It's been a while hasn't it? This story is inspired by Good Charlotte's song Beautiful Place.
Bam stared at his mother holding back the tears that threatened to escape his eyes. His heart was completely crushed and no one could fix that. It was 11 months to the day when Ryan had been taken away from him. April smiled weakly "come here, Bam," she whispered holding her out her arms to embrace her son. Bam walked over to his mother and began to cry."Can we start over? Before the world came and made me colder," April pressed Bam closer feeling the weight of the world perched on his shoulders. Bam sniffed "I wanna feel the way I did back then, with love in my heart," suddenly he felt trapped. He needed to get away, gently pushing his mom away Bam ran outside.
The afternoon sky was painted with oranges and pinks, something Bam didn't expect. He lit up a cigarette and began to walk; having a large backyard had its advantages. "This place is beautiful," he breathed against the air "and you're no longer here to share it with me," Bam felt a twinge in his heart. Greedily he pulled the smoke into his lungs as he continued to walk, memories starting to make their way back to him. His eyes ventured to a small grassy area and he stopped frozen, Bam swore, he could see himself and Ryan. Slowly he began to walk towards the grassy area, straining his eyes, trying to comprehend the vision before him. "Bam! You idiot," it was Ryan's voice "Where the fuck are my keys?" Bam couldn't help the smile that formed. "I don't know man," Ryan sighed before he grinned. Suddenly they were both on the ground "TELL ME!" Ryan yelled but Bam only laughed.
They were suddenly gone and Bam once more felt so lonely and cold, it was as if his heart was becoming dark as the rain. The crunch of sticks and leaves caught Bam's attention and he turned around to see Phil. "Hey," his father said gently Bam said nothing just continued to look at his dad. "Abe told me you ran out on her," Bam nodded feeling guilty "I just wanted to get away," Phil nodded "I understand, son." They fell in silence for a moment "Hey dad," Bam said breaking the silence. " Bam's eyes began to fill with tears again "can we start over?" Phil looked away not knowing what to say. Bam nodded "go back to the places that we lived, before the days made us older." Phil walked closer to his son "I want to feel the way I did, be-before Ryan died, before my heart grew cold." The words stung Phil but he did not say anything, letting his son vent. Bam flicked the butt away from him "go on home, dad," Phil shook his head "I'll be okay, I need to be alone for a while." Phil couldn't ague and walked away, leaving Bam to his memories.
"You know you never were like this," Bam heart stopped for a moment looking around for the source of a familiar voice. "Yeah idiot, it's me," Ryan's voice came out loud and clear. "How is that even possible?" Bam questioned, Ryan suddenly appeared with a shrug "the fuck should I know?" he grinned and suddenly Bam wasn't cold. Ryan looked around "It's a beautiful day, no?" Bam nodded his head "it's even more beautiful if we make it," the silence after Ryan spoke was deafening; it had been so long since he had heard his best friends voice. "Ryan, nothing is the same without you," Bam whispred, Ryan walked over to his friend "I know it's not." Ryan laughed and Bam couldn't help the tingle that ran down his spine "You need to move on now," Bam felt tears prick his eyes "This life is too beautiful to be wasted, don't you know?" Bam shook his head "it's a life where I can't live without you." Ryan grabbed Bam's face "you need to understand that I love you," Bam's eyes locked on Ryan's "please," his friend begged "let this love, take away all your pain."
Bam began to cry openly now, so aware of Ryan's finger tips pressed against his neck. Aware that this moment would soon end, and so aware that his heart was broken beyond repair. "I love you, man," Ryan whispered "and I miss you," Bam never took his eyes off of Ryan's. "I needed to come back and let you know that, it's okay." He pulled away from Bam and gestured to the sky "We live in a beautiful place, and even if I am not here I DO get to share it with you." Ryan hugged Bam "we wasted so many days, didn't we?" Bam laughed "I remember, everywhere I look, there you are," Ryan smiled "Good let that keep you going." Bam stepped back from Ryan realizing this time was about to end, but he didn't feel the wave of panic he thought he would. "Now," Ryan said "stop being a bitch," Bam laughed out loud and wiped at his tears "yea, yea, dickhead." Ryan grinned once more, brightening the dark rain that was in place of Bam's heart "later," and with that Ryan was gone. A peace washed over Bam that he hadn't felt in the longest time; pulling a cigarette out he finally walked away.