Hello again! Here is the crack I promised you all, I must warn you this was mostly written around one in the morning and after being stuck in a car for more than two hours. I was really bored. Allright I'm done talking, on if you guys think of a title for this let me know and I might chose one of you guy's :).
Sherlock tromped up the stairs ranting about the acting in the movie he and John had just seen. "It was obvious that he didn't understand his character. His acting was as clear as diamond. It wasn't real at all. The only good actor in the entire movie must have been the odd one with horns...what was his name?" Sherlock asked frustratedly.
"Loki." John smiled a bit in spite of in himself.
"Yes, that's the one, he was the only real character in there. His plan for world domination had many flaws, it had to, if it hadn't the Revengers wouldn't have stopped him."
"Avengers."
"I said that." Sherlock scowled at John as he opened the door to the flat.
"No you didn't." John said teasingly.
"Yes I did."
"Shut up Sherlock." John said as he grabbed Sherlock by the collar of his purple silk shirt and gave him a long and drawn out kiss. Sherlock smiled and kissed John's forehead before turning and leaving for his bedroom.
"Are you actually going to bed?" John asked incredulously.
"Yes. Aren't you coming?" Sherlock slipped inside and almost closed the door leaving a shaft of golden light on the rug. John smiled mischievously and ran into Sherlock's room, shutting the door behind them.
xXx
"Good morning." Sherlock called from the kitchen, where he was torturing the stove into giving another piece of slightly edible, although mostly burned toast.
"Umm..What are you doing?" John asked, puzzled.
"I'm making toast." Sherlock said as he kicked the stove.
"Oh ok, just checking." John backed away as Sherlock kicked the poor stove again.
John's phone vibrated on the kitchen table where he'd left it before last nights, activities. John picked up his phone and unlocked the screen.
"It's Lestrade. He says he has a murder case." John called over his shoulder.
"Ooh goody!" Sherlock said, sounding like a kid in a candy shop, "Who's the victim?"
"Lara Brown, middle aged woman, brown hair, green eyes, works as a corporate executive for a cat food company, has two cats, and was found dead on her apartment floor covered in scratches."
"Cause of death?"
"Lestraude thinks it's the ca-"
"Well of course he does. He's Lestrade!"
"Yes, I know that. But the body is covered in cat scratches," John consulted his phone before continuing. "Across the throat, chest and wrists."
"Lets go look at the body. There's more, it wasn't the cats." Sherlock strode out the door pulling his overcoat and scarf with him.
"Well that was fascinating." Sherlock proclaimed as he stepped out of Saint Bart's holding two cat carriers and pleased to have solved another case, "Who would've thought of drugging the cats and then putting catnip in Lara's perfume?"
"Oh all right," John's face cleared, "But why do we have the cats?"
"Well the owner's dead, the shelter probably would have separated or euthanized them, and I kind of like them. So I thought we might keep them." Sherlock explained.
"And when exactly were you planning on getting my input on this?" John asked indignantly.
"I don't know, I didn't think it was required." Sherlock looked puzzled.
"You didn't...oh my god. Allright, just remember to ask next time." John said as he threw his hands up in the air in exasperation.
"You sound like Mycroft."
"No I don't, oh never mind." There was an awkward silence before John asked what Sherlock would call the cats.
"Well I was thinking Cat One and Ca-" Sherlock started.
"Really Sherlock? You're impossible. They are not your test subjects!" John exclaimed as he stepped out of the cab.
"Well what would you call them?" Sherlock asked smugly.
"Well the brown male one should be called Loki." John smiled.
"Loki?" Sherlock raised an eyebrow.
"Yeah I mean he's extremely dominant. Look at the way he commands the flat." John said gesturing to the armchair the cat sat on.
"Yes, but what about the other one?" Sherlock wondered what john would come up with after his first idea.
"Umm I don't really know. She doesn't really stand out." John said puzzled.
"Good."
"No, Sherlock!"
"Humph."
xXx
The next morning John awoke to the smell of burning fur, dyes and a screaming smoke alarm. Now remember that this is Sherlock he lives with, so maybe he could have thought about what it might mean,but being a rudely awakened John, in stead he stormed into the living room, ready for whatever flames awaited him. Except there wasn't a fire. There wasn't even any smoke. Sherlock was sitting on the couch holding his ears and staring out the open window. John turned to the kitchen and stepped onto the chair to turn of the alarm.
Once the alarm was shut off, he walked over to the drain the overflowing sink when he noticed a small furry head sticking out from the water.
"Sherlock?" John asked. Sherlock could hear the tension building in his voice, and decided that this was not the time to respond. John lifted the poor soaked kitten out of the sink and recognized it as the unnamed one form the night before. Then his jaw dropped as he stared at the dripping, pink, cat.
The kitten was now a nice rosey, pink color. John turned and walked into the living room, bent over, and dropped the cat onto Sherlock's lap. The cat turned and cocked its head to one side as it looked at Sherlock.
"I thought you promised Sherlock." John said as he scowled at the curly haired figure.
"I never promised." was the short reply.
"I shouldn't have to make you. These are pets not test subjects!" John was on the verge of yelling now. Time to pull a trick out. Sherlock thought.
"You should have specified before and besides, I haven't done anything to Loki. And more importantly this one now has a name." Sherlock said, hoping this would work.
"Really?" John asked sarcastically, "And what do you propose we should call the poor thing?"
"Rose, like that crap telly show you love so much."
"Doctor Who! It's not crap, I like it!" John smiled, he liked the name it ha a nice ring to it. Plus it made sense being as the cat was now pink. "I like it."
Sherlock sighed, relieved from John's rage at the experiment. John grabbed a towel from the bathroom and began to dry off Rose when Loki sauntered over and began to lick Rose dry. Loki Stopped for a moment and stared at John as if saying, "This is my cat, what are you doing to my cat?". And john threw his hands up in defeat. Loki turned and continued nuzzling and licking Rose.
"It seems that Loki is taking Rose for a mate." Sherlock said aloud.
"Really Sherlock? I never would have guessed." John was tired.
"John you are quite sarcastic today." Sherlock deduced.
"You woke me up with a pink cat, smoke, and a screaming alarm at six o'clock, of course I'm feeling snarky and sarcastic."
"I suppose that makes sense." Sherlock said in a monotone voice. Sherlock's phone vibrated where he'd left it on the coffee table. He snatched it up.
"Case from Lestraude, lets go." Sherlock stood and headed for the door,
"Call the cab, I'll be right there." John ran to change his shirt and find a jumper, and almost stepped on the two cats laying side by side on the floor. He changed and was almost out the door before he realized the cats were probably starving. He scrounged around the kitchen before finally just dumping some tuna in a bowl and setting it on the floor. John slammed the door and nearly fell down the stairs in his hurry before climbing into the cab with Sherlock.
xXx
Sherlock stepped through the front door and nearly tripped on the empty bowl. He looked around the flat and deduced that it must have been for the cats rather than a hobo getting through the window for some free food. John stepped around Sherlock and through the door and headed for his room. He was exhausted from the chase of the murderer, his adrenaline had run its course. John collapsed on the bed fully clothed and promptly fell asleep. Sherlock walked through the living room and laid on the couch, taking up his thinking pose to review the case.
It really hadn't been that hard, he solved it fairly easily but the plan was well thought out, there weren't many mistakes made. The killer had murdered three people, all completely unrelated. The cause of death, strangled, poison, and gunshot. But Sherlock had seen the signature of the man and was able to solve the case within the an hour. He heard mewling from the cats but they were nowhere to be seen. He looked at a clock, eight. John would be attacking his alarm clock again soon. Sherlock retreated to his bedroom to finish his review .
As expected a loud bleeping, followed by some extremely profane language erupted from John's room down the hall. Sherlock rolled over and came face to face with Rose and Loki lying next to each other on the pillows.
xXx
"Sherlock, what have you done with Rose now?" John looked under and around bowls and pans, in the refrigerator, and around the living room.
"I haven't done anything with her." Sherlock replied over the clacking of his computer keys.
"Well then have you seen her? Or Loki?" John asked puzzled.
"Really John? Must I explain everything to you?" Sherlock said exasperated, "What have you noticed the last few days?"
"Well the cats are together a lot and Rose disappears sometimes...Oh god Sherlock, don't tell me they..." John looked at Sherlock.
"Yes John, I believe they have eloped." Sherlock continued to type, raising his eyes slightly above the lid to see John sitting amazed in his chair.
xXx
"Sherlock! It's happening!" John yelled from the corner behind the had discovered Rose's nest a few days ago after her fourth week long disappearance. Sherlock ran down the stairs, spilling the boiled water and towels on himself as he went. John grabbed a towel and dipped it in the boiling water to wash his hands. Rose screeched and Sherlock covered his ears as he retreated back upstairs in to his room.
A few hours later John walked in and told Sherlock that all the kittens were out.