House-A-Minute: Human Error
Rescue People: These guys are in the ocean. Uh-oh.
Esteban Hernandez: I have a name that's difficult to type. Save me and my suitcase!
Rescue People: Screw your suitcase. Now I'm going to drown you (drowns him, then hauls him up)
Esteban Hernandez: (gibberish in Spanish)
All: Huh?
Esteban Hernandez: Dr House! (As if everyone just immediately knows who that is)
Opening Credits: I have spooky pictures.
House: Blah Blah, I'm arrogant and don't do my work. I'm also stalking Foreman.
Wilson: Quit it.
House: (to ducklings) She had too many antibiotics. Do something productive. Foreman, you're right about everything.
Chase: F you, House
Wife: Cameron, before I go into this CT scan, I'm going to tell you a touching and personal story, just like every patient on my show. My husband doesn't pray.
Cameron: Kay.
Wife: My arms broken. That sucks.
House: Here are her X-rays. Foreman, you're right again.
Chase: You're a dink. Stop agreeing with Foreman.
House: You're fired. Peace.
All: No! Un-fire him!
House: Nope. Ps, do you know what the result of the test was, Chase?
Chase: Yep.
House: Too bad, I still don't like you.
Wife: (Heart stops) Ow, my heart.
House: How are you talking?
Wife: I dunno. (dies)
Team: (Does CPR for 3 hours)
House: Why did her heart stop?
Students: I dunno.
House: Not good enough, F minus minus.
Cuddy: (says "Bypass" like twelve times)
Wife: (On byspass)
House: Why don't we know why she isn't working?
Esteban Hernandez: (Praying)
House: You're screwed, she's dead.
Esteban Hernandez: (Starts bawling and hugs him) I'm sorry, wife, I love you. Now you're dead .. Wait, no you aren't.
House: Huh? Screw you God. You messed up her heart. She has an extra valve thingie. We'll fix you with another surgery. (He's right.)
Cameron: (quits, sees Chase, tells him she doesn't want him, then stalks him at his apartment and they make out)
Foreman: (Leaves) I don't like you, even though you asked me to stay.
House: F you, then. Oh, goodie, a new guitar. (Goes drinking with the Spanish guy)
Esteban Hernandez: Woo, vodka!
Fin
