A/N: It has been brought to my attention that a lot of my fics start the same way. John. John. John. John. John. Oh well. You'll survive. Enjoy.
"John. John. John."
A blissful pause.
"John."
"Sherlock! It may interest you to know that I am not living here to jump at your beck and call!" He glared at the newspaper and didn't even bother to look up at the string bean of a man hulking over him.
"John, the internet's out."
"Out?"
Sherlock growled a little. "Stopped working."
"Oh. Did you check to see the router hasn't come unplugged?"
"Of course."
"Did you try turning your computer off and back on again?"
"That's asinine."
John shrugged.
"John, the internet is out!"
"What do you expect me to do about it?" John demanded, finally putting aside his paper.
"I'm bored."
It was all John could do to contain his irritation. It seemed like whenever he sat down with the bloody newspaper, Sherlock had something to complain about. He didn't mind gallivanting around London with him, but sometimes their strange little domesticity had its moments of sheer annoyance. "Read a book, Sherlock. Or the paper."
"I am fully up-to-date on current events, thank you."
"You could tidy up."
To this, Sherlock didn't even deign to reply except in the form of a snort.
"Conduct an experiment. Go for a walk. Eat. Sleep. Change the faulty lightbulb in the washroom." John was on a roll. "Go do the shopping."
"When have I ever – What? The shopping?"
John was taken aback by Sherlock's sudden interest. He wasn't sure what to make of it. "Er, yes. The shopping. We're out of milk, and tea, and bread, and we could do with a few new teacups, since you've blown up most of the ones we had."
"Hm. Teacups, you say?"
Now John was having second thoughts. If Sherlock was considering doing the shopping, then there must be some ulterior motive. What sort of experiment was he planning to conduct on the cashier? "Yes…?" he replied, now clearly unsure of himself.
"Alright then." Sherlock donned his coat. "Milk, tea, bread, teacups." He wound his scarf round his neck and made for the door.
"Wait," John said, suddenly feeling very protective of the cashier at Tesco. "I'll come with you."
FIN