Not Quite a Dream

How long has it been since we last saw each other? I remember sharing a rather sad (for me, at least) farewell with her back when we graduated from high school.

But there she was, five years later, sitting in front of me, inside a café I frequented. Completely coincidental. I don't think she even knew where she was sitting—I had to call out to her before she finally noticed me. I'd call it fate, but through the past years I've been too terribly realistic to believe in such a thing. Might be my job, or maybe I'm just growing old. Probably both.

She, however, didn't seem to have changed at all.

"Hime-chan!" she immediately recognized me, yelping out the nickname she's always had for me. And as she would've done before, she threw me a big hug, practically leaping across the table. Hardly fitting for a girl her age, but Yui's Yui.

And we chattered like old friends. When she told me that she was now a teacher in Sakura High and was supervising the Light Music Club, I couldn't help but laugh. Yui, a teacher? She pouted when I laughed again.

As for me, I became, of all things, an idol producer. It was honestly one of the last things I expected myself to be, and I wasn't too eager to start it when I first started, but it turns out Eri, Akane, and even Yoshimi had been working around the same business—Eri a secretary to the same company I work for, Akane a beautician, and Yoshimi a tailor. And my idols were fun to be around, so it wasn't all bad.

Yui thought it fit me. I could deny her, but from the start, I never really did figure out what fit me. I never did do much thinking.

We talked about many other things, and it became a habit for us to meet up in that café every now and then.

It's been a year since then. When we walked home once and found out we live relatively close to each other, Yui's been frequenting my apartment for some reason. Not that I mind, but I never could quite figure out what's on her head. Not now, and not even then. I suppose it's one thing I've always liked about her.

Yui: "Yeah, yeah! Sara-chan was really mad today, and we ended up not getting our tea time today."

She plops down tiredly onto the low-sitting table. I smile at her, laughing.

"What happened this time?"

Yui: "I think it's something about Ai-kun playing video games instead of doing homework?"

She rises from the table and pouts.

Yui: "That shouldn't be a reason to stop tea time, though! Sara-chan is so mean!"

"Hahaha—she reminds me of Akiyama-san at times."

Yui: "You think so too!?"

Our evenings usually consisted of this. Talking about different things in the middle of our meals, mostly about work, and our respective children we're taking care of. Yui, her students; me, my idols. I'm usually the one cooking, mostly because I'd rather keep Yui away from the stove. And the knives. For various reasons.

Like a kid, though, she also occasionally talks with her mouth full. She's around 23, isn't she? Honestly, she hasn't changed at all—the thought going through my mind as I wipe her mouth.

Yui: "How was work for you, Hime-chan?"

She asks after swallowing her food.

"Me?" I hum thoughtfully. "Well, the usual. Mika's a regular in a show now, and Nessa got accepted in an audition for a major role in a movie." I smile, scratching her cheek. "Not the usual, I guess."

Yui: "Things are looking really good for them, aren't they?"

"Hey, this is just the beginning."

Yui: "That's the spirit, Hime-chan!"

We share some laughs as dinner finishes itself with some more conversation.

Hirasawa Yui, that clumsy girl I remember being late on the Light Music Club concert on my second high school cultural festival.

The girl, cheerful blob of optimism—lazy and apparently unmotivated. That's pretty much all I knew about her, until she was assigned to the seat next to me—next to the window, just like a manga protagonist—and we began talking to each other.

I'm not sure when it started, but it was some time during my senior year in high school. When I noticed, I was following her with her eyes. Just looking at her profile.

We're friends. I'm sure we have at least that kind of relationship. Not to the same level as she's friends with the Light Music Club members, of course. I'm below that to her—that's how I feel. It's probably untrue in her case. Hirasawa Yui's kind. She's kind to me. She's kind to everyone.

We're friends, but…

I want to monopolize her.

It's not a big thing, but eventually, I felt like the feeling had gotten bigger and bigger.

At that point, the feeling had grown so big I began to think of it as love. Maybe I was correct, but either way, I just feel like I should shake it off as a mistake of my younger years. Many times, I thought of… confessing to the innocent girl.

But if I did that, what would happen? I honestly couldn't tell. Would it just cause her trouble? Would it disgust her? I kept thinking, and on occasion, wondering if it would be better to just erase the feeling. Believe me, I've tried.

I've been by her side for pretty long. She sits next to me, after all. We've been around each other long enough that I should be tired of looking at her. But still, my heart raced a little when our eyes met.

I couldn't possibly erase that feeling. It was impossible.

So I just told her one day.

She was telling me tales of her beloved Light Music Club. We laugh together, and smiling at her, I told her.

"I like you, Yui."

And, almost immediately, without even as much a blush, she just smiled widely. "I like you too, Hime-chan!"

I already knew that.

She liked me. Hirasawa Yui liked me. She liked me as she liked everyone else.

I didn't have the courage to tell her what I meant by "like". And I never found that courage.

So we bid each other farewell, liking each other.

Another evening in my apartment, and my usual guest knocks the door, and calls for my name. I let Yui in as usual, and she lies down onto the soft carpeted floor.

Yui: "It's always so comfortable in your apartment, Hime-chan."

"What? It's not much different from yours."

She grins at me.

Yui: "If you came there more often, then it would be just as comfortable as yours."

I laugh. Sometimes I wonder just what she's trying to do when she says things like that, but I just shrug it off.

Yui: "So, so! What's for dinner today, Hime-chan!?"

I sigh knowingly, shaking my head. She's like a cat.

"You're lucky I always make more food than I can eat alone."

Yui: "Aren't I?"

She blinks her eyes appreciatively.

Well, it's hard to cook for one.

Dinner passes, and Yui starts to leave for her apartment.

Yui: "Thanks for dinner, Hime-chan! It was delicious!"

"No problem."

She faces me, smiling.

Yui: "I'm coming tomorrow, too. So please cook for two by accident."

…

My face goes red.

…

Honestly, just what is this girl trying to do?

"S-sure," I reply awkwardly. "Make sure you're here, then."

The red leaves of autumn flutter into the empty classroom.

I don't know whose idea it was to open the windows during such a cold day, but I feel like kicking them. I can feel the fact that winter's just around the corner deep through my bones.

School's been over for quite a while now, but I had forgotten the homework I was supposed to turn in today, so I've been stuck redoing it in the classroom. It's when I finally finished that I just noticed I'm not alone in the classroom. I didn't think I was capable of that much concentration.

Next to me is the sleeping Yui, head laid on her arms, breathing peacefully. With the gentle wind and the leaves, it's as cliché a scene can be. I sigh knowingly, and shake my head, smiling. Putting my homework in my bag, I rise from my seat and head towards her to wake her up—

And a thought crosses my mind.

Honestly, it's such an indecent thought. Shake it away as I sit back down, watching her sleep.

"Yui," I call softly. "Yui!"

I look around, and blush.

"Yui… chan." Quietly.

That indecent thought again. I rise from my chair, sling the bag onto my shoulders, and face the direction of the door…

… only to turn back towards the sleeping Yui. Slowly leaning in towards her face. Heart thumping wildly. A few centimeters.

And it strikes me—what the hell am I doing? I reel back, and look around again, face flushed in heat. It's hot. It's fall, the wind is cold, and winter's just around the corner, but it's hot. I remove my cardigan, and gently lay it onto her sleeping figure.

I proceed to leave the classroom quickly, stop by the faculty, and rush home.

The last thing I expected when I wake up the next day was the doorbell ringing. Honestly… she did say she'd be here the next day, but this is too early, especially for a Sunday. I groggily head for the door, honestly not sure if I should turn her away for now.

But I never did quite get the hang of refusing Yui. Not now, and not even then.

I open the door to her smiling face. "Mm. Good morning, Yui. You're up early for a Sunday."

Yui giggles.

Yui: "I did say I'd be here, right?"

I lean onto the door's frame, crossing my arms, smiling sleepily. "Really early for you, I mean."

Yui: "Oh, don't mind it, Hime-chan."

She replies casually. I sigh knowingly and let her in anyway. I blink sleepily, and stretch as I watch her invite herself into my living room as she always does. "It's odd."

Yui: "What is?"

"You appeared in my dream last night."

Yui raises a hand to her mouth, as if in shock.

Yui: "Hime-chan, have you been thinking about me that much?"

I scratch my head, looking away. Ah, my hair's still a mess. "Maybe."

The dream runs through my mind. It's not quite a dream, I guess—it's a vivid memory of mine. It's embarrassing, but I can't quite let it go. I blush, and look at the other direction. I put my hand down, and bring it behind my back to take the other hand. I avoid her eyes.

I laugh awkwardly.

"They used to say that the person who appears in your dreams is in love with you."

Yui blushes, and fidgets.

Yui: "Ehehe…"

?

She looks up at me.

Yui: "It's true."

…

?

!

What—

"H-huh?"

Hirasawa Yui smiles. A warm smile, directed at me. Singling me out of everything in the world. That's a cheesy way to put it, but it's the only way I could describe it.

Yui: "I dreamt of you today, Hime-chan."

The cold autumn wind.

Yui didn't feel it underneath Himeko's cardigan. She breathed out, sighing as she opens her eyes.

Himeko's already gone.

She lifted herself up making sure the cardigan doesn't fall off, and looked out the window, observing the autumn scenery. And Himeko, rushing to leave the school.

Yui looked at her blankly. She felt rather depressed.

She pulled Himeko's cardigan tighter around herself. "Tch..."

An afterword of sorts edited in:

As a reviewer had pointed, the classroom scene was taken from a doujin. I published this in a rush, so I forgot to credit it, I'm embarrassed to admit. You don't have to believe me, but that's up to you.

The artist is Sakayama Shinta, Pixiv ID 303943.