The heart dies a slow death, shedding each hope like leaves. Until one day there are none.
Memoirs of a Geisha
The world is a cruel place. People see only the mask and never the person underneath; the dying human or what's left of whatever they were before. My story is not very much unlike theirs. I was rich, I was famous, I was beautiful and I had everything a person could ever dream about. People stare, people gossip, people want autographs, people want everything from me and never seem to notice what is there underneath the stupid, giddy façade I put to keep myself protected. No one seems to care. I was virtually unloved by everyone who was supposed to love me. My own mother didn't even see a reason to care about me.
"All you are, ever were, and will be to me, is a one night stand and a bottle of wine."-Said my oh so loving mother.
Yes, I was a bastard child. My mother was my father's whore who he consequently fell in love with. Did he notice me? No, he sent me to Paris, to London, and so on. At first I believed it was because he loved me, yet then I grew up and realized he was only getting rid of me. All the nannies, tutors, boarding schools, the list goes on; anything he could do to rid himself of me he did. I was only his love's nuisance. He finally sent me to the Tipton hotel. I'll never forget when I first met Maddie, the candy counter clerk. She was a beautiful blonde who could literally make any man swoon at the sight of her.
"Hi, I'm Maddie. You must be London. So, why did you decide to live her instead of Paris?" Said a very curious Maddie. I could not answer with the truth. I gave people the truth and it only ended up hurting me in the end. Eventually everyone leaves. So once again the façade goes u.
"Because I'm rich and want to live in my very own Penthouse. Did I mention I was rich?" I say with an overly ecstatic voice laced with stupidity.
"Oh yes, you have made that quite clear. Well, um... I'll be down here if you need anything." She said with a dumbfounded expression on her face. Meanwhile the Mr. Mosby calls out to me.
"London, your luggage is in your room, along with the room renovations that have finished for you." Said a very strained Mr. Mosby.
"Yay me!" I said as I clapped my hands and turn to leave, but can't help to overhear Maddie's comment.
"God, such an idiot. I hope you don't expect me to be her babysitter or anything. I think I felt my IQ points dropping as I spoke to her." Said a very vicious Maddie.
The world is a cruel place. People only see what they want to see, not what they need to see. People only see a stupid, overly giddy, idiotic London; not a smart, dying person in need of saving. If only people tried to see past their own busy lives to see the people who need saving the most; people who you'd least expect it to be, the people who hide their faces behind pride, insecurity, beauty, and even stupidity. If only people tried to care for others than for themselves. Life is not kind, and I have learned that the hard way. Even the man who claimed to love me once stated that all love comes to an end, or just an end with me that is. Rejection is something I know how to handle. Rejection is easy; don't ever give your heart away and you'll never truly get trampled on. I once gave my heart to my father and he only called me a such piece of trash not worth his time, 'and if I weren't so damn young I'd have rode you out a long time ago.' Even my mother laughed as he said it, and called me her little whore. The world is a cruel place.
The only people I could even get close to being myself were with Zack and Cody. They were the twins that ruled the hotel. They always had a little crush on me, and yet I knew at some point that would come to an end. I enjoyed my time with them while it lasted. Zack always lamenting over his long lost love cost-Maddie, and Cody's swearing of Zack's never getting to high school graduation. Out of the two boys, I related to Zack the most. He appeared cocky, aloof, and academically challenged; yet he was actually kind, caring, and very smart. He did not want to compete with Cody, because competing with Cody was useless. We both felt misunderstood and somewhat alone. He, of course, did not know about the real me, the one dying on the inside. I just couldn't do that to him. To him the world was uncharted territory that was completely glorious, not savage as I have realized it to be. I could not kill his dream. He and I grew very close over the years and yet I knew that the end was coming, and come it did. Even he left. Everyone leaves, and there I was once again dying without anyone to save me.
I remember the time Mosby asked us to share our life story, and once again I felt the loneliness creep its way back up to me again. The others shared stories of love, adventure-being alive; and I hated them for it, because I so desperately wanted to feel that as well- alive. When it was my turn I quickly put up the façade making sure that I got every detail right within my lie.
"Well, my mother was beautiful. Just like me! And she married the richest man, my father. They belonged together and when I came along, daddy gave me all kinds of things, that only you could wish for- and yet I wished I could just be one of them, to trade this lonely, rich, miserable life for their simple ones- like diamonds, and rubies, and all kinds of gems. He'd take me to Paris every time it was my birthday and even gave me a perfect nanny! He only sent me here because he and my mother are away on several business trips and have to permanently stay in Europe at the moment but didn't want me to have to make all those changes. I have everything anyone would want- except want I truly wanted: love-so life is perfect. Yay me!" I finish with witnessing a few eye rolls and some slight snickers. They actually believed the lie. Maddie eyed me for a moment as if she knew something was off, like there was more to the story than I told. But when Nathaniel walked up a gave her a quick kiss and she quickly forgot. Forgot what could have been the single most important conversation in my life, the conversation that could have changed me. Yet a kiss from the perfect boyfriend quickly takes priority over the conversation that might have saved someone's life.
The world is a cruel place. I never thought I would get to this point to where I would even consider this. The pain, the emptiness, the loneliness, the unloved could only take a toll on me for so long. I looked carefully at the knife that could quickly end it all. I imagined that in a perfect world, someone would find me and beg me 'no! Don't do this! Can't you see how many people care and love you?' But this is not a perfect world. I slowly brought the knife to my wrist and sliced it open and the other watching the beautiful crimson liquid flow out. For the first time, I felt something; life and it flowing out of me. It was a beautiful yet terrifying scene to behold. I was escaping being only an accident to my mother, a nuisance to my father, an idiot to my friends, and a selfish being who thought of myself higher than everybody else. I wanted people to finally see who London really was; my diary was lying open beside my now collapsing body. Who would've ever thought; who would've ever known? My life screamed luxury, wealth, and beauty; and yet everything else was shadows. I gazed upon my ceiling as I lay on my bathroom floor covered in blood. I was dying physically, yet I had died a long time ago.
The world is a cruel place.
So what do you guys think? Love it or hate it? It's a little angsty, but I really like London's character. She's the perfect character to have a completely different side to. So please review and let me know what you think!