Disclaimer: I do not own Firefly, Joss does, neither do I own Jayne's costume; I just can't remember the name of those who came up with the idea. Help there would be appreciated. I do however own the rest well except for certain references to the Wizard of Oz.
Jayne growled as he adjusted his collar. He hated gorrom girls and their idjit ideas and he swore never again would he drink and play cards at the same time, well never again with crazy moonbrain girls. It had started out so innocent like. He had gotten stuck babysitten the kid and she had been driving him up the wall. So when River asked him to teach her how to play cards he figured he hadn't anything better to do. Then she had said he could drink some of Kaylee's engine wine and she wouldn't tell a soul. That sounded like an even better idea. Jayne shook his head and growled again, "shoulda known better than that. Gorrom girls a genus, shoulda known she could play cards better than me." By the end of the night Jayne was drunk and in so deep he agreed to take the kid trick-o-treating, and worse he would dress up in the costume the girl chose for him. Taking a look in the mirror he thought girls kinda kinky in her choice of outfits, ceptin the headgear, wonder what other things she's kinky bout too.
Simon sat in the kitchen waiting on Kaylee to finish up with her costume. Checking his watch he sighed if she doesn't hurry up we are going to be late. Simon was just about to go find out what was taking so long when she appeared and he swallowed his tongue. "I…I thought you were dressing up as a nurse," he finally managed to get out. Kaylee giggled at the look on his face. "Oh but I did," she replied her eyes shining. "Kaylee none of the nurse I worked with ever dressed like that. It's kind of…you know…" he said gesturing towards her chest which was about to spill out of the white uniform. Kaylee just smiled and stepped closer to Simon, "Oh but I am a nurse a very naughty nurse, and you might have to spank me later," she said her breathy, take me to bed, tone. Simon's eyes glazed over and he was about the kiss her when a pair of black leather clad legs made themselves known.
Simon looked up to see Jayne stand on the last step wearing leather pants, a spiked collar, and a leash. He grinned, as he watched the merc squirm under his gaze "Jayne…didn't know you were into dominatrix fetishes….but why the ears? Jayne couldn't help the slow grin that crawled across his face as he answered, "Don't know, don't care, ask your sister." Walking down the last step he made room for the person holding his leash. Simon chocked and went pale as he observed his precious mei mei. She was standing on the third step in pigtails, a blue dress that looked like one of those naughty French maid outfits, with a small white apron, and a pair of shiny red four inch heel knee-high boots. "Mei Mei, you really can't go out dressed like that," Simon groaned. River stomped her foot, "Simon promised River she could go out if someone would escort her, and he also said she could pick her own costume."
"Yes, but River we discussed you going out dressed as a princess or an elf, or a character from a children's book," he replied.
Again Rive stomped her foot "Am….am a character from book. Am Dorothy and he is Toto. My dog will scare the bad men away," she said with faultless logic.
Simon couldn't help it; he started laughing, really hard, so hard he hit the floor and Jayne well Jayne started to growl, loudly. "Down boy," said River pulling on Jayne's leash. Rather than risk River coming after him with a butcher's knife, again, Jayne stopped growling.
River smiled her I've got a secret smile, "If Jayne behaves tonight River promises to give Jayne a very big bone, and some place warm to bury it."
Jayne's eyes went wide as he heard her words. "Mei Mei," cried Simon, who looked like he was about to faint. "You can't say things like that to Jayne; he will get the wrong impression. He's an ape mei mei, he only has three things on his brain, food, drink, and sex."
River smiled as she pulled a large cookie in the shape of bone from behind her back and waved it in front of Simon, "Is not his stomach a warm place?"
Simon sighed in relief and after arguing with his little sister a few more minutes he finally relented and let Kaylee lead him off the ship. River grinned as she handed Jayne the cookie. Jayne munched away on the cookie, although he would never admit it, not even to himself, he was kind of disappointed that this was the bone River had been talking about. As River led him off the ship, she smiled suggestively at Jayne, "Maybe you can give her a bone later, if she is not too naughty." As they walked off into the night, Jayne decided that maybe drink and playing cards with gorrom crazy-girls weren't such a bad thing.