Malfoys Don't Love
Goldfish
-Year Two-
"Polixenes, Silvius!" Twelve-year-old Draco Malfoy looked up at the small girl walking forward to be Sorted. She didn't seem perturbed.
"That one's a Slytherin, that is," said Goyle, two seats over.
"I've heard her last name before," said Pansy. "Her father's a pure-blood. I don't know who her mother is, though."
"Slytherin, then," Draco said, looking up at her again. The Hall waited with baited breath.
"RAVENCLAW!" shouted the Hat. Pansy's jaw dropped.
"Her father was a Slytherin!" she said, confused. "That doesn't make sense!"
"Not everyone goes to the house their parents were in," said Draco, rolling his eyes. "Wasn't Zabini's mum in Ravenclaw?"
"No," said Blaise. "She was a Slytherin, Malfoy. Your aunt was a Ravenclaw, though." Draco shrugged.
"She was," he said. "But my mum and dad never talk about her."
"What was her name again?" asked Pansy. "I liked it."
"Andromeda," said Draco. "Stupid woman… married some Mudblood. Mum hasn't spoken to her in nearly… I dunno, fifteen years, maybe?"
"Pansy asked for her name, not her life's history," said Blaise, sneering. Draco rolled his eyes.
"I didn't ask for your opinion, Zabini," he said, looking at him loftily.
Draco turned to look at the Ravenclaw girl who so obviously belonged in Slytherin. Just the way she carried herself proved that she was confident, to the point of Slytherin haughtiness.
"That girl must be bloody brilliant to belong in Ravenclaw," said Draco. "She just looks like a Slytherin!"
"I know," said Pansy. "We better be friends with her." Draco nodded. He noticed that her brown hair swished a little when she got up at the end of dinner.
-Year Three-
"Can I help you?" asked Silvius coolly. "I've noticed that you've taken to following me around the library. Need some help or something?" Draco almost flushed.
"No," he said. "I wanted to meet you." He held out his hand, and was reminded painfully of doing the same thing to Potter two years before.
Silvius looked at his hand doubtfully. Draco felt a lump of fear rise in this throat.
'What do I have to be afraid of? A second year Ravenclaw? Not remotely frightening… What's wrong with me?' he thought, annoyed at himself.
Then he felt her hand in his and he gulped the lump back down. His heart sped up a little. He let out a breath he didn't even know he'd been holding.
"Silvius Polixenes," she said. "You?"
"Draco Malfoy," he said, smiling down at her, trying to appear aristocratic. She snorted.
"Ah, a Malfoy after my precious friendship. Look, Malfoy," she said, "I have no desire to become engrossed in the Dark Arts like your family."
"I never asked you to get the Dark Mark," said Draco irritably. "Is it completely impossible for me to just want to talk to you?" Silvius looked him over.
"Not impossible, no," she said. "Just incredibly unlikely." Draco rolled his eyes.
"Well, I'm not out for that. I just wanted to know, wasn't your father in Slytherin?" he asked her. Silvius sighed.
"He did say I'd never grow out of that reputation…," she said, sounding slightly defeated. "Yes, he was, but he's a good person. Can that subject please be dropped?"
"Would you be insinuating that, as a Slytherin myself, I'm not a good person?" asked Draco. For some unknown reason he wanted her good opinion.
"I don't know you that well, Malfoy," she said. "Is there anything else about my life you'd like to interrogate me about?" He stood, stunned.
"No," he said. "But I was hoping we could be friends."
"I thought Slytherins were friends among themselves," she said, eyeing him, looking curious.
"Mostly, yes," he said. "But when we do branch out, it's usually Ravenclaws. You're intelligent," said Draco, smirking. "Anyone could hold a conversation with most of you."
"I don't know whether to be flattered or insulted," she said. "Is that the only reason you're talking to me, because I'm a Ravenclaw, and you're allowed to talk to me?"
"No," he said. "I want to." 'But your being a Ravenclaw certainly helps.'
Silvius looked him over again. She smiled for the first time.
"Alright, Malfoy," she said. "I'll give you a chance." Draco smiled back, a real smile.
"Call me Draco," he said. "Please," he added as an afterthought. She laughed. She tapped him on the face lightly.
"Alright, Draco," said Silvius. "But you better call me Polixenes!"
"But that's so complicated!" he said. "I haven't got your Ravenclaw intelligence! I have to call you Silvius!" She laughed again.
"Cheater," she said. "Want to sit with me at the Hufflepuff-Gryffindor Quidditch match?" Draco nodded.
"D'you mind if I bring some of my… uhm… friends?" he asked.
"No, I don't," she said. "Mine will be there too." Draco grinned.
"See you around," he said. "I need to find a book for Charms."
-Year Four-
"We're having a Ball?" asked Draco. "That's painfully unfair!"
"I dunno," said Pansy, "it could be fun!"
"You're a girl, of course you think it'll be fun!" said Crabbe. Pansy glared at him. Draco and Blaise looked at each other. They knew one of them would have to go with Pansy. They both secretly wished it to be the other.
It was a race; who could get a date faster, Draco or Blaise?
-
The day after the Ball was announced Professor Snape called all of Slytherin house to the Great Hall.
"As you know," he began, "the Yule Ball has been announced and is approaching. Also, this is a dance, so you are expected to be respectful of our foreign guests. If I hear any student from Slytherin has gotten themselves into any kind of trouble, there will be hell to pay." He glared at them all. "Also, dress robes to be worn." He then dismissed them all.
Draco, Pansy, Blaise, Crabbe and Goyle all headed to the lake. They still had an hour before curfew.
"Any idea on who you're gonna ask?" asked Blaise quietly, so Pansy couldn't hear.
"No," Draco lied. "But you know one of us has to go with Parkinson."
"Yeah," said Blaise. "Whoever gets another date first is a lucky bastard."
"I agree," whispered Draco. "Maybe we could convince Crabbe or Goyle to go with her."
"I dunno," said Blaise, "I'd rather go with her then go alone."
"True," said Draco. "So, whoever gets the date first, right?" Blaise nodded, and then joined into Pansy and Goyle argument over what subject was harder, Divination or Ancient Runes.
-
A week later, Blaise and Draco were both still dateless. Draco sat at the Slytherin Table in the Great Hall with his face in his hands.
"Maybe it should be whoever Parkinson says yes to first," said Blaise miserably. "We've got a week or so left! We need to pick up the pace!"
"Soon she'll be asking us," said Draco.
"Shut up, here she comes," whispered Blaise.
"Hi, boys!" said Pansy, ruffling Draco's hair. He sighed, irritated. "What's on the agenda today?" She began shoveling pancakes into her mouth.
"As its Monday, the usual schedule is on the agenda," said Draco. "Didn't change from last Monday, did it?" Pansy giggled. Draco sighed, exasperated.
"No, I suppose it didn't," she said, smiling.
Draco looked at the doors to the Great Hall to look at something else. Then she came into view. She was laughing with Padma Patil.
Silvius Polixenes.
Blaise followed Draco's gaze and saw her.
"Damn you," said Blaise. "You're going to ask her, aren't you?" Draco jerked his eyes away from her and looked at Blaise.
"I was thinking about it," he said, avoiding Blaise's eye.
"Well, fine. Ravenclaws are 'allowed'," he said, using air quotes. "I've got to find someone else – I mean someone to ask." Draco smirked.
"Who turned you down, Zabini? Millicent?" Blaise glared.
"No," he said. "It's none of your business, so shut up!" Draco snorted, and helped himself to some toast.
-
"S-Silvius?" asked Draco, gulping. How had he thought he had the courage to do this? What was he, a bloody Gryffindor?
"Hm?" she said absently, staring at her book. She hadn't heard him.
"Silvius?" He tapped her on the shoulder. She jerked and looked up at him.
"Oh! Draco! Sorry, this chapter's really important for exams." She put her books down.
'Maybe she does belong in Ravenclaw,' he thought, disgusted that she was already worrying about exams.
"Hi," he said, nervous. 'I've got no reason to be worried. It isn't like I care about her, anyway.'
"Hi," she said, smiling. "Need anything?"
"Um, yeah, actually," he said. "I was just, um, wondering if you'd like to go to the – the Yule Ball with me."
To his immense displeasure, her face fell and she looked a little nervous.
"Oh," she said. "Um… I'm so sorry, Draco. S-Someone else asked me last night, and um, I-I said I'd… go with him, y'know? I'm sorry." Draco took a deep breath. He felt… strange. He couldn't quite place how he felt.
"Oh, right, then," he said. He had almost walked away, when he turned and asked, "Who?"
Silvius looked at him, and almost smiled. "Promise you won't kill him?" Draco nodded. "Um… Anthony Goldstein. In my House, your year, y'know?"
"Yeah," said Draco. "See you around."
Draco burst into the Slytherin dorm twenty minutes later, fuming. Goldstein had his eye on the same girl?
"Stupid half-blood…" he muttered. He grabbed a well of ink and threw it at the wall. It dripped over Crabbe's bed. He sat on his bed and put his face in his hands again. He felt pricks in his eyes, and he realized he was close to crying. He stiffened, and willed the tears away.
'What are you almost crying for? It's just some stupid girl. It's not like she matters or anything! Malfoys don't cry! You don't think about it. Just go with Pansy, dammit!'
Draco got up, and walked into the Common Room.
"Pansy! Hey, Pansy!" he called. Pansy was talking to Blaise. 'If he asked her first…' He thought.
"Yes, Draco?" she asked.
"Want to go to the Ball with me?" he asked, already knowing her response.
"Oh, yes!" she said, giggling. She hugged him and he unwillingly hugged her back. Blaise gave him a look of 'what the hell?' but didn't stop him.
-
"Why'd you ask Parkinson before I got a date?" asked Blaise. They sat at the Ball while the girls gossiped about who looked best and worst. Blaise had ended up with Millicent anyway. Draco looked at the ground as he replied.
"Turned down," he said. "Didn't want to go with anybody else." Blaise snorted.
"Well, you got the better of the deal anyway," he said. "Ugh. Millicent is taller then me!" Draco chuckled.
"I guess," he said. "Still, Goldstein got to Polixenes before I could. I don't see why she wouldn't just agree to go with me and break it off with Goldstein!"
"Because she, unlike us, is a Ravenclaw. She actually cares about people's feelings sometimes," said Pansy's voice behind them.
"Yeah," said Draco. "Want to dance, Pansy?" He regretted the words as soon as they were out of his mouth. The fast song that had been playing stopped, and gave way to a slow love song. He groaned and Blaise snorted next to him.
"Sure," said Pansy. "It's not like it matters, eh?" Draco looked at her, startled.
"You alright?" he asked.
"Yeah," she said.
-Year Five-
"Still pining after that Ravenclaw, eh?" said Blaise knowingly. Draco wrenched his eyes away from Silvius, who was staring sickeningly into the eyes of Anthony Goldstein.
"I am not pining," said Draco. "Mal-"
"Yeah, yeah, 'Malfoys don't pine', I know," he said, rolling his eyes. "You know, Draco, if you just let yourself feel sometimes, you might not hate everyone around you."
"Shut up, Blaise," snarled Draco. "I hate you!"
"My point proven," said Blaise, getting up. He walked out of the Great Hall and headed to Transfiguration.
Draco stared at his plate for a few moments. He didn't hear the voice yelling his name until it was right next to him, poking his shoulder.
"Draco! Draco!" He looked up, surprised to see Silvius next to him in Blaise's seat.
"Oh! Oh, hi," said Draco. "What's up?"
"Anthony," she said, rolling her eyes. "He's so possessive. I can't take it. He needs a Hufflepuff girl, not me."
"So break up with him," said Draco. How was this a dilemma?
"But I'd feel so bad," she said. "He keeps telling all my friends how much he loves me… I definitely don't love him. I dunno… Have you ever loved somebody and then they just like, threw you away?"
"Never loved, no," said Draco. "Malfoys don't love." Silvius raised her eyebrows.
"'Malfoys don't love'?" she asked. "That's ridiculous! Everyone loves! It's like asking if you breathe!" Malfoy snorted.
"No," he said. "Breathing is a tad easier."
"Fine," said Silvius, "breathing is easier, but you can't deny it. Everyone loves."
"Why do you always have to be right? Why can't anyone else ever be?" asked Draco, annoyed. "Why can't you just let it go? Malfoys don't love!"
Silvius sighed. "Draco, I'm always right for two reasons. One, I'm a Ravenclaw. Two," – she smirked – "I'm a girl." Draco glared at her.
"That has absolutely nothing to do with it!" Silvius giggled.
"Yes, I know, but it was perfect," she said. "I couldn't pass it up."
"I could take points, you know," Draco said, sneering at her. He tapped the silver I on his chest. "Inquisitorial Squad and all." He smirked.
"Ugh," said Silvius, "you joined that?" Draco felt like someone had punched him in the stomach. He felt winded.
"Yes," he said. "My father nearly insisted. And besides, it's nice having power like this." Silvius looked at him and snorted.
"You're completely abusing it, though," she said. "Slytherins." She sighed. She began to get up, but sat right back down.
"Well, I forgot why I was here for a moment," she said. "Look, I wanted some help getting rid of Anthony." Draco raised his eyebrow. He liked where this was going.
"I don't want to break up with him," she said, "but he can break up with me."
"My, you have a devious mind for a Ravenclaw," he said. "I never thought you'd try something so… mean." He was grinning.
"Oh, ha ha," she said. "He won't keep his hands off me! So I was thinking he could walk in on us snogging or something, if you're okay with that."
'Very okay. More then okay. More like, "Hallelujah my dream come true!" kind of okay…'
'Oh, shut it. You're a Malfoy. Keep your goddamn composure!'
"Alright," said Draco, attempting to hide his broad grin. "When, and where?"
-
"Is he coming?" whispered Silvius.
"Yeah," said Draco, "he'll come. I threatened him with points, and God knows, you Ravenclaws… it's all you care about, innit?"
"No, it is not!" she exclaimed quietly.
"Oh, yeah, you care about exams, too," Draco looked down at her, smirking. She glared at him.
"Shut up, Draco Malfoy," she said.
Just then the door handle jiggled a little. They heard Goldstein mutter a swear word, then "Alohamora!" and the door swung open.
By then, Draco had already begun kissing Silvius. And it was amazing. Her lips were doing mad things to him, and Draco had lost himself. He had forgotten all the emotions Malfoys didn't have, and just let this happen to him. He couldn't stop the ecstasy that was bouncing through his veins.
All too soon, Silvius pulled away, and looked abashed. She was acting, but she was very good.
"Oh! Anthony! Anthony, wait! I'm sorry!" she ran after him. He had left the room without Draco noticing.
"You were kissing him back! Silv, you were kissing him!" Anthony yelled. "He wasn't kissing you, you were kissing him!"
"He was so kissing me, are you blind?" said Silvius, sounding annoyed.
"Fine!" said Anthony. "I'm not getting into this conversation! Go for a Slytherin, the slimy snakes! We're through!"
"Fine!" shrieked Silvius. "At least he has a sense of humor! All you talk about is homework!" She returned to the room where Draco stood, stunned. He was stunned both by what Silvius said to Goldstein and by what had just happened.
'That was better then I'd ever even dreamed it could be,' thought Draco. He looked at Silvius who was smiling at him.
"Thanks," she said. Draco tried to make a sound. It sounded like he was choking on air. She giggled. Then she put her arms around him in a hug. "Really," she said, "thank you. I don't know how I'd be able to keep putting up with him."
Draco looked down at her, his eyes still wide. He finally got his vocal cords working.
"Y-You're welcome," he said. He slowly moved his arms around her. He couldn't believe this was happening. Every terrible but amazing dream he'd had in the last four years usually revolved around her. And now this was happening…
She smiled up at him.
"You're such a good friend, Draco," she said. She was leaning closer. She kissed him softly, so softly he wasn't sure it was there. The slight pressure drove him crazy, and he couldn't stop himself.
He kissed her back and held her close. When he pulled back, she smiled at him.
"What was that?" she said. "Malfoys don't love?" She winked at him, and left him standing there in the trophy room, mouth wide staring after her.
'That just happened.'
-Year Six-
"DRACO!" shouted Silvius. Tears were streaming down her face as she grabbed the front of his robes. "What have you done?"
"What I was told to do!" he yelled back.
"Who would tell you to do this?" she shouted. She looked through the trees up at the tower, the Dark Mark hanging over it, and Dumbledore's broken body at the foot. "How could you do this?"
"I'm not sorry, Silvius!" shouted Draco. "You won't make me sorry!" The lie came off his tongue easily. What had he done?
"Yes, you are! Don't you lie to me, Draco Malfoy!" she yelled. "You just destroyed everything! Everything you could have had! Don't think I don't know! Pansy Parkinson told me all about how you talk about me! I'm not stupid, Draco! I know you care about me!"
"I don't! Malfoys don't love!"
"I never said anything about love, Draco!" she shrieked. "I said 'care'!" Her voice lowered. "You could have had me, Draco. But look at your school! Look at what you've done!"
"I've done what I had to!" said Draco, his voice wavering. "You don't understand!"
"So make me!" she said. "I think I can catch on!"
"Fine!" he bellowed. "My father is in Azkaban! Because of Potter!"
"Harry Potter has nothing to do with this!"
"He does! He's the one the Dark Lord wants! I gave him what he wants! My job was to get rid of Dumbledore!" Silvius gasped.
"No," she said quietly. "No, Draco, please, tell me you didn't!" She grabbed his arms. She shook him hard, which was surprising since she was short compared to him. "Tell me you didn't kill anyone, Draco!" She let go and backed away as he didn't answer. She kept saying, "No!" quietly.
"I didn't, Sil. I didn't kill anyone," he said, his voice quiet. Her arms were around him again within seconds.
"Oh, thank God," she said. Tears rolled down her cheeks at an alarming speed. Draco put a hand in her hair.
"I do care about you," he said quietly into her hair. "A lot." Silvius looked up at him.
"Draco, you still have a chance. Go to McGonagall or someone like Harry Potter or a Weasley or something. Tell them you need to change."
"Absolutely not! I will not put my dignity in the hands of Potter or Weasley!"
"You have to," she said. "If you want this to be right, you have to."
"I can't," he said. "I can't turn my back! H-He'll kill me!" Terror entered his voice. "A-And my father! What will he say?"
"They'll protect you! They'll protect you, Draco! Please, Draco!" she begged him. She leaned forward and kissed him hard on the mouth. "Please," she said, almost silently. "Don't be bad!"
Draco felt his eyes prickling again. He hadn't felt like he might cry in years. He shut his eye tight.
"Don't fight it, Draco! Cry, if you have to!"
"No! Malfoys don't –"
"You aren't a Malfoy!" she shouted. "You're Draco! You're your own person! Now cry!" And he did. He looked at her, his vision getting more and more blurred, until finally, a tear rolled. He couldn't control himself after that.
His body was wracked with sobs. He was crying for Silvius, for his mother, for his father, and for himself. He lay on the ground with his head in Silvius' lap, sobbing. She played with his hair as he cried, letting everything out.
"Silvius," he said after an hour or so. His tears had stalled, and the two were sitting in silence.
"Yes?" she said.
"I… I lo-love you," he said. "I-I know, I've always said Malfoys don't love, b-but I really think I do. I think I might…" She smiled down at him.
"I know you do," she said, looking up again. "I've known that since my third year." Silence. "I think I might love you, too, Draco." She looked down at him, her face shining with tears.
"Why are you crying?" he asked.
"Because," she said, "this is the worst night of my life. But you made it the best." He reached up and put a hand on her cheek.
"Nice to know," he said quietly. She chuckled darkly.
"Yes, I suppose," she said. The silence around them ebbed and noises began to seep through the trees.
"Oh, no," said Draco. "Here he comes."
"DON'T CALL ME COWARD!" screamed a voice.
"Who is that?" asked Silvius, sounding terrified.
"Snape," said Draco. "Silvius, leave. Run to the school. Just get out of here! Please, I'll find you, somehow." She looked up at him.
"I might never see you again," she stated.
"I know," he said. "I'll do anything to make sure that doesn't happen." He leaned down and kissed her fiercely. She looked dazed when he pulled away. "Now run. Run!"
"I love you," she said.
"I love you," he said back. "Now please run!" She turned and fled, and Draco breathed a sigh of relief as he saw her tear across the grounds. He turned and headed toward the voices, but Snape told him to leave. He told him to head into the Forest. Draco turned and obeyed, his thoughts with Silvius.
Would this become right?
'It has to be right,' thought Draco. 'Malfoys don't love anything. But I do. So this has to be right.'