A/N: This is just an oneshot of James and Lily in their final year of Hogwarts. My thoughts on what would have happened. It came to me as I was listening to Sparks Fly by Taylor Swift – the line: 'get me with those green eyes baby' just screamed Lily and James. Let me know what you guys think! R&R please! Rating for profanity.
In honour of James' and Lily's deaths: October 31, 1981 – 29 years ago, today.
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, nor will I ever. It belongs to the brilliant J.K Rowling.
Inceptum
It's been a month since school's started and, yet, it doesn't feel like Hogwarts for Miss Lily Evans. Yes, she was made Head Girl and yes, she achieved top results on her exams, yet something was missing…that something being James Potter, more specifically, something was off with James Potter.
She couldn't explain it, but he was just different. He never sought her out; he never yelled for her across the hall; he never called her those irksome names; he never tried to get her attention. Most of all, he had been extremely subdue, low key, since the beginning of the year. He even helped Severus pick up his fallen books. It boggled her mind.
Where was the James Potter she had known for the past six years? Evidently, long gone. And believe it or not, she was slightly bothered by it. Lily had grown accustomed to Potter's annoying habits, to his obsession of her. Now, she didn't know what to do.
First and foremost, James Potter was made Head Boy. When Lily discovered that this summer, she was furious; he would make one big joke of the position and get his friends out of trouble every day. However, so far, he's handed out detentions to those who deserved it (even Gryffindors) and has been nothing but responsible. He hadn't played one practical joke since the beginning of term and his group of friends had been less…irritating than previous years.
The big question: Did something happen? And if so, what?
The mystery behind Potter was driving Lily insane. She would never admit it aloud, but she missed Potter's attention. He was a constant in her life, while everything else deteriorated: her relationship with Petunia, her friendship with Severus, school was getting harder and everything was changing. Now, Potter. She was actually counting on him pestering her this year.
He even looked different. He looked…more mature, wiser, like a real man. He still had that untidy hair, and his hazel eyes were still behind spectacles, but she personally thought this added to his look. His jaw was chiselled, he was much more lean and defined and he carried himself in a more sophisticated manner…he looked…extremely handsome.
It's not as though all these changes were bad per say, but he altogether avoided her now. He didn't say anything to her unless it involved Head duties. She missed their bickering; she even missed his and his friends' antics.
"Oomf," Lily let out as she collided into something solid.
She had been so preoccupied with her Potter thoughts that she forgot about her patrol duties. As a result, she landed on her behind.
"Sorry –" Lily began.
" – I'm sorry," a deep voice said simultaneously.
Lily looked up into the eyes of the subject of her thoughts: James Potter.
"I apologize, Evans, lost in my mind, clearly," James said lending a hand to help her up.
Lily tensed when he said her name. It was usually filled with warmth, now it just sounded indifferent.
"It's quite alright, James. It seems to be a common occurrence."
Lily accepted his hand and smiled, trying to make light of the situation. James looked surprised at the sound of his first name and smiled back, however, it didn't quite reach his eyes.
"Are you heading back to the Common room?" James asked as they stood in front of one another.
Lily noticed he was being distant. She was determined to break that.
She realized that it was getting late and that she really should be getting back, "Yes, I am. Are you?"
"Just heading there now. I'll walk with you. Can't have a lady roaming the castle alone at night," he said winking at her.
Usually this irritated Lily, but today, she was warmed by it.
"No, no we wouldn't," she smiled up at him. This time, his returning smile lit up his whole face.
"So why were you out of it?" James asked casually, hands in his pockets, shirt un-tucked, tie askew.
Lily was too busy profiling him that she didn't register his question. She couldn't get over the fact that James Potter looked good. Why have I never bothered to notice this before? Well that's easy Lily, you were too busy running away from him.
"Lily?"
Hearing her first name snapped her out of her daze. Her name on his lips sent shivers down her spine.
"Sorry?"
"I asked why you were so consumed in your thoughts, but you were too busy staring," James replied with a raised eyebrow.
Lily blushed at this and responded quickly, "Oh, nothing, just school work."
Now, both his eyebrows were beneath his fringe, "We've only been back for one month. It's not school work."
Now Lily was irritated, how the hell would he know, "And, pray tell, how do you figure that one?"
James stopped, causing Lily to turn back and glare at him with her arms crossed in front of her chest.
"Because whenever you stress over school work you get this furrow between your brows and you bite your lip. But, this time you were fingering your hair and not paying attention to where you were going – you always pay attention."
James was looking at the ground at this point.
Lily was baffled, how did he know all of that. She didn't even know that.
"How do you –"
"I've been watching your every move for six years. I just know. And yes, that sounds creepy, but I assure you it was in a completely non-creepy way," James interrupted trying to lighten up the tense atmosphere.
"Oh, erm, well, you're right, it isn't school work. It's just a…personal…issue," Lily finished lamely, "Why were you dazed, then?"
"A personal issue? Alright, I won't press. And to answer your question, mine too was a personal issue," he drawled, his eyes dancing.
Lily rolled her eyes and giggled. James's face broke out into a wide smile.
"What?" Lily asked suddenly self-conscious.
"Nothing, it's just, I've never heard you giggle before. I like it."
Lily flushed at this and looked down, "Yes, well I've never had reason to giggle in front of you before."
James stared at her, "No, I suppose you haven't. I'll have to do that more often."
"What?"
"Make you laugh."
It was quiet for a moment as they continued walking.
Lily broke the silence, "Can I ask you a question?"
"You just did, Lily," James responded with a raised eyebrow and a smirk planted on his face.
Lily rolled her eyes and rectified her question, "Will you answer my question truthfully?"
"It depends what the question is."
"Fair enough."
"Alright, shoot."
"Why haven't you…well why haven't you, erm, chased after me this year?" Lily asked, once again blushing. She just noticed how conceited that sounded.
James let out a bark of laughter.
"I didn't realize you wanted me to, Evans."
Lily smiled shyly, "I don't, I was just wondering why the change, Potter."
James genuinely smiled at this. It was nice having a real conversation with the girl he's been in love with for six years.
"I had an epiphany at the end of last year."
"Oh?"
James stopped walking at this point and his face turned serious. His fists were clenched at his sides and he was looking to the left of Lily, at a point on the wall behind her.
"Yes, I came to the conclusion that I was only driving you away with my…obsession. I realized that you'll never feel that way about me and that I should just let you live your life. Then something happened this summer and I realized that…well I should just stop bothering you and making your life miserable."
Lily was flabbergasted. He never made her life miserable! Sure, she might have said some slightly harsh things to him…okay, she was a bitch to him. Lily was having her own epiphany at the moment…she didn't want James Potter to leave her alone.
She was so shocked that she blurted out, "You never made my life miserable!"
James' eyebrows shot up, "I didn't? I thought you hated me."
Lily looked at her shoes, "I've never hated you. I just didn't like some of the things you did, but you've grown up a lot and I've just realized that."
"Yes, well, situations give rise to maturity."
Lily looked up at this. What an odd statement. "What kinds of situations?"
They continued walking and James looked down at her from the corner of his eye. She was looking straight ahead with her long fiery hair flowing behind her.
"You're just a bundle of questions today, aren't you?"
Lily smiled at this, he's avoiding the question. "Yes I am. It's not every day I get the James Potter to myself, is it?"
James let out a loud laugh.
Lily looked at him with a smile on her face. I like his laugh. It's so…warm and inviting. I haven't seen him laugh in a while.
"I suppose not. I am too popular for my own good," he winked at her, "I thought you'd be running for the hills at this point."
Lily laughed at this, "You would think, wouldn't you? But alas, I'm actually having a good time with you, Potter. Who would have thought?"
They were coming close to Gryffindor tower, and James found he didn't want to go to bed yet. He wanted more time with Lily. It was the first time in a few months he's laughed freely.
James grabbed Lily's hand and he felt sparks shoot up his arm.
Simultaneously, Lily felt those sparks too. She looked at him questioningly.
"Let's go to the Astronomy Tower. It's a clear night and I really don't want to go to bed yet."
Lily shivered at the thought. But it wasn't a bad thing…Definitely not a bad thing.
"Why?"
"Because believe it or not, Evans, this is the first time in a while that I'm having a good time."
She smiled at him and nodded her acceptance. He felt his chest constrict at her smile. It was beautiful. He couldn't get enough. He led her up to the Astronomy tower, all the while holding her hand.
Once at the top of the tower, Lily immediately headed over to the ledge and looked up at the sky. She closed her eyes and just let herself be consumed by the night atmosphere.
James watched her as he leant against the door frame. She's beautiful and just amazing. His heart ached at how much he loved her. That fire red hair shining in the moonlight and those emerald green eyes that could look straight into your soul. But her personality, that's what drew him in. She was unerringly brilliant and sweet and helpful and he just found out that she was the one person who could make him forget about all the shit he's been going through.
He slowly walked beside her. He put his hands on the ledge, his right hand a hair away from her left. He watched her watch the stars. I can't live without her in my life.
Lily suddenly turned towards him with a twinkle in her eyes. It made them look a deeper green than usual. It took his breath away for a moment.
"So why did you want to come up here?"
James smirked and looked up, "I truly wanted to keep talking with you. It was…nice," he finished lamely.
Lily laughed at this, "Yes it was nice."
She then turned around and slid to the ground, now leaning against the ledge. She stretched her slim legs in front of her and crossed them at her ankles. She looked up at James and patted the spot beside her. James obliged happily.
James rested his elbow on the knee that was up while his other leg was stretched out in front of him, brushing against Lily's leg. They both felt a tingle.
"James, what did you mean by situations causing maturity?"
She decided to dive right in it.
James was caught off guard. He didn't want to talk about this. He couldn't talk about this. It was too much. But it was Lily. What do I say?
He turned to look at her, with the intention of lying, but found himself staring into those emerald eyes and couldn't look away.
Lily was looking at him and he seemed truly upset about something. His lips were thin and his eyes had an anguished look. She wanted to take it away. It didn't belong on his face. She grabbed his hand and held it between her two hands.
This woke James up. He looked down at their entwined hands and then back up at her angelic face. He could tell her.
"James? You don't have to tell me anything. I'm the last person you would want –"
"No, I do. I want to tell you. It's just, no one else knows; except for Sirius, Remus and Peter, of course. But, it's hard for me to talk about. It was definitely the last thing I'd ever expect to…happen," he choked a bit on the last word.
Lily didn't know what to do. What happened? Why to him? He looks so lost. She felt her heart breaking for him. He didn't deserve whatever it was. She rubbed his hand.
"You don't have to say anything if you don't want to. I'm going to sit with you, though, and I'm going to hold your hand because that's what I would want if I was upset."
James looked at her and decided to tell her everything. She was all he had now. She wasn't even his, but she made his world brighter.
He turned his head and looked forward.
"Sirius and I were home with my parents one night, 3 weeks after school finished. We had just eaten supper and were sitting on the floor in front of the wireless listening to Quidditch highlights; mum and dad were on the sofa. We were all laughing and just having a good time.
"Sirius and I went upstairs to brush our teeth and, then, I don't know what happened. All of a sudden everything went pitch black. I can still hear my mum screaming all of our names. The lights came back on and both my parents were at wand point. The two of us were frozen at the top of the stairs. We couldn't move. I needed to get to them before something happened, but I couldn't fucking move!"
He stopped and took a few breaths to calm down.
"My parents could see us on the stairs, but their eyes told me this was it. They knew what was going to happen. They both mouthed 'I love you' and then there was a flash of green light and they were on the ground. The man disapparated and we could move again. He killed them. He killed my parents and made us watch! They didn't deserve to die! They were the most loving, most caring human beings!"
Lily had tears streaming down her face, but didn't want to say anything. He needed to get it all out.
"I didn't know what to do. They looked so empty. They felt cold. I couldn't believe they…they were gone…Dumbledore showed up at the house not too long after. I have no idea how he knew what happened…He saw the dark mark and alerted the aurors immediately. It was kept quiet, only Ministry personnel, that's why no one at school knows. I only realized after…that voice…I've heard it once before…it was Voldemort; he was in my house. He was so close, I could have killed him. Instead he killed…my parents.
"I'm so glad that Sirius was with me. They were as much his parents as mine. He's truly my brother; I wouldn't have been able to get through this without him," He looked at their hands once again.
"I keep asking myself: Why them? What did they do to deserve that? They were good people. They weren't young, but they were happy. They were fair to everyone; never held anything against anyone. When they found out I was…pursuing….you they were ecstatic. I don't know if you remember…but you met them last September."
Lily did remember, and she fell in love with them on the spot. They were so warm and kind, she couldn't believe James was their son at the time.
"Why? Why them? It's not fair. It's all my fault! It's my fault they're dead. I hate Voldemort. I hate him so fucking much! I never knew what I wanted to do once I was out of Hogwarts, but I know I have to become an auror. I need to avenge my parents. I need to bring Voldemort down.
"It's so bloody unfair! I miss them so much, Lily, I just can't…I can't…"
His shoulders were shaking and tears were leaking out of his eyes. Lily couldn't contain the sob that escaped her. She did the one thing she could: she held him.
She brought his head down to her lap and stroked his hair. She rubbed his arm and tried to soothe him.
"It's not your fault, James. Voldemort's a sadistic bastard. There's no reason for what he does. He will be stopped and I know you'll be the reason he is. But, it's not your fault. You need to move forward now. You need to live the life your parents gave you. Don't waste it. It's not your fault. You are a good person. It's not your fault."
His breathing slowed down and he knew she was right. It felt so right to be there with her; to share this with her. He knew he did the right thing. She didn't try to 'understand' what he was going through. She only offered her comfort which is what he needed. She was what he needed. He closed his eyes and let himself feel her hand through his hair and on his arm.
Lily noticed that he fell asleep. She just sat there with his head in her lap. He didn't deserve this. They didn't deserve this. She didn't know what to do. It seemed her being with him helped him. He just needs a friend right now. I'll be that someone. She realized she felt a lot more for James than she was willing to admit. I think…I don't know what to think. I just need to be there for him.
Lily suddenly woke up; she must have dozed off. His head was still in her lap. Her head was resting on James' stomach. It was a slightly awkward position, but still comfortable. She saw the sun coming up on the horizon. The sky was tinged with pink. She looked at her watch and saw that it was already six in the morning. They had been at the tower for over seven hours. They needed to get back to Gryffindor tower before anyone realized they were missing. She could only imagine what McGonagall would do if she found that they were out the whole night.
She gently shook James; he stirred slightly, but was still asleep. She moved his hair away from his eyes. He looked so peaceful. She wished that she could let him sleep, but they needed to get up.
"James, James wake up," she whispered in his ear.
His eyes slowly opened. He realized where he was and shot up. He had a red tinge in his cheeks. Lily was amused by this, but she was also blushing.
"Sorry about that. I didn't mean…I shouldn't have unloaded on you like that, and then falling asleep on you," James rattled quickly.
"James, it's okay. I was more than happy to listen. You needed to do it. I'm glad I was the one you unloaded unto. And, erm, don't worry about that, I fell asleep as well," she responded shyly.
James gave her a wide smile and stood up. He offered his hand to her and pulled her up. They walked to Gryffindor tower. The halls were silent. The portraits were still asleep. It was just them. Silence surrounded them, but it was a comfortable silence.
James hadn't felt like this with anyone. He felt he could tell Lily anything. He was in love with her, that was established long ago. But now, there was even more to it. He wasn't just in love with her anymore. He needed her. She was his other half. She was the key to his survival. She was his soul mate; he had found his soul mate. Now he just needed to keep her in his life, whether it be as a friend or something more. He needed her.
Walking with Lily in the quiet, it just felt right. There was no other word to describe it. It just felt natural.
Lily was in another world. She felt light and airy. She knew it was due to the boy…man next to her. He made her feel butterflies in her stomach when he smiled. He sent tingles all over her body when he so much as brushed against her hand. He sent shivers down her spine by looking at her. This all happened over one night with him and all they did was talk.
That was a lie…it wasn't one night. It was a long time coming. Except now, she was willing to accept that she was falling for James Potter and hopefully he hadn't given up on her just yet. She wanted to help him; she wanted to be there for him. She wanted to be with him. She decided to let it take her wherever it would go because she knew, she just knew, she could trust him.
They were both so caught up in their thoughts of one another that they realized they were in front of the Fat Lady.
"I didn't see the two of you leaving this morning."
"No you didn't," James responded with a wink.
The Fat Lady blushed. He could even make the portraits swoon.
"Erm, password?"
Lily laughed quietly bringing a smile to James' face.
"Inceptum," Lily said.
The portrait swung open and James gestured for Lily to go in before him. She nodded her thanks.
They were at the staircase.
"Well, I'll see you in an hour or so," Lily said smiling. She turned to go.
James grabbed her elbow and pulled her in for a hug. She fit perfectly in his embrace. It was as if she were meant to be there. He breathed in her scent – it was a mixture of soap and surprisingly lilies. It was heavenly.
Lily was surprised when he hugged her. It felt perfect. She felt safe, warm, and unbelievably perfect at that moment. He smelled so good. That musky scent mixed with fresh laundry. She felt him pull back a little, but his arms were still around her waist. He brought them up to cup her shoulders.
"You have no idea what this night meant to me, Lily. Just, thank you so much for being there. I really needed that," he said looking straight into her eyes.
"You don't need to thank me. I'm glad I was there. It was good for both of us. I…it meant a lot to me too," she finished looking at his chest; she couldn't look at his face. It would completely undo her.
She had never felt like this before. It happened so fast. But really, it didn't. There was just no explanation.
"Lily, thank you. I hope we do this again some time."
"You mean me colliding into you late at night only for the course of our evenings to change? Yeah, me too," she said smiling up at him.
James laughed at this. She knows how to make me laugh like no other.
His hands were once again resting on her hips. He looked into her eyes and smiled.
"Good morning, Evans."
Lily's breath caught in her throat. The look he was giving her good make girls turn to mush. She decided to be bold.
She stood on her tip toes and closed her eyes. She could feel him tense up.
He didn't know what she was going to do, but her being this close to him was making him lose self-control. He closed his eyes in an attempt to calm himself.
She kissed him on the cheek softly and whispered, "Good morning, Potter," into his ear.
He shivered. The place where her lips touched his cheek burned. No other girl could affect him like Lily Evans. He opened his eyes to find her looking up at him.
His face broke out into a wide smile. She returned it and then walked up the stairs. She turned around to find him staring at her with that goofy smile on his face. She laughed quietly and then went into her dorm.
Once in her bed, she thought of James' reaction to her bold move and smiled. Then she thought of how it felt to be in his arms – amazing. She imagined what would happen if they were to actually kiss. She got tingly just from the thought. She couldn't stop smiling. It was one of the best nights – emotional and eye opening. She knew, James needed her and she…she needed James. She couldn't wait for what was to come. She'd embrace it with open arms if it meant having James Potter permanently in her life.
Back in the Common room.
Unbeknownst to both of them, there was another marauder in the room hiding under James' invisibility cloak, waiting for his friend to return.
Sirius watched the whole scene unravel before him. He was so happy for James; he was finally getting what he deserved: Lily. Sirius knew they were meant for each other for a long time. It was only a matter of them being ready for one another. Now they were ready and they were going to be like those muggle fireworks: bright, beautiful and magical.
James, still oblivious to Sirius' presence, stood at the bottom of the stairs for a full five minutes before finally going up to his own bed. He thought he heard the door open behind him, but he was too preoccupied to notice anything. As he lay down in an attempt to pretend to be sleeping, he replayed that moment in his mind over and over again.
That had to be the most sensual kiss he'd ever experienced. Which was weird seeing as it was only a kiss on the cheek. But it wasn't only a kiss on the cheek, it was so much more. There was so much behind it. He knew right then, whatever it was between him and Lily Evans, it was forever and he couldn't be happier.
A/N: Inceptum means 'beginning' in Latin. I thought it was apt for this oneshot seeing it was the beginning of Lily and James' whirlwind romance (according to me).
Also I know J.K Rowling has stated that The Potter's died a 'natural' death, but I thought this would have been a good way for James to mature and be able to develop a true relationship with Lily.
It's more than horrible to lose a parent, let alone two, and I, fortunately, can say that has never happened to me. I do, however, have a good friend who has lost a parent and I can't imagine what she must have been going through. So anyone who has lost a parent, or someone they love – this story is for you and I hope you are able to get everything you deserve plus more in the years to come.
