Adventures in Babysitting by Luvscharlie

Author's Notes/Warnings:Vague age disparity, dirty talk, infidelity, spanking, hair pulling, biting, striking, anal play, breath play, no plot, totally and completely filthy—and I think that covers it. And while we're at it, we'll go ahead and destroy a bit more of my childhood by using the name of a favourite childhood film. Depravity accomplished. My mother would be so proud. Originally written for prompt number 86. Infidelity fic. Lily babysits for Teddy and Victoire submitted by humbuggirl at the 2010 teddy_fest on Live Journal.


It's not that I don't enjoy looking after Teddy and Victoire's children. I do… mostly. I mean, changing dirty nappies is never fun, but on the grand scheme of things, there are Sickles in my pocket at night's end and the little buggers have an early bedtime. So, who am I to complain?

I keep telling myself all of this, since I am missing the biggest party of the year. No matter how many times I say it, I'm no happier about it. I want to kick my mother for volunteering me to babysit so that Teddy and Victoire could have a "much needed night away from the children". Oh sure, Lily would be so happy to keep the kids for you, dears! Would she now? Cause being Lily and all, I feel like I'm sort of the authority on the matter, and I'm thinking she kind of minds and she's not too happy about it. Nobody even bothered to check with me first. As if I even give a fuck that Teddy and Victoire need a night out. And when did a night out alone become an opening bash for Victoire's new art show at the gallery she runs downtown? Those are renowned for running late into the night, so I'm fairly certain I'll be stuck here sleeping on their lumpy sofa.

So, here I am. Stuck with the sprogs while others go out and enjoy themselves (if anyone could ever consider one of Victoire's stupid art shows to promote new talent "enjoyment"). I'm not bitter. Really. Can't you tell?


Three spilled glasses, two disgusting nappies and four near-fatal incidents later (Shut up! I'm fucking angry and allowed to be a drama queen if I want!), the ankle-biters were finally upstairs sleeping.

And the alcohol cabinet was unlocked… not even an attempt to keep me away from the Firewhisky—the naïve idiots.

I was just pouring my first glass…

"Mmm-hmm." Someone cleared their throat behind me and my freshly poured glass of Firewhisky emptied itself all over the carpet. I had to look twice to make sure that it was only the Firewhisky puddling on the floor, rather than my bladder.

"Fuck!" I shrieked, turning to see Teddy, arms crossed, grinning down at mortified me. "Do. Not. Do. That." Every word came out between gasping breaths and racing heartbeats.

Still sniggering, Teddy used his wand to clean up the mess I'd made… which was thankfully all booze. I was almost certain of that fact. Almost.

I wasn't done berating him. "You should not sneak up on people like that. It's—well, it's bad manners. That's what it is!"

"But not bad manners to steal from the alcohol cupboard?" he cocked a turquoise eyebrow in question.

"Well—" Damn him and his logic; I didn't have a come back for that. "Well, no that's not bad manners," I managed to get out the words, though they weren't convincing even to my own ears.

"Really? Why not?"

I was liking Teddy Lupin less and less by the second, which was rather a shame as he'd always been one of my favourite people growing up. "Because—well, because—because I said so. That's why."

"You're going to be an excellent parent someday with that kind of logic."

I didn't appreciate being mocked, so I spun around and stomped his toe, giving it a good grind into the floor.

He laughed.

I glared.

"Works better if you're wearing shoes," Teddy said nonchalantly, and I cursed my sock-clad piggies for betraying me. So much for having a dramatic flair if you couldn't do it all the way, so I stomped off (though rather more quietly than I'd have liked; where were those shoes anyway?) and flung myself down on the sofa.

I was surprised when Teddy nudged me over and handed me a glass part-way filled with amber liquid. "What's this?"

Teddy shrugged. "Peace offering, I reckon. If you won't tell, I won't. Besides, I don't know about you, but I could really do with some spirits."

It was only then that I thought to ask, "Where's Victoire?"

"Meh. I left her back at the gallery rubbing elbows with some big time arteest."

The way Teddy stretched out the word 'artist' and from the snarl that twisted his nose, it wasn't hard to conclude that there was trouble between the two of them. Not that I cared, nor would I do anything to make more trouble between them. Not I. Certainly not.

"What's it like being the woman in your relationship?" I asked, looking innocent.

"I would have expected some ridiculous comment like that from one of your thick-headed brothers."

Teddy wasn't easy to rile. I'd have to do better than that.

"So what's this artist that my cousin would rather spend time with than her husband like?"

"Shut up, Lily." Teddy glared at me over his glass.

Sore spot. I really should leave it alone and drink what he'd furnished me.

"I bet he's handsome and charming, with an artist's hands and an—"

"I said shut up!" Teddy was shouting, and Teddy rarely lost his temper. I might have been scared if I wasn't so intrigued… and aroused by his anger.

"You're going to wake the children," I said calmly. "Do try and get hold of yourself."

Teddy took another drink and continued glaring. Then he stood and began to pace the length of the living room area. I let it continue uninterrupted for several minutes, watching as emotions warred across his features. He'd stop and make me think he was going to start talking, only to commence his pacing once more.

"The carpet might appreciate it if you'd just sit down and tell me what's on your mind, Teddy."

"It's not something I care to discuss," Teddy said, grabbing the bottle of Firewhisky from its place on the counter and refilling his own glass and topping off mine even though I hadn't yet taken the first drink.

"Thank you," I said politely. I took my first drink and coughed a bit as the liquid scorched its way down my throat. I looked up to find Teddy smiling at me. "Don't laugh at me," I admonished. "This is just a bit stronger than I'm accustomed, that's all."

"Maybe pumpkin juice is more to your taste."

I'd show him. I wasn't a child and he wasn't going to treat me as if I were. I glared defiantly, tilted up my glass, and drained it all… then thought I was going to spew fire out my nostrils. Dear God, and bloody hell, and every curse word known to man rattled around inside my head and it was only through sheer self control that none of them came shooting out my mouth.

"Well, well, well," Teddy said, pouring me another glass, "look who's wearing her big girl knickers tonight."

The look of admiration with which Teddy gifted me made the pain of that last swallow almost worth it… almost. Who needed those taste buds anyway? They were a small sacrifice to be looked at in such a manner by someone so handsome and charming and... what was I saying again? It was getting warm in here. I could feel the sweat beading between my breasts. And when did the room start doing this spinning thing? I don't remember this spinning thing… but I kind of liked it. It felt like dancing, only I was standing still… I think.

"So how drunk are you?"

I was offended that he would think me such a lightweight. "I'm not drunk!" I protested. At least those were the words that I said in my mind. I don't think they came out quite that way though, judging from the resultant laughter from my cousin's husband.

Teddy came over to the sofa and took my hand, pulling me to my feet. This was no small feat considering how fast this room had begun to spin. I was impressed with his ability to stand so straight and tall amidst the circular motions.

"Why can't you get a house that stands still?" I asked.

Teddy only sniggered and before I knew what was happening, I was pulled close to his chest, my chin was being tilted up, and he was kissing me. And if the room was spinning before, it was nothing to the degree in which it was whirling now that Teddy's lips were on mine; his tongue was licking its way across, teeth nipping at my lower lip. I held onto him tightly, fisting his shirt in my hands and grasping at the buttons as his tongue found its way into my mouth. Jolts of electricity (or maybe the alcohol was just travelling quickly—either way I didn't much care, I liked the result) shot through me, warming all those secret places that longed to be touched.

With the alcohol fogging my brain, it was easy to pretend that Teddy wasn't my cousin's husband and I went willingly when he pushed me down on the sofa and climbed on top of me. I clawed at his shirt, desperate to touch skin, and finally gave up making my poorly coordinated fingers attempt to work the buttons free, and instead yanked his shirt from where it was tucked into his trousers and touched the warm skin of his lower back. All the time he was kissing my lips, my chin, my neck—scraping his teeth over my jaw and licking at my ear.

It was all happening so fast, too quick to contemplate whether it might be right or was definitely wrong, and with the added booze in my bloodstream it was easy to throw caution to the wind. All I knew was that I wanted him.

"Take it off," I whined, tugging at his shirt. He made short work of the material, unbuttoning it quickly and casting it aside, giving my fingers free reign to slide over his hard stomach muscles, around his navel and up to the tattooed sword on his chest, ending (or starting, if your view was such as mine—beneath him) just above his nipple.

And I might have been able to blame all of this on the Firewhisky if it didn't so closely resemble about a million dreams I'd had of me and Teddy Lupin entwined on a sofa or a bed or in the grass or against a wall… and the real thing was even better than those fantasies. His hot, sweaty skin pressed against me, his eyes half-lidded and looking at me with lust. It was all a million times better than even my wettest of wet dreams.

I was built nothing like his wife who was tall and slim and perfectly stick straight. Not me. I was shorter and more lush with big tits and curvy hips. When Teddy pushed my shirt and bra up to my neck, he seemed unable to stop staring at how large my tits were and how they bounced beneath him.

"Fuck," he hissed before latching onto one of my nipples and beginning to suck. And god, was he ever good at that! I tangled my hand in his messy colour-changing hair. One second it was red, and them moving on to orange and then a bright yellow that hurt my eyes. Within minutes I was squirming beneath him, bucking my hips in an attempt to gain his attention where I most wanted it, as he squeezed and rolled my nipples, alternating his tongue with his fingers and giving both mounds of flesh equal attention.

"I want you," I said, my voice husky from the scorching alcohol, and I smiled at how sexy I sounded—sultry even. I was a regular sex goddess. Yes, that was me.

Unfortunately, just when I was feeling my sexiest, Teddy seemed to regain at least a bit of his senses. He hesitated going farther and his hair was back to its normal blue-green shade—normal for Teddy, at least. "Is this the first time you've—"

"Fuck no," I said, kissing him hard and sliding my hand to the front of his trousers and working down the zip. Granted, it was the first time I'd fucked someone's husband, but I didn't feel the need to over-share with Teddy just right then.

I guess it was enough to resolve his conscience because his hands were rough when they shoved up my skirt and grabbed the inside of my thighs. Then, his fingers slid into the side of my knickers and his knuckle pressed down on my clit. "You're soaked," he said with a groan, and before I knew what was happening I was jerked off the sofa and pushed over the arm of it. My skirt was thrown up over my back and my knickers were tugged down my legs and kicked aside.

"Your arse," Teddy groaned. "I can't decide which I like more, your bum or your tits. They're both fucking amazing." His hand came down with a sharp smack on the right side of my arse. He bent over me, his warm chest to my back, and I could feel his cock pressing hard against my thigh, as he pulled my hair and forced my head back to him. "I want to pull you over my lap and spank you until you can't sit for a week on that gorgeous bum of yours."

I whimpered at the sound of his voice hissing in my ear and the thought of being over his knee, his hand coming down on my arse over and over again.

"Then, after I spanked you good and hard, I'd drop you to your knees on the carpet and watch my cock slide in and out of your bright red cheeks while you begged me for more."

And right then, I hated my cousin for having him as her own.

His hand grabbed the right cheek of my bum and I felt his tongue on my left, then his teeth followed his tongue, and he was biting me, marking my skin, and maybe it was the alcohol creating the voice in my head but all I could think was more, more, more. Don't let this ever stop.

Teddy stood behind me, and I heard the metal ting of his belt buckle as it hit the ground and the soft sound of the cloth as he stepped out of his trousers and pants. I felt the head of his cock brush against my entrance and I whimpered as he reached around me, grabbing at my tits. Then, he was pushing forward, driving into me, and his hands seemed to be everywhere at once—grabbing at my tits, digging his fingers into my hip, slapping at my bum, and finally sliding one hand around me to work my clit as he thrust in and out of my cunt.

I was getting close to orgasm when I felt him part the cheeks of my bum and slide his finger into my arse as he fucked me. He wasn't my first lover, but he was certainly my best, and none of the young boys I'd been with were nearly so adventurous. I hissed a loud, "Yes," as his finger kept time with his cock and he worked my clit with measured skill. My hands dug into the arm of the sofa as I came hard around him, begging him not to stop, to keep going, to fuck me hard and many other words that came out in a sort of litany of gibberish as I came down from my climax.

Teddy never slowed, still seeking his own release. His hand tangled in my hair and he forced my head back, then grasped my throat tightly. "Next time I fuck you, you'll know what it's like to have a big cock in that perfect bum. What do you have to say to that?" I couldn't say anything, no matter how much I wanted to agree that it sounded divine, wonderfully perverse, do it now—I was beginning to see black spots around the edge of my vision as Teddy's hold on my throat intensified.

I had no control over my own intake of air, and it felt—strange, yet amazing, and before Teddy had found his climax I was coming hard again, squeezing around him until he had no choice but to join me, unable to hold back his release any longer.

His hands grew loose around my throat, fingers stroking where they had only just been squeezing and Teddy collapsed against my back. I shook him off, gathering the bits of my clothes and stepping into the fireplace to Floo home even though I could hear Teddy saying my name in an attempt to get me to stay and talk to him. I didn't want the awkward after sex talk, and I certainly didn't want the 'this should have never happened' speech, so I went home and warded the fireplace against him. No need to mar an otherwise amazing evening with awkward syllables and guilty eyes.


As much as I wanted to avoid him—or at least my mind said I should avoid him, I couldn't stop thinking about the things Teddy had done to my body, so when an opportunity came up to babysit for Teddy and Victoire again, I volunteered… hopes held high for what might happen.

I arrived after Teddy had already gone and Victoire was running around in a last ditch effort to find a misplaced earring.

"Oh, Lily," she said, "thank you for coming on such short notice. Teddy got the children to sleep about ten minutes ago. You are zuch a life saver, ma cherie. What would we do without you?" She stretched out every word with a fake French accent (seriously, she grew up in England with the rest of us, what gives with that?). I wanted to kick her, but instead I helped her find her earring and watched her go, disappointed that Teddy wasn't here so that I could catch a glimpse of him.

Victoire Apparated away with a 'pop', and I settled myself on the sofa to sulk and pout. I wasn't sure what I'd expected when I got here, but this certainly wasn't it.

An hour later there was a pecking sound at the window, and I opened it up to find an owl with his leg stuck out so that I could remove the rolled parchment, before it flew away.
The parchment simply said, "There's a surprise for you in the second left kitchen cupboard." It was signed with a T.

I approached the cupboard brimming with excitement and opened it to find a large bottle of expensive Firewhisky and a firm wooden paddle that made my bum tingle just from looking at it, as well as another note. "Wait for me. I'll make it memorable."

And I was sure he would.