Only Friends
By: *~Sakura~*
I stand, hidden in the shadows, watching her, the object of my affection kissing that damn wolf. It's his fault and I know it. Around them, I put on a cheery face, giving them my encouragement in the relationship they have; but away from them, I am a whole different person. I just don't understand why HE gets her love, the love I have been wanting the day I met her. I hate this. It's just not fair. Who was the one who knew her the longest? Me. Who was the one who called her pathetic every five seconds of the day when they were ten? HIM. Who was her closest friend and designed her outfits? Me. He may have been her partner in card capturing but I was the one, in the beginning, who gave her encouragement and hope. Even though he has become much closer and kinder to her, protecting her in a way that I couldn't, I just can't rid myself of this pain in my heart. Day after day, it knaws at me, eating me from the inside out. Many times, I have thought of suicide, but I knew that if I killed myself, it would hurt her as well and I couldn't bear hurting her. How past repeats itself: the child of Daidouji Sonomi falling in love with the child of Kinomouto Nadeshiko. I know I'll never win her love. I already have, but not the kind I want it to be. Even though I know she and the wolf are soul mates, I just can't stop trying to win her affections in THAT way. The situation is hopeless. I'm a fool. I remember that one time, where I grew bold enough to tell her my feelings. I was at her house, you know, just spending quality "girl time" with my best friend until I suddenly HAD to say:
************Flashback************
"Sakura-chan, do you love Li-kun?"
She looked at me with those indescribable green eyes of
hers and blushed slightly at my question.
"Is it that obvious?" She replied softly.
"What's wrong Sakura?" I asked her.
"I'm afraid Syaoran doesn't love me…I don't have the
courage to ask him myself. What if he doesn't love me and just thinks of me as
a friend? I'd feel completely stupid…"
Whatever possessed me to comfort her and tick of the
reasons and evidence of Li's obvious love, I don't know. Maybe it's because it
was true…maybe it was because she was my best friend…maybe it was because I
love her and wanted her to be happy. Either way, she looked slightly better and
told me I was a great friend, blah blah blah…. I enjoyed her praise…but felt
wounded inside. Suddenly I just had to tell her…
"I love you Sakura-chan…" I said and my mind caught up
with the words I just said. Damn it, I silently cursed.
"I love you too Tomoyo," she replied smiling, "You are my
best friend after all.
My heart shattered.
************End Flashback************
I freeze as I suddenly hear the wolf and her laugh together. It is a beautiful sound. I take a peek at them from behind the tree I am standing at. She looks so happy, and he too.
Now I know she only loves me…as a friend. That will never change and yet…and yet I find myself smiling softly at that thought. Remember, Sakura's happiness is your happiness I remind myself. That's right…if she's happy…. then I'm happy too. I'd give up anything to keep her happy…even if it means giving up her. But my love for her will never change… I will love her for eternity and beyond and I know Syaoran will do the same. Now, it's time for me to play my part.
Syaoran's POV
She's so beautiful, inside and out…my Ying Fa. I find myself lost in her eyes again. I lean forward slightly and she does the same. Suddenly Tomoyo pops out of nowhere from behind a tree with her V8.
"KAWAII!!!!! (An: Did I spell it right? I forgot whether there's an "I" before the first "A" or not. Correct me if I'm wrong!)," she shrieks.
Tomoyo's POV
I pop out of nowhere from behind my tree with my V8 in my hand and cry out:
"KAWAII!!!!"
I relish and enjoy the look of annoyance and surprise on Li-kun's face and the tired look on Sakura's.
"Don't worry about me! Just continue with what you were doing and pretend I'm not here!" I sing out.
Li-kun and Sakura both sweatdrop at the same time.
"Tomoyo…." Sakura whimpers.
I grin, despite the pain of seeing them in each other's arms.
"Is it your goal to get our entire lives on tape?" question's Li-kun.
"Of course it is!" I reply, with a happy grin on my face. "After all, you two make the most PERFECT and KAWAII couple in the ENTIRE UNIVERSE!"
They both groan again.
I just grin and continue recording with my V8. Someday
you'll know my true feelings…but for now, I'll just play matchmaker. But, you
had better name your first female child after me for being so supportive. Why am
I doing this? Because your happiness is my happiness Sakura…and it will always
be that way. Aishiteru.
Author's Notes:
Well, what did you think? It's my VERY first fanfic so don't kill me if it's bad. I tried really hard at writing this. I'm not a very good writer am I? I'll stop beating myself up now. I know it was rather cheesy and there wasn't a whole lot of S+S in it, but I tried! Please, read and review!
luv,
*~Sakura~*