The enemy of my enemy is an angel,
For it is under his sword that we unite,
And in his absence, we die by suicide

– Alexander the Great (attributed)

Five minutes until takeoff and I have no idea what to say. I'm just staring at this stupid coffee and feeling her eyes on the side of my head. I can feel her seething, but I don't know what she wants from me. She's the one running away.

I clear my throat and wonder what wisdom Misato imparted. She probably had something prepared – I hadn't even thought of it until just now. I guess I didn't really want to believe it was happening.

"I... I hear it's really bad over there," I mumble. Asuka shrugs.

"I'm sure it's not as bad as people say. You know how these stories get exaggerated."

"Yeah, I guess."

And then we lose the thread. Four minutes to go and all I can think about are all the times she's mistreated me, and all the bad blood between us that I want to clear up before she leaves. We were getting better, but we had a ways to go and there was always more time. I hate this I hate this I hate this say something you idiot!

"Rei's uh... she's really sorry she couldn't be here."

Asuka snorts. "Is she now?"

"Yeah, she told me to say bye to you, too."

"Well tell her that's very nice, but that after several years of passive-aggression this whole friendship thing probably isn't going to happen."

"Asuka-"

"It's fine. Really," Asuka stretches and cracks her back. "I'm not exactly torn up by any of this. A couple of weeks at Euro Division and I'll be the greatest Evangelion pilot on two continents. I'm good at making friends, Shinji."

Liar. Misato and I are the only ones even here.

I want to tell her I'll write to her, but I'm not even sure that's true. She'll be traveling, and even though we're enlisted it'll still be classified, I'm sure. The new rules are still really confusing to me. I feel like they never tell me anything. Which I suppose makes them remarkably similar to the old rules.

Three minutes. Misato could probably tell me her bases at least, but I have a feeling that even asking means that in three weeks I'll just be sitting at a desk, staring at a piece of paper, still completely wordless.

Three weeks without Asuka seems like an unknowable expanse of time. Honestly, it's not even like we're that close it's just... she's always been there. Always. Since fourteen, through the Angels and the siege and the fall and now the war, she's been Asuka. She's been a pillar when I've crumbled like a house of cards, and as embarrassing as it is to admit, I've needed her. This all feels wrong – something that's not supposed to have worked out this way.

I want to tell her that I don't want her to leave, but I already know I wouldn't have a reason why. She's the last friend I have.

If Asuka feels any of this, she makes no sign of it. "Well," she picks up her bag, "guess there's no sense just waiting around here." We stand, awkwardly facing each other.

Two minutes left, and I can't even open my mouth. After a moment of inaction, Asuka begins to turn away.

Stopping herself halfway, she turns back and pulls me into her body. Hugs are a rarity for her, and for a moment, it feels like she's told me her darkest secret. So you are afraid.

Finally I manage to say something: "Do you think we'll ever see each other again?"

I can feel a smile bloom against my ear. "Of course we will, idiot." Asuka holds me for another moment, and releases.

She smiles her devil's grin, waving a hand as she walks towards the airplane. "See you in another life, Third." Then she's lost in the great metal maw of another ugly machine.

On the ride back to headquarters, homeless children throw rocks at the windows of our car. One of them recognizes me and tries to break in through the windshield, but they back off when Misato shows them her gun.

The rest of the ride is quiet and boring.

We're not ten steps into headquarters when Hikari rushes up to salute Misato.

"Colonel!" Misato signals and Hikari slackens. She's always been a stickler for rules. I don't even think we're required to salute out of uniform. "The commander's expecting Shinji-kun upstairs."

And them I'm in an elevator. After so many years of traveling down into the Geofront, the new vertically reconfigured headquarters still throw me for a loop. The Nerv Tower is a hundred stories high, and almost a mile long. It's a ziggurat. I get dizzy when I think about how many people live inside of it.

But that's not my job. Piloting is.

I wonder if Asuka's falling asleep on her plane ride.

The doors open and I'm staring at the smiling face of Major General Charles Ng, acting commander.

"Shinji!" Ng only transferred to Nerv six months ago, but he greets me like we're old friends. "Please, take a seat."

I do, and the chair is that fake kind of comfortable you find in banks. Surface comfortable. Soft, but sitting for too long in any one position is impossible. Ng is pouring me some green tea.

"What would you like to talk about, sir?"

"You can drop the 'sir', Shinji. This isn't any sort of formal meeting; I just want to talk." Ng slides my tea towards me. The direction of the cup leads my gaze out Ng's window. Tokyo-3 sprawls out in every direction, its Evangelion standing on guard like giant, living gods. I wonder who's on patrol now? Maybe Kensuke. He used to be so quick to volunteer, but I think the charm's finally starting to wear off on him.

"I just don't know how you Japanese do it. Matcha is just so bitter." Ng is dropping sugar into his tea. "But then again, I suppose it's all just what you're used to. Ever been to America?"

"Only on assignment."

"Visit New York some time. I just love it. Next time you have leave, you should go do the tourist thing. Visit the underwater city and all that. It's really humbling, in a way. They were a superpower once, you know."

"Is this about Asuka leaving, sir?"

"I told you not to call me 'sir'." He's smiling, but his voice carries the unmistakable air of a command. After a pause, he puts down the spoon and picks up his tea. "But yes, this is about that. Her reassignment was unfortunate, but necessary. How are you feeling?"

Hollow.

"Fine."

He smiles again, knowing it's a lie. "I take the mental health of my pilots very seriously. If you need someone to talk to about this, don't hesitate to call in to my office. I'll clear my schedule immediately." I stare at his tea leaves. Their momentum has begun to slow, and they're sinking to the bottom of his glass, like a tank full of fish that have all given up on swimming. "Or if you'd prefer, I can refer you to someone. Just say the word, Shinji. Nothing gets better if you just ignore it."

I nod, thanking him.

After several moments of silence, Ng dismisses me. He speaks up again when I reach the elevator.

"I understand that Colonel Katsuragi's car was attacked on the way home?" he chuckles. "These protestors, they're really getting out of hand. Don't they know we're what's keeping them alive?"

The doors slide shut behind me and I know all those children are dead.

We were so happy when the Angels stopped coming. We were so happy and young and naïve to think that this meant anything good at all.

My father's plan was discovered and he was jailed. Seele was hunted down and destroyed. Nerv was gutted and its technology was sold. We became a private military corporation, carrying out police action for countries and businesses that would hire us. I thought a lot about leaving, but I didn't know where I would go. With no Angels to battle and incredible weaponry on our hands, there wasn't much to do besides squabble over what land remained above water. It's not about the land or country, anyway. If only it werestill about what flag was flying.

We used to fight to keep humanity safe. Now we fight the other private military corporations, when and where we're told, so people can work at plants making bullets and rebuilding hospitals we destroy and the world can keep turning. A wartime economy is a healthy economy and with PMC enrollments steadily rising, unemployment is at its lowest point since the Second Impact. Or so I'm told. I don't really know if that's true.

All I know is that I'm trapped fighting a war that doesn't matter and my last best friend just left for the other side of the world and I didn't even have the courage to tell her how much I need her to stay.

And for the first time in my life, I'm praying for Angels.

I put my hand on Rei's shoulder and I feel her warmth through the restraints. She meets my eyes and holds them for a moment longer than is necessary. I think I'm the only one that visits anymore, especially after we all found out what she actually is. Rei was never exactly popular for her personality.

I unpack a lunch for her and set it in between us on the floor. They've given her a table, but the chairs are so uncomfortable. After a while we both just started sitting on the floor.

I take the key and slowly unlock her arms. Rei wordlessly stretches her arms, and takes the chopsticks, sitting down to consume. I try to cook foods I know she likes, but I can never tell if she's just being polite.

"Do you think she's alright?" I ask, nervously. It feels cruel to mention worldwide travel to a prisoner, but I'm too preoccupied to talk about anything else. It's been four long, screaming, silent months.

"Sohryu is quite talented," Rei remarks, quietly. "I'm sure she's surviving."

She glances up from her food to ask, "Do you miss her?"

I nod, noncommittally. I miss her like hell.

With Asuka gone, there's no one left to talk to. I want to ask Rei more, but it's hard to come up with meaningful topics of conversation when you know you're being monitored. I'm sure Ng will be scrubbing this tape later, so I want to make sure I choose my words carefully, for her sake.

It's hard not to stare at her body. Needle marks snake down her arms where they've drawn tissue and injected nutrients. Her hair is long and shaggy, her muscles weak and small. I can still see the scars on her wrists from when they let her still live alone. She looks as if she would shatter with the slightest fall.

Christ Rei, what have they done to you?

Misato and I have been pushing for Ng to give her more exercise and time outside, but I don't know if he actually does it as regularly as he promises he does. She's not human to him. She's the last of a tank full of clones that's been gifted to science; she's a failed experiment to be sampled and studied. I guess that also makes him not that much different from my father.

I hear she doesn't even talk anymore unless I'm the one speaking to her.

I've been there. I've been to the edge of reason and I've been pulled back. Asuka and I have pulled each other back more times than I can count. Rei is human; it just makes people uncomfortable to think about it.

One time, when I was sure we were alone, I asked Rei if she ever thought about trying to escape from Nerv. After several moments' consideration, she swallowed some of the food in her mouth and she said, "That would be a lot of effort for life in a bigger cage."

Misato tells me for what might be the hundredth time that she doesn't know where Asuka is. The information is classified, and that no news is good news. KIAs aren't classified. There's a board in Control that would light up and tell us.

I ask her for a reassignment and I can see her mouth tighten. After looking over her shoulder, she pushes me into an empty room.

"Do you really even think that's an option?" She's whispering, but in the quiet, dark room it sounds like a scream. "Open your fucking eyes, Shinji. I've been doing the best I can to keep you three safe. You're his son. Do you want to end up like Rei?"

Her voice cracks, and I feel her arms wrap around my back. "I'm doing the best I can, I swear..." Hot tears press against my cheek. Her legs are giving out from under her, and I hold her up.

She clings to me like I'm a life raft. Her nails are digging into my back, through the cloth. "Would he be proud?" she whispers, "I don't know what to do, anymore. There aren't any answers. Would he be proud? Would he still love me?" I stroke her hair to calm her and I tell her what she wants to hear.

After several minutes, Misato picks herself up, wiping her face clean.

"I hate this as much as you do, but we've got to play along. You're practically full-grown. Next month I'm legally relieved of my guardianship. It's time to pick what's important to you and do anything to keep it safe."

She straightens her uniform and steps out of the room, leaving me alone with the darkness closing in from every direction.