Dude, where's my unicorn?
Pete and Ed, after an entire day's chasing down the Giants from the North, were on their way home to Cair Paravel when suddenly, they felt the pangs of extreme hunger viciously gnawing at their intestines.
"Yo Ed, wouldst thou, by any chance, have a bear burger on thee or somethin'? I'm dead starvin' man".
"Sorry dude, I'm out, ate everything up two hours ago. Stuff was starting to go bad."
"Ugh."
After about a quarter of an hour more of riding (and quite a few moments of seriously considering eating grass) they spot a McNarnia in the distance, its magnificent golden Lion's head gleaming in the late afternoon sun.
"Dude, check it out! I knew not that they hath put up a most gloriously marvelous McNarnia in these parts!"
"Hot!"
They made their final approach in three minutes. They wanted to go ride-thru, but their hind parts were really sore from all that riding that they considered walking in. They dismounted from their chargers. Ed from his black shiny stallion, Pete from his white spotless unicorn. They went and parked their faithful steeds at the Stone Stable. They entered McNarnia and intently scanned the menu overhead.
"Check it out man", blurted Pete, "they got the Son of the great Emperor-Beyond-the-Sea meal, which includeth a quarter-pound char-broiled bear burger, large beaver-cut fries and 32-ounces of fire-flower juice. And it cometh with a free Aslan action figure dude!"
"Really dude, the one that hath a beautifully fraudulent but nonetheless real-looking mane?"
"Uh huh, fully poseable too"
"Sweet"
They came to the counter and ordered two Son of great Emperor-Beyond-the-Sea meals with extra apple sauce to go (it was getting a bit late, see). Being the thoughtful lads that they were, they remembered their sisters at home, and got two more Son of the great Emperor-Beyond-the-Sea meals, but with the stuffed Aslan toys (which also had beautifully fraudulent but nonetheless real-looking manes), char-broiled bear burger with fat-free dressing and zero fries.
"Wait", Pete put a hand to Ed's shoulder. "Didst thou get diet fire-flower juice dude? You know how those girls are always so dang worried about their weight and everything. You don't wanna suffer the wrath of a queen, dude, let alone two". He'd suddenly remembered the last time they got the girls something NOT diet. It wasn't pretty.
Flashback
The banquet hall was chaotic. The queens were furious.
"What the fudge were you idiots thinking, making us eat all that grease and sugar and cholesterol?" Susan roared, heaving a chair at Pete.
"How the fudge do you morons think we'll fit into our dresses now?" Lucy was fuming as well. "The Grand Ball is in 2 hours!"
"I didn't know!' reasoned Ed. He ducked in time to dodge the table Lucy threw at him.
"Yeah right, you never know!"
"It was an honest mistake!" Pete explained. "The pizza-faced dork at the counter never told us that they had diet anything! We thus assumed--"
Susan was starting to fit an arrow to her bow. "Always assuming. Men."
Ed's voice rescued him from his nightmarish recollection, "of course I got diet juice dude, otherwise I may just as well have let those nasty, idiotic, evil, stupid, moronic giants scoop me into their loving arms and bite mine neck off".
"Which wouldst you prefer?"
"The latter" They both sniggered.
"This wouldst be a nice addition to my Aslan action figure collection man", said Ed, smiling, as they exited McNarnia and made for the Stone Stable. But what met them there made Ed stop dead in his tracks. Pete came in after Ed and almost bumped into him. He wondered why Ed was standing there, looking rather shocked. He followed Ed's line of sight and what he saw made him drop one of the Son of the great Emperor-Beyond-the-Sea meals he was holding.
"Dude, where's my unicorn!"