Disclaimer: To all of you idiots out there, yes, I do own Harry Potter. To all of you nonidiots out there, I actually don't own him. Damn...

A/N: Siliness and insanity ensues.

Ever wonder about those deserts that Hagrid makes? Yep, so did I, and here is the result:

"Oh yeah, you might be more powerful than me, but I have something that no magic has any affect over, so Mwahahahah!!!" Voldemort ranted

"And that would be what exactly?" Hary asked in surprize.

"Hagrid's cakes!!!" Voldemort said as he began to throw Hagrid's cooking at Hary and Dumbledor.

"Ow! they hurt, they hurt!!!!"

"Find a happy place, find a happy place. Yes, that's it, you are walking on the beach. The gentle waves are coming up to our feet. Oh...look at the cute seagle. No! No! Bad seagle! No, get that nasty food away from me! Ow god, they hurt like hell! What the hell? How is a cake harder than a freaking rock?" Blaise (girl) ranted as she closed her eyes and tried to get away form the insanity.

Meanwhile, Voldemort was pelting everybody with Hagrid's cooking, which for all of you who don't know is incredibly awful and hard.

"Is my cooking really that bad?" Hagid asked.

"Yes, now, I'll pay you 2,000 a year and I'll let you be grounds keeper of Hogwarts if you cook for my enemies for as long as I say. that way we both win: you get loads of money, and get your job back, and I get to torture my foes and watch as they scream in agony when they either die of starvation or their teeth fall out. Mwahahhahah!!!" Voldemort ranted.

"Hey Hermione?"

"Yes Ron."

"Is this a dream?"

"Can I pinch you and find out?"

"You most certainly can n-ow!!! What did you do that for, that REALLY hurt!!!"

"Sorry, but I had to check."

POOF

"Sirius! You're alive, horray!" Hary yelled as he skipped-yes, skipped- over to his godfather.

"Yes, I'm seriously alive. You know, this author doesn't go along with the books. Ow, my eyes, my eyes! No, no, I'll be good, I swear, just please, no more images. No!" Sirius then procedes to crawl up in a little ball and suck his thumb after seeing the image of Voldemort in a black lacy thong.

A/N: Should I continue? If so, please review me with a yes or no. Lots of love, Jackie G.