And now finally completed... our story Wake Up and Smell the Lemons.
Disclaimer: We do not own Maximum Ride, and the first large italicized bit belongs to Supergirrl from her story In All Your Fantasies (which has a really awesome ending we didn't include here.) We seriously suggest you check it out and leave a big fat review. We do not own Jeb's... outfit. JP does. ;)
We DO own the Gazzy pairing later on. I'm POSITIVE.
Anyways, Elle was hit with writers block concerning this fic, and suggested we post some of it before we finish. So here it is!
Please review, concrit and flames are much appreciated!
-Elle and Fee
"Oh, that feels simply exquisite. Can you do my left foot, Sam?"
The incredibly attractive, shirtless male at Max's feet nodded, let go of her right foot, and went to work massaging the left.
She leaned back onto her comfortable lounge chair, enjoying the massage. "Can I have my chocolate-chip cookies, please, Iggy?"
Max laid her head back onto the soft pillow, opening her mouth so he could hand-feed her some of the best cookies on Earth. She watched the also shirtless, extremely buff guy place one cookie at a time in her mouth, letting her chew the fresh-from-the-oven treats before giving her another.
After her cookie-cravings had been satisfied, she clapped her hands once, saying, "I need some affection, boys."
Max watched the resulting scuffle with mild interest as the three guys punched and kicked each other in an attempt to reach her first. Finally, the shirtless Fang broke free of the fight and kissed her. Ignoring the disappointed sighs of the other two guys, she kissed him rather happily for a moment, tangling her fingers in his thick black hair. When she pulled away, Max asked, "How's progress on my project?"
"Well, Lissa was attacked by Erasers, a swarm of locusts, sucked into quicksand, mauled by a bear, fell off a waterfall, and was chased by an extremely persistent goose."
She looked up at him, disappointed. "That's all?"
He shrugged. "It was a slow day. Tomorrow, it's Lissa in the Temple of Doom, so it should be a bit more interesting."
Max lie there for a few minutes, mentally comparing the naked chests of the three males before her, trying to figure out which one she wanted right now. It was a close contest. "I need one of you to carry me to bed."
"I will!"
"No, it's my turn!"
"You're both lying, it's my turn!"
She sighed, pushing a lock of hair out of her face. "Don't fight, you'll just have to take turns. Sam, it's your job tonight."
Giving the other two a gloating look, he hurried to her side, and effortlessly picked her up, bridal-style. Max closed her eyes and allowed herself to be carried to her bedroom, which was huge, with a high ceiling and a four-poster canopy bed. He gently deposited her on the bed, and she noticed that both of the other guys had followed them, and were standing there, looking like they wanted to tear Sam's guts out.
She crawled beneath the soft, pre-heated covers. She was well-fed, content, and comfortable, but there was still something missing…..
"This bed is too big and lonely. Sam and Fang, strip. You, pyro, get in this bed right now. I want to snuggle."
As the three males scurried to obey her, Max smiled. Life was good.
-Don't mind me, I'm just a line break!-
Max woke up that morning a little upset. She had quite enjoyed that dream. Sitting up, she saw Angel was already awake.
"That was a really strange dream you had last night."
Max stared at Angel, then picked up a piece of flaming wood and began to advance on the 6-year-old girl only for her to start shouting.
At that moment, everyone jumped awake and Maxscreamed in frustration. The dream had let out all of her adolescent hormones, fulfilling her greatest fantasies, but to find they weren't satisfied at all...
Suddenly, she turned on Fang, an evil smile forming. Seemingly out of nowhere, she jumped him, sending him to the ground with her on top. Smile still forming, she tried to make her dream come true.
But Fang resisted, and before anyone could say anything, a resounding crash echoed through the clearing. In a sudden flash, a girl appeared, pushed Max off Fang, and said, "Fang is mine, fiend!"
It was...
Ella! –cue scary music-
Max growled, pushing Ella to the ground. "MY HORMONES ARE STRONGER THAN YOURS!" she screamed.
"Ladies," Fang cut in coolly, "there's plenty of Mr. Dark, Sexy, and Mysterious to go around."
"We agreed at Mom's! You get Iggy!" Max yelled at Ella.
"Wait, who gets me?! What's going on?!" Iggy asked, confused.
-Don't mind me, I'm just a line break!-
After an amazing fight scene with all the slow-mo bits…
"FINE!!!" Ella yelled, releasing her hold on Max's ear. "Since I'm such an amazing, spaztaztic person, you can have Fang. Come, Iggy." Ella said seductively as she began furiously kissing him "Let's let out our ya-yas."
Max jumped up in the air. "Yes!" she shouted. She then proceeded to drag Fang into a cave, laughing maniacally the entire way.
-Don't mind me, I'm just a line break!-
A few moments later…
"... What was that?" Nudge asked, breaking the silence.
"They sound like they're in pain," Gazzy said.
"Why are they screaming at each other?" Total asked.
Angel just stood there, eyes wide and twitching.
"You don't want to know..." she said quietly.
"Come, Iggy," Ella said, "let's –censored-"
"YES!" Iggy said, dragging Ella to... somewhere...
"Iggy, do you know where you're going?" Ella asked him. He started to frown, and he replied...
"No..." he said, "but I know what I'm about to do..."
"What?" Ella asked as she sexually harassed him.
"I understand that we both have some raging hormones and ya-yas we need to release" he said, sexually harassing her right back, "So we're going to-"
But he was cut of by a very angry looking Gasman,
"We were going to make bombs!"
-Don't mind me, I'm just a line break!-
Meanwhile, back where everyone else was (wherever THAT is)…
"I really think we should see if they're hurt," Nudge said.
"No, they seem fine. The shouting stopped, so they must have stopped fighting," Total answered. Angel kept twitching.
"What if they killed each other?" Nudge asked, worried.
"No, they're... fine." Angel said, twitching less than before.
"Fang!" they heard from the nearby cave, along with the sounds of rustling bush branches.
The thoughts of the Flock leaders finally being too much, Angel ran as far as she could from the cave, to Iggy and Ella only to find Gazzy out cold and footprints leading away, deeper into the forest…
Angel stood there and stared for a moment before fainting and hitting the ground hard. Nudge heard Angel fall and ran towards the clearing, seeing the two youngest members of the Flock collapsed on the ground.
"Oh no," Nudge whispered, she heard a distinct moaning and gasping coming from the forest and her eyes went wide. Something had Iggy and Ella!
Little did she know that there were only two very hormonal teenagers through those trees, letting out their 'ya-yas'.
"Total," she started shouting, "I know why there was yelling coming from the cave!"
"What, really?" Total asked, after running to answer Nudge's call.
"Erasers!" she said, "They must be back! We have to go help them!"
Together they ran towards the cave, only to find… a closed door.
"What do you think the Erasers are doing to them in there?" Nudge whispered.
"I don't know. Let's find out." Total answered.
Nudge reached out for the handle and jumped back. "We should get back up
before we go in there alone."
"How? Everyone else is being attacked by Erasers or out cold!" Total said.
Nudge turned to him, grinning wildly, and said, "The hawks!"
-Don't mind me, I'm just a line break!-
Meanwhile, through the door...
"Fang, do you hear something?" Max asked, pausing from their 'activities'.
"All I hear is the sweet sound of our heavy breathing, for it is all I want to hear for the rest of eternity. All I feel is your warm body against mine, the only thing I will ever want to feel again. Let the world crumble outside these stone walls, as long as you are here with me in this cave, I will remain content."
Max squealed and they resumed their 'activities', completely unaware of a giant flock of hawks making their way towards the cave, led by a very determined eleven year old girl and a talking dog.
-Don't mind me, I'm just a line break!-
Meanwhile, somewhere deep in the middle of the forest, something was heading toward Ella and Iggy at impossible speeds... Omega.
After a matter of seconds, he reached the two hormonal teenagers and unconscious children. He looked through the rustling, seemingly moaning bushes and saw... something he couldn't quite understand.
It took him a moment to realize that the two creatures were mating. He had been taken aback by the sounds and actions coming from the two creatures at first, but as he watched more, he could see the strong bond between the two, the strongest he had ever seen. They were obviously soul mates. He was surprised by this new found information; he was feeling emotion. And for some reason, he was understanding love. Though his mind and heart told him that it was the beauty of the circle of life and true love, his body felt... peculiar. He found himself stepping out from behind the bushes and into the clearing.
The two people noticed him and jumped back in surprise (a very hard thing to do in their current position). Omega, who should have felt bashful in such a situation due to his new acquired feelings, merely cleared his throat and said;
"Can I join in?"
The girl's face turned beet red and they both looked very flustered. "Excuse me?" she asked.
"I was wondering if I could... well, never mind." He said as he began to turn away.
"Well hold on a minute," she said, hating the dejected sound of his voice, feeling a pang of sympathy and regret for the retreating figure.
He turned back around, hope in his Bambi/Flower/Thumper eyes. Ella looked at him, analyzing his muscled physique.
Ella sighed, "Well, I don't see a problem with it." she said, turning to the incredibly sexy male beside her. "Iggy?"
"Fine with me." He responded.
"Well, alright Wonderboy," Ella said, sighing again, "You're on top."
And so they resumed their activities, the two lovers doing what they did best- loving each other (in more than one way ;) and their new 'beneficial' friend, letting out his long pent up ya-yas.
All was well for now in the forest, but elsewhere, everything was not.
-Don't mind me, I'm just a line break!-
Back at the cave...
Nudge, Total, and the hawks had arrived.
"Okay. Let's do this," Nudge said, reaching for the handle. However, when Nudge tried to open it, it was locked.
"What do we do now?" Total asked.
"I wish Iggy were here." She muttered as she sized up the door. "Alright," she said strongly, "back up."
As Total and the hawks obeyed, Nudge lifted up her leg and kicked hard.
The door fell down with a loud bang.
As the dust cleared away, Nudge screamed in horror, staring at the two stark naked Flock leaders on the cave floor.
"Well, crap." Max said, looking up at the speechless Fang, "the walls really did crumble around us, didn't they?"
Nudge had by then fainted, and Total long before her. The hawks were curiously inspecting the entangled couple.
-Don't mind me, I'm just a line break!-
But as Max and Fang resumed their activities, Gazzy began to stir...
He woke up in the middle of a clearing. The last thing he could remember was Iggy hitting him over the head. Speaking of which, it was probably bruised. He looked around and saw Angel. He immediately ran over to her and slapped her.
"Wake Up!" he screamed, slapping her again, "Wake Up!"
In the bushes, Ella heard him shouting and sighed. "I guess Gazzy's awake, then."
Both Iggy and Omega rose from their positions, Iggy climbing into a pair of jeans and Ella doing similar. As Iggy and Ella quickly dressed themselves, Omega just stood there, murder in his once enthusiastic eyes.
Ella looked at him curiously while Iggy searched for his socks.
"What are you doing?" Ella asked, throwing Omega his pants. "Get dressed!"
Omega just turned to look at her, shaking with frustration and suppressed ya-yas. "I… did not… want… to... stop." He growled, pulling Ella closer and ridding her of her clothes.
"I like a man who takes control," said Ella, swooning into him. Iggy, hearing this exchange quickly ran to Ella's side, ripping her from Omega's embrace and removing his clothes in the process. Ella giggled and resumed her previous activities.
Omega stared at the couple, his eyes softening at aura of luuuuv surrounding them. A sharp scream from outside the forest reminded him of why he had been angry, and his icy blue eyes saw red.
"I'll be back." said Omega, throwing on his mud-covered pants and walking out into the clearing. There were two annoying little bugs he needed to squash.
Behind the bushes where Iggy and Ella were re-releasing their ya-yas stood Gazzy and Angel. Once Gazzy had woken Angel up, she screamed, and he was at a loss as to why. She just kept shaking and pointing through the bushes, wide-eyed.
All of a sudden, a figure appeared. He was wearing muddy pants, while leaving his well-toned chest exposed. He was the most beautiful thing Gazzy had ever seen.
The half-naked boy stopped a few paces in front of Gazzy, and the obvious rage in his eyes turned into something else...
-Don't mind me, I'm just a line break!-
Omega was speechless. The glorious creature standing in front of him was nothing short of radiant. What he had felt watching Iggy and Ella was nothing compared to what he felt now. He was filled with such emotion he thought he might spontaneously combust. Looking at the body of the young boy before him, his hormones were going crazy. And it wasn't long until he was going to lose control.
Within seconds, the two males were all over each other, kissing passionately and bruisingly while their hands were everywhere at once. Watching them was a stunned and horrified Angel, who was soon running through the woods away from them, shrieking. Her little mind couldn't hold that many disturbing images at once, and her sanity was at risk.
-Don't mind me, I'm just a line break!-
After almost half an hour of steady sprinting, Angel stopped and sat against a tree in the fetal position, believing that she was safe for the time being. Though suddenly, a voice came from behind her.
"Why, hello sweetie..." the voice sounded like a grown man's. It sent shivers up her spine. She turned around and saw...
Jeb.
She gazed up, torn between his friendly voice and his past betrayal. Was Jeb a friend or foe?
"I've got a little boy who wants to meet you..." he continued.
It was then she could read his mind, and his thoughts tumbled out of him in an excited rush. A sudden scream tore from her lips as she ran with all her strength until she came to a cliff edge, where she unfurled her wings and flew as fast as she could. After her wings got tired, she found a small canyon and flew into a cave on one side of the rock. She fell down in a heap, taking large breaths while curling up as tight as she could. She tried to block the image of him out of her mind, from his RELAX hat to his pale orange shirt. And his thoughts, those terrible, terrible thoughts…
"You can't escape from me..."
But it was then Dr. Martinez showed up.
"Get away from my man, child whore!" she shrieked, slapping Angel across her face, which was unfortunately still sore from Gazzy's little episode.
Dr. Martinez grabbed Jeb by his belt and began undressing him as quickly as she could. Angel, still in shock from Max and Ella's mother's sudden appearance stood as still as she could, unable scream, her cheek was now too swollen to make a sound, let alone breathe properly.
"STOP!" Jeb yelled suddenly, freeing himself from his ex-colleague's embrace. Dr. Martinez looked at him in confusion. "I'm not into woman." He said, wrapping an arm around Angel. "I like little girls."
Dr. Martinez's expression turned from one of confusion to one of rage.
"This is YOUR fault!" she screamed at Angel, who was busy scuttling away from Jeb. Angel was faintly aware of tears running down her face, and she saw Jeb's malicious grin widen.
Jeb stuck his hands down his pants, and Angel's face turned to a mixture of horror and disgust. Jeb just grinned wider, and proceeded to pull something out…
It was a stun gun.
Faster than a blink of the eye, Jeb proceeded to raise the gun, and shot Dr. Martinez square in the forehead. The older woman swayed uncertainly for a moment before crashing to the ground with a sickening crunch, her eyes rolling back.
Jeb licked his lips and looked down at the terror-struck six-year-old next to him, still struggling to escape his iron grip.
"It's just you and me now…"
-Don't mind me, I'm just a line break!-
Gazzy was in heaven.
His smell, his taste, his feel... Everything about Omega was perfect. He was extremely ecstatic to be sucking Omega's face. But then Omega's hand went down... WAY down...
Clothes were removed and MANY ya-yas were released... Every movement sent pleasure through Gazzy's veins. But then the snap of a twig brought him out of his moment of ecstasy. He paused, and turned around to inspect the sudden noise. Omega seemed disappointed, but followed suit.
It was then that he heard a large sniffle come from behind a tree. But wait... he recognized that voice... it was...
Nudge stepped out from behind the tree, a now sobbing Total in her arms.
"But..." Nudge started, staring at the two naked boys, "Omega turns me on!"
Gazzy and Omega stared.
"I knew him before you, didn't I! I was the one who said he had the cute gene! And now look what you go and do! And look at what you did to Total!"
"You bastard!" Total shrieked, falling to the ground. Gazzy glanced at him curiously.
"What?" he asked, amused.
"I loved you!" Total cried passionately, "And now look at how you betray me!"
"You never talked to me. Ever."
"I was trying to play hard to get!" Total huffed, "Obviously you couldn't take a hint!" Nudge nodded furiously in agreement.
"But now it's too late, my love. Thy ripped out my heart and-"
Gazzy felt incredibly annoyed at the talking dog. He was taking away Gazzy's sexy time with Omega, and he was going to pay.
"SHUT UP!" He screamed at Total.
"Go fuck yourself!" Total shrieked back, "Oh, well I guess it's too late for that!" and with a dramatic swish of his Scotty head, he turned and left, running into the forest.
Nudge remained.
"So..." she said, shaking out her hair, "You guys want a piece of this beautalicious bod?"
"No."
"Are you sure, because-"
"No."
Nudge shot a dirty look at Gazzy, then shot one more dejected glance at Omega before running back into the woods after Total.
"Oh well." Omega said cheerfully. "Let's get back to business..."
-Don't mind me, I'm just a line break-
Meanwhile, Total and Nudge were planning a terrible, terrible scheme to make Gazzy and Omega pay for breaking their hearts.
"Total! I have the perfect idea!" Nudge said all of a sudden, wearing an evil grin. She slowly moved towards the tiny black dog. She sat down next to him, and gazed intensely into Total's eyes. It was then Nudge brought the dramatic pause to an end, unable to contain it any longer and said-
"Let's make them jealous."
Total stared.
"I mean, come on! They do it on Laguna Beach and The Hills all the time!"
Total kept staring. "What are you saying we should do?"
"I'm saying we should... make them jealous..."
"I'm not following." said Total, scratching his ear.
Nudge sighed impatiently. "Have sex with me, Total!"
"WHAT!?" Total yelped, "What happened to freaking out over Max and Fang?"
"The time for that is long gone," Nudge said solemnly, "Virginity and youthful innocence is a thing of the past. Welcome to the real world. Now, are you with me or not? Or do you not want to get Gazzy back...?"
-Don't mind me, I'm just a line break!-
Angel had suddenly remembered her super-human strength, and Jeb was lying on the floor, belt buckle undone. She searched around for her shirt, found it, and rather shakily flew as far away as she could get.
Angel landed in yet another clearing, and found herself, thankfully, alone.
Angel needed to think of a plan. Everyone had gone crazy! First Max and Fang, then Iggy and Ella, now even Omega and Gazzy! And now that she thought of it, Nudge and Total weren't going to last that much longer... if they were lasting at all.
Angel wished this had never happened. Where did she go wrong? If this had never happened, maybe she'd be in Disneyworld right now! If this had never happened... WAIT! Angel had a plan.
After thinking it through a while, she was ready. The only problem was that she had to FIND everybody, and she wasn't quite ready to be scarred like that again.
But she had no choice. This had gone too far. And, though she hated to admit it, it was her fault. Her influence on Max's dream had gone from a playful joke to her own worst nightmare.
Angel knew what she had to do, it was time to put her plan into action...
She quickly drew a small map of the forest.
"Okay, so Max and Fang are in the cave, Iggy and Ella are over this way in the forest, and Omega and Gazzy are almost right next to them..." she muttered to herself. She needed to find Nudge and Total; then everything would be back to normal.
She took of with a running start, and soon was high above the treetops. Flying over the forest, Angel listened for the familiar thoughts of her two best friends.
She heard their thoughts long before she saw them.
Ooh, Total. Do that again.
How is this supposed to work!? Where's Gazzy and Omega? Hey! STOP TUGGING ON THAT!
Angel screamed, and, once again, fainted.
But this time she was 300 feet in the air.
-Don't mind me, I'm just a line break!-
When Angel woke up, she noticed a pair of concerned eyes hovering above her own. Hadn't she fallen? Why was she alive?
"You're up!" said a voice joyously. She realized it was coming from the thing with eyes. She sat up, and found herself looking at a boy about a year or so younger than her.
With a jolt, she realized that this was the little boy Jeb wanted her to meet.
At that same moment, she realized how cute he was.
-Don't mind me, I'm just a line break!-
At this point, Jeb had woken up, albeit with a pounding headache. Bird kids could hit.
He glared at the horizon, where the sun was beginning to set.
Just you wait, Angel. Just you wait until I have you again…
-Don't mind me, I'm just a line break!-
Angel gazed intensely into the eyes of the mysterious boy before ripping off his clothes and tackling him to the ground.
-Don't mind me, I'm just a line break!-
While all the members of the Flock were doing the "Hump De Bump," something worse was astir…
The Director was crazy with rage. She tried to exterminate all of those retched experiments, and here they were breeding. She held a nuclear bomb in her hands, and she knew that if she triggered it, that stupid Flock would be gone. But, due to her current status of insane, she did not realize that the rest of the planet would go with them… including herself.
But Angel did.
Too bad she wasn't paying attention.
-Don't mind me, I'm just a line break!-
Angel and the mysterious boy lay panting on the ground, lathering dirt over their sweat-covered bodies.
"So," Angel said, propping one elbow against her head conversationally. "What's your name again?"
The boy looked back and smiled. "John Smith."
"Well isn't that sexy," she whispered seductively, preparing to pounce once again.
"Well-" But John Smith was cut off by a very maniacal cackle, which Angel identified as the Director's.
"Fuck."
John Smith looked over curiously.
"Sorry," she muttered quickly, shoving her leg through a pant hole, "I've got to run." She began to take off in flight, but the boy interrupted her.
"WAIT!" he yelled, his tear-filled eyes filled with wonder as they gazed into hers. "Will I ever see you again?"
She returned the gaze intensely, as she took of higher in the air. It was better this way.
"You were nothing but a one-night stand," she said coldly, as his eyes stared back in despair. "You won't even remember me in the morning."
Angel flew away as fast as she could, tears in her eyes as she located the rest of her humping flock, forcing them to gather at the camp. After slitting Jeb's throat, and sending Omega to a quaint hut in Cuba with the Director, she lied down in the place she had slept the night before, before any of this had ever happened.
"Good night," she whispered, and everything was black.
-Don't mind me, I'm just a line break!-
Max woke up that morning a little upset, with no recollection of the day before and it's events. She had quite enjoyed that dream. Sitting up, she saw Angel was already awake.
Angel gazed back with tear-filled eyes, and before she could ask if Max had a good 'dream,' she pounced.
Wooooooow, Elle and I's writing style has changed so much since we first wrote this.
We actually got the whole creepy "Jeb" thing from the back of James Patterson's The Lake House. In that picture, he's wearing the pale orange shirt and the 'relax' hat.
And seeing as Supergirrl wrote the whole beginning italics part in a fic of her own, In All Your Fantasies, we suggest you GO AND READ IT.
Thanks for staying with us and reading! (And if you want to read any of own NEW stuff, check out our new account 'Ellfe'. Link on our M-S profile.
-Elle and Fee