Sonny sat by herself in the dressing room she shared with Tawni, strumming absentmindedly on her guitar and looking out the window. Things the past couple of days hadn't been going so well, what with Chad distancing himself from her for God knows what reasons and Marshall demanding more and more of her musical talents on the show. She was just tired.
Just when she thought she had gotten a few moments of peace and quiet, time to sit alone and think about what needed to be thought of, Tawni came barrelling through the door and made Sonny jump.
"There you are! I've been looking all over the place for you!", Tawni said, sitting down next to Sonny on the floor and grabbing a cushion from the chair. "Still not feeling too well?" This was the excuse Sonny had been giving Tawni lately, as the blonde seemed to become more and more in tune with Sonny's emotions.
"Yep. Plus, I am tired of writing for the sake of writing and not because I feel it, you know?" But the blank look on her friend's face told her that she didn't know. "It's like your comedy. You can't just come up with something hilarious on command, you need to feel inspired, to give it a second's thought." When Tawni's eyes lit up in the way they did when she understood, Sonny set her guitar down on her lap and smiled.
"I'm sure if you told Marshall that, he'd understand."
"I'm not so sure of that. I mean, the past couple of weeks, bringing music to the show has made our ratings higher even than Mackenzie Falls. I don't want to disappoint. I have a couple of ideas up my sleeve, but I just need a change of atmosphere or something..." When Sonny trailed off, looking down at the strings of her worn guitar, she felt the gaze of her friend and looked up. "What?"
"Well, if you need a change of atmosphere, a little inspiration, why don't you head on over to The Falls?", Tawni replied, a little hint of mischief in her voice. But Sonny shook her head sadly, placing her chin gently in her hand and sighed.
"There's something wonky going on with Chad. He's been pulling away a little lately, and I think I need to give him some space. It seems like every moment that I am not here working on comedy or my music, I'm with Chad, working on a 'doomed-from-the-start relationship'," said Sonny, picking up the tabloid she bought that day at the supermarket.
"Of all the people to fall victim to that trash, I thought you would be the last, Sonny", said Tawni, ripping the magazine from Sonny's hands and throwing it across the room. "But, if you think it's space he needs, then give him space. Just," and at that, she looked around the room, as if looking for the words she wanted to say. When nothing came to her, she sighed helplessly, "take some time off or something. Work on you. You keep giving and giving. Why don't you take?"
Sonny almost laughed with surprise at her friend's request, but when she saw that the blonde was serious, she stopped and her mouth dropped open. But the more she thought about it, the more she noticed that the blonde was right. For the past seven months since she got back from Canada, Sonny had been working, on both So Random and The Falls, been recently writing music for the show, and less for herself, and spent every remaining moment with Chad. She slowly nodded.
"Yeah. Yeah, I think you're right. I think I need to take a little vacation, maybe this weekend. I need to figure things out on my own before I move forward to figuring things out with other people. Thanks Tawni."
"No problem, Sonny. I just really want you to feel better so that our next song will be even bet-", but at the startled and angry look Sonny was giving her, Tawni closed her mouth and shrugged sheepishly. "Never mind."
--
"What do you mean, you're not going to be here the rest of the week?", boomed Marshall's voice. Sonny flinched, not expecting the outburst. Marshall was usually calm, nice even for a boss. This was a new side of him Sonny had never come across before.
"I haven't been feeling well for over a week now, and I think I am at my breaking point. Look, I know Nico and Grady have been working extra hard on this new idea for a skit, so why don't you let them show it to you and add it in where my song was supposed to go. And, Portlyn is guest-starring this week, so you have that extra person to fill in for me in group sketches. It's not my turn for an individual one. And, as for the song.." and Sonny started shuffling her feet at this. If Marshall was mad before, it did not compare to how mad he was about to get. "I haven't come up with one. I don't know what's going on. I think I am not just not into the song writing from not feeling too well. I assure you though-", she added, seeing his face turn more and more red with every word she said, "-that when I get back, I will have a whole line up of ideas for songs, and one fully written one, ready and rearing to go for next week."
"Sonny, this isn't like school, where you can go home sick. This is your job, this is a hit tv show!"
"I know, I know. But, I can't do this right now. I am not feeling well, and I can't write anymore, and I am just.. just so confused about EVERYTHING!", and at that, Sonny fell into a clump in the chair across from Marshall's desk, and cried.
"Sonny? Sonny, look sweetie, I'm sorry. I don't mean to be harsh, but you gotta understand, this is Hollywood. You aren't in Wisconsin anymore. Besides, it's not only our fans who are expecting you to sing on the next show. There are record labels who have been watching you, listening to your sound and deciding if you're right for them. And there is more than one interested. If you all of a sudden stop, then they will all of a sudden stop paying attention," came a much more soothing Marshall voice, one that Sonny recognized more.
"Record labels?", Sonny asked through the tears. Marshall nodded and handed her a box of tissues.
"Listen, here's what we'll do. We will close the set for this week's episode. Nico and Grady will do their new sketch, funny or not, we will continue with Portlyn, and we have some rehearsal footage of the new Check It Out Girls sketch that is perfect. We will edit that into an episode, and air it. It will be different, but if you need time, we will give you time."
Sonny nodded, smiling as the tears dried up and she got out of the chair. "Thanks, Marshall."
As she put her arms around the older gentleman, he sighed and whispered, "But don't take too much time."
--
Sonny's hands shook as she typed out the text she had practiced and edited many times for Chad.
Chad, Gone away for the weekend. Need time to think. Please don't try contacting me. Sonny xo
Sonny hated sounding cliche and over dramatic, but the only way this was going to work was if she tried doing it on her own. When she left the set, her guitar in it's case in her trunk and blank sheet music in a folder beside her, she was dead set on taking this journey alone. She knew the perfect place to head to, a place where inspiration was sure to hit, as well as many memories.
It took her a matter of minutes back at her place to pack up a bag of old, comfortable clothes and some other knick knacks, like a sketchpad and her fully charged iPod. It was convincing her mom to let her go that deemed to be the problem.
"Mom, it's one weekend. It's not a lifetime. Besides, it's not like you don't know the place," Sonny urged, shoving toiletries into her little case and throwing that on top of new magazines her mom had bought her just that day.
"What do you mean, it's not like I don't know the place? We've never been to Oregon!"
"We have. Once. Don't you remember? Don't you remember who lives there?"
"No. No I-", but as realization hit, Sonny's mom's face fell, and she sat on the couch. "You are going to visit your dad's parents?"
"Not necessarily. They offered me a room if I ever need it, and I need it mom. I really, really need it," Sonny pleaded, her eyes locking with her mothers, the same shades of brown meeting, understanding passing between them.
"Fine. Go. But, call me once you get there and once you are set to come home. I want you back Sunday afternoon at the latest. You promised Marshall you'd be back at work Monday," came her mother's voice. Sonny didn't know if she detected resignation in there, or if she imagined it. Deciding to ignore it, she pulled her luggage strap over her shoulder and headed for the door. "Love you, hunnie!"
"Love you too, mom."
Once Sonny was in the car, bag beside her luggage case and her iPod plugged into the stereo system, some good old classic tunes filling up the empty atmosphere of her car, she let her foot off the brake and drove off. Settling into the seat, and adjusting the sunglasses on her nose, Sonny just hoped something, anything, would come of this journey other than more awkwardness.
--
a/n: I'm back. With a sequel. I did say that once the second season of SWAC aired, I might become more inspired. So, here we are. I am so glad they are including her music now. SO GLAD. That leaves so many possibilities...
-Danni P.S. Please review. I'd like to know if this is worth continuing or not :)