nodded enthusiastically. "Wasn't goin' ta' be the LAST time, either! I had 'nother class of his next year n' that A was practically a gimme!"
When he glanced back at them, he noticed the Joker's widened stare. He was genuinely surprised that the clown hadn't known - especially with how long he and Harley had been together by now. He assumed she'd told him about it at some point or blabbed about the other professors she slept with. Perhaps the topic of him went unmentioned...
"How interesting!" The Joker exclaimed. "It's been awhile since a 'Wild' card has been drawn on me. Kuddos to you, Crane! This actually caught me by surprise."
"I could have guessed," Pamela glanced at her fingernails. "You were always so clingy with him, Harley - not enough as you are with Clownface over there, but still more than you are with any of your other friends."
"Yeah, well...I called him Johnny." She hunched her shoulders up shyly. "N' he called me 'sweetie'."
This earned a few skeptical glances from the judgemental rogues. Harley shyly waved to Crane and giggled. He hated to be acting just as shy as her, but it was inevitable. That was a memory he'd been thinking about so long...and would've highly preferred it if it was kept by only them.
He suddenly stood up from the bench and started pointing in a random location. "I'm going to go and sit by those flowers over there. Alright? Alright."
He left without another word, feeling both their stares and the sun burning on his back. He'd just have to use a sunburn as an excuse for the abnormal redness of his skin. It was practical and reasonable. He heard Harley's voice calling after him:
"I still love ya', Johnny!"
He retreated behind a tree and remained there for the rest of their break.