Fingerprints

I'm trying to erase every mark that I see
But even naked I feel, you're all over me!
I can figure a while and maybe no one will know
All the traces of you (traces of you)
I can't never let go!

Gail hated weddings. She hated mingling, pretending that she was having a good time. And most of all, she hated it because it reminded her of the last wedding she attended, she was with Holly. It reminds her of what she is missing. Of what she has been missing this past year. Weddings with Holly is more fun. She remembered dancing with Holly that night. She remembered the stupid lesbian questions she asked Holly. She remembered the coat room. She remembered the kiss. Their first kiss. The kiss that gave her sleepless nights after. It was the kiss that changed her life forever. The kiss that explained everything that was missing in all her relationships. Holly made her see who she really was. Holly made her realized that she was and is in fact a lesbian. But most of all, Holly made her realize that she is more than what she thought she was. Holly made her a better person. But time was not on their side. She fucked up and when she realized that she fucked up, Holly had accepted another job. And she had asked Gail to move with her to San Francisco but she had to stay in Toronto because she was adopting a little girl, Sophie. If she had not been such a brat and stormed out of the Penny that night, and maybe if only she had picked up one of Holly's phone calls, maybe, just maybe, Holly would never had applied for that job in San Francisco. Holly would be here in Toronto with her and they would have Sophie. But she was a Peck, a cat who climbed the tree the moment someone she barely knew and one whose opinion should not have mattered get to her and threw away the most wonderful person she has ever met. In the end, they made their choices and even if they loved each other, it just wasn't the right time.

She is thinking of ways to get out this wedding. The only reason she is here is because of the free booze. Maybe she will just drown herself in alcohol and try to avoid Frankie Anderson. Sure it is obvious that Frankie wants here and maybe, just maybe with enough booze she can just for once scratch the itch. It has been so long. Too long. God knows she's had several offers in the past but a part of her didn't want to taint what she and Holly had. And maybe, she just wanted Holly's fingerprints to stay on her body. She didn't want to erase the marks Holly left behind.

And this year has been shitty. She lost Sophie to a really nice family. She knew chances of getting Sophie was a long shot but she was committed and there was no turning back. Then her brother as it turned out was a dirty cop. And her parents wanted her to cover up for him. In the end, Steve told the truth so that Gail didn't have to lie. She hates Steve for what he had done but in the end, he was still a big brother. Steve told her that he could live with being a dirty cop because it was his choice to be one but he could never live with himself if he made Gail, his little sister lie for him and ruin her career. Growing up, Gail has always been in a dilemma in both living up to the Peck name and escaping it. Gail was a lot of things but one thing she took pride in was being a cop, and a loyal person.

So many times she wanted to pick up the phone to call Holly because she just needed to hear her voice. Her voice always calmed the storms inside her. There have been times she wanted to buy herself a plane ticket to San Francisco just to see her and feel her warm embrace. But she was so afraid, so afraid to find out that Holly has found someone new. Or that Holly will turn her away.

She sits in the corner and watch the people interact with each other. She heard different voices, people she knew and didn't know. But out all those voices, she heard a very familiar voice, and that laugh, she remembered so well. She thinks she is hallucinating. But when she looked up and looked across the room, there she was in front of her, in a beautiful, body fitting, deep red dress is the woman who has been haunting her dreams this past year. She had to blink twice to make sure she wasn't dreaming and that Holly is real. She had her hair down, the natural waves cascading past her shoulders. Her hair looked longer than the last time she saw her. She also looked thinner but definitely fitter than before. She is so beautiful. Nothing has changed, Holly still takes her breath away. And that crooked smile that drives her insane.

They both took steps towards each other. They can both feel everyone eyes on them. From the corner of her eye, she can see Traci smiling. She can hear Chloe squealing.

They were still a few steps apart.

"Lunch box.'

"Plus One Forever."

From this day on
I never knew what it's like
To be without you,
To breath without you!
I try running away,
But you won't disappear
I guess it's sinking in
You'll always be right here!